What Should I Do If My Child Is A Cyberbully?

What Should I Do If My Child Is A Cyberbully?Cyberbullying has become a significant issue for young people learning to navigate a life that is increasingly online. Like bullying that occurs face-to-face, cyberbullying can have serious effects on the physical and mental health of victims.

Dealing with Fear: A Meditation Journey with Sekhmet

Dealing with Fear: A Meditation Journey with Sekhmet
Fear is one of our greatest teachers. From the time we have our first childhood lesson of keeping our hands off the hot stove to our mature ability to recognize danger and get out of the way, fear has earned our respect and has tremendous influence over our behavior. But sometimes fear holds us back...

Wilde About Letting Go

Wilde About Letting Go
Letting go is a hard one. Every part of humanity is designed to hang on. We hang on to our family connections, to the certificate we got at school, to our money, we embrace and hang on to our children, we lock our car and hang on to it. I think the whole definition of letting go is to stand outside the emotion.

When You Have to Choose: Feeling Your Way to a Decision

When You Have to Choose: Feeling Your Way to a Decision
The way you think about decisions gives you a remarkable decision-making super power that enables you to make decisions with confidence even when you have just the smallest glimpse of data. As a matter of fact it’s so good that, if you were the only one who had it, you could charge a fortune on your own psychic hotline. Fortunately for the rest of us, we all come hard-wired with this amazing capability, and all we have to do is learn to use it effectively.

Learning To See Everything Differently

Learning To See Everything Differently
Is there anything going on in your life that just wears you out? A thankless job, a chronic illness, a troubled rela­tionship? Have you gone over and over this situation or circumstance without finding a solution or a way out?

What You Need To Know About Compulsive Shopping

What You Need To Know About Compulsive Shopping

Many people will have hit the shops or gone online to bag a bargain in the January sales over the last few weeks and may now be feeling the pinch until their next payday.

Dismantle the Memory of the Old You and Become the New You

Dismantle the Memory of the Old You and Become the New You
Just because you have a thought doesn’t necessarily mean it is true. Most thoughts are just old circuits in your brain that have become hardwired by your repetitive volition. Thus, you have to ask yourself, “Is this thought true, or is it just what I think and believe while I am feeling this way?"

Why More Men Are Wearing Makeup Than Ever Before

Why More Men Are Wearing Makeup Than Ever Before
Male grooming is now a multi-billion worldwide industry, thanks to a growing number of men spending more on their appearance. Face wash, moisturiser, pore strips and hair removal products are now commonly featured in many a man’s bathroom cabinet – and now also, makeup.

How You Too Can Experience the Comfort of Forgiveness

A Healing Adventure: Experiencing the Comfort of Forgiveness
When the stock market plummeted in 2003 and I lost a third of my savings, I had a very hard time getting over the fact that I didn’t see it coming. Some young part of myself still believed I should be all powerful and all knowing. It’s a form of magical thinking many of us have developed...

These 5 Tips May Help You Finally Quit Smoking

These 5 Tips May Help You Finally Quit SmokingQuitting smoking is a popular New Year’s resolution—but many have trouble sticking with it. “Many people underestimate how difficult it is to not only quit smoking, but to maintain the change.”

Are Your Health Resolutions Really A Free Choice?

Are Your Health Resolutions Really A Free Choice?Modern citizenship in the West increasingly involves a duty to care for ourselves – to eat healthily, exercise enough and even screen ourselves for disease – to minimize our health-care costs to the state.

The Pressure of "Should": The Voice of Ego's Difficult Dictator

The Pressure of "Should": The Voice of Ego's Difficult Dictator
It is vital that we learn to tell the difference between a prompt­ing from our Spirits and one coming from the fearful ego — our own, or those of others. Any call to action not coming through your Spirit as inspiration can probably be labeled as a should, an...

Life Is Like A GPS: You're On A Need-To-Know Basis

Life Is Like A GPS: You're On A Need To Know BasisA while back, in a conversation with my inner guidance, I was trying to find out some specifics on a project that I was working on. As in, when is this going to take place? Who's going to be handling it? Where is it going to be done? When is it going to be complete? All questions that my restless mind wanted to know. NOW!

