Why Violence and Mental Illness Are A Harsh Reality

Why Violence And Mental Illness Is A Harsh RealityThe violent and senseless death of 11-year-old Luke Batty in Victoria has not only drawn attention to the serious problem of family violence but has also raised questions about the role that undiagnosed or untreated mental illness may have played in his father’s behaviour.

Here's How To Tell If You Are A Bully

 Here's How To Tell If  You Are A Bully
From the playground to government, bullying exists everywhere. In fact, a recent report into bullying in the UK’s parliament revealed just how serious this problem is, urging behavioural change among MPs. But why is bullying so widespread and difficult to tackle? Part of the problem is that bullies sometimes don’t even realize that they are bullies.

Hatred Is A Choice: I Hate It When...

Hatred Is A Choice: I Hate It When...
I find myself thinking on occasion, "I hate it when...." We use the word hate easily... We hate a certain kind of ice cream, we hate tofu, we hate hurting ourselves, we hate being late, we hate... This is where I realized that anything that we profess to "hate" is simply a preference on our part.

Are You Choosing Anger and Judgment over Happiness?

Are You Choosing Anger and Judgment over Happiness?
The decision to choose anger over happiness is based on one factor, and that one factor is judgment. Does this person meet my expectations or not? Does this situation please me or not? Does this event conform to my morally correct and spiritually advanced view of the world or not? We basically organize our lives into two giant categories: people and things we like and people and things we don't like.

How Misogyny, Narcissism And A Desperate Need For Power Make Men Abuse Women Online

How Misogyny, Narcissism And A Desperate Need For Power Make Men Abuse Women Online

“Another morning, another bit of casual misogyny & abuse”, ABC journalist Leigh Sales lamented last week after receiving a tweet accusing her of “virtually” performing sexual acts on her 7.30 guests. Sales’s comments draw our attention back to the abuse routinely encountered by women, people of colour and LGBTQ people on social media. Indeed, such online encounters appear to be so routine for journalists such as Sales that they are a mundane occurrence.

Anger as a Tool for Growth, not Destruction

Anger as a Tool for Growth, not Destruction
Everyone gets angry. Some people show it openly and others don't. In relationship, anger can be either healthy or unhealthy. How you process it is what determines whether it becomes a tool for growth or a source of pain and destruction.

Anger: Love It, Then Leave It

Anger: Love It, Then Leave It
When we do not allow ourselves to experience emotions and suppress them instead, our souls create situations in which we are forced to feel them. That being the case, simply allowing ourselves to have the feeling might allow the energy to move through us and the so-called problem to...

What Are The Lessons Within The Anger Impulse?

What Are The Lessons Within Your Impulse To Anger?
Anger is more often than not a symptom of profound disappointment. In many cases, it can also represent a feeling of inferiority or an inability to express frustration in an educated or controlled way. Sometimes it’s just an instance of someone being emotionally...

Notice Your Anger: It Is A Path to Awareness

Notice Your Anger: It Is A Path to Awareness
If we could see our angry emotional reactions clearly, it would become obvious that they deplete us and narrow our life. Yet, in spite of the fact that we hurt ourselves and others with our anger, we hold on to this restricting emotion with a puzzling tenacity.

How To Respond to Criticism Without Being Defensive

How To Respond to Criticism Without Being Defensive
In an actual war, to be attacked means to have our survival threatened. Thus, we might chose between surrender, withdrawal, or counterattack. When we feel attacked (criticized or judged) by others in conversation, we often move into that same...

Wilde About Letting Go

Wilde About Letting Go
Letting go is a hard one. Every part of humanity is designed to hang on. We hang on to our family connections, to the certificate we got at school, to our money, we embrace and hang on to our children, we lock our car and hang on to it. I think the whole definition of letting go is to stand outside the emotion.

How To Let Go of Anger and Hatred and Create Loving-Friendliness

How To Let Go of Anger and Hatred and Create Loving-FriendlinessWe can replace angry or hostile thoughts with thoughts of loving-friendliness. Loving-friendliness radiates to the whole world the wish that all beings enjoy a comfortable life with harmony, mutual appreciation, and appropriate abundance. Though we all have the seed of loving-friendliness within us, we must make the effort to cultivate it.

