Ah, yes! Gratitude is magical. Once you get into the groove of it, you will know why. There is nothing so freeing and so exhilarating as pouring out gratitude, not just for what we can easily see as benefits, or enjoyable things and situations, but for every moment of existence and for whatever happens.
In every experience the blessing of a gift can eventually be found. You’ve most likely heard this before: ‘Every cloud has a silver lining.’ I have heard people scoff at this and say it’s just a false attempt to give a positive slant to something that is only awful. The truth from my own experience is that the blessings and gifts far outweigh the suffering and pain anyone might endure, but you need to be open to that idea to start discovering them.
This idea might be totally confronting to begin with, until you start digging. Like a treasure, it has to be worked for. Changing disgust, anger, etc. into gratitude is work. Once you get the hang of it, however, it becomes something you will be eager to do. You may not get there for a while. Don’t imagine that you have to be grateful or else! Gratitude is a choice, but it needs to be made when you are ready for it.
Personally I can say with perfect truth that I am grateful for every experience, especially for the experiences of abuse. Why? Because they have made me face the way I was being in life, and they have made me into the strong, clear, compassionate person I am today.
Gratitude enabled me to deal with a depth of fear inside me that at one time was too daunting to admit. It has humbled me and has largely taken away my pride and arrogance. What gifts!
This is not to give abusers encouragement to abuse, in case that is your take on what I have just written. Words have certain limitations, and possible wrong interpretation is always one of them. Abusers have their own path to address, and their own karma to work out. You have yours, and we’re only talking about you here.
The thing about your past experiences is that they are in your PAST – they happened and can’t be undone. You can’t change what happened but you can change your interpretation of what those experiences mean to you, and you can decide that they are going to be your making, not your undoing. For this to happen, you need to eventually come to a point of gratitude. Yes, this is confronting stuff.
I pour love into my wounds…
I pour love into me who feels this way…
I tenderly embrace the child inside me that longs for love.
I accept being loved by Spirit…
I accept being loved by my own Heart…
I let the love in!
I breathe love in and understand
more and more what love really is.
Spirit, show me the way: I need some light here!
I breathe in Light and breathe out Light,
and as I do, I radiate the Light that I Am.
I ask for consistency, constancy and the ability
to be relentless in my quest for freedom.
I ask to value the truth above all else.
I remove all judgement about my negative emotions
and from myself in order to release them.
I love the truth above all else;
I ask to be free of illusions, glamour
and all self-imposed limitations and conditioning.
I ask for the wonderful gift of gratitude in my heart.
I am not my body; I am Spirit, who is Love.
I am Eternal Being in a short-lived human body.
I am Eternal Being expressing myself as this physical person.
I love living life through this personality.
I love the uniqueness of my personality.
As I allow myself to feel and release my negative emotions,
more of the true me arrives on this planet
to enjoy myself and radiate joy to others.
As I replace negativity with love,
I am making myself useful,
since love is what heals the planet.
I love myself no matter what.
I choose to love.
I choose love over fear.
I give myself permission
to fully feel worthy of love and healing.
Albert Einstein said, “Insanity is repeating what you’ve always done and expecting the results to be different.” Remember that sabotage is your usual way of operating. If you are going to heal, you will start a new way of being and acting.
The door is open: walk through the door and may you be blessed with the greatest success of your lifetime!
©2016 by Carla van Raay. All Rights Reserved.
Published by Changemakers Books.
Healing from Abuse - A Practical Spiritual Guide
by Carla van Raay.
Carla van Raay migrated to Australia in 1950 from the Netherlands. She was a Catholic nun until age 31; left and became a sex worker: both life choices based on early sexual abuse. Her memoir God’s Callgirl became a best seller in several countries. Carla has resided in Western Australia since 1980 as teacher, author and spiritual mentor. She is a mother and grandmother.