Rethinking Gratitude This New Year

Rethinking Gratitude This New YearIt’s a new year, which means that it’s also time to imagine new beginnings and better futures. It’s time, in short, for New Year’s resolutions. Gratitude, in particular, has become a popular resolution. For many of us, living gratefully seems to promise more happiness in our lives. But what if we’ve got gratitude all wrong?

Don’t Let The Past Define The Present

Don’t Let The Past Define The Present
Don’t let the past define the present. This is such an obvious idea that when I first encoun­tered it my reaction was, “Of course! That’s not new information.” And then I promptly fell back into my nor­mal way of seeing life that was through the lens of the past. I did this so unconsciously that I honestly didn’t see how powerful my attachment to the past had become over the years.

Why Do You Check Your Phone 150 Times a Day?

Why Do You Check Your Phone 150 Times a Day?Do you really have sovereignty over own your mind anymore? Tristan Harris, a design thinker and former ethicist at Google, points to how smart phones changed our contract with advertisers, and our relationship with reality.

Why We Love Holiday Rituals And Traditions

Why We Love Holiday Rituals And Traditions

The mere thought of holiday traditions brings smiles to most people’s faces and elicits feelings of sweet anticipation and nostalgia. We can almost smell those candles, taste those special meals, hear those familiar songs in our minds.

Charles Dickens Did Not Invent Christmas – But His Seasonal Ghosts Are Still Relevant

Charles Dickens Did Not Invent Christmas – But His Seasonal Ghosts Are Still RelevantAt this time of year, readers worldwide turn to Charles Dickens, and A Christmas Carol in particular. Such is Dickens’ association with the season that a new film has even credited him with being “The Man Who Invented Christmas” with his famous tale. So did he? And what did Dickens really tell us in the pages of A Christmas Carol?

Here's What Psychiatrists Have To Say About The Holiday Blues

Here's What Psychiatrists Have To Say About The Holiday BluesThis time of the year brings a lot of changes to the usual day-to-day life of hundreds of millions of people: The weather is colder, trees are naked, snowy days become plentiful and friendly critters are less visible around the neighborhood.

Why Doing Good Can Do You Good

Why Doing Good Can Do You GoodWe feel good when we do a good deed, so there must be a psychological benefit to helping others? But how can we know for sure? The best way to study the health benefits of kind deeds is to look at studies of volunteering.

Why You Believe Lies You Hear More Often

Why You Believe Lies You Hear More OftenEven if you think of yourself as a human lie detector, there are some untruths that will sneak under the hood. For that, you can thank your brain, and it's absolute adoration for all things familiar, says Derek Thompson, senior editor at The Atlantic.

Can Math Predict What You’ll Do Next?

Can Math Predict What You’ll Do Next?Good scientists are not only able to uncover patterns in the things they study, but to use this information to predict the future.

How To (and Why) See Things from a Different Perspective

How To (and Why) See Things from a Different PerspectiveThose who recover the best from painful events are those who find something meaningful in the experience. The exercise below helps us see events and circumstances from a different perspective and find meaning in what otherwise might seem to be baffling or meaningless events.

Learn to Let Go of Painful Memories and Be Happy

Painful Memory: Let It Go & Be HappyPeople set themselves up for difficulties through their memories of pain. For instance, in the past, you or someone you know may have lost money, a job, a house, or a relationship. These issues, rife with fear and other negative emotions, establish a deep pattern in memory and...

Your Face Makes the First Impression—What Does It Say?

Your Face Makes the First Impression—What Does It Say? So in the early days, including from the time of Aristotle and later in the 16th and 17th century most of physiognomy consisted of this whimsical comparisons between the physiognomy of humans and animals.

Easing Fear in Children (and Adults)

Easing Fear in Children (and Adults)Many of the fears that parents have and try to hide from their children are not quite hidden. Emotional fears, financial, or any fear at all is picked up on by children. The good news is that fear is normal. We all have fears...

