Are You Waiting for Someone or Something to Rescue You?

Are You Waiting for Someone or Something?

I remember as a child, during the long and very cold winters up North, standing at the window for what seemed like hours. I would stand there staring at the cold snow with my ongoing thought being, "It's so boring here!" I felt sorry for myself and spent my time at the window waiting... Waiting for what? Possibly for something to happen, for some occurrence that would somehow give me a life that was full of excitement and fun.

When I look back at the child that I was, I see that my problem was not the cold weather... it was my attitude towards it. Rather than find creative ways to spend the time, I spent that time complaining about something I could not change. Rather than do something that would help me enjoy the cold days, I spent them as if I was helpless to create a better day for myself. 

Waiting To Be Rescued?

This pattern I have seen repeated both in myself and in others around me. Maybe we could call it the sleeping beauty/frog prince complex. It consists of waiting for something or someone to deliver us from whatever situation we have gotten ourselves into. We even pray "deliver us from evil"... again expecting to be rescued from whatever mess we have created.

Look at your life and see if this behavior applies to you as well. Do you find yourself bemoaning your present situation (job, relationship, living situation, etc.) without doing anything about it? Are you waiting for your fairy godmother to deliver you? or possibly for God (or a knight) to come charging in on a white steed? or Jesus or some extraterrestrials to come down from above?

It seems that we humans have a tendency to look around ourselves and lay the responsibility for the occurrences in our lives on someone else. That looks something like this: If we have problems at home or at work, it's the other person's fault. We easily say that it's because of the other person's behavior (or the weather) that we are unhappy. Sometimes we even look further to lay blame. We look into our past and find fault with our upbringing, previous relationships, religion, etc. It's all THEIR fault!

Rather than take responsibility for things not being quite the way we want them, it seems easier to look around and find scapegoats. This usually tends to be people close to us: co-workers, husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend, neighbors, our family, etc. 

It's Not My Fault... It's Because of Them...

The problem with that outlook is that if your situation is someone else's fault then the solution must also be in their hands. Whereas, if you take responsibility for your own "stuff" then at least you have the option of changing it. Of course, with a metaphysical perspective, we know that we are the ones responsible... no one else. Yet somehow, when we get caught up in the nitty-gritty of our existence, we sometimes fail to remember that we are in charge.


 Get The Latest By Email

Weekly Magazine Daily Inspiration

At those times, we may fall back on blame. If we have a problem with others, it's because they are not in tune... not because we lack understanding, patience, and compassion. If we get treated harshly in the world, it's because 'those other people' are bitchy and negative... not us. If we get into an accident or collision (whether physical or emotional), it's not us who is at fault...of course not! It's THEM!

When we get caught up in our stuff, we tend to overlook all our metaphysical lessons and conveniently forget that we create our own reality. Do we do this because we know that if we admit that we are responsible, we'll have to look at our life and see what changes we need to make in our thoughts, in our attitudes, in our expectations, in our actions? There is no one out there to blame! We are the ones that need to stand up and say "I did it! I created this! I'm responsible!"

Taking Responsibility Means You Can Change Things

Once you admit that you are the one responsible for creating the mess, then and only then, can you change it. How can you change something if you have nothing to do with it? Admit it! You are the only one who can change your own life. Got it? Great! Now you can start doing something about it.

Let's start by looking at what we are expecting to happen in our life. Not what we want, not what we would love, but what we expect. That is what really counts.

It's amazing what that little voice inside, the doubting Thomas, can prevent us from having. There is a part of our mind that believes all the metaphysical principles. We dutifully repeat affirmations. We strive to think positively and to cancel the negative thoughts. We visualize our dreams coming true, yet if somewhere inside there is a part of us that does not really expect it, then we've cheated ourselves out of success.

We really need to be the guardians of our thoughts and subconscious beliefs. We need to take a stand and say, "I'm the boss of my mind and my body. I decide what goes on here!" And then, be constantly on the alert for any undermining responses that may be coming from the subconscious or conscious mind.

The beliefs that we have made our own are many. The programs we accepted are numerous. Yet, we are in charge of our body and mind. We need to be clear about what we choose to have and what we accept and expect in our life.

We all have a creative aspect of ourselves which resides within and expresses itself as a quiet voice. Maybe if we weren't so busy complaining and blaming, we would hear what that voice has to say. It has millions of fun, creative solutions to whatever ails us. Listen in and then you can choose your next step!

Related Book:

A Lamp in the Darkness: Illuminating the Path Through Difficult Times
by Jack Kornfield.

A Lamp in the Darkness: Illuminating the Path Through Difficult Times by Jack Kornfield.The practices in this book are not positive thinking, quick fixes, or simplistic self-help strategies. They are powerful tools for doing "the work of the soul" to access our inner knowing and to embrace the fullness of our life experience. With regular practice, these teachings and meditations enable you to transform your difficulties into a guiding light for the journey ahead. Just as it is certain that each life will include suffering, explains Kornfield, it is also true that in every moment there is the possibility of transcending your difficulties to discover the heart's eternal freedom. With A Lamp in the Darkness, he offers you a beacon for yourself and others until joy returns again. Foreword by Jon Kabat-Zinn.

