When You Can't Seem to Reach Your Goal: Get Going — Or Let Go?!

When You Can't Seem to Reach Your Goal: Get Going — Or Let Go?!

It’s painful to find yourself seriously stuck. Despite doing all the right things, inexplicably you’re unable to reach a long-held goal, whether it’s in your career, your relationships, your finances, your creative life, your health, or your personal growth.

How To Step Back and Maintain a Larger Perspective

How To Step Back and Maintain a Larger Perspective

When we obsessively focus on something that is, or isn't, within our control, it can feel like we're carrying a giant boulder on our backs. Instead, we need to treat that one aspect of our lives as small rocks in our pocket so we can...

Blissful Innocence: Ignorance Is Bliss

Blissful Innocence: Ignorance Is Bliss

We have heard that "ignorance is bliss," and we usually judge and criticize ignorant people. Yet there is a form of ignorance that serves us well, and that is ignorance of limiting beliefs. A Calvin and Hobbes cartoon declared, "It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept."

Where A Tattoo Is Located Makes A Difference Energetically

Where A Tattoo Is Located Makes A Difference Energetically

Tattoos are something you are going to wear and stare at for a long time. Once you decide to get a tattoo, it’s a good idea to familiarize yourself with the body’s energy zones and how they interlock together as one consciousness.

Are You Running Your Life on "Shoulds" and Fear of Rejection?

Are You Running Your Life on "Shoulds" and Fear of Rejection?

The bummer about 'shoulds' is that when we are dominated by them, we are also dominated by the fear of being rejected or abandoned in some way, because that's the core emotional fear that activates many of them. These ongoing fears leave many of us drained and exhausted...

Slow Down, Stop Rushing, and Celebrate Life

Slow Down, Stop Rushing, and Celebrate Life

People are in such a rush these days, living on the fast track. Talking fast, eating fast, moving fast. What a difference from sixty years ago. Did you know you'll probably do more in this year with appointments, people to meet, places to go than your grandparents did their entire lives?

How Does Your Brain Wake Up From Sleep?

How Does Your Brain Wake Up From Sleep?

When you’re asleep, you can seem completely dead to the world. But when you wake up, in an instant you can be up and at ‘em.

Is What You Do in Alignment with Who You Really Are At Your Core?

Is What You Do in Alignment with Who You Really Are At Your Core?

Each event in our life builds off other events emotionally so that they create our core themes. Every perception, drama, trauma, relationship (both the good and bad ones), fear, belief, success, and failure are rooted in our core themes. They're all just waiting for ...

6 Ways To Reboot Your Brain After A Hard Year

6 Ways To Reboot Your Brain After A Hard Year

There’s no doubt that 2020 was difficult for everyone and tragic for many. But now vaccines against COVID-19 are finally being administered – giving a much needed hope of a return to normality and a happy 2021.

Three Misleading Ideas about Past Lives and Life-Between-Lives

Three Misleading Ideas about Past Lives and Life-Between-Lives

Over the years, I heard clients blame everyone and everything for the issues they were dealing with in their lives, but they seldom considered the possibility that this was what they put into motion in their life-between-lives session.

The New Year Lays Gifts Upon The Altar Of Your Heart

The New Year Lays Gifts Upon The Altar Of Your Heart

The beginning of a new year offers a poignant opportunity to set the priorities that will carry us through the year. We succeed or fail based on what we hold dear. Choose meaningless priorities, and you become the heir to pain. Live from what you value, and your life becomes a celebration of purpose.

The Intersection of Prosperity and Life Purpose is Your Financial "Sweet Spot"

The Intersection of Prosperity and Life Purpose is Your Financial "Sweet Spot"

We all have a desire for wealth and prosperity. But there’s a deeper meaning to this desire than simply accumulating material goods or fattening our bank accounts. When properly aligned with our purpose, passion, and high-value gifts, our desire for wealth and prosperity is like a compass pointing us toward our greater purpose in the world.

How Can We Transform Our Perspective of Negative Conditions?

How Can We Transform Our Perspective of Negative Conditions?

A negative condition is anything you perceive as lacking in joyful experience for yourself. Another person may perceive that experience to be joyful and a definitely positive condition. Conditions are relative, for in essence, there is no reality, but simply your perception of it. All is relative.

