4 Ways to Build Confidence and Quiet Your Inner Critic

4 Ways to Build Confidence and Quiet Your Inner Critic

Contrary to popular belief, you are more than your accomplishments. And conversely, you are more than your failures. You are the creative source, but not the creation. Attaching your self-confidence to the outcome of your actions is like attaching it to the weather. If you do, you're apt to feel good about yourself when the weather is to your liking, and critical of yourself when it's not -- and this is how many of us live.

That's not to say that you can't feel good about your accomplishments. Go ahead and pat yourself on the back, but be careful to separate that from your sense of self-confidence.

Take Daily: A Healthy Dose of Confidence

People who approach life with a healthy dose of confidence know intuitively that they cannot fail. They have a buoyancy about them that keeps them afloat on life's rough current because they don't let their failures sink them.

We all have the ability to fortify our raft of self-confidence for riding out both life's high and low waters. It comes down to the difference between a "fixed mindset" and a "growth mindset" -- the former referring to a belief that one's abilities are fixed traits, and the latter that anyone can grow through effort and trust.

A growth mindset is necessary for quieting your inner critic and building confidence. It centers on developing four qualities: self-worth, self-trust, competence and courage. Commit to bringing these qualities on board as you consciously quiet your inner critic and reinforce your self-confidence.

1. Reconnect with your self-worth

Your self-worth is a fact. It's not variable at all. The only variability is in your awareness of it. The deeper and more constant your recognition of your self-worth, the more your confidence will be bolstered and your life guided by it.

But awareness of self-worth is often shrouded by a veil of mental noise. To reconnect with the knowledge of your self-worth requires a deliberate practice of making space. Allow space -- or purposeful reflection -- to connect to who you truly are, beyond what the world tells you.

Experience the sweetness of your intrinsic worth. Structure a habit of consciously witnessing your mental dialogue, and learn how to keep your inner critic from undermining and obscuring your sense of self-worth.


 Get The Latest By Email

Weekly Magazine Daily Inspiration

2. Revive your self-trust

When you begin peeling away layers of negative beliefs about yourself, and experience an emerging knowing of the preciousness and potential that you embody, this automatically leads to a sense of reverence for your authentic Self. From that reverence comes an urge to be a person of integrity. And there's really no greater fortifier of confidence than to have integrity.

The most essential elements of self-trust are the ability to trust yourself to abide by your core values, to keep your agreements, and to manage whatever hurdles life throws at you. When you trust yourself, fear melts away because you know that you'll manage whatever comes up.

Pay attention to your self-talk. Replace "I can't" with "I don't" phrasing, such as, "I don't skip my scheduled workouts," or "I don't put junk food into my body," or "I don't get on Facebook during my workday." This is one example of how changing self-talk can empower you to trust in yourself.

3. Connect with your competence

Competence often comes through mastering a skill or achieving expertise in your chosen field. Yet competence is more than a matter of putting in the time and effort. There are scholars who've spent their lives accumulating college degrees, but who still think they're not smart enough.

With competence, in particular, it's important to embrace a growth mindset. You must believe that, by putting your mind to it, you can learn just about anything. If you catch yourself thinking that you'll never get good at something, challenge those thoughts.

Try to find objective and accurate assessors of your competence. There may be written tests available or online exams. Or, ask people in your life who will tell you objectively whether they think you're competent.

If it turns out that you do need to learn more, ask others in the field what the best avenues are for growth. The process is made easier if you pursue a skill that aligns with your interests and purpose.

4. Activate your courage

The need for courage is often diluted by an emphasis on things like business skills, education and networking. But timidity, risk-aversion and fear can undermine the most impressive skill set.

Not everyone is adventurous or extroverted. Yet, even for the introvert who wants a stable, peaceful life, there will be times when courage will allow for a deeper experience of peace and a richer experience of life's wonders.

Life is full of ways to boost your courage: Choosing what's right over what's easy; taking responsibility rather than blaming others; persisting when things get hard; accepting people who you dislike or disagree with; and so on.

We all experience varying degrees of fear and discomfort, but anytime we proceed anyway, we're activating our courage. Try to breathe into your lower belly, exhaling for as long as possible, to manage feelings of anxiety whenever courage is needed.

©2017 by Briana and Dr. Peter Borten. Reprinted with permission.
Adams Media Publications.www.adamsmedia.com

Article Source

The Well Life: How to Use Structure, Sweetness, and Space to Create Balance, Happiness, and Peace by Briana Borten and Dr. Peter Borten.The Well Life: How to Use Structure, Sweetness, and Space to Create Balance, Happiness, and Peace
by Briana Borten and Dr. Peter Borten.

Click here for more info and/or to order this book.

