When we perceive from the fragmented mind, we push life away. When we drop into the healed heart, our soul expands...we leave the false emptiness of separation and the tail-chasing, fortune cookie, nonspeak and enter the full and juicy alive-messy-perfect presence of the Whole...the Everything. The I AM. Unity. Inclusiveness. Absence, presence, lack, fulfillment, desire, contentment. All coexist in harmony.
Embracing and rejecting dance together. Now. And now. Our heart beats Yes. And yes. Yes, yes. And ever and always yes.
Choose Your Yesses
There was a point in my journey, after my suicide attempt and subsequent hospitalization (all covered in Lipstick and Thongs in the Loony Bin: A Memoir), where I contemplated fighting against Big Pharma. Against mental illness. Against suicide. Against bullying. But I realized very quickly that “NO!” would get me nowhere fast.
I decided to be Pro happiness. Pro Wellness. Pro Wholeness. Pro living my best life. Pro love. That was when I won the invisible battles in my head. When I realized there was no enemy outside me. Ever. That’s what a true love warrior does. They stop fighting unwinnable wars. They stop creating enemies. They start communicating. Befriending. Allowing. Embracing. Because the other way is slow torture and completely ineffective energetically. It will keep you sick, sad, perpetually pissed off, victimized and stuck. But when you follow your YES, all the way INWARD: Peace. Passion. Wholeness.
I hear people say they are trying to be “more positive” and “less negative” all the time. I get it. I used to think and feel that way. We aren’t batteries, though. Magnets, yup. It wasn’t until I stopped worrying about it or trying to force or police my thoughts or feelings that it became more natural. And then I even stopped labeling things, feelings, situations or people as negative, toxic or life experiences as drama. That was another step.
I just started being more tender with my sorrow. Another step. More patient with my anger. Another step. More understanding of my judgmental stuff. Another step. Sometimes I regress. Forget. Slip. And that’s when the compassion tests really kick in.
I don’t care so much about reaching for positivity or avoiding negativity anymore. But I do prefer to feel good. I do absolutely know the unparalleled power of conscious languaging and aligned intention. Reframing. Recalibrating. To uplift. To inspire. To connect in deeper ways. To have juicy, honest intimacy. So I keep following the energy. I keep trusting. And stumbling. And getting stronger and more gentle. Because now I just reach for Wholeness. And it’s very liberating. It really is.
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Learn Your Nos
I know my NOs now, too. They are powerfully clear.
NO more people-pleasing for the sake of approval. (Sovereign service is different...meaningful contribution + creative expression = win/win scenarios.)
NO more intellectual debates (juicy dialoguing: YES). NO Devil’s Advocate mind games
NO to emotionally unavailable men
NO to being bullied by anyone, for any reason; not even myself.
NO to hate (YES TO LOVE)
NO to cynicism (YES TO OPTIMISM AND ENTHUSIASM)
And there’s a whole bunch of others that include but are not limited to: burnout, indifference, smugness, mean-spirited name calling, stilettos, most of reality TV...except the Kardashians...(don’t judge, Khloe kicks ass), and no to death metal—seriously, my ears bleed).
But now I make sure that my nos have counter yeses...and I focus my energies in that direction.
Own Your Wisdom
I know it’s popular in a lot of spiritual circles to say that we don’t or can’t truly ever “know” anything. I call BULLSHIT. I think this is the worst form of arrogance there could possibly ever be. Like we are all walking around brazenly ignorant and unconsciously lost. No. Just no. You know stuff. You know lots of amazing things that add up to incredible multiversal truths.
Cherish your knowings. Honor them. This doesn’t deny the mystery. It enhances it. It isn’t humility to deny your inner core wisdom. To diminish or brush aside your connection to Divinity. Celebrate your clarity. Know that who you are is love. Where you are going is guided by love.
Sure there will be detours. Distractions. Know that your knowings may change, and that’s ok, too. Embrace that your knowings may crash into other people’s knowings. Also OK. But don’t hide behind this doublespeak lingo of “uncertainty.” You know what you know. And it’s OK to admit it.
You know who you are and who you are not. You know this essence of love in human form is about more than identity or labels or programs or stories. You know. Remember. Let yourself know what you know. It’s still always going to be a Great Mystery.
The way to the now is through the heart. The way out of the now is through the mind. We jump in and out of these soul centers all day long. We’re supposed to. We can remember more and more how to embrace a heart-centered/guided life, but we translate life through the higher mind and through our senses. Harmony is moving amongst these energies with ease and flow and not fighting ourselves so much. When they work together? Harmony.
It’s not arrogance to admit you know stuff. And it’s not always humility to admit you don’t. Staying curious and open is the way to navigate these knowings and wonderings. Being willing to be both right AND wrong. And more than either of those? HAPPY.