The Why and How of Successful Affirmations: Manifesting the Ideal Through Practice

The Why and How of Successful Affirmations: Manifesting the Ideal Through Practice

Affirmation is a skillful means for transforming energy, and it begins with the deletion of negative statements about self and others. A negative statement freezes one in time and space without room for harmonization. Affirmations need to be unambiguous, simple and clear statements of one's intentions.

"I Am An Introvert": The Myths of Introversion

"I Am An Introvert": The Myths of Introversion

It is natural to want to fit into a category that gives us an identity, especially if that identity provides a better understanding of ourselves and others, and explains the nature of our interactions. But be careful of type­casting yourself. Instead, try to ...

Where Have All The Hunter-Gatherers Gone?

Where Have All the Hunter-Gatherers Gone?

New advances in anthropology and paleontology have answered one of the most vexing questions about the Hunter/Farmer theory: “Why is the leftover Hunter/ADHD gene only present in a minority of our population, and where have all the hunters gone?”

Hieroglyphics, The Word of Gods, Magic, and Power

Hieroglyphics, The Word of Gods, Magic, and Power

Words are magic. Thoughts create actions that manifest forms. No matter what language you are using—English, Chinese, or the language of hieroglyphs—thoughts are things.

Always and Never: Two Extremely Powerful Words

Always and Never: Two Very Powerful Words

'Always'. 'Never'. These are probably the two most powerful words in the English language. Even more powerful than yes and no, since saying yes (or no) applies to the moment or subject at hand, while saying 'always' or 'never' sets the tone for everything to come. The two words can...

Living Your Truth and Your Evolutionary Calling

 Living Your Truth and Your Evolutionary Calling

When you live your truth, you know who you are, and you own it. The person you are inside and the person you are to the world are one and the same. You are no longer reluctant or afraid to stand for what you really are.

Afraid of the Unknown: How Important Is Change In A Person's Life?

Afraid of the Unknown: How Important Is Change In A Person's Life?

Naturally we are scared to move into the unknown because our personality relies a lot on the symbols, psychological structures, and associations we develop. We become comfortable in a society, and with a group of people -- work mates, family, and friends. However, embracing change is a matter of giving away or letting go of old traits.

Something Wonderful Is Happening

Something Wonderful Is Happening: What Can You Do?

News, by definition, is mostly bad. If we believed only what we read, heard, and watched on mainstream news and through social media, we’d become convinced that our world is in the worst shape it’s ever been and that human beings are a woeful species doomed to imminent demise.

Why Concussion Can Accelerate Ageing of the Brain

Why Concussion Can Accelerate Ageing of the Brain

The serious harm caused by concussion in sport first became apparent among the “punch-drunk” boxers who suffered repetitive blows to the head over the course of their fighting careers.

Abuse: Working with Painful Memories and Transforming the Memory

Abuse: Working with Painful Memories and Transforming the Memory

Abuse is deeply shattering to the body, psyche, and spirit. The process of opening up and letting go, of becoming aware, can break up the painful memories that arise from abuse, whether they've been there for a long time or are just beginning to arise.

Living A Whole Life Is A Choice You Make and A Stand You Take

Living A Whole Life Is A Choice You Make and A Stand You Take

Choosing to live and create a whole life in this current overculture is a radical act, one that requires you to consciously, courageously, and consistently make choices that support the whole to thrive — including, at times, taking a fierce stand to longer accept anything less than a whole life.

Working in Harmony with Life-Force Energy

Working in Harmony with Life-Force Energy

As humans, everything we do requires energy. We need energy each morning to open our eyes, get out of bed, and plan what we’ll do next. From our first month in the womb to our ending days, our bodies use this energy to keep life flowing. You can think of this energy like fuel and your body the vehicle.

The Silver Lining: Reflecting on 2020's Challenges and Opportunities

The Silver Lining: Reflecting on 2020's Challenges and Opportunities

We all can't wait to be done with the year 2020. Looking back over all the challenges this year brought to people both in the U.S. and across the globe, we're not likely to feel much fondness for the previous 12 months. And yet, we may find some positive aspects...

Two Paths and Five Ways to Increase Joy

Two Paths and Five Ways to Increase Joy

Whether you describe the way you feel as jubilant, happy, elated, ecstatic, or euphoric, the underlying emotion is JOY. Joy is an emotion. It's so lovely to feel this emotion and to tell the truth, it's been a while since I've...

Are You Holding Yourself Back From Expressing Your True Self?

