I consider myself an expert in recovering from emotional shocks. The past six years has been a long series of extremely difficult events that were accompanied by heavy emotional after-shock for me.
I was denied entry at the US border for complicated reasons, I had a near-death experience during an ectopic pregnancy, I discovered a boyfriend was cheating on me with a dozen women, a long-time friend and film partner turned out to be a liar and a thief, my mother passed away from cancer in a tragic death, another boyfriend had a mental breakdown, and my thirteen year-old sweet cat ran away one night and never returned.
All this happened in the space of six years. If your recent years sound anything like mine, then you know how difficult it is to pick up the broken pieces afterwards and try to remain detached and peaceful. In this article, I would like to share how I cope with emotional shocks and how you too can recover more quickly from intense emotional shocks.
Why Did This Happen To Me?
Usually everyone’s first response when faced with a difficult life event is to feel like a victim. As conscious and advanced as we might be on the spiritual path, the majority of us react the same way. We ask ourselves, “Why did this happen to me? Why me? How could this happen to me? I am such a good person, this is not fair!” Depending on your emotional intelligence, this state could last a short time (one day) or a really long time (months, years).
Normally I allow myself to bathe in the victim mentality for one day or a few days to allow myself to recover from the initial shock. In those moments, I isolate myself in nature and let reality sink in slowly. I typically do not speak to others while I adjust to my new world, little by little, and I enjoy the silence around me.
The problem begins when you stay in this state of feeling like a victim. As Paulo Coelho writes, “If you act like a victim, you are likely to be treated as one”. As you bathe in this feeling of being a victim, others will begin to see you as powerless and fallen, rather than powerful and strong. It is all right to allow ourselves moments of self-pity but there must come a time when you start to be, as Nora Ephron said, “The heroine of your life, not the victim”. How long will you allow yourself to be a victim of life before you start being a hero again?
Share Your Feelings with Friends
Sitting alone in your room playing the victim will create feelings of depression, loneliness, despair, and isolation. I have been there, I know what it’s like. The second step is to reach out and speak to your close friends about this recent hardship.
Connect with another compassionate human being. Pick up the phone, text somebody close to you, go for supper, go for a walk, do something. Do not remain alone at home with your feelings of sadness and agony, as this usually leads down dead-end paths.
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Talking with another person brings us new perspectives on our lives and brings us out of our one-way roads of seeing the present moment. It is amazing how light and free we feel after sharing our feelings with friends! Not only can our friends suggest new paths to explore, they can also help us carry some of the burden we are carrying. If you have really good friends like I do, then you end up doing Tai Chi or Reiki together to raise the vibrations around you and you always go home happier and transformed.
What Have I Learned?
After I have stepped out of the victim mentality and shared my feelings with my close friends, then I sit down to meditate. I close my eyes and try to look at the event through the eyes of detachment rather than resentment. This can sometimes take several meditation sessions because I might still be feeling anger, sadness, betrayal, confusion or abandonment.
I stare with my spirit eyes at the recent event and ask my spirit the simple questions: “Why has this happened to me? What must I learn from this in order not to suffer anymore?”
Some of us receive answers very quickly in the form of visions while others will receive answers through words or sensations or dreams. Trust that your spirit has enough power to clearly communicate to you why you went through this recent shock and what you must integrate so as not to repeat the suffering you are currently experiencing.
How Can I Help Others?
When you have given yourself some time to play the victim, spoken to friends and gotten good advice, and asked your spirit for clarity, then you can make this life lesson part of your library of wisdom. You are now in the position to help others around you who are living a similar emotional shock.
Pay attention to the characters that appear next on your life screen, oftentimes they are struggling with a similar emotional battle that you just survived and integrated. You are now equipped to listen to them and give them some much-needed emotional and mental support.
Like Mark Kahn says in his video “Reclaiming Your Power” on YouTube, “Do you realize that everything you encounter is your own creation? That these characters have been put there for a reason?”
You are on earth to expand your consciousness, to repair some of the unconsciousness done in past lives, to discover self-love and love and respect. All that happens in your life is a direct result of you needing to live this in order to come into contact with your Higher Self. Most of us know this philosophy, but it can be challenging to apply it daily when we deal with big emotional shocks.
Emotional shocks, if untreated, can become life-long illnesses. They can turn into severe mental, emotional and physical illnesses that could negatively affect your life and those around you. Don’t sit around in the victim mentality too long. Observe yourself, love yourself more, forgive yourself, and pull yourself back up. There is always sunshine after the rain!
©2016. Nora Caron. All Rights Reserved.
About the Author
Nora Caron has a Masters degree in English Renaissance literature and speaks four languages. After struggling through the academic system, she realized that her true calling was to help people live from their hearts and explore the world through the eyes of their spirit. Nora has studied with various spiritual teachers and healers since 2003 and she practices Energy Medicine as well as Tai Chi and Qi Gong. In September 2014, her book "Journey to the Heart", received the Living Now Book Award Silver Medal for Best Inspirational Fiction. Visit her website at: www.noracaron.com
Watch a video with Nora: New Dimensions of Being
Books by Nora Caron
Journey to the Heart: New Dimensions Trilogy, Book 1
by Nora Caron.
Watch the book trailer: Journey to the Heart - Book Trailer