Only the Shadow Knows: Befriending Your Shadow

Befriending the Shadow SelfConformity is how we have been conditioned to participate in a false sense of security which results in us being out of integrity with ourselves. On a deep, unconscious level we are aware of this and this awareness largely informs our suffering.

Why Addiction May Be A Matter Of Motivation, Not Habit

Why Addiction May Be A Matter Of Motivation, Not HabitMotivation, rather than habit, drives addictive behavior in the face of adverse consequences and constantly changing circumstances, new research suggests. “We’re challenging the definition of addiction as a habit…”

Connecting With and Reclaiming Your Navigational System

Connecting With and Reclaiming Your Navigational SystemNo submarine could operate without its sonar, no driver with­out maps and signs. Yet most of us arrive at adulthood with many of our inner signal readers numbed out — or totally blocked.

How To Calm Your Emotions

anxiety 11 16Being by yourself—even for just 15 minutes—may decrease your strong positive and negative emotions, and instead reduce stress and induce calm, a new study suggests.

People With Depression Report Wanting To Work Out

People With Depression Report Wanting To Work OutMental health providers may want to take a closer look at including exercise in their patients’ treatment plans, a new study suggests. “Physical activity has been shown to be effective in alleviating mild to moderate depression and anxiety.”

Kindness Matters -- So Does Appreciation, Respect, Listening, And Generosity.

Kindness Matters -- So Does Appreciation, Respect, Listening, And Generosity.The relationship with your guides is equivalent in many ways to your relationships with other people. It is very important to express your gratitude daily. These two points are so important, I want to drive them home by sharing a not-so-comfortable experience of mine from a few years ago, when I had a major meltdown about money.

The Universe Rewards Us for Giving and for Gratitude

The Universe Rewards Us for Giving and for GratitudeHave you ever heard the saying “You get what you give”? This short saying is true. When you do nice things for others for unselfish reasons, the Universe will reward you tenfold.

The Endless Circle Of Grace: Surrender, Acceptance and Peace

The Endless Circle Of Grace: Surrender, Acceptance and PeaceReoccurring demands and challenges can be particularly frustrating. Everyone knows what it feels like to go two steps forward and one step back. Your frustrations are actually the key to finding inner freedom. Each one requires surrender and acceptance.

Shame: It's Unhealthy, Self-Destructive & Extremely Toxic

Shame: It's Unhealthy, Self-Destructive & Extremely ToxicShame is an unhealthy and extremely toxic emotion that makes a person very sick inside. It plays out in families and in society in a self-destructive and violent way, and it is at the root of addiction as well as all forms of abuse. You can heal your shame...

Why Wanting Revenge Is Only Natural

Why Wanting Revenge Is Only NaturalRevenge in fiction can be shocking, but it often embeds a moral message. There is heroic revenge, a staple of the American movie world, in which the determined hero or anti-hero acts against an evil protagonist (the law being ineffective or absent).

We Owe These 5 Research Discoveries To Twins

We owe these 5 research discoveries to twinsTwin research has led to all kinds incredible insights into an important mystery: nature vs. nurture or how the environment and our genes affect our health.

Why The Clocks Changing Are Great For Your Brain

Why The Clocks Changing Are Great For Your BrainOctober is a dismal time of year. The clocks go back, which accelerates the onset of darker evenings and the “shorter days” inevitably lead to calls for the tradition of putting clocks forward or backward to stop.

How To Measure The Implicit Biases We May Not Even Be Aware We Have

How To Measure The Implicit Biases We May Not Even Be Aware We HaveWhen most people think of bias, they imagine an intentional thought or action – for example, a conscious belief that women are worse than men at math or a deliberate decision to pull someone over because of his or her race.

Can We Stop Hiding and Connect through the Joy of NonAttachment?

Perfectly Imperfect Connections: The Joy of NonAttachmentThe first step to connection is to open ourselves to the possibility that we can survive the hurts and failures that inevitably accompany our humanity and that of those around us. Self-protection, in the long run, is self-destruction. If we hide out long enough...

What Rape Culture Says About Masculinity

What Rape Culture Says About MasculinityThe phrase “rape culture” elicits strong responses. Prominent among them are confusion, scoffs, anger and even anonymous vitriol from internet “haters.”