Are You Holding Back from Expressing Your True Self?
We have repressed a lot of our emotions, whether they are considered 'good' or 'bad' ones. Sometimes we hold back on expressing our love for fear of being misunderstood, or perhaps thinking the timing is not 'right'. Most commonly, we have been taught to hold back on our 'negative' emotions — fear, anger, sorrow, pain, etc.

The Law of Least Effort is the 4th Spiritual Law of Success

The Law of Least Effort is the Fourth Spiritual Law of Success

Least effort is expended when your actions are motivated by love, because nature is held together by the energy of love. When you seek power and control over other people, you waste energy. But when your actions are motivated by love, there is no waste of energy, your energy multiplies and accumulates.

Take Yourself On and Do The Work

Take Yourself On and Do The Work 

Whether unconscious or conscious, we are all hungry for more depth of connection and more purpose. People often choose therapy as a last resort to heal their discomfort. My group therapy practice is built on the concept of taking yourself on, or, as we call it in my group, “work”.

Much Like Dorian Gray's Portrait, Trump Is A Reflection Of America’s Soul

Much Like Dorian Gray's Portrait, Trump Is A Reflection Of America’s Soul

As many have noted, United States President Donald Trump embodies the very worst American traits. If one were to caricature America’s vices, from bombast to narcissism, heartless individualism and toxic machismo, one would come up with someone who looks very much like Trump.

The Power of Belief: Is It All in Your Head?

It's All in Your Head?

Just as true happiness is not simply the absence of problems but an internal life state that enables us to challenge any obstacles to happiness that come our way, health is not simply the absence of illness. The important issue is whether we defeat sickness when it comes or whether sickness defeats us...

Our Light-filled Ancestors: We Are The True Potential of Our Ancestors

Our Light-filled Ancestors: The True Potential of Our Ancestors

Since the ancestors in our lineage have not been honored in our religion for many years and were often confronted with adversities in their era, we have forgotten where we come from, who we are, and what potential lies dormant within our lineage.

 

The Power of Erasure: A Magic Word that Erases Unhappy Conditions

Eraser Power: Just Say No!

There is a magic word that can remove from existence any unhappy condition of mind, body, and affairs. This tiny word is power-packed and should be used instantly to negate any seeming evil thought, word, or appearance before it can establish a foothold in consciousness.

The Sixth Huna Principle: Mana -- All Power Comes From Within

The Sixth Huna Principle: Mana -- All Power Comes From Within

The sixth Huna principle, Mana, states that there is nothing outside us that is more powerful than we are, and there is nothing that can’t be touched by our influence. Every dynamic action that we take contains an inner spark of universal power that spans the galaxies and beyond.

Breaking Down or Breaking Through? Choosing Our Attitude

Breaking Down or Breaking Through? Choosing Our Attitude

For every setback, look for opportunity. That is a provocative statement, hard to accept when you feel betrayed or shamed or in the depths of grief or loss. When you have lost your job, or your partner has walked out on you, or you have made the worst mistake of your life, how can you accept the idea that by what you fall, you can rise?

A Different Kind of Midlife: Facing Feelings and Letting Go of Illusions

A Different Kind of Midlife: Facing Feelings and Letting Go of Illusions

By your mid-30s or 40s, you wake up every morning and you feel like the same person. Your environment, which you relied on so heavily to remove your pain or guilt or suffering, is no longer taking away those feelings. This is the midlife crisis that most people know about...

How Successful Golfers Stay Focused On Those Crucial Shots

How Successful Golfers Stay Focused On Those Crucial Shots

Sporting history is littered with tales of defeat snatched from the jaws of victory. Famously, the US golfer Doug Sanders was a three-foot putt away from winning the 1970 Open Championship in St Andrews. He missed.

Thriving In The Face of Deep Instability

 Thriving In The Face of Deep Instability

It is our challenge to find strength and meaning in the tragedies, fears and confusions that confront us. In discovering ways of dealing with those inevitable events, we have the possibility of alchemizing our experience, turning the base metal of our pain into the gold of wisdom, understanding, enrichment and purpose.

How To Shift Away from Overwhelm, Burnout, and Self-Sacrifice

How To Shift Away from Overwhelm, Burnout, and Self-Sacrifice

The first step in changing what’s not working for you is awareness — becoming conscious of what you are currently blind to. You simply cannot change what you cannot see. But when you do see what was previously hidden, you gain the power to change it.

