Personality traits can change through persistent intervention and major life events, a review of recent research suggests.
The first priority in life is to be true to the creative principle within yourself -- to recognize that you have the gift of life and to be a caretaker of that gift.
You need to have the courage to live life. This includes learning to ask for what you need or want. Sometimes you are out to correct an injustice or right a wrong; other times all you’re trying to do is order a side of fries.
Being on constant alert for danger has, at least from an evolutionary standpoint, helped us survive as a species. An unintended consequence is that it also has pushed us to have a negativity bias. Most people must make an effort to think positively instead of negatively.
Depression and anxiety are diseases, and like most diseases, your lifestyle can affect them. Both your body and your brain require proper care and fuel, which is what a healthy lifestyle provides. Think about it: If you had heart disease, would you eat hamburgers and fries and expect to get better?
Have you ever seen or heard something that turned out not to exist? Or have you ever thought something was happening that no one else noticed.
In any year, one in five Australians will experience symptoms of a mental illness.
At my age, I am aware that there is no magic formula, and that life is a journey. We each travel on our own path, which may sometimes be easy and sometimes difficult to tread. However, there are positive and negative ways of coping with the stresses and joys of everyday life.
When one of my coaching clients complained to her doctor that she was depressed, he diagnosed her as having a personality disorder and referred her to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist told her she did not at all have a personality disorder; she was just depressed. She talked through her feelings and walked out of the session feeling liberated from the burden of a label.
I have a small note above my desk that is titled: “Non-Negotiable Necessities.” These are the things in my life that I truly can’t live without. They comprise the foundation of my self-care that, if neglected, sets me off balance and makes me much less effective in all that I do.
If we simply pay attention to all that happens to us throughout the day, we will be astounded by the love and care given to us every moment. But if we don’t pay attention, we can easily miss the sometimes disguised touch of...
If we accept that life is always trying to teach us exactly what we need to learn, we can view everything that happens to us as a gift. Even experiences that are uncomfortable or painful contain within them an important key to our healing, wholeness, and prosperity.
The good news about having duality in our perspective is that, at the very least, we have options. We have retained our gift of choice. When we don’t recognize both elements of our perception, it is a safe bet that fear has placed its veil over our heart. When this happens it becomes very hard to differentiate between what is our truth and what is our fear.
Our society is riddled with a myriad of dysfunctional behaviors and addictions, ways in which we attempt to deaden not only our own pain but the pain of others. And for some highly sensitive humans, appropriate boundaries around what belongs to them and what does not will become muddled.
Just because some inner voice in your head tells you that you are unworthy, unlovable, a loser, or whatever mean “sandbox name” it wants to call you, it doesn’t mean that it’s a fact or even based in reality. You have the power to challenge and change a negative thought always, as harsh or brutal as it may be.
The results can often be dramatic when people start to love themselves, give up pretending, and really learn how to relax. Two processes can happen spontaneously even when you are not having professional treatment: catharsis and abreaction. It can be a little alarming, but you will feel better as a result of it.
If you have contradictory desire streams -- desires for two opposing things at the same time -- it becomes much more difficult for Nature to fulfill your desires. For example, you might think that you desire an ideal relationship, but if part of your brain is thinking, "Hah, you don't deserve that. It's never worked before.."
Does happiness arise by attaining a certain status, or by finding the love of your life? If you chase happiness in the things of this world, you will become disillusioned. No matter how much stuff you acquire, how much you are admired...
Funky moods obscure our experience for hours, days, weeks, or even longer. Left unattended, they shape our personalities and determine the quality of our lives. We think that we have no control over our moods but the truth is quite the contrary.
Someone once said to me they didn't feel that being happy was a choice. They felt that no one decides to have a bad day. That everyone starts the day choosing to be happy, but that things happened along the way that were out of their control. While I agree that things do happen that are out of our control...
Do you think your mood difficulties are linked to your childhood, your first romantic relationship, your choice to study one subject in college rather than another, the city you settled in, or your career path? Spending time in the past may help you to answer the question why, but it won’t give you the tools to feel better in the present.
