One feeling in particular merits a special note: anger. If this feeling is a problem for you, you're not alone. It seems that modern life is full of poor expressions of anger.
If we could see our angry emotional reactions clearly, it would become obvious that they deplete us and narrow our life. Yet, in spite of the fact that we hurt ourselves and others with our anger, we hold on to this restricting emotion with a puzzling tenacity.
As the world fights the novel coronavirus pandemic, our strongest weapon right now is physical distancing.
What is anger? It's only a game. Something has come along and contradicted your ego -- that's all that has happened.
Whenever Martha had to deal with someone who was getting on her nerves or was seriously upsetting her, she was supposed to think, 'Peace be with you!'
Medicare-subsidised psychology and psychiatry sessions, as well as GP visits, can now take place via phone and video calls – if clinicians agree not to charge patients out-of-pocket costs for the consult.
The COVID-19 pandemic is different from many crises in that it has affected all of us regardless of politics, economics, religion, age or nationality.
First of all, most of us have views and opinions about everything and everyone. Because of this tendency to judge, we are continually deciding whether we approve of or like each experience as it occurs. Wherever we go and whatever we do, our internal "critic" is saying, "I don't like this," or "I don't approve of that."
There are many occasions in life where our "inner peace" is challenged. When I find myself in a situation where I would tend to react with anger, or judgment, or criticism, rather than react with anger, I silently sing to myself, "Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me."
There is no mental peace when you do not control your mind but instead follow anger. There is peace, however, when you apply the meditations and teachings of the graduated path to enlightenment in your daily life and control your mind by practicing patience, loving kindness, and compassion.
Prior to about the age of nine and a half, I don't recall being a rage-filled kid. In fact, I remember being quite sensitive and frightened for the most part, with a general anxiety about living in the world. However, something occurred when I was nine and a half that set up a pattern for future behavior...
We can replace angry or hostile thoughts with thoughts of loving-friendliness. Loving-friendliness radiates to the whole world the wish that all beings enjoy a comfortable life with harmony, mutual appreciation, and appropriate abundance. Though we all have the seed of loving-friendliness within us, we must make the effort to cultivate it.
We’ve all been there. You are in the middle of a heated disagreement when you lose respect for the opposing party.
We have the strongest karmic connections with family members; therefore, we have a great responsibility for developing our relationships with them. If we cannot develop loving-kindness towards our family, why even talk about other being. Zen Buddhism teaches that everything we do, provided it is done with total awareness, is spiritual activity.
What transforms an irksome situation or event into frustration? It's our expectations, our "shoulds" that cause aggravation. Your wife should have an awareness about her eating habits. Drivers should be considerate of other drivers' needs. Your son should learn how to develop tidy habits.
A commitment to an anger-free life involves signing up for a new journey. Deciding to actually enjoy this journey will make it much more pleasant. Learn to think of life as a process. If you focus only on goals, you are not going to be happy until you have achieved them.
In an actual war, to be attacked means to have our survival threatened. Thus, we might chose between surrender, withdrawal, or counterattack. When we feel attacked (criticized or judged) by others in conversation, we often move into that same...
When Ariana Grande cried on stage recently, following her performance of an emotionally laden song, she later took to Twitter to apologise and thanked her fans for accepting her humaneness.
When we don't express our anger constructively, we go negative with our judgments and feel mad because the world isn't living up to our expectations. Over the years, this becomes the lens through which we view the world. Instead of dealing with our emotions...
We are bombarded with potential triggers all the time. It can be as simple as someone not holding a door for us or the perceived negative tone of an email. It can happen when a loved one speaks insensitively or curtly. A few careless words can easily spark a flash of anger and a desire to verbally retaliate.
Not all negative emotions are necessarily bad. In fact, they can direct your behaviour in useful ways.
Nobody wants trouble. When confronted with a problem, keep this in mind -- that the people who initiate the conflict most likely don't want to be in that situation either. Find out the real cause of the disturbance and you may avoid...