Priming the Deep Wellspring of the Heart

Priming the Deep Wellspring of the HeartAlthough the energy field of the heart has been proven to be quite powerful, in our culture today the voice of the heart is often muted or ignored altogether. When our heart’s intelligence isn’t activated, we can easily feel confused, or we may listen only to the voice of the head telling us what we should do.

How To Let Yourself Off the Hook Using Forgiveness

Forgive and Let Yourself Off the HookIf you think of forgiveness as “letting someone off the hook,” you believe that you are doing someone else a favor by forgiving them. After all, they are really guilty and deserve your judgment and condemnation.

Dealing With The Fear Of Disapproval And Other Challenges

Dealing With The Fear Of Disapproval And Other ChallengesMany people mistakenly think or fear that their choices and behavior will displease others and be the cause of another person's displeasure or unhappiness. It could be their partner, their parents, their children, their friends. The fear is that if you or I do what feels best to us – it might make someone else unhappy.

How To Free Ourselves By Forgiving Others

How To Free Ourselves By Forgiving OthersThere are few emotions as uncomfortable as resentment. An old say­ing sums it up well: "We drink the poison and then wait for the other person to die." Resenting others, we do poison ourselves. When our energy is spent on...

Does Color Really Affect Our Mind And Body?

Does Color Really Affect Our Mind And Body?Blue light has been claimed to reduce suicides on train stations. Red makes the heart beat faster. You will frequently find this and other claims made for the effects of different colours on the human mind and body. But is there any scientific evidence and data to support such claims?

Are All Working Class Men Too Macho and Tough To Seek Help?

Are All Working Class Men Too Macho and Tough To Seek Help?Men are bad at looking after their health, or so the received wisdom goes. Indeed, evidence has shown that men have significantly higher death rates than women from cancer due to delays in seeking medical help.

The Desire for Safety, Security and Authenticity

authenticityBecause of recent global financial upheavals, people are more aware than ever of their need to feel that the ground beneath them won’t open up and swallow them whole. Even those who know they can count on friends, family, and community to support them in a time of crisis long to...

Why People Like Government Nudges To Change Their Behavior?

Why People Like Government Nudges To Change Their Behavior?Richard Thaler of the University of Chicago won the Nobel Prize for his extraordinary, world-transforming work in behavioral economics. Thaler demonstrated how nudging – or influencing people while fully maintaining freedom of choice – “may help people exercise better self-control when saving for a pension, as well in other contexts.”

Get Rid of Ambiguity and Feel Good About The Choices You Make

Get Rid of Ambiguity and Feel Good About The Choices You MakePart of your life isn’t work­ing. The part of your life I’m talking about is wherever dissatisfaction and doubt are making you spin in circles, feeling dissatisfied with whatever you have, or stuck in doubt about what you should do. Where in your life do you feel that way?

Hollywood Stuntman’s Fear Blocking Technique

Hollywood Stuntman’s Fear Blocking TechniqueI feel fear exactly as you do. I’m certainly no daredevil, despite what you might expect of a member of The Hollywood Stuntmen’s Hall of Fame! Nor am I an “adrenaline junkie,” despite the Guinness World Records I hold.

Your Pain Body and Your Joy Body: Which One Will You Feed?

Your Pain Body and Your Joy Body: Which One Will You Feed?Almost everyone carries accumulations of old emotional pain, what Eckhart Tolle calls the “pain-body.” This pain-body feeds on what has happened in the past, and feeds on negative thinking and drama in relationships. Your joy-body stores family, ancestral, and collective joy. It feeds on positive, transporting experience.

Real Beauty Doesn't Need To Be Retouched

real beauty 10 7
The giant global photographic agency, Getty Images, has announced it plans to ban retouching of images of models “to make them look thinner or larger”.

How Child Abuse Can Alter The Adult Brain

child abuse 10 2Child abuse and other traumatic childhood experiences may alter the brain, making the effects of trauma last into adulthood.