Virtually every aspect of your daily life is impacted by unhealthy beliefs. Unhealthy beliefs have the power to impact your body, your emotions and your life circumstances. Therefore, by healing your unhealthy beliefs it is possible to cause positive changes within your body, your emotions and your life.
When we neglect ourselves in the mad rush to make a living, take care of business and raise our families, we die a little with each passing day. What have you done lately to nurture yourself, enhance your creativity and honor your soul?
This advice is for you if you resonate with one of the following sayings and want a different perspective on a problem you’re facing NOW. I obtained the advice by imagining myself in the future when I was no longer setback in the way described by each of the sayings. I then asked myself what advice I would give that younger and stuck me.
Ultimately, the most effective ways to increase happiness, optimism, and resilience depend on each unique individual and each particular situation. Paths to greater wellness are varied. It’s a lot like musical tastes. Different people may prefer Beethoven, Bach, the Beach Boys, Beyoncé, or Bobby Lewis, but the joy each person feels while listening is the same.
It may surprise you to learn that your ego doesn't believe that love really exists, but it's true. Just think! When you allow your ego to direct your search for love, you are actually asking the only thing in the universe that doesn't know what love is, to find it for you.
Every now and then I come across an affirmation that really 'hits home'. One of these is "I think and speak only words of love". I found this one in Louise Hay's book "Heal Your Body." When I started using this affirmation, I immediately saw and felt its power-full effects.
Contemplate how a person’s life would be changed by starting to hear or see things others can’t. Now imagine it could offer something good. Clinical psychologist Lily Dixon and her team detail the experiences of seven people who have lived with verbal or auditory hallucinations; amid the struggles, the researchers report, their journeys have also taken them to some positive places.
Connecting to the true Self gives me access to information and knowledge way beyond anything I have ever learned in a book or the limited amount stored in my memory. I know if I can tap into my true Self I will have access to all the information I need.
It is becoming clear to me that the way most of us have lived our lives has not been in harmony with the way the universe intended. It seems that we have somehow lost touch with the loving flow of life, our rhythm of being, our sense of peacefulness about ourselves and satisfaction with what we are and what we are here to do.
We have repressed a lot of our emotions, whether they are considered 'good' or 'bad' ones. Sometimes we hold back on expressing our love for fear of being misunderstood, or perhaps thinking the timing is not 'right'. Most commonly, we have been taught to hold back on our 'negative' emotions — fear, anger, sorrow, pain, etc.
Vulnerability isn’t timidity or weakness. Rather, it’s an acknowledgment that we are sensitive, alive, and affected emotionally by our interactions and experiences. When we are open and accessible, we are able to connect with ourselves, and we make it much easier for others to connect with us.
In addition to mapping human consciousness, the Seven Levels Model can also be used as a template to describe the stages of human psychological development. Figure 1 shows the stages of psychological development and their correspondence with the seven levels of consciousness.
For several hundred years, people have mistakenly believed that technology, once fully developed, would solve the ills of mankind, that science would provide the path out of the woods, away from illness, poverty, misery, and pain. We now know that...
Science is rapidly proving that the mind, brain, and body are tightly linked. Though emotional and physical pain register in the body similarly, the long-term effects of emotional pain are actually greater than those of physical pain.
Finding a way to engage more fully in our lives and open ourselves to greater love, peace and happiness is a yearning many of us feel. Yet we tend to occupy ourselves with daily distractions and busy-ness, only to watch the days slip by without connection to any meaningful core.
Although the healing process can really occur in three simple steps — find your willingness to see differently, give your willingness to your Inner Therapist, and trust that it is done — I find that I often need more ways to separate myself from the ego because it hangs on so tightly. Or, perhaps, because I hang on to it so tightly.
New research digs into how setbacks affect the pursuit of our goals, such as weight loss.