Get Rid of Stress by Discovering and Living Your Spiritual Purpose

Get Rid of Stress by Discovering & Living Your Spiritual Purpose

Each soul incarnated into a specific form on earth for a unique purpose. Your journey is now and exists at this moment, whether you realize it or not. It will be more enjoyable if you consciously pursue your spiritual purpose to bring the world to Love. Consciously following your spiritual purpose brings you ultimate...

Connecting with Your Life Purpose, Personal Goals, and Free Will

Connecting with Your Life Purpose, Personal Goals, and Free Will

I started asking the crowds who came to my workshops two questions: “Who believes they have a life purpose?” and “Who knows what their purpose is?” Without exception, everyone believed they had a purpose yet only a small fraction knew what it was.

Is The Coronavirus Cure Worse Than The Disease?

Is The Coronavirus Cure Worse Than The Disease?

In the conquest of Mount Everest anything less than 100% success is failure, but in most communicable diseases we are not faced with the attainment of such absolute goals, but rather with trying to reduce the problem to tolerable levels, as quickly as possible, within the limits of available resources

Going From Incoherence, Competition, and Chaos to “Holotropism”

Going From Incoherence, Competition, and Chaos to “Holotropism”

The coherence-building process in the universe is a real but subtle process. In the contemporary world it is often diverted and dominated by existential, more directly survival-oriented forces and impulses. These forces and impulses tend to be self-centered and competitive.

Changing...Instantly: It's A Lot Easier Than You Think

Changing...Instantly: It's A Lot Easier Than You Think

Mechanical behaviors are old ways of doing things that once worked, or appeared to have worked, in situations that were stressful or in situations that were actual or perceived as potentially endangering your survival.

How Can We Find Rest, Renewal and Delight in Our Busy Lives?

How Can We Find Rest, Renewal and Delight in Our Busy Lives?

Our culture invariably supposes that action and accomplishment are better than rest, that doing something -- anything -- is better than doing nothing. Poisoned by this hypnotic belief that good things come only through unceasing determination and tireless effort, we can never truly rest.

Learning to Process Emotions Safely and Successfully

Learning to Process Emotions Safely and Successfully

One of the biggest problems that people bring to therapy is not knowing what to do with a wide range of feelings, including sadness, anger, ecstasy, fear, and depression. Many visits to medical doctors are attempts to deal with feelings unable to be expressed or released. Such feeling problems are quite common.

During These Weird, Wild and Wonderful Times

During These Weird, Wild and Wonderful Times

How are you doing in this time? My experience is that it’s weird, and wild, and wonderful in certain ways, and really, really challenging in others. Grief, loss, uncertainty. Inspiration, creativity, a feeling of a “pause” that is ongoing. These are some of the things I’ve been feeling, and I’m hearing from many people who are experiencing similar energies and emotions.

Stepping Into Our 5D Frequency For Planetary Transformation

Stepping Into Our 5D Frequency For Planetary Transformation

By nature, we are 5th dimensional humans. This has been encoded in our DNA. 5D humans live from their heart’s wisdom. They feel fully empowered and emit unconditional love and non-judgment for themselves and all others. 

How to Break the Spell and Set Yourself Free

How to Break the Spell and Set Yourself Free

We need to examine the spells that hypnotize us and break them when they hinder us. Spells are words, deeds and judgements that go unquestioned, undigested and unchallenged. It could be a doctor informing you that you have three months to live, a friend saying your marriage won’t work, your mind telling you that...

The Force Is With Us: Gateways to Soul Power

The Force Is With Us: Gateways to Soul Power

Nothing can happen without the power to make it happen, and if you and I are to work at living more abundantly and soulfully, we will need not only a lot of love, determination and psychological maturity, but also a lot of power. Indeed, having power is very important and it serves as a central gateway that can potentially...

How Science Untangles The Elusive Power and Influence of Hope In Our Lives

How Science Untangles The Elusive Power and Influence of Hope In Our Lives

On Erin Gruwell’s first day as a high school English teacher, she faced a classroom of 150 “at risk” freshmen. Most of these kids, statistically, were going to fail. They were tough, their young lives already defined by poverty, gangs, violence and low expectations.