Are You Suffering Over Your Suffering?
I had a spiritual mentor once. She asked me a very provocative/disturbing/frustrating question...she said,
“So, Courtney...are you truly suffering or are you suffering over your suffering?”
I had no idea what she meant but that was all she gave me. It took me years to understand it. I think she was asking, “How attached are you to this version of yourself? The sad version? The one who pushes people away? The one who hates herself? Are you willing to FEEL whatever it is that’s under the story so it can fly free like a bird? Or are you practicing this story, over and over so you can justify not accepting or changing your life?”
Tough question. Huge question. I suppose it is entirely possible she was a genius/master/guru/oracle/shaman/witch...OR that she read it in a fortune cookie. Either way, that is a question I revisit sometimes. And it always makes me itchy at first. But then? It makes me breathe deeply and let the birdfeelings flutter. Because I knew what she meant. I just knew. I was deeply and genuinely humbled.
Emotions are Love’s GPS
The best definition I ever heard of humility is being fully soft, open and available to ALL of your feelings. All. Of. Them. Emotions are Love’s GPS.
It’s actually prideful to go around trying to be humble or telling other people to be humble or to be kind or compassionate or to be more loving. That’s truly the height of shaming arrogance to judge or try to manage/improve emotions without actually FEELING them.
Our feelings are holy. All of them. There isn’t one that is ugly, bad, dirty or shameful. Rejecting or repressing them will make you ill. Feeling/expressing them (in safe ways) will keep you well. Projecting them at others causes chaos. It happens all the time in looping patterns...until we agree to become humble to our OWN emotions.
To be willing to feel is to move out of suffering. And into our full range of feelings and the information they hold. Until we do that, we are unconscious slaves. When we start, we become free.
Feel It All
Somewhere along the way we were taught not to feel. There is nothing more ludicrous. Nothing more dangerous. Absolutely nothing more damaging. We became avid philosophers and thinkers and tried desperately not to FEEL. We engaged in master debates. We read fancy-ancient, dry-dusty, heart-rusty holy books. We quoted dead smart people. We ate and drank, drugged, medicated, shopped and fucked our way away from feelings. We let them out of their cages only on special occasions.
We forgot the art of true intimacy. The dance of real connection. How to make love with our whole souls. We were desperately afraid to be seen as crazy or out of control or intellectually inferior.
It is the greatest and most insidious tragedy of our time. But then...transparency came. Indigo warriors came and became radical truth-tellers. And therapy became not just about addressing psychological issues but also holistic and energetic.
We are still on the cusp of this changeover, really. Still new at it. But this feeling thing? I swear on all those damned books, holy or not...it is the ONLY way to total freedom. The only real, lasting and deep way.
Emotional awareness is a huge part of our evolutionary consciousness leap forward. If we don’t know how we feel, or why we feel the way we do...we will stay stuck, spinning our wheels in mind-murky mud...running from ourselves and others. But when we can embrace and integrate all the parts of us our Debbie Downer shadow to our Pollyanna shine and everyone in between, we can begin to live a fuller life. A whole life. We can even find joy in our fears and sorrows. We can find peace in our rage.
When we accept and begin to CELEBRATE the fact that we are FEELING beings, the world will change in miraculous ways. Disease will ease. Prosperity will flow. Intimacy will flourish. Community will nourish us rather than drain. The naysayers and the yaysayers will learn vast and deep new levels of love and communion.
Who We Truly Are
This isn’t just some utopic or airyfairy version of where we are headed. It’s who we truly are. NOWologists. Presence Pioneers of wondrous wholeness. Love luminaries. We are moving from reality facers to reality creators. It happens when we start looking at, feeling and expressing our emotions. It may feel awkward at first. It’s OK. We’re new to this.
Be open and ready to unlearn and reweave a whole new way of being. And role model it. Will it be neat and tidy? Pretty and perfect? HELL to the NO. But will it be transcendent, awe-inspiring and outrageously empowering? YURP.
©2016 by Courtney A. Walsh. All Rights Reserved.
Reprinted with permission of the publisher,
Findhorn Press. www.findhornpress.com.
Dear Human: A Manifesto of Love, Invitation and Invocation to Humanity
by Courtney A. Walsh.
About the Author
Courtney A. Walsh has been a professional writer/editor/author/inspirational speaker for fifteen years. With an extensive background in marketing, advertising, creative writing, film, cultural studies, and languages, Courtney has worked with the United States National Park Service to review, research and co-write a technical report on the origins of the Statue of Liberty. Other accomplishments include a project for MTV (Music Television) and publishing several feature op-ed articles as a contributing writer for The Portsmouth Herald. She has created a successful career as a blogger, social media figure and professional speaker.