Because blame can appear as everything from an arched eyebrow or a cynical sigh to a shouted accusation, identifying blame is not a simple task. And taking steps to eliminate it takes sustained effort. Here's how to deal with blame...
A decomposed, mummified body of a man was recently found by forensic cleaners in a Sydney apartment.
Racism isn’t new and will not go away. What is new is the interest in pointing it out and calling out its perpetrators through both mainstream and social media.
In the battle of nature versus nurture, nurture has a new recruit: epigenetics - brought in from molecular biology to give scientific heft to the argument that genes are not destiny.
Sometimes what looks like a fight is only the fierceness of love. We have moved from a condition of silent hostility, buried resentment, and covert low-intensity warfare to open conflict. We are wrestling together, changing roles in the hay, engaging in honest intercourse, yessing and k(no)wing each other. And contact is the first condition of love.
Think of a closed vessel that is continually heated. Eventually the pressure will build up and cause the vessel to explode. If the vessel is vented, however, when the pressure gets too great, steam or gas can escape a little at a time and keep an explosion from happening.
At some point we begin to realize that violence begets violence, and that the human race is in a vicious cycle of aggression, often unable to find a way out. Yet we must, if we are to achieve what every true human being yearns for: peace.
The violent and senseless death of 11-year-old Luke Batty in Victoria has not only drawn attention to the serious problem of family violence but has also raised questions about the role that undiagnosed or untreated mental illness may have played in his father’s behaviour.
I find myself thinking on occasion, "I hate it when...." We use the word hate easily... We hate a certain kind of ice cream, we hate tofu, we hate hurting ourselves, we hate being late, we hate... This is where I realized that anything that we profess to "hate" is simply a preference on our part.
The decision to choose anger over happiness is based on one factor, and that one factor is judgment. Does this person meet my expectations or not? Does this situation please me or not? Does this event conform to my morally correct and spiritually advanced view of the world or not? We basically organize our lives into two giant categories: people and things we like and people and things we don't like.
From the playground to government, bullying exists everywhere. In fact, a recent report into bullying in the UK’s parliament revealed just how serious this problem is, urging behavioural change among MPs. But why is bullying so widespread and difficult to tackle? Part of the problem is that bullies sometimes don’t even realize that they are bullies.
“Another morning, another bit of casual misogyny & abuse”, ABC journalist Leigh Sales lamented last week after receiving a tweet accusing her of “virtually” performing sexual acts on her 7.30 guests. Sales’s comments draw our attention back to the abuse routinely encountered by women, people of colour and LGBTQ people on social media. Indeed, such online encounters appear to be so routine for journalists such as Sales that they are a mundane occurrence.
Everyone gets angry. Some people show it openly and others don't. In relationship, anger can be either healthy or unhealthy. How you process it is what determines whether it becomes a tool for growth or a source of pain and destruction.
When we do not allow ourselves to experience emotions and suppress them instead, our souls create situations in which we are forced to feel them. That being the case, simply allowing ourselves to have the feeling might allow the energy to move through us and the so-called problem to...
Anger is more often than not a symptom of profound disappointment. In many cases, it can also represent a feeling of inferiority or an inability to express frustration in an educated or controlled way. Sometimes it’s just an instance of someone being emotionally...
Letting go is a hard one. Every part of humanity is designed to hang on. We hang on to our family connections, to the certificate we got at school, to our money, we embrace and hang on to our children, we lock our car and hang on to it. I think the whole definition of letting go is to stand outside the emotion.
With the Christmas party season upon us, many will be dreading much more than simply the prospect of small talk over sausage rolls with their colleagues.
Revenge in fiction can be shocking, but it often embeds a moral message. There is heroic revenge, a staple of the American movie world, in which the determined hero or anti-hero acts against an evil protagonist (the law being ineffective or absent).