Criticism Leads to Anxiety, Fear, and Unhappiness

Criticism Leads to Anxiety and FearLiving with anxiety and fear creates unhappiness and despair in all our relationships. However, most of us suffer from too much anxiety and fear primarily because our communications provoke these destructive emotions through criticism, accusa­tion, punishment and humiliation. So reducing the anxiety and fear caused by...

Squirrels, Like Humans, Use Chunking To Organize Their Nuts

Squirrels, Like Humans, Use Chunking To Organize Their NutsFox squirrels are a lot more organized than we thought—storing their stashes of nuts by variety, quality, and possibly even by preference. A new study is the first to show evidence that squirrels arrange their bounty—at least 3,000 to 10,000 nuts a year—using “chunking”...

Getting Sober and Remembering What Is Real

Getting Sober and Remembering What Is RealWhen an event sobers us, it dashes cold water on our face to extricate us from the drunkenness of the meaningless activities we often engage in. We are awakened from the addictive behaviors we use to distract ourselves from our pain.

The Challenge Of Being The Caregiver

The Challenge Of Being The CaregiverAlmost in disbelief we were confronted by Barry’s diagnosis of throat and thyroid cancer, which within weeks lead to many medical consultations, pathology tests, ultrasounds and on to surgery. As his partner and then caregiver, the challenge of supporting him through that journey was daunting.

Getting Rid of Road Rage: Start Where You Are

Getting Rid of Road Rage: Start Where You AreLook at the people in other cars in front of you, behind you, passing around you, and recognize that each one of them is just like you: They want happiness and they want to be free from suffering. To each person you focus on say or think something like...

Don’t Take Anything Personally and Learn To Listen!

Don’t Take Anything Personally but Learn To Listen!Imagine for a moment all the things you say or don’t say, and all the things you do or don’t do in one day because of what others might say about you. If you wrote out a list, it might take a long time. Do you realize how much power you give to other people’s opinions? What if you could recover that power?

What Fills Me With Joy

What Fills Me With JoyFor the most part, I live happily in a large life, with my energies and joys in so many areas of my personal and professional lives, yet I have worked for decades, non-stop, both through my own inner exploration and my formal academic education, to create my current inner and outer worlds.

Give Thanks For Your Body

Give Thanks For Your BodyThe practice of giving thanks for your body is particularly difficult for women, because our relationships with our bodies are fraught with so much difficulty and dissatisfaction. The media reinforces such an impossible and singu­lar image for young girls and women to live up to, and places so much emphasis on appearance, that virtually none of us—even if we happen to match the ideal—comes out unscathed.

Relieving Pain and Suffering in the World Through A Different View, A New Story

Relieving Pain and Suffering in the World Through A Different View, A New StoryFrom the Talmud we have the adage, “We do not see things as they are. We see them as we are.” Lacking this awareness, we can easily fall into the deception of regarding any particular worldview as the correct version of reality and defend it—sometimes with great ­hostility—by dismissing or denouncing the perspective of others. History is replete with examples of wars and other tragic tales caused by the collision of worldviews.

Can We Begin To Imagine A Politics Of Forgiveness?

Can We Begin To Imagine A Politics Of ForgivenessSome activists believe we must be constantly aggrieved to set right the injustices of the world—that good anger corrects bad anger. But an enlightened activism respectfully acknowl­edges all anger and sorrow while demonstrating the supe­rior strategy of mercy...

Can You Change the Effects of a Past Experience?

You Can Change the Effects of a Past ExperienceA past experience is stored in your memory like a video with a separate 'feelings' track, which releases these feelings whenever the memory-box is opened. This feelings track can be re-recorded, replacing the original. To do this, you simply go back to the time the event began and rerun...

Do Blame Attacks Include Criticism, Accusations and Humiliation?

The Wider Problem of Blame Attacks includes Criticism, Accusations, HumiliationBlame is a series of actions and reactions. They all work together to generate the Blame Syndrome. The three parts are: The Blame Attack (the initial criticism — no matter how minor); The Emotional Impact (negative feelings caused by being blamed); The Reactive Response (blame is fired back).