How Science Untangles The Elusive Power and Influence of Hope In Our Lives
Traditional dancers celebrate Hari Raya, the end of Ramadan.
Photo by Aniq Danial for Unsplash, CC BY-ND

On Erin Gruwell’s first day as a high school English teacher, she faced a classroom of 150 “at risk” freshmen. Most of these kids, statistically, were going to fail. They were tough, their young lives already defined by poverty, gangs, violence and low expectations. These students, she wrote, knew nearly every “four-letter word” except one: hope.

Yet four years later, every one of her “at risk” students at Wilson High School in Long Beach, CA, had graduated from high school. More than half went on to graduate from college. The stories written by Gruwell’s students were published as a book called “The Freedom Writers Diary”. It became a New York Times bestseller and in 2007 was made into a major motion picture called “Freedom Writers” starring Hilary Swank.

Graduation carries many messages of hope.Graduation carries many messages of hope. Photo by Marleena Garris for Unsplash., CC BY-ND

Gruwell taught English but also taught them an elusive trait: hope. Science has, in the past 30 years, documented that hope can serve as a strategy for success.

Teaching hope

Although hope is a common theme in mythology, philosophy and theology, it wasn’t a subject of psychological research until University of Kansas psychologist Richard Snyder began his pioneering study in the 1990s. His work paved the way for science to measure, teach and distinguish hope from other psychological disciplines. His research recognized hope as a cognitive function, an emotional state accompanied by action.

Goals are basic to human behavior, Snyder noted, whether they are long- or short-term. They are the first step in imagining future achievement. Being successful, he writes, requires a way to pursue a goal and the will not give up – will power and way power. Snyder and social scientist Shane Lopez confirmed that hope can be taught and learned and that it provides benefits in the public sphere.

What kids need to excel

I am a professor of practice and clinical director for Arizona State University’s Center for the Advanced Study and Practice of Hope. The center’s team is made up of researchers, practitioners and graduate students who are advancing the understanding, strategy and practice of hope.

Other academic institutions including the University of Oklahoma’s Hope Research Center are committing resources to better understand the dynamics of hope. In 2014, the John Templeton Foundation funded The Hope and Optimism initiative, a $4.5 million, four-year grant at Notre Dame and Cornell. The project explored hope from various lenses including religion, medicine, sociology and psychology.

Kids thrive with an adult in their court.Kids thrive with an adult in their court. Photos by Kevin Laminto for Unsplash., CC BY-ND

There is a new generation of hope scientists emerging on university campuses around the globe dedicated to further unraveling hope’s potential. These research topics include coping skills, depression, aging, social justice and creating communities of hope.

It is my long-standing belief that society often defines children and their future by disproportionately identifying and focusing on risk and trauma but ignoring hope.

Applying hope to life

To better understand how hope theory could be translated into practice, in 1993 I enlisted a group of seven researchers, practitioners and graduate students to participate in a seven-year literature review. In 2000, our team shared its conclusions, launching a new initiative called Kids at Hope. The Kids at Hope strategy, at its core, promotes the practices and belief that all kids are capable of success – no exceptions.

These findings informed the design of a framework that teaches hope as a cognitive skill. Teaching hopefulness begins by believing in all kids, connecting with young people in meaningful ways and teaching children how to imagine their goals, a process called mental time travel, that encourages the brain to plan for future opportunities and challenges.

The ability to mentally time travel is the process of remembering the past to draw from those memories and construct a future. Recalling past events is a great advantage in determining who and what to trust, and what works and what doesn’t. Through past experiences, people are able to picture where they would like to be and how to get there.

A central part of this work focuses on teaching the science of hope so that it can flourish in communities — whether that is the juvenile justice system, education, child welfare, behavioral health or youth development systems. The science is clear. Hopeful people are happier, healthier and achieve more of their goals than those who lack hope.

If it “takes a village to raise and educate a child,” I believe hope theory should be part of that strategy. As Gruwell and her students discovered, hope is a gift that can positively change lives.The Conversation

About the Author

Richard Miller, Professor of Practice, T. Denny Sanford School of Social and Family Dynamic, Arizona State University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

How Introverts and Extroverts Working Together Create Balance and Innovation

How Introverts and Extroverts Working Together Create Balance and Innovation 

In the rapid-fire of the modern day workplace, teams with diverse perspectives can produce unique solutions to problems while generating fresh and creative ideas. This powerful perspective is often evident when introverts and extroverts work together in harmony appreciating the rich difference in style and energy.

 

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