Get mad when you read the news these days? It's more than just what you're reading. When you perceives unfairness or inequality, says Molly Crockett, the brain receives it more-so as an attack on identity.
Look at the people in other cars in front of you, behind you, passing around you, and recognize that each one of them is just like you: They want happiness and they want to be free from suffering. To each person you focus on say or think something like...
The events that have been transpiring here in the US and around the world have impacted me deeply. As we got closer to the election last November here in the US, I could feel the upwelling of waves of hatred in my community and in the collective. I desperately hoped that I was wrong...
We touch the real heart of compassion when we can engage with someone who is suffering from carrying so much aggression, so much negativity, so much emotion that they can’t help but cause trouble and drive people away. If you can approach such a person and give them some support...
It was only when I began to study patience closely that I came to see how anger and patience are related. In fact, anger is the direct consequence of losing our patience. For it is precisely because we don’t have tolerance for something or someone that we get mad...
Many Americans are morally outraged that U.S. President Donald Trump fired former FBI Director James Comey, who had been investigating possible links between Trump’s election campaign and the Russian government.
Your decision to remain calm inside regardless of what’s happening outside makes you larger than circumstances. You’re able to move through misfortune without it dragging you down, dampening your spirit, or blocking your path. Your calm allows you to...
The danger with anger is not that we have it, but that we may not choose to release it. We feed anger with our doubts and fears. We create stories about the insult and injury we experienced. The resentment becomes a self-righteous retreat...
Most research into teen bullying tends to focus only on the victim. This means we know little about how the bully is affected.
Changing our thoughts can be as easy as A, B, C. And that's the key to creating a different set of experiences that leads to the different life many of us deserve. One of my favorite ideas from A Course in Miracles is...
“Fail at life. Go bomb yourself.” Comments like this one, found on a CNN article about how women perceive themselves, are prevalent today across the internet
Physically wanting to strike out or viewing other people, things, or situations as enemies isn’t going to get you where you want to go. In fact, it could land you up in prison or equally worse, locked up in an emotional prison of being alone forever...
Many people who are striving to be tolerant and loving and kind suppress their own personal power because they mistakenly perceive the energy of personal power to be anger.
Society pays a heavy price for traffic. It leads to lost time, more pollution and increased spending on gasoline. But there may be yet another hidden cost of traffic.
Mainstream media tend to report more stories about illicit drugs than alcohol. This is despite one study finding 47% of homicides in Australia over a six-year period were alcohol-related.
The penchant for human beings to discover how unalike they are, how distinct they are - it all has to do with ego. Where we need to put the energy now is in how similar we are...
Internet trolls, by definition, are disruptive, combative, and often unpleasant with their offensive or provocative online posts designed to disturb and upset.
A study that investigated how messages containing different emotions spread across social networks found that “anger is more influential than other emotions like joy, which indicates that angry tweets can spread quickly and broadly in the network”.
We are a divided nation; that is an understatement. What’s more, we increasingly hear we are living in our own “bubble” or echo chamber that differing views cannot penetrate.
The vitriolic presidential campaign left many of us feeling anger, and the election of Donald J. Trump as President hasn’t erased it. Hearing about or seeing vicious personal attacks, criticism of parents who have lost a child to war, accusations of fraud and talk of sexual assault have affected our psyches, souls and bodies.
Anger fuels our dark side. We give into the impulse to strike out justifying our mean words and destructive actions by unspoken thoughts such "You hurt me and so I'm going to hurt you back." We escalate, tell ourselves "they deserve it" and erroneously think...
Most people will categorically agree that one of the most difficult emotions to express is forgiveness. More lives have been destroyed by bitterness and the inability to forgive than perhaps any other negative emotion. Even the most minuscule issues that we refuse to let go of can poison...
Our linguistic and legal obsession with “insult” and “offence” is nothing new. In 1832, Sydney resident William McLoughlin was given 50 lashes for using the word “damned” against his master.