Why Wanting Revenge Is Only Natural

Why Wanting Revenge Is Only NaturalRevenge in fiction can be shocking, but it often embeds a moral message. There is heroic revenge, a staple of the American movie world, in which the determined hero or anti-hero acts against an evil protagonist (the law being ineffective or absent).

Getting Rid of Road Rage: Start Where You Are

Getting Rid of Road Rage: Start Where You AreLook at the people in other cars in front of you, behind you, passing around you, and recognize that each one of them is just like you: They want happiness and they want to be free from suffering. To each person you focus on say or think something like...

How To Work and Deal With Difficult People

How To Work and Deal With Difficult PeopleWe touch the real heart of compassion when we can engage with someone who is suffering from carrying so much aggression, so much negativity, so much emotion that they can’t help but cause trouble and drive people away. If you can approach such a person and give them some support...

The Gift of Patience: Patience Guards the Door to Anger

The Gift of Patience: Patience Guards the Door to AngerIt was only when I began to study patience closely that I came to see how anger and patience are related. In fact, anger is the direct consequence of losing our patience. For it is precisely because we don’t have tolerance for something or someone that we get mad...

Why There Are Costs To Moral Outrage

Why There Are Costs To Moral OutrageMany Americans are morally outraged that U.S. President Donald Trump fired former FBI Director James Comey, who had been investigating possible links between Trump’s election campaign and the Russian government.

How To Be Calm and Clear Inside No Matter What’s Happening Outside

How To Be Calm and Clear Inside Regardless of What’s Happening OutsideYour decision to remain calm inside regardless of what’s happening outside makes you larger than circumstances. You’re able to move through misfortune without it dragging you down, dampening your spirit, or blocking your path. Your calm allows you to...

Resentment: A Seething Monster that Lurks in the Shadows of Our Heart

Resentment: A Seething Monster that Lurks in the Shadows of Our HeartThe danger with anger is not that we have it, but that we may not choose to release it. We feed anger with our doubts and fears. We create stories about the insult and injury we experienced. The resentment becomes a self-righteous retreat...

How and Why To Become More Tolerant and Patient

Changing Our Attitude: Becoming More Tolerant & PatientFirst of all, most of us have views and opinions about everything and everyone. Because of this tendency to judge, we are continually deciding whether we approve of or like each experience as it occurs. Wherever we go and whatever we do, our internal "critic" is saying, "I don't like this," or "I don't approve of that."

Why People Engage In Trolling Behavior

Why People Engage In Trolling Behavior“Fail at life. Go bomb yourself.” The ConversationComments like this one, found on a CNN article about how women perceive themselves, are prevalent today across the internet

How to Melt Anger and Boost Love

How to Melt Anger and Boost LovePhysically wanting to strike out or viewing other people, things, or situations as enemies isn’t going to get you where you want to go. In fact, it could land you up in prison or equally worse, locked up in an emotional prison of being alone forever...

The Mere Stress Of Sitting In Traffic Can Lead To More Crime

The Mere Stress Of Sitting In Traffic Can Lead To More CrimeSociety pays a heavy price for traffic. It leads to lost time, more pollution and increased spending on gasoline. But there may be yet another hidden cost of traffic.

Why Alcohol Leads To More Violence Than Other Drugs

Why Alcohol Leads To More Violence Than Other DrugsMainstream media tend to report more stories about illicit drugs than alcohol. This is despite one study finding 47% of homicides in Australia over a six-year period were alcohol-related.

Why and How to Stop Focusing on Differences

Focusing on Differences Creates Disharmony or Joy?The penchant for human beings to discover how unalike they are, how distinct they are - it all has to do with ego. Where we need to put the energy now is in how similar we are...

How To Keep Your Angry Social Media Posts In Check

How To Keep Your Angry Social Media Posts In CheckA study that investigated how messages containing different emotions spread across social networks found that “anger is more influential than other emotions like joy, which indicates that angry tweets can spread quickly and broadly in the network”.

To Deal With Election Anger, Try A Little Tenderness and Neuroscience

To Deal With Election Anger Try A Little TendernessThe vitriolic presidential campaign left many of us feeling anger, and the election of Donald J. Trump as President hasn’t erased it. Hearing about or seeing vicious personal attacks, criticism of parents who have lost a child to war, accusations of fraud and talk of sexual assault have affected our psyches, souls and bodies.

