I’ve had so many callers on The Aware Show who are in deep emotional pain from different sources. The thing that often strikes me is that most people do not reframe events that are less than pleasurable in life. The best advice I’ve ever heard is what I will tell you right now: When something in your life goes wrong, look for the lesson that you can learn from this event. Somewhere there is energy that is trying to teach you something.
For example, I had a caller who was part of sweeping layoffs at his corporation. In his 50s, he was beside himself because his savings had dwindled and he was experiencing that gripping, heart-pounding, breath-stealing fear that wakes you up in the middle of the night.
About a year later, he called back to say, “Lisa, my layoff was absolutely one of the greatest blessings of my life. Each day, my boss and co-workers were emotionally abusing me. At my age, I just tried to make it through the ten-hour days without making any waves. Did I also mention that I was overworked to the point of exhaustion, which was starting to take a toll on my health?”
When this man got the boot from his company, it forced him to look for a different job — and he found a great one, with a wonderful boss and supportive peers. “Getting fired was the first step when it came to finding my dream job,” he told me in a happy voice, noting, “I sleep like a baby now.”
What was the lesson in his firing? He reframed the situation in his mind to state that being fired was the best thing possible, and the lesson was that good jobs with nice people were out there if you look hard enough. His other lesson was that no one should have to suffer through abuse silently.
A Grain of Sand is the Starting Point of a Priceless Pearl
The definition of perturbation is “a deviation of a system or process from its regular or normal state or path caused by an outside influence.” It’s the old tale of sand abrasively rubbing within the oyster to create the shiny pearl; that type of agitation is needed for the gem to arise. This is often the case when it comes to our personal growth — we get so tired of doing something the difficult way that the frustration we experience causes us to act in a different and easier way. This kind of perturbation, or deviation, is often spawned by the pure frustration of systems breaking down.
A woman I know was involved in an intense class-action lawsuit against a life-insurance company. She was representing millions of people and went up against 12 attorneys backed by a billion-dollar insurance company. She didn’t win her suit, but guess what? The fact that she lost launched this rocket of desire within her to go on a personal journey where she taught others about how to read a life-insurance policy’s fine print. All of a sudden, this woman found her passion throughout a challenging time that actually cost her a great portion of her life’s savings.
At moments like this, you can look at the situation in two ways: You can become completely disabled by it and never get out of bed. Or you can use it to jump-start what you truly want in life, fueled by the fact that you won’t lose again. After experiencing a loss, it’s easy to figure out what you want next time.
When You Hit a Roadblock, Try Meditation
Since it’s a given that everyone will hit a roadblock in life, it’s important to find ways to soothe yourself when you are in crisis mode.
My go-to first call is to realize that a challenging time is only temporary, and all I need to do is deal with what’s happening in the moment. I found a great soother while doing a show on stress relief where my guest was a meditation expert. I’ve spoken to many meditation teachers over the years, but there was something special about Dr. Andrew Newberg, because he told me that he’d been doing research on the subject for over 20 years.
I thought, If anyone is qualified to give advice in this area, it’s this man. Dr. Newberg then said the magic words to me on the air: “Meditation doesn’t have to be complicated, or all about sitting in a pose and saying, ‘Om.’ It can actually be quite simple.”
This expert reminded my audience and me that the practice of meditation could take place anywhere, at any time, and it didn’t even need to involve sitting — this ancient art form was a highly personal one. “It will be different for everyone. Certain meditations work for certain people and not others,” he said. You can even do it in line at the bank simply by standing in gratitude. This isn’t the traditional practice of meditation; I call it “practical meditation” or, better yet, “meditation for busy people.”
Meditation Doesn't Mean You Have To Sit
I knew that I had to make meditation a permanent part of my life, although in the past it had been very challenging for me. After the show I did with Dr. Newberg, it became clear that I didn’t have to go to an ashram or sit on a mountaintop. When I thought about it, I knew that my meditation would involve walking.
I need to move my body, which means that it can be almost impossible for me to sit still and meditate. Instead of thinking calming thoughts, I tend to fidget and my mind announces, It’s sort of uncomfortable sitting here because my back hurts. If I really want to clear my head, I prefer to walk around somewhere, as the repetitive movement helps me achieve a state of calm. If I get out and move in nature, it’s the best-case scenario for me.
