Image by Gerd Altmann
Narrated by Marie T. Russell
Video version at the end of this article
Transformation can, among other things, be compared to a fire burning away what once was. These experiences of change are the ones that leave us with deeply etched memories.
It’s through traversing and coming out on the other side of hardship that we, and life itself, take on more value. In those intense moments we know we are alive. When we are stretched to our limits, the skin of our emotions metaphorically gives way, and we expand from within, reaching beyond and through what we have known.
In the still moments of our existence when all is calm, there is often a longing for the visceral, passionate experiences of life. This is where our intention deepens and takes on more urgency. What I am describing may be moments of sheer bliss and heightened ecstasy, or memory imprints when our life changed unexpectedly beyond our immediate control.
The effects of what happens to change the landscape of our life may take some time to settle out. In the meantime, we are left to find our way through new terrain without a map. We may be thrust into change, literally in an instant, and we are left to figure things out on our own without the comfort and safety of what was once familiar to us.
I’ve met many women in recent years who shared with me that, as teenagers, they either left home or were forced out of their childhood home. I am one of those women. As a result of enduring events that I wasn’t prepared for, I struggled for many years to find inner stability and to know my own value and worth. Situation after situation mirrored an aspect of traumatic losses that I incurred in adolescence, which affected my self-esteem and confidence.
Looking Back with Gratefulness
As I look back now to that time in my life, I am grateful. Being stretched beyond my edges at a young age inspired me to eventually embrace my capacity to love deeply and unconditionally. I became resilient, and though I did not know it at that time, I also received profound lessons in forgiveness that were yet to unfold.
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I was forced to grow up quickly in my childhood without the necessary self-care tools and coping skills. As a thirteen-year-old I turned to alcohol and drugs to cope with feelings of abandonment, fear, and loneliness. I assumed some adult responsibilities for my two younger siblings as my parents were going through their divorce. As an adult looking back on all this, I now know that my parents themselves must have been in a terrible place. They simply didn’t have the skills to prioritize us then as they uncoupled.
I have come to understand that my parents were themselves wounded individuals who did the best that they knew how to do at the time. My heart is full of love and empathy for them now. My siblings and I have each had to come to terms with being responsible for our own recovery, and in our own way.
For me to fully heal, I discovered that I needed to flip my old self-damaging script by becoming a healing channel as an intuitive psychotherapist, artist, inventor, podcaster, and author. I have needed to share my vulnerabilities in order to heal through them. To restore myself to wholeness and reclaim my power, I have needed to speak my truth aloud and be witnessed. I’ve seen this process ring true for many others whom I know personally and have worked with professionally, and as a result, I encourage you to work hard to find your own voice.
Sharing Our Story & Growing Stronger in Broken Places
By sharing our story with those who care to listen and be with us as we mend, I believe that we grow stronger in our broken places. With truly empathetic listening and the willingness to temporarily suspend our judgments, I know that we can encourage those we cross paths with to achieve their greatest potential.
It took me a number of years to understand that I had to be willing to assume responsibility for healing myself from the core wounds that left me feeling unworthy, undeserving, and depressed.
I reenacted my wounds for many years, attracting people who triggered them, therefore reinforcing and supporting my limiting beliefs that were emblazoned with the message, “See how unworthy and unlovable you are?” Because of my unhealed psychoastrology, which stemmed from my core wounds, I developed a false belief that I was unwanted, lacked value, and was therefore disposable.
I am certain that some of you reading these words can relate to creating your life by default patterning, due to unhealed core wounding, resulting in a negative sense of your value, worth, and innate lovability. We have been told in greeting cards, memes, and talk shows that “time heals all wounds.”
However, it is not time simply passing that, in and of itself, heals us. It is what we do with our time as it passes that can heal us. If we embrace the need for transformation and strive to attain it, I know we can reach a place of inner peace from the deepest of wounds.
Leaning in to my inner wisdom to find the silver lining of my own core wounding was a blessing and a gift that has taught me extraordinary principles about unconditional love and forgiveness. My parents and I have made amends, having had a number of necessary conversations over the years, and today we enjoy our shared time with each other.
I was able to progressively forgive them once I could see Chiron’s core wounding in them. As I’ve said, they too were suffering, and in need of their own self-forgiveness, empathy, and love. I’m blessed to be able to write this knowing that they will read it and understand my need to share it with you.
Transforming Your Own Story of Disempowerment
I’d like you to take a moment right now to get in touch with your own story of disempowerment resulting from your core wounding. Was it a particularly powerful life-changing moment you remember that may still cause you blame or shame? Settle in to that memory, and identify the experience that caused you to believe something untrue about yourself.
Please know that this false story you have told yourself about yourself can be transformed. You can grow through your past and become your best self, if you allow those sharp edges of experience to carve you into a person of love, compassion, forgiveness, and joy.
What life skills have you gleaned from your core wounding? I’ve become adaptive, I have developed inner strength, and I am resourceful and authentic. These qualities afford me the clarity to skillfully counsel others to identify and embrace solution-focused outcomes during times of crisis and uncertainty.
