Failure is a four-letter word. We cringe at the thought of it. The fear of it holds us back from pursuing our biggest dreams, but here’s the thing: there’s no such thing as failure. Life is not a game we are playing to win. Life just is, and what we choose to do with it is our business.
We must get the obligation out of life. In order to do this, we have to unlearn one thing. This “thing” has plagued us for centuries. It has victimized us, confused us and sent us down countless rabbit holes. So I’m going to put an end to it: there is no purpose to life.
There Is No Purpose To Life
You are free. There are no obligations to fulfill. You don’t have to be a good person. You won’t be eternally condemned for being a “bad” person.
The notion of purpose begins with a judgmental God that is always watching. Over the years, many of us have rejected this notion. We prefer to put our faith in a loving God.
Some of us take it one step further. We have understood that there is no “God.” There is pure consciousness or divine mind. This consciousness is the powerful and intelligent energy that we call our “maker,” and it has no agenda. It simply expresses, and this expression takes the form of everything you see around you, including you. It does not know judgment or condemnation. It simply experiences and accepts.
So, you are not in the hot seat. There is no ultimate goal, and there is no one to satisfy. Thus: no purpose (and no failure).
Liberating or Terrifying?
I think this is very liberating, but many people find it terrifying. Think about it, though. The only time we search for purpose – or meaning - is when we are suffering. When we are happy and having fun, we don’t stop to think, “What is the meaning of this?” Who cares? It’s fun!
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Unfortunately, we haven’t figured out how not to suffer. It may not be a deep, traumatic suffering, but we feel a longing. We feel incomplete and unsatisfied with our lives because we have not embraced the entirety of our being. We are unaware of our true nature. So, we begin to ask ourselves what is the point of being here?
Facing Your Demons
If you must have meaning in your life, if you need a purpose, let it be to reconnect on a conscious level with your God-self. Remember who you are. You are an expression of infinitely intelligent consciousness. Even if you have forgotten, this energy is inseparable from you. It is the very fabric of your being. You can embrace this, your true identity, and lead a wonderful and fulfilling life, free from the fear of failure. The caveat is that in order to do this you need to face your demons.
Demons are pieces of ourselves we have pushed away because of anger, fear, guilt or sadness. They are formed through our interpretations of events. As children, when we feel ashamed or when someone hurts us, we cannot manage the situation maturely. So we tuck that bad feeling away and look for external cues to direct us towards “appropriate” behavior.
As we grow older, that shame or hurt remains with us, and we find even better ways to avoid those unpleasant feelings. Eventually, we forget those feelings ever existed, and we go through life in a state of unconscious resistance, all the while wondering why we suffer.
Learning to Accept Everything About Ourselves
We cannot reconnect to the God-self if we remain in this state. We must transcend it, and learn to accept everything about ourselves. When we do, we will experience our “failures” and “successes” as experiences and nothing more. We cannot fail if we do not judge.
What’s more, our focus will shift away from our personalities. After all, the personality is the thing we project into the world to attract praise and acceptance. If we fully accept ourselves, we will no longer place such a high value on others’ opinions. Instead, we will be free to focus on another aspect of ourselves: the God-self.
Finding the Courage to Look Within
I recently taught a workshop where one of the students had an enlightening experience. She had had a traumatic event as a child. A person she loved was in danger and asked her to go get help. She was very young and didn’t know what to do. Frozen in fear, she did nothing; and she felt terrible guilt as a result.
In her young mind, she was selfish. Now, this student was such a giving person. Everyone thought of her as kind and generous. However, we were doing an exercise that involved thinking of someone who aggravates you and then exploring the ways in which you express these aggravating qualities. Well, the first quality on this student’s list was selfishness, and she could not understand it. She told me that she was always the most giving person. She was never selfish.
I had her close her eyes and see herself in a situation where she was giving. She did so, and I asked her what she was feeling in that situation. Not surprisingly, she was not feeling good. I asked her to think of the first time she felt this way, and that’s when we arrived at the story of her as a young girl.
The amazing thing about this story is that the student didn’t know she felt that way about herself. Her belief that she was selfish was like a demon deep within her driving her to give and give until she had nothing left. Until that moment she had avoided this demon, but when she found the courage to look within, what she found was not a demon at all, but a beautiful little girl who was calling out for her love and appreciation. It was a wonderful healing.
The Greatest Adventure of Your Life
So, our “demons” are simply pieces of ourselves that are calling out to us, but they use the language of shame, fear and guilt to get our attention. Thus, we rarely stop to listen. Instead, we cope with those feelings by cultivating a wonderful personality, by seeking praise and recognition, and by creating a storyline that implies purpose and thus failure if we do not fulfill that purpose.
Rather than walking this unfulfilling and exhausting path, why not try going within? Do not seek success. Seek knowing. Know yourself. Listen to your “demons.” Uncover your faulty belief systems and let them go. Reunite with your true self. This could be the greatest adventure of your life. God is waiting.
* Subtitles by InnerSelf.
©2014 by Sara Chetkin. All Rights Reserved.
Reprinted with permission. Publisher: Rainbow Ridge Books.
Article written by the author of:
The Healing Curve: A Catalyst to Consciousness
by Sara Chetkin.
About the Author
Sara Chetkin was born in Key West, Fl in 1979. When she was 15 she was diagnosed with severe scoliosis, and spent much of the next 15 years traveling around the world seeking healing and spiritual insight. These travels and explorations are the basis for her first book, The Healing Curve. Sara graduated from Skidmore College in 2001 with a Bachelor of Arts in Anthropology. In 2007 she earned a Master of Science in Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine from the New England School of Acupuncture. She is a Rohun therapist and an ordained minister with the Church of Wisdom, Delphi University. Visit her at thehealingcurvebook.com/
Watch a video/interview with Sara: Journey Along the Healing Curve