The Mental Health Impact Of Major Disasters Like Harvey And Irma

The Mental Health Impact Of Major Disasters Like Harvey And IrmaImmediately after a natural disaster, it’s normal to experience fear, anxiety, sadness or shock. However, if these symptoms continue for weeks to months following the event, they may indicate a more serious psychological issue.

On Getting Along With Fear and Developing Courage

On Getting Along With Fear and Developing CourageIf you’re anything like me, you haven’t gotten along too well with your fear up to now. You two may spend a lot of time together, but I doubt you’re very friendly. It doesn’t have to be that way.

How Everyday Language Casually Stigmatizes Obesity

How Everyday Language Casually Stigmatizes ObesityObesity is a highly stigmatized condition. Those with obesity are frequently subject to prejudice and ridicule at home, school, work and even from health care professionals.

How Our Unconscious Minds Are Prejudiced Against Benefit Claimants

How Our Unconscious Minds Are Prejudiced Against Benefit ClaimantsWithout us knowing, our brains are busy making associations. While on the surface we may sincerely believe that men and women are equal, or that people on benefits are just regular folks who happen to need help, our unconscious minds might not be so progressive.

How Chaos Can Be Your Friend and Powerful Ally

Learning to Recognize Chaos As A Friend and Powerful AllyThe Oxford dictionary defines chaos as complete disorder or confusion. In general when we speak of chaos we associate it with a negative state and negative energy. When someone says, “My life is chaotic” or “Chaos is everywhere” we understand that person to mean, “My life is a mess and I am a mess”.

Creating A New And Positive Relationship To Suffering Will Help You Heal

Creating A New And Positive Relationship To Suffering Will Help You HealIf we don’t grow from suffering, we die from it. Suffering can tether a person to the darker side of life so strongly that it makes passion and the enjoyment of life almost impossible. When you’re drowning in the depths of suffering, creativity and your Soul’s expression are the last things on your mind.

Can Our Light be Totally Eclipsed?

Can Our Light be Totally Eclipsed?A few weeks ago, Joyce and I got to experience the total eclipse high in the mountains of Idaho, in the exact center of the “zone of totality.” It was, for us, the experience of a lifetime. In our seventy-one years of living...

How To Go From Fear-Based Expectations to Heart-Based Experience

How To Go From Fear-Based Expectations to Heart-Based Experience
I want to share a story with you because it shows well the dance between our thoughts and outcomes, and illustrates the power of the heart. This story happened when I made a strong request to the universe to help me become more aware of how my thinking affected reality. Be careful what you ask of the universe!

Conquering the Inner Demon of Anxiety using Animals & Imagery

Conquering the Inner Demon of Anxiety using Animals & ImageryThe realization that my anxiety was caused by deeper feelings of lack of trust and fear of being hurt by others was not enough to allow me to wake up in the morning feeling rested and quiet inside. From my experience...

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FROM THE EDITORS

The Day Of Reckoning Has Come For The GOP
by Robert Jennings, InnerSelf.com
The Republican party is no longer a pro-America political party. It is an illegitimate pseudo-political party full of radicals and reactionaries whose stated goal is to disrupt, destabilize, and…
Why Donald Trump Could Be History's Biggest Loser
by Robert Jennings, InnerSelf.com
Updated July 2, 20020 - This whole coronavirus pandemic is costing a fortune, maybe 2 or 3 or 4 fortunes, all of unknown size. Oh yeah, and, hundreds of thousands, maybe a million, of people will die…
Blue-Eyes vs Brown Eyes: How Racism is Taught
by Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf
In this 1992 Oprah Show episode, award-winning anti-racism activist and educator Jane Elliott taught the audience a tough lesson about racism by demonstrating just how easy it is to learn prejudice.
A Change Is Gonna Come...
by Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf
(May 30, 2020) As I watch the news on the events in Philadephia and other cities in the country, my heart aches for what is transpiring. I know that this is part of the greater change that is taking…
A Song Can Uplift the Heart and Soul
by Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf
I have several ways that I use to clear the darkness from my mind when I find it has crept in. One is gardening, or spending time in nature. The other is silence. Another way is reading. And one that…