We can learn to connect to our inner compass and confidence once we decide to heal our psychoastrology. You can do anything you put your full energy and resources toward. Do not waver from becoming the person you want to be. You can transform your core wounds and find happiness; you can recreate your life. We hold that power, and we must cherish and develop that inner capacity.
Coming to a Decision-Making Crossroads
As human beings we tend to favor the status quo, not varying too far out of our predictable range and routine of experiences (our habitual orbiting patterns), lest we experience discomfort, anxiety, fear, uncertainty, or even panic.
It is at this decision-making crossroads that we are free to choose what to do. Do we uncomfortably expand, being willing to go through the natural anxiety and fear, or do we contract into what is known? It is your choice to say yes or no to yourself, to your healing, to your happiness, and to the manifestation of your goals and your dreams.
I came to a crossroad and decided that I wanted the love within me to be greater than the hurt within me. I decided to permit myself to step fully into my power and inner beauty. You too must give yourself permission to enable what you really want.
Healing Our Core Wounds
We wear masks and personas to conceal our pain and our disappointment in order to fit in. Writing this book over the last three and a half years has been a difficult journey emotionally. I realized that the experience of feeling disconnected is one of the permeating effects of our core wounding, as is separation, isolation, and self-doubt.
Let’s face it—these core wounds are hard for us to even think about. However, left buried, our unhealed wounds obscure our clarity, separate us from our joy, and prevent us from being fully present in our lives. It’s as if we lost a portion of our soul when we were wounded, and then we retrieve those parts through a healing process that is inspired by the act of empathetically forgiving ourselves.
My hope is that by sharing some of my story, you will likewise have the courage to transparently share yours, and this healing circle of being witnessed and witnessing will facilitate a change of consciousness one conversation at a time.
Let’s give ourselves permission to heal. Allow yourself to experience satisfaction and contentment through a consistent flow of receiving. Close the door to feeling unworthy, undeserving, and not good enough. Choose instead to internalize that “I am valuable, I am worthy, and I am loved unconditionally.” You are in the perfect body to carry your soul and Spirit, you have the perfect mind to speak your thoughts, and you are living in the best place to have an influence. You are right where you need to be.
Sometimes when we begin to heal the psychoastrology of our core wounds and ask for an improvement in a current situation, the method of delivery may be disruptive and sent through unexpected experiences. We may find ourselves escorted to both the edges of our emotional fortitude and the limits of our current coping skills.
This is because the minor planet of Chiron is mediated by Saturn—the planet of restriction, boundaries, and hard work—and by Uranus, the planet of unexpected and unforeseen changes. Saturn and Uranus apply the pressure needed to afford us the opportunity to choose whether we will allow Chiron’s core wounds to transform us into a more conscious and evolved version of ourselves. Or do we choose to continue wounding others and hurting ourselves by being unconscious? There is a breakthrough nearby when we feel this tension, so hang on and be aware.
Finding Our Way, Our Meaning, Our Purpose
Some of us may turn to spirituality or angelic guides to help us find our way, our meaning, and our purpose. Others subscribe to randomness and chaos, and a shit-just-happens mentality. Still others believe in retribution from a god who is angry and judgmental, ready to punish at the slightest infraction.
I wrote this journal entry as a prayer and declaration to the universe on behalf of those who are still suffering, that they may find peace:
It does get better when the sun rises in your own heart.
The grass will appear green again.
Flowers will bloom in color, and you’ll feel the blue sky on your skin.
You will notice the wind at your back, not blowing sharply in your face anymore.
The gray tone that once washed over your life gives way to color, sound, taste, smell, and texture.
The ashes you rise from become fertile soil in which you lovingly plant the truth of who you now are. You become the most beautiful garden, blooming authentically.
This is yours to create.
May it be so, Amen.
Our personal fulfillment is found by living both on the horizontal axis of physical existence in connection to others on Earth and through the vertical axis of spiritual existence in connection to that which is greater (the immaterial). It is true power to stand in a place of compassionate self-acceptance while leaning in to life’s sharp edges with curiosity. I encourage you to be the loving presence you want to experience. We are in this together, and I am with you.
©2020 by Lisa Tahir. All Rights Reserved.
Reprinted with permission of the publisher.
Bear and Company, an imprint of: www.InnerTraditions.com
The Chiron Effect: Healing Our Core Wounds through Astrology, Empathy, and Self-Forgiveness
by Lisa Tahir, LCSW
A guide to using astrology to identify your core wounds and heal them using psychological techniques, affirmations, and self-compassion. As Lisa Tahir reveals, once identified, your personal Chiron placement can become the source of your greatest healing and empowerment. By recognizing your core wounding and learning to offer yourself empathy and forgiveness, you can finally break free from suffering, end self-sabotage, and allow your life to unfold in a new way.
About the Author
Lisa Tahir, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker. She is certified in EMDR Level I, in Reiki Level II, and as a thought coach through the Institute for Transformational Thinking. she has been the host of the weekly podcast All Things Therapy on LA Talk Radio since 2016. Visit her website at www.nolatherapy.com