A Five Minute Meditation is Better Than No Meditation At All
The other great bit of knowledge I received on my show was that you don’t have to meditate for an hour — even five minutes will do if that’s all the time allotted in your day. Of course, it’s great to be able to enjoy a longer session when it comes to this calming activity, but you don’t have to rule out meditation altogether if you’re super busy.
In addition, I’ve learned that nothing duplicates the results of meditation. It’s a medical fact that there is nothing you can take in pill form, including supplements, which will rid your body of the stress hormone cortisol that has built up during the day. Yet a five-minute meditation will do the job, keeping cortisol from building up in your system.
A Nighttime Meditation Can Cure Insomnia
A few nights ago, I was answering e-mails before I headed to bed, but then stopped about 20 minutes before I went to sleep. Alone in my office, I found a guided meditation on my computer and turned it on low, so I could hear the music in the background. I sat in a comfortable chair, closed my eyes, and felt my body calming down as my shoulders actually dropped. Taking these 20 minutes to meditate enabled my busy mind to relax and stop working. That way my mind didn’t keep going all night, and I could actually enjoy a deeper sleep.
People call my show all the time with the health complaint of insomnia. A nighttime meditation before you go to bed is a very effective way to get to sleep and stay asleep.
Intuition Will Cut Through The Muck and Give You Clarity
It’s a fascinating question for most of us: How much of our lives comes down to free will and choice, and how many facets are actually guided by Spirit? I’m not an angel communicator, but I certainly trust in spiritual guidance — as I remain committed to being open to that protection in life in a very practical way. Call it intuition or spirit guides, but I do believe that you must listen for that voice that always comes through to help you navigate your life. All of us know that voice, and quite often it comes through as thoughts that might seem like they are not our own.
Author Sonia Choquette once said to me in an interview that “living life without listening to your intuition is like walking around in the dark all day.” It’s true, in a sea of mental chatter, intuition will cut through all the muck and give you great clarity when you’re deciding what to do in any given situation. All of a sudden, the world seems to stop, and a new thought will come through to you.
Notice that your intuition is always forward thinking. Your job is to listen for this guidance while remaining in the flow of your life, and then use that wisdom to raise your own vibration.
Listeners often want to know if we can actually ask for our intuition or spiritual guidance to come into play and help with decision making or wading through murky waters. I do believe that this is entirely possible, and even quite easy to accomplish, especially when our back is up against the wall.
The Check Back In Exercise Is Your Own Personal GPS
When I was facing certain life questions recently, I went outside, sat down in a quiet spot, and allowed a warm breeze to wash over me. I tried to quiet my mind and listen as my eyes drifted upward to what was almost a full moon. On that cloudless summer night, a scattering of bright stars was my only light. As I swept away the daily issues, I allowed my mind to focus on the life questions at hand, and let my intuition guide me.
I call this exercise my “Check Back In” moment. I was busy living my life, but I knew that I needed to stop, get quiet, and check in with myself to solve a problem. It doesn’t cost a dime to schedule these Check Back In moments with yourself, and I advise you to do so often, especially when going through a troubling time.
Think of the Check Back In as your own personal GPS — instead of a satellite or computer, it’s your intuition or spirit guides that will get you from point A to B. If you choose to think of this as checking in with your angels, then so be it. That’s what I do. I am constantly guided, or else I couldn’t life a truly aware life.
One quick note on checking in with yourself: You absolutely do not have to wait for a major life event to do this exercise. Your average day will present you with several challenges where your intuition might be your only guide. Should you allow your daughter to go to that kid’s house? Will you listen to the advice of a friend? Is it a good idea to go into business with that person? You can easily get quiet for a minute or two, check in, and find the answers. Once the answer is given, then trust it instead of second-guessing what you’ve heard.
©2015 by Lisa Garr. All Rights Reserved.
Reprinted with permission of the publisher,
Hay House Inc. www.hayhouse.com
Watch the book trailer: Become Aware (with The Aware Show Host, Lisa Garr)
About the Author
Lisa Garr hosts a popular US radio programme called The Aware Show, along with a weekly show on Hay House Radio. In addition, she has her own show on Gaiam TV, as well as a popular online personal development series. She reaches a combined audience of more than four million globally a month. Visit her website at www.theawareshow.com
Watch an interview: Are You Ready to Transcend? (with Lisa Garr)