Worrying about things we have no control over is counterproductive. It makes you tense -- which, in turn, ruins your judgment. When you are worried, you live in a state of fear. This makes it difficult, if not impossible, to be loving, helpful, and kind on a day-to-day, moment-to-moment basis.
We may be born surrounded by people and circumstances who will set us gently on our journey -- or we may have more difficult conditions. Those who, on Earth, seem to be our harshest taskmasters, may be very close to us in our soul group.
Most of us can access a supportive voice when we speak to small children or animals. That’s your Inner Nurturer voice! It may feel difficult to access if you haven’t practiced it very often, but it’s there. If you have trouble accessing your own Inner Nurturer voice, you can...
For the family and friends of people who self-injure, as well as the doctors and services that try to support them, a key question is often: why do they do it?
Many advertisements tell us that we are stupid or broken and need intelligence or fixing. How wonderful it feels -- and how powerfully it works -- to regard ourselves and each other as innately wise and capable of accomplishing anything we choose.
How many times have you found yourself in a repetitive cycle you just can’t seem to break? Are you back to that same old situation again, the one that makes you feel powerless and miserable? It’s easy to judge yourself harshly as you think, What happened? I did all that...
Affirmations are really anything that we say or think. We say, "I don't want this in my life" or "I don't want to be sick anymore" or "I hate my job".
Sadness is a natural reaction to hurts and losses. When not expressed constructively, it silently eats at your heart until joy has to pack its bags and move out.
Suicide is one of the top 10 causes of death in the U.S.There are many factors known to affect an individual’s risk for suicide. For example, people who are older, male, white, divorced, low-income, isolated or who abuse substances are all at higher risk. Psychiatric illness, mood disorders and lack of social support are also...
Getting a good night of sleep can seem like the most effortless and natural thing in the world, but when we can’t fall asleep it can quickly feel elusive and frustrating.
At the time I was diagnosed with bipolar, I had so little awareness of my body or stress levels that I literally had to be sobbing before I realized I was sad, or be awake for three nights running before I realized I was stressed and anxious. Learning to “hear” my body and mind has been a revelation for me, and a crucial part of my stability.
Ethical discipline is really a way of protecting yourself so that your efforts in spiritual practice can flourish without getting stomped to smithereens every other day, or every other year. The guidelines are fairly simple. There are ten that are enormously helpful in a general way. Bear in mind that they are all a protection for your own well-being, in solitude or in community...
When a habit forms, it indicates that the experience has been repeated a lot. When we call addictive behaviors “habits,” we mean the addict is doing drugs and engaging in drug-related activities so much, often to the exclusion of virtually everything else, that they become automatic.
It's time to start talking to our Self -- not our small self, but our Higher Self, the wise one, the one with the "higher" perspective on things. At first you may not know what the difference between the small self's voice and the Higher Self's voice. Here's some clues...
Allow yourself to feel, hear, know, see, taste, and sense the energy transfer that is happening in this moment. With your free will ask yourself this very important question, “Are you willing to experience more joy in your life?” This seems like the simplest of questions and...
Besides our worry thoughts about the future, there is another type of story we are telling ourselves which gives us a lot of anguish. These are the ‘if only’ stories: ‘If only he’d listen, I’d be happy. If only the sun was shining, I’d be happy. If only I had a little more money in the bank..."
A lot of people experience various degrees of depression and anxiety. Even in good times, an average of sixteen million new cases of depression occur in the United States every year, leading me to ask, What is really going on here? Some of the antidotes to depression...
You’re not being offered one side of life that seems better than its opposite. You learn the knack for living peacefully with both sides of life—divine and human, light and dark, high and low, winning and losing, succeeding and failing, loving and hating, order and chaos, happiness and sorrow.
Each of us is body, mind, and spirit, and of the three, it is our minds that can limit us. While the spirit is indeed most important, it’s our bodies that communicate messages from Source, because our bodies are solid, substantial forms that only relay truth. The more we listen to them, the better we accurately understand what’s happening in our lives.