About the Authors

Briana Borten and Dr. Peter BortenBriana Borten and Dr. Peter Borten are the creators of the Rituals of Living online community and Dragontree, a holistic wellness brand. Briana is a Mastery Coach with an extensive background in coaching clients to help them reach personal breakthrough and mastery. Peter is a doctor of Asian medicine who helps people attain whole health of body and mind. He has authored hundreds of articles, spanning topics such as stress, emotional wellness, nutrition, fitness, and our connection with nature. Learn more at: www.thedragontree.com.
 

More Articles By This Author

You May Also Like

AVAILABLE LANGUAGES

enafarzh-CNzh-TWnltlfifrdehiiditjakomsnofaptruessvtrvi

follow InnerSelf on

facebook icontwitter iconyoutube iconinstagram iconpintrest iconrss icon

 Get The Latest By Email

Weekly Magazine Daily Inspiration

Marie T. Russell's Daily Inspiration

INNERSELF VOICES

Becoming Parents: A Path to Transformation
Becoming Parents: A Path to Transformation
by Barry and Joyce Vissell
For almost every couple, the thought of bringing a child into this world triggers a whole range of…
I Was Born during the late Eastern Han Dynasty...
I Was Born during the late Eastern Han Dynasty...
by Dena Merriam
I was born during the late Eastern Han Dynasty (25 CE-220 CE) into a family of ardent Daoists who…
Healing Otherness: Your Changes, Reflected in Community
Healing Otherness: Your Changes, Reflected in Community
by Stacee L. Reicherzer PhD
Seeking out a community of healing, being exploited in it, perhaps assuming the shame and…
Horoscope Week: June 14 - 20, 2021
Horoscope Current Week: June 14 - 20, 2021
by Pam Younghans
This weekly astrological journal is based on planetary influences, and offers perspectives and…
Being A Better Person
Being A Better Person
by Marie T. Russell
"He makes me want to be a better person." As I reflected on this statement later, I realized that…
Modeling Behavior is the Best Teacher: Respect Must Be Mutual
Modeling Behavior is the Best Teacher: Respect Must Be Mutual
by Carmen Viktoria Gamper
Socially respected behavior is learned behavior and some of it (for instance, table manners) varies…
Separation and Isolation vs. Community and Compassion
Separation and Isolation vs. Community and Compassion
by Lawrence Doochin
When we are in community, we automatically fall into service to those in need because we know them…
The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday
The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday
by Jason Redman
Ambushes don’t just happen in combat. In business and life, an ambush is a catastrophic event that…

MOST READ

Becoming Parents: A Path to Transformation
Becoming Parents: A Path to Transformation
by Barry and Joyce Vissell
For almost every couple, the thought of bringing a child into this world triggers a whole range of…
image
IRS hitting you with a fine or late fee? Don't fret – a consumer tax advocate says you still have options
by Rita W. Green, Instructor of Accountancy, University of Memphis
Tax Day has come and gone, and you think you filed your return in the nick of time. But several…
From deadly enemy to covidiots: Words matter when talking about COVID-19
Words matter when talking about COVID-19
by Ruth Derksen, PhD, Philosophy of Language, Faculty of Applied Science, Emeritus, University of British Columbia
So much has been said and written about the COVID-19 pandemic. We’ve been flooded with metaphors,…
image
The mystery of long COVID: up to 1 in 3 people who catch the virus suffer for months. Here's what we know so far
by Vanessa Bryant, Laboratory Head, Immunology Division, Walter and Eliza Hall Institute
Most people who get COVID suffer the common symptoms of fever, cough and breathing problems, and…
How Well Your Immune System Works Can Depend On The Time Of Day
How Well Your Immune System Works Can Depend On The Time Of Day
by Annie Curtis, RCSI University of Medicine and Health Sciences
When microorganisms – such as bacteria or viruses – infect us, our immune system jumps into action.…
A teen reads her phone with a confused look on her face
Why teens have a hard time finding truth online
by Stanford
A new national study shows a woeful inability by high schoolers to detect fake news on the internet.
An Open Letter to the Entire Human Family
An Open Letter to the Entire Human Family
by Ruchira Avatar Adi Da Samraj
This is the moment of truth for humankind. Critical choices must now be made in order to protect…
image
4 ways to have a positive experience when engaging with social media
by Lisa Tang, PhD Candidate in Family Relations and Applied Nutrition, University of Guelph
Have you ever thought about all the ways social media is woven within your everyday life? This has…

New Attitudes - New Possibilities

InnerSelf.comClimateImpactNews.com | InnerPower.net
MightyNatural.com | WholisticPolitics.com | InnerSelf Market
Copyright ©1985 - 2021 InnerSelf Publications. All Rights Reserved.