If there is one emotion that seems to get out of control, it is anger. We express it, and then we regret it. Repressing anger does no good. It just builds up, and then we feel as if we have a bomb that’s about to explode. Can we put unwanted anger to rest?
Individual tendencies toward physical aggression may lead someone to support aggressive foreign policy interventions, new research suggests.
Public debate on the effects of violent video games can become especially contentious in the wake of a rampage shooting, such as the recent killing of nine people in Munich.
So many women are still afraid of being called angry, still afraid of owning their own power, still of afraid of being called a “bitch” or not being feminine or not being spiritual. Which in reality translates into being afraid to say no to the people around them who are actually stepping on their toes!
Are you angry at yourself? Some of you may respond "no" while others may recognize that you do carry anger towards yourself. Yet, even with acknowledging the presence of anger, do we really realize the depth and extent of the anger we carry?
You’re at the park with the kids. Everyone’s having fun, and then a strange dog appears. There’s no owner around. It’s eyeballing the kids. Immediately your threat system becomes activated.
Oh, dear! I did it again. Shifted gears. Things were going along smoothly, everyone was feeling good, the vibrations were pleasant and then I shifted gears. I guess you could say that I shifted into reverse. Someone said something that "pushed my button", and I shifted out of a positive and calm head-space, into one where anger and...
Most differences between family and friends rarely end in serious squabbles. But let the conversation turn to political parties and lively disagreements can get downright ugly.
When you’re living an aware life, it’s important to avoid black holes that tend to pull you down into a churning mess of negative emotions. It’s very easy in this hectic world to get sucked into a momentum of negativity until that’s all you can focus on.
The manic nature of Black Friday has often led shoppers to engage in fistfights and other misbehavior in their desperation to snatch up the last ultra-discounted television, computer or pair of pants.
Anger is in everyone’s emotional constitution to one degree or another. It oozes out in big and little ways, no matter how valiant the attempt to disguise it. It shows up when you act meanspirited, inconsiderate or bossy, or when you just find yourself frustrated about...
Everyone knows someone with a quick temper – it might even be you. And while scientists have known for decades that aggression is hereditary, there is another biological layer to those angry flare-ups: self-control.
How can we motivate ourselves to overcome anger? We might begin by considering the nature of anger to see whether it is a necessary, helpful, or pleasant state of mind. In other words, does anger improve the quality of our lives in any way?
by Marie T. Russell. "Don't tell me what to do!" We've heard that said many times... we've even said it, and at times when we didn't say it, we thought it! "Don't bug me! Don't get on my case! Don't tell me what to do!" Sounds like a teenager speaking... ah! but it is! It's that inner teenager that most of us still carry around inside.
by Dean Van Leuven. In dealing with another person's anger, it's important to be aware of the fact that the other person wants something to come out of their relationship with you. The key is to understand their expectations, and to help them understand yours. Such mutual understanding is brought about by...
by Amy B. Trachter, Psy.D., Ph.D. Anger is an extremely powerful emotion. It can energize you in a way that most emotions do not. Think of all the energy you use when you are angry. Now think of what you could do with that energy if it were directed in a way that was beneficial to you. You can choose to handle your anger in a way that is helpful to you, or not...
The ability to see your own anger is critically important. Anger takes many forms: irritation, lack of patience, refusal to communicate, holding a grudge, making fun of someone, manipulation of another, criticism, blame, complaints...
Mediation is appropriate in cases of miscommunication or misunderstandings, to clear up hurt feelings and hurtful interactions. Mediation implies that we can find a win-win solution, that no one is either completely right or completely wrong and that both parties can come to share a mutual purpose.
A young Japanese man named Shui was riding on a crowded train when a belligerent drunk made his way through the train car and began to rough up passengers. Shui had studied martial arts for many years, yet never before had he been forced into a public confrontation. Shui felt his blood begin to boil, and...