Can You Come Out from Under the Influence of Others?

How Can You Come Out from Under the Influence of Others?

How very often our inner voice speaks to us and gives us an idea, a dream, or simple guidance. Like a little child it tugs at us over and over – first subtle and then not so subtle. However, when repeatedly ignored, what happens?

Usually an assortment of things. Gloom and doom clouds the view as we battle depressed feelings. Now why did that happen? It’s really quite simple. It happened because inner wisdom denied and stuffed hurts like hell. Sadly, it is the road to outer confusion that is paved by millions every day.

Advice: The Influence of Others

Next we run to others for advice, “What do you think?” And do they ever love to tell us. “Go left. Go right. Quit your job. Stay. Start a relationship. End a relationship. Go to therapy. Listen to me.”

If you were holding on to an inkling of wisdom from your inner guidance at one time, chances are by now you can’t remember what it was. If you are lucky enough to remember it, you have probably labeled it invalid, stupid and wrong. How silly of you to think for yourself. How silly of you to trust you.

Listening to ourselves has become increasingly more difficult in today’s high-speed chase to attain more. Our collective chant feverishly reverberates, “Be more, do more, achieve more, make more, take more, invest more.”

Something More or Something Different?

Take a minute to step aside from your personal “more list” into your quiet space and ask yourself, “Do you really want more of something or do you want something different?”

Do you want to continue working for someone else or would you like a business of your own? Are you happy being a nurse or would you rather own a boutique? Is a voice from your past making decisions for you? Does it belong to your dad, mom, spouse, boss, friend, or neighbor?

Just Be. Just Breathe.

For the next five minutes don’t even worry about analyzing the above for that is just one MORE thing you will have to do. Just breathe.

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Nothing else. You now have permission to just be. You don’t have to take care of business, kids, parents, personal traumas, city, state, national or international emergencies, pets, executive decisions or soccer teams.

Just breathe. That’s all. For five minutes. And you think that foreign policy is difficult.

O.K. You can now stop the deep breathing and go back to panting if you so choose. Oh, now there’s a concept - you have a choice. You do. You really do.

Following Our Passion

There is nothing wrong with doing, being useful and following our passion as long as it is ours. We become tired, irritable, confused and even physically sick when our quest for more is acted from an internal script written by anyone other than ourselves.

Hmm. And you thought “under the influence” referred to drugs and alcohol. There is just one simple requirement in order for you to experience peace of mind. You must operate from your mind - not others.

Considering that when we are born we immediately go under the influence of others, some of us could have quite a task in unearthing ourselves after just five years of living. Add on a few more years and media persuasion......well, you get my drift.

But trust me. Digging deep and weeding out waterlogged and outdated scripts penned by ghostwriters is not as difficult and scary as it seems. If you feel you’re too old to go dredging up ancient scripts - don’t worry. The expedition will prove to be quite safe and possibly add years to your life. At least the ones left will be genuinely yours.

How To Be Free of the Influence of Others

Coming Out from Under the Influence of OthersTo become free from the influence of others just be quiet. You must become still so you can hear your internal dialogue. Slow down, quiet yourself and listen.

Who is talking inside of you? You do not even have to name names. Is the voice constructive? Is it kind, helpful and supportive? Does it sound like your truth? Does it remind you that you are an innately good person who is wonderfully creative, intelligent and powerful - no matter who you are, where you’ve been or what you’ve done?

The Voice of Unconditional Love

The secret is that your true inner voice will always come from unconditional love. The power of constructive love is unconditional love that supports, encourages, uplifts, heals and trusts as opposed to conditional love that judges, criticizes, dictates, diminishes and belittles.

Isn’t it time to get out from under the influence of others and live your life? To be who you are and express it in the world is the most courageous and kindest act you can do for yourself and others.

Don’t whine, “But what if mom was right?” or, “How dare I disobey my father?” Throw guilt out the window with Uncle Fred and your boss. Too dramatic? Try ulcers, heart attacks and depression for high drama.

Listen to Your Inner Wisdom

If you never listen to your inner wisdom, how will you ever discover your needs and desires? How will you ever live your purpose, your passion?

Shh. Quiet. Are you in there? Silence the choir. They can’t sing your song anyway. This is your solo flight. What are you waiting for? Find your true voice and then raise the roof!

Reprinted with permission of the publisher, Wisteria Productions.

Article Source

This article was excerpted from the book: The Power of Constructive Love by Susan Ann Darley. The Power of Constructive Love
by Susan Ann Darley.

Click here for more info and/or to order this book.

About the Author

Susan Ann Darley, author of the article: Under The InfluenceSusan Ann Darley is the author of The Art of Becoming Visible, which offers practical marketing tools to artists and is a direct result of The Art of Becoming Visible classes she taught for five years. She is also the author of The Power of Constructive Love. She specializes in helping people use and market their talents through creativity coaching and writing and she also coaches businesses. She offers a complimentary coaching session by phone. For more information about Susan's services, visit her website at


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