How To Change Things in Three Simple Steps

Most of us find it difficult to change things. If you look at ordinary life and ordinary people, you will discover that they also find it very difficult to change things. Some people haven’t changed since they left school. At eighty years old they are still the same as when they left school.

Another curious phenomenon is that when you meet a person who knew you twenty years before, they still see you as you were twenty years ago. You have changed, but they do not perceive that change. For instance, a mother always looks upon a child as she did when she became fixated on the idea of that child — it could have been as a baby, as a small child or as a teenager.

Tradition: Still Waiting for the French Invasion?

Societies sometimes do things the same way for centuries. I never cease to be amused by traditions which have had no significance whatsoever for the past several hundred years. Apparently there is a guy at some point along the English coast, with very old-fashioned dress and old-fashioned binoculars, looking towards France, waiting for the French invasion.

Some centuries ago there was a rumour that the French navy was going to invade England, so they posted a sentry, and some guy is still looking with his binoculars for this invasion! This is what I mean about certain traditions which have absolutely no significance at all.

Why Is It Difficult To Change?

If you look at your own life, you will see many examples of traditions which have absolutely no relevance to modern day living. However, the idea is to look not into traditions, but into your thought-patterns.


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Thoughts may come either from your own mind or from outside of you. Very often, thoughts do come from the outside and you don’t even know they are not your own. Observe the source of your thoughts: are they from other people? — are they your own? Also, observe what effects they have on you, for every thought has an effect.

Where Do Your Thoughts Come From?

Not all of your thoughts are from the present moment. Some are retained from early childhood, from school, parents, relatives, environment, work place, newspapers, books, public opinion, television, films, your religious and political upbringing, and so on. Many of these thoughts have crystallized into belief systems, such as religious or political biases.

There are two kinds of thoughts in your mind:

1. The rigid, fixed thoughts of the past, stored for years and years, which have built up into strong impulses.

2. Little thoughts of the moment which just happen to come across your mind now, as a result of talking with people, and so on.

You cannot perceive all of your thoughts at once; you only perceive one thought at a time, so you already are limited by that thought. Since you can perceive only one thought at a time, you cannot see any total situation at any given time. This is the problem: right from the time you are born until the time you die.

How To Change in Three Simple Steps

How To Change Things in Three Simple StepsIn order to change, you must do the following:

1. You must first observe how things really are.

Things can change only when they have been observed, when you have become aware of the situation. People often say, “I can’t help it, this is the way I am!” This means they don’t see things clearly in their minds. They do not see how they are. They are not looking at something.

2. You must introduce an extra force.

If an irresistible force meets an immovable object, what will happen? Nothing! When a third force is introduced, another situation is created immediately and a definite change takes place. This third force, or mediator, can be another person or a different type of energy.

The reason why you cannot change is because all of your forces are used up maintaining your established habit-patterns. This is why you have been sitting around for forty years with nothing happening: you are using up all of your forces simply to maintain the already established patterns. Therefore, in order to change you need an external agency, a third force, a catalyst.

3. There is one more important lesson: if you really want to change, you have to accept the third force. The next trick of the established patterns is that even if you decide to accept a third force, you still won’t accept its input. Old, established habit-patterns are so deeply rooted they reject the new energy or guidance and you are still stuck with them. You haven’t changed at all!

Being Willing to Accept Change

There may be a situation where two people have a basic problem and go to a third person for help. The third person, being impartial, will see the way out. Yet one or both of the people will not accept that decision and the situation remains as it was because the third force wasn’t allowed to act.

This is why people do not change: first, they don’t see the need to change; secondly, even if they do see that need, they don’t invoke the third force; finally, even if they do invoke the third force, they don’t accept it into their system. So they are back where they started and nothing has happened.

The Laws of Change

If you feel that you haven’t been changing much in your life, then look at these three points. These are the Laws of Change:

1. Have you observed yourself? Have you observed your situation?

2. Have you introduced a third force?

3. If you did introduce a third force, did you obey it?

If you understand these principles, every aspect of your life will radically change. The law is there, but you have to apply it. It is up to you to apply the principle of change.

Reprinted with permission of the publisher:
Sounding-Light Publishing Ltd. www.soundinglight.com

©1990 by Imre Vallyon.


This article is adapted with permission from the book:

The Magical Mind: The Teachings of Imre Vallyon, Volume One
by Imre Vallyon.

This article was excerpted from the book: The Magical Mind by Imre Vallyon.Like the climber who stands a distance from a mountain to get a clear view, Imre Vallyon looks into the human psyche with an uncanny perspective. The Magical Mind reveals the workings of the human psyche from the point of view of Higher Consciousness. It will help readers change their lives toward the spirit; not through outward pressures, not through outer dictatorships, nor through dogma or the Church, but through the inner recognition of the Truth.

Click here for more info and/or to order this book.


About the Author

Imre Vallyon is the author of the article: The Real Spiritual PathImre Vallyon was born in Budapest, Hungary, in 1940. At the age of fifteen, he emigrated first to Austria and then to New Zealand. From an early age, Imre immersed himself in many spiritual streams of the Western and Eastern teachings. In the early 1980s, he began writing and lecturing full-time. He continues to teach at spiritual retreats and workshops around the world. Imre’s teaching is ancient yet immediate, intricate yet accessible. It encompasses the great religious and mystery traditions of history, yet is a response to the urgent spiritual thirst of Humanity today. The Foundation for Higher Learning was formed to help provide people with the opportunity to practise their spiritual work within the support of a group environment. There are centres in several countries around the world and retreat facilities in New Zealand. For more info, visit http://www.planetary-transformation.org/

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