The Difficulty of Forgiveness: Seeing Through Their Eyes

The Difficulty of Forgiveness: Seeing Through Their EyesMost people will categorically agree that one of the most difficult emotions to express is forgiveness. More lives have been destroyed by bitterness and the inability to forgive than perhaps any other negative emotion. Even the most minuscule issues that we refuse to let go of can poison...

Handle With Care Words That Insult, Offend And Wound

Handle With Care Words That Insult, Offend And WoundOur linguistic and legal obsession with “insult” and “offence” is nothing new. In 1832, Sydney resident William McLoughlin was given 50 lashes for using the word “damned” against his master.

Anger's Gift & The Dance of Love

Anger's Gift & The Dance of LoveSometimes what looks like a fight is only the fierceness of love. We have moved from a condition of silent hostility, buried resentment, and covert low-intensity warfare to open conflict. We are wrestling together, changing roles in the hay, engaging in honest intercourse, yessing and k(no)wing each other. And contact is the first condition of love.

Freedom from the Grip of Anger

Freedom from the Grip of AngerIf there is one emotion that seems to get out of control, it is anger. We express it, and then we regret it. Repressing anger does no good. It just builds up, and then we feel as if we have a bomb that’s about to explode. Can we put unwanted anger to rest?

Are You Sure You're Really Feeling Anger?

Are You Sure You're Really Feeling Anger?So many women are still afraid of being called angry, still afraid of owning their own power, still of afraid of being called a “bitch” or not being feminine or not being spiritual. Which in reality translates into being afraid to say no to the people around them who are actually stepping on their toes!

Why We Feel Rage And How To Control It

Why We Feel Rage And How To Control ItYou’re at the park with the kids. Everyone’s having fun, and then a strange dog appears. There’s no owner around. It’s eyeballing the kids. Immediately your threat system becomes activated.

Why We Blow Up When We Argue About Politics

Why We Blow Up When We Argue About PoliticsMost differences between family and friends rarely end in serious squabbles. But let the conversation turn to political parties and lively disagreements can get downright ugly.

How To Keep from Getting Sucked into Your Rage

How To  Keep from Getting Sucked into Your RageWhen you’re living an aware life, it’s important to avoid black holes that tend to pull you down into a churning mess of negative emotions. It’s very easy in this hectic world to get sucked into a momentum of negativity until that’s all you can focus on.

Why Black Friday Leads Shoppers To Behave Badly

Why Black Friday Leads Shoppers To Behave Badly

The manic nature of Black Friday has often led shoppers to engage in fistfights and other misbehavior in their desperation to snatch up the last ultra-discounted television, computer or pair of pants.

Genes May Point the Way to Control of Anger & Aggression

Genes May Point the Way to Anger, Aggression & Control

Everyone knows someone with a quick temper – it might even be you. And while scientists have known for decades that aggression is hereditary, there is another biological layer to those angry flare-ups: self-control.

Anger: Friend or Foe?

Anger: Friend or Foe?

How can we motivate ourselves to overcome anger? We might begin by considering the nature of anger to see whether it is a necessary, helpful, or pleasant state of mind. In other words, does anger improve the quality of our lives in any way?

Learning to Shift from Anger to Love

Learning to Shift from Anger to Love

Anger is in everyone’s emotional constitution to one degree or another. It oozes out in big and little ways, no matter how valiant the attempt to disguise it. It shows up when you act meanspirited, incon­siderate or bossy, or when you just find yourself frustrated about...

A Shortcut to Living the Peaceful Life: Changing Our Minds

A Shortcut to Living the Peaceful Life: Changing Our MindsChanging our thoughts can be as easy as A, B, C. And that's the key to creating a different set of experiences that leads to the different life many of us deserve. One of my favorite ideas from A Course in Miracles is...

In Cases of Miscommunication or Misunderstandings, Mediation May Be Appropriate

In Cases of Miscommunication or Misunderstandings, Mediation May Be Appropriate -- by Starhawk.

Mediation is appropriate in cases of miscommunication or misunderstandings, to clear up hurt feelings and hurtful interactions. Mediation implies that we can find a win-win solution, that no one is either completely right or completely wrong and that both parties can come to share a mutual purpose.

How To Eliminate Blame In Your Life

How To Eliminate Blame In Your LifeBecause blame can appear as every­thing from an arched eyebrow or a cynical sigh to a shouted accu­sation, identifying blame is not a simple task. And taking steps to eliminate it takes sustained effort. Here's how to deal with blame...