Uncertainty in these times is the only certainty. That which has a beginning will end. In my own life, many years ago, a business decision to take on a partner nearly ended in disaster. Though fear and panic gripped my heart I knew that the only way to...
Have you ever been there — knocked to the ground by a traumatic event? Woken up one morning as someone you knew and in the midst of your busy day had it all suddenly change? In my case, I unexpectedly had joined the tribe of the traumatized — women facing cancer.
One of the most radical things a person can do is to see life as a good time. To make a decision to be happy. But make no mistake. Living life with joie de vivre is a revolutionary act. It takes vigilance. Few of us believe we get to choose. We think it's a matter of fate, a roll of the dice.
How can I tell you about the importance of feelings? It's like trying to tell you of the importance of the floorboards in your home. Most of the time we never really think about floorboards, but what if your home had none? There would be nothing to stand on. The same with feelings...
There are many life-paths you can choose, just as there are many ways you can serve on a planetary level. There is a path of will, a path of struggle, and a path of joy and compassion.
At first you may notice small, subtle alterations in your life and everything appearing to flow with ease. You may find that other people start to notice a difference in you. You may even find that situations that you have always hoped for turn up. Most importantly, you will notice...
Whenever you find yourself in a difficult or uncomfortable situation, think of three things that you’re glad about even in this unpleasant moment. They can be things that you’re glad are not happening or things that you’re glad are happening. Feel...
Writing in a journal is a way to discover the answers to your questions, to express yourself creatively, to find the voice of your soul, to strengthen your connection with your open heart, and to face your fears and overcome obstacles. Above all, it's a way to relax and explore...
Do certain people want more medical care than others do? And, does that matter?
A young woman had a suitor who loved her very much. The suitor came to her door clutching a bouquet of daisies to give her. "Where are my roses?" she demanded. Her suitor turned and went away. The next week he was back on her doorstep with another bunch of daisies...
Some therapists will use "dream interpretation" to help a patient understand himself, but understanding will not cure symptoms. Our goal is to find blocked memories and to cry. The more you cry, the more your mind will heal itself, and when the pain is gone, the understanding will take care of itself.
Our emotions are nothing more than an extension of the ego's opinions -- nothing more. For the most part, our emotions are theatrical manifestations of the ego's opinions. They are forms of manipulation. You have an opinion and you start cranking the emotion. So we live as prisoners of these opinions.
Everyday is April Fools' Day...it doesn't only occur on April 1st. Many of us are living daily the greatest April fools' of all... and we are it! We have been living our lives as a lie, pretending to be someone we're not. We are living our lives as if they belonged to someone or something else.
Storytelling is a key part of human culture. Where politics and power are concerned, stories become something not only to be told, but to be shaped and influenced
When you look at yourself through another’s perspective, you gain insights not normally available. When we are able to appreciate another’s actual experience, we don’t rely on our distorted projection of their motives; we go directly to the source...
What does Buddhism mean by non-attachment? Many people think the idea of detachment, non-attachment, or non-clinging is very cold. This is because they confuse attachment with love. But attachment isn’t genuine love — it’s just self-love.
Part of what I do as an archaeologist is judge between competing claims to truth. Indeed, you could say this is the entire purpose of science.
Every negative event or outburst (such as an episode of sarcasm, anger, rage, or abuse) will leave an energetic imprint in your home. If you do nothing about it, you’ll essentially be allowing negativity to accumulate in your home.
Unfortunately, life isn’t all sunshine and daisies. Here are some great thoughts from some great people for those times when life seems more like a kerfuffle with quicksand than a day at the beach.
If we want to manifest a change of heart and create a new practice, we become aware of the moment we give life to a judgment and be on the look-out for the triggers that make us judge. Paying attention to ourselves and getting to know ourselves...
Your happiness, or lack thereof, depends largely on your expectations. If you believe that only one person, job, home, or car can bring you happiness, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Even if you...
There are popular feelings: joy, happiness, love and affection, to name a few. And then there are unpopular feelings: anger, sadness, grief, hurt, and fear, among others. Most of us tend to hide the unpopular feelings and, instead, only feel and show the popular ones.