Click here for more info and/or to order this book. Also available as a Kindle edition.

About The Author

Marie T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from 1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal growth, and well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own inner source of joy and creativity.

Creative Commons 3.0: This article is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 License. Attribute the author: Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf.com. Link back to the article: This article originally appeared on InnerSelf.com

More Articles By This Author

You May Also Like

AVAILABLE LANGUAGES

enafarzh-CNzh-TWnltlfifrdehiiditjakomsnofaptruessvtrvi

follow InnerSelf on

facebook icontwitter iconyoutube iconinstagram iconpintrest iconrss icon

 Get The Latest By Email

Weekly Magazine Daily Inspiration

Marie T. Russell's Daily Inspiration

INNERSELF VOICES

What Does Our Authority Rest Upon?
Transitioning from Authoritarian "Outer" Authority to Spiritual "Inner" Authority
by Pierre Pradervand
For thousands of years, ever since mankind started settling in cities, we evolved in rigid,…
The Birthing of A New World Which Is Struggling to be Born
The Birthing of A New World Which Is Struggling to be Born
by Ervin Laszlo
Talk of fundamental change in the world around us is often met with skepticism. Change in society,…
Win the Battle In Your Head: Perspective Matters
Win the Battle In Your Head: Perspective Matters
by Peter Ruppert
We all experience positive and negative self-talk on a regular basis. Whether you realize it or…
Horoscope Current Week: April 19 - 25, 2021
Horoscope Current Week: April 19 - 25, 2021
by Pam Younghans
This weekly astrological journal is based on planetary influences, and offers perspectives and…
If You’ve Contracted COVID: Healing and Moving Forward
If You’ve Contracted COVID: Healing and Moving Forward
by Stacee L. Reicherzer PhD
If you’ve contracted COVID, you not only had health problems that may have been life-threatening,…
Awakening to the Dream of the Earth and Loving the World
Awakening to the Dream of the Earth and Loving the World
by Bill Plotkin, Ph.D.
The most important question is not how to survive biodiversity loss, climate disruption, ecological…
4 Ways to Build Your Tolerance of Ambiguity—and Your Global Career 
4 Ways to Build Your Tolerance of Ambiguity—and Your Global Career
by Paula Caligiuri, Ph.D.
Even if your tolerance of ambiguity is lower, there are proven ways to build this important…
How To Use Family Stories To Build Young People's Resilience
How To Use Family Stories To Build Young People's Resilience
by Mary J. Cronin, Ph.D.
One approach that addresses the challenges families face today comes down to a familiar but often…

MOST READ

Is Your Bedroom Sacred?
Is Your Bedroom Sacred? Honoring Your Personal Sanctuary
by Jon Robertson
The bedroom is home to our prayers and dreams, our solitude and sexuality. In this inner sanctum,…
Age of Pisces to Age of Aquarius
Transitioning from the Age of Pisces to the Age of Aquarius
by Ray Grasse
The Age of Aries brought an awakening of the outwardly directed ego, but the more feminine Piscean…
4 Ways to Build Your Tolerance of Ambiguity—and Your Global Career 
4 Ways to Build Your Tolerance of Ambiguity—and Your Global Career
by Paula Caligiuri, Ph.D.
Even if your tolerance of ambiguity is lower, there are proven ways to build this important…
3 Ways Music Educators Can Help Students With Autism Develop Their Emotions
3 Ways Music Educators Can Help Students With Autism Develop Their Emotions
by Dawn R. Mitchell White, University of South Florida
Many children with autism struggle to find the words to express how they feel. But when it comes to…
Domestic Violence: Calls For Help Have Increased – But The Answers Haven't Gotten Any Easier
Domestic Violence: Calls For Help Have Increased – But The Answers Haven't Gotten Any Easier
by Tara N. Richards and Justin Nix, University of Nebraska Omaha
Experts expected the increase in domestic violence victims seeking help last year (2020). Victims…
At What Age Are People Usually Happiest? New Research Offers Surprising Clues
At What Age Are People Usually Happiest? New Research Offers Surprising Clues
by Clare Mehta, Emmanuel College
If you could be one age for the rest of your life, what would it be? Would you choose to be nine…
Viking DNA And The Pitfalls Of Genetic Ancestry Tests
Viking DNA and The Pitfalls of Genetic Ancestry Tests
by Anna Källén, Stockholm University and Daniel Strand, Uppsala University
According to recent estimates, over 26 million people from across the world have purchased a…
How Reactivating Traumatic Memories Could Reduce Their Impact
How Reactivating Traumatic Memories Could Reduce Their Impact
by Caitlin Clark, Texas AM
Researchers could be a step closer to finding a way to reduce the impact of traumatic memories,…

New Attitudes - New Possibilities

InnerSelf.comClimateImpactNews.com | InnerPower.net
MightyNatural.com | WholisticPolitics.com
Copyright ©1985 - 2021 InnerSelf Publications. All Rights Reserved.