Two Sides of a Prison Wall

A young Japanese man named Shui was riding on a crowded train when a belligerent drunk made his way through the train car and began to rough up passengers. Shui had studied martial arts for many years, yet never before had he been forced into a public confrontation. Shui felt his blood begin to boil, and...

Don't Tell Me What To Do!

Don't Tell Me What To Do!

by Marie T. Russell. "Don't tell me what to do!" We've heard that said many times... we've even said it, and at times when we didn't say it, we thought it! "Don't bug me! Don't get on my case! Don't tell me what to do!" Sounds like a teenager speaking... ah! but it is! It's that inner teenager that most of us still carry around inside.

Dealing With Other People's Anger

Dealing With Other People's Anger

by Dean Van Leuven. In dealing with another person's anger, it's important to be aware of the fact that the other person wants something to come out of their relationship with you. The key is to understand their expectations, and to help them understand yours. Such mutual understanding is brought about by...

Shifting Gears: Going Backwards or Forward?

Shifting Gears: Going Backwards or Forward?Oh, dear! I did it again. Shifted gears. Things were going along smoothly, everyone was feeling good, the vibrations were pleasant and then I shifted gears. I guess you could say that I shifted into reverse. Someone said something that "pushed my button", and I shifted out of a positive and calm head-space, into one where anger and...

Removing Anger From Your Life

Removing Anger From Your LifeA commitment to an anger-free life involves signing up for a new journey. Deciding to actually enjoy this journey will make it much more pleasant. Learn to think of life as a process. If you focus only on goals, you are not going to be happy until you have achieved them.

Finally Dissipating the Rage

Prior to about the age of nine and a half, I don't recall being a rage-filled kid. In fact, I remember being quite sensitive and frightened for the most part, with a general anxiety about living in the world. However, something occurred when I was nine and a half that set up a pattern for future behavior...

Assertion, Anger or Aggression? I Could See Peace Instead of This

Assertion, Anger or Aggression? by Karen Bentley

The ability to see your own anger is critically important. Anger takes many forms: irritation, lack of patience, refusal to communicate, holding a grudge, making fun of someone, manipulation of another, criticism, blame, complaints...

Any Fool Can Start a Fight

Any Fool Can Start a Fight

by Walton Lee. Nobody wants trouble. When confronted with a problem, keep this in mind -- that the people who initiate the conflict most likely don't want to be in that situation either. Find out the real cause of the disturbance and you may avoid...

How To Handle Anger

How To Handle Anger

by Amy B. Trachter, Psy.D., Ph.D. Anger is an extremely powerful emotion. It can energize you in a way that most emotions do not. Think of all the energy you use when you are angry. Now think of what you could do with that energy if it were directed in a way that was beneficial to you. You can choose to handle your anger in a way that is helpful to you, or not...

Blast Off To Freedom: Making a Conscious Choice Away from Anger

Blast Off To Freedom: Making a Conscious Choice Away from Anger

by Ellie Janow. I was aware for a long time of the miracles that resulted from practicing forgiveness and love before I tested this practice in my daily life. It was easier to talk about the philosophy of changing my perception than to actually live it, especially when...

How To Transform Negative Events Into A Positive Spiritual Response

How To Transform Negative Events and Negative People Into A Positive Spiritual ResponseWe have the strongest karmic connections with family members; therefore, we have a great responsibility for developing our relationships with them. If we cannot develop loving-kindness towards our family, why even talk about other being. Zen Buddhism teaches that everything we do, provided it is done with total awareness, is spiritual activity.

Following Anger and Desire Brings No Satisfaction

Following Anger & Desire Brings No SatisfactionThere is no mental peace when you do not control your mind but instead follow anger. There is peace, however, when you apply the meditations and teachings of the graduated path to enlightenment in your daily life and control your mind by practicing patience, loving kindness, and compassion.

Let It Begin With Me

Let It Begin With MeThere are many occasions in life where our "inner peace" is challenged. When I find myself in a situation where I would tend to react with anger, or judgment, or criticism, rather than react with anger, I silently sing to myself, "Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me."

How To Let Go Of Anger

How To Let Go Of AngerOne feeling in particular merits a special note: anger. If this feeling is a problem for you, you're not alone. It seems that modern life is full of poor expressions of anger.

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