Ask yourself what is actually preventing you from being happy right now, right this very moment? If you are honest with yourself, you will probably say it's because you don't have what you want. This could be ...
Most survivors -- whether they've forgotten the abuse or not -- have deep anger which manifests itself in chronic health problems such as cancer, gynecological disorders, back or neck pain, migraines, hemorrhoids, heart palpitations, skin problems, insomnia, alcoholism, and obesity.
Can you feel the energies bumping up against you? One minute, you feel pushed; the next minute, pulled. One minute, you’re OK, and the next minute, you’re not. It’s chaotic out there. Our world is in flux; nothing feels normal anymore.
Most people don’t know that they need to protect themselves from negative energies around them. Most people on this planet do not even think in terms of ‘energy’ at all, which is strange, because everything on this planet is a form of energy, and we use these different forms of energy all the time!
People tend to throw around a lot of words to describe their emotions and feelings. We're confused or we feel frustrated. We're hurt or we're excited. Whatever the label, deciphering feelings from emotions can be a bit perplexing. If we start by learning the difference there are big rewards.
I consider myself an expert in recovering from emotional shocks. The past six years has been a long series of extremely difficult events that were accompanied by heavy emotional after-shock for me.
As someone who was once unhappy in every sense of the word, I can personally verify that misery leads to heartless behavior, and vice versa. For years I experienced failed relationships, financial struggles, poor health, depression, and an endless stream of...
I now live my life from joy instead of from fear. This is the one very simple difference between who I was before my near-death experience (NDE) and who I am today. Before, without even realizing it, everything I did was to avoid pain or to please other people...
Personality is a broad term describing how people habitually relate to the world and their inner self. After the developmental period through childhood and adolescence, these patterns of relating remain reasonably stable through life.
When your heart opens, you access your natural sense of confidence. It emerges when you embrace the moment fully — no matter what is happening. When you show up, available for life just as it is, you feel fully awake and alive.
What am I doing? is the most frequent question I ask as I let go of my most recent job and relationship. The answer always comes back the same: You are being true to yourself. You are living your Truth. This is crazy, I say to myself. No job, no security, saving good-bye to someone who loves me, whom I love.
What follows are some activities from which I draw for my personal faith and mindset practice. I don't do all of these things every day but, across the span of any given month, I endeavor to do some combination of these activities or disciplines regularly. The result? For me, greater clarity, less time feeling scattered
Philosophy has been a favorite whipping boy in the culture wars since 399 B.C., when an Athenian jury sentenced Socrates to death. Nowadays, philosophers are no longer accused of “corrupting the youth.”
A new study finds that early-career doctors—and the rest of us—can be better at our jobs if we simply set aside as little as 30 minutes a day for some “me time.”
One of the biggest things I've discovered working with clients everyday is how extremely difficult and challenging it is for most people today to know what is best for them to think, say and do in the various situations and relationships in their lives.
You may be in very churning times and situations in your experience. You may simply desire something more out of life—out of your self? This isn’t a time for facades, pretentious talk, and ego-mania. Such behavior will reveal...
Have you become a wet blanket, failing to acknowledge what's working or punishing others when they say or do things you don't like? If so you are unknowingly or knowingly creating alienation and insecurity in those around you. You are not spreading joy, love, or peace.
Every religious discipline teaches it. Every culture values it. Self-control or self-mastery is a key to power. "Though one should conquer a million men on the battlefield, yet he, indeed, is the noblest victor who has conquered himself."
Life’s challenges are universal and eventually will find us. Whether you're moving to a new city, leaving for college, or experiencing a divorce in your family, having life throw a major curve ball our way can leave us longing for the way things used to be.
It’s easy to like some people and it’s not very easy to like others. They don’t smile back! So it has to go deeper. If we continue to judge people on the basis of appearances and behavior, the endeavor is hopeless. Instead we have to return to a very simple truth...