Are You A Chronic Worrier? Here's How To Remove The Worrier Mask

Are You A Chronic Worrier? Here's How To Remove The Worrier Mask
The Ageless Wisdom texts tell us that scarcely a person in the world is exempt from worry, and that worry is the cause of all planetary problems. There are Worriers of the common, everyday variety, and there are Worriers of the chronic type, where the black cloud hanging over their heads...

Do You Zombie Check Your Phone?

Do You Zombie Check Your Phone?
The most prominent reason users of all ages reach for their device is not to work, but to “zombie check”.

Throwing My Own Switch: Motivation, Mind, and Determination

Throwing My Own Switch: Motivation, Mind, and Determination
Many PhDs that I met during my recovery said that if your stroke affected your right side of your body, as mine did, you should do everything on the left, but that never made any sense to me. I wanted to regain full use and strength of my right side, and I couldn’t do that by always using my left.

Mistake Salad: True Perfection Has Space For Imperfection

Mistake Salad: True Perfection Has Space For Imperfection
Are you so sure your mistakes are just mistakes? Or could they be building blocks to a success beyond any you imagined? Everything is part of something bigger, and mistakes are no exception. Every minus is half of a plus, waiting for a stroke of vertical awareness

This Is Better Than an Apology

This Is Better Than an Apology
Why repair attempts are even more powerful than saying sorry. Everyone messes up. Any relationship involves two imperfect communicators capable of hurt feelings, frustration, or loneliness.

The Best Way To Ditch Bad Habits

The Best Way To Ditch Bad Habits
Come February, 80% of people will have given up giving up. So what can we learn from the 20% who make it?

Attaining Emotional Balance By Letting Our Emotions Flow

Attain Emotional Balance by Letting Your Emotions Flow
We as humans, just like the wildflowers, must bend and flow to the demands placed upon us by our environment. The body's ability to maintain an inner balance in the face of changing conditions of our environment...

Accepting Ourselves Completely, Inner Monster and All

Accepting Ourselves Completely, Inner Monster and All
We all have parts of ourselves that we prefer to remain hidden. We are all ashamed of certain things we have done or were done to us, or even feelings or thoughts we have had. We imagine that if people knew these things about us, they would not like us. We would be rejected, abandoned, judged or criticized.

Anger Obscures Your Mind and Leads You to Danger

Following Anger & Desire Brings No Satisfaction
There is no mental peace when you do not control your mind but instead follow anger. There is peace, however, when you apply the meditations and teachings of the graduated path to enlightenment in your daily life and control your mind by practicing patience, loving kindness, and compassion.

Finally Dissipating the Rage: Lessons I Learned

Finally Dissipating the Rage: Lessons I Learned
Prior to about the age of nine and a half, I don't recall being a rage-filled kid. In fact, I remember being quite sensitive and frightened for the most part, with a general anxiety about living in the world. However, something occurred when I was nine and a half that set up a pattern for future behavior...

New Year's Resolutions: Symbolic Gestures or Magical Thinking?

New Year's Resolutions: Symbolic Gestures or Magical Thinking?
“I will definitely give up smoking – that’s my New Year’s resolution,” she stated emphatically as she thumped her fist on the table to underline her determination. “All very well”, I thought, as I sat opposite her in my medical consulting room in October.

Reaching Out: Helping A Friend Who Seems Depressed

Reaching Out: Helping A Friend Who Seems Depressed
If you recognize that someone you love might be drowning beneath the surface, the question becomes: How can you help? Of course, every situation is different, so evaluate the best approach for yourself. However, the essence of helping others is simple...

Saying Thank You Does Make A Difference

Saying Thank You Does Make A Difference
Most of us were taught that saying “thank you” is simply the polite thing to do. But recent research in social psychology suggests that saying “thank you” goes beyond good manners

How To Let Go of Anger and Hatred and Create Loving-Friendliness

How To Let Go of Anger and Hatred and Create Loving-Friendliness
We can replace angry or hostile thoughts with thoughts of loving-friendliness. Loving-friendliness radiates to the whole world the wish that all beings enjoy a comfortable life with harmony, mutual appreciation, and appropriate abundance. Though we all have the seed of loving-friendliness within us, we must make the effort to cultivate it.

The Hidden Psychology Of The Christmas Poker face

The Hidden Psychology Of The Christmas Poker Face
Imagine the scene – gleeful children ripping open presents, harassed parents surveying the carnage of once-tidy homes, disgruntled relatives muttering disapproval into their third glass of sherry.

How Not To Overeat This Christmas

How Not To Overeat This Christmas
Christmas is notoriously a time of indulgence: there are all of the chocolates, cheese boards, mince pies, nuts, crisps – and that’s after you’ve already eaten your own body weight in Christmas dinner.

The Soul's Agenda: Learning to Trust Ourselves and Life Itself

Our Soul's Agenda
We lack self-trust because of the countless times we sold ourselves out, abandoned ourselves, ignored our intuition, refused to take appropriate action, forfeited our power. So, lacking self-trust, we are left to the hopeless device of trying to make everyone and everything conform to our need to feel safe.

2019 Christmas Shopping: All Records Broken?

Christmas shopping: all records broken
This year we expect that sales will break all records! However, we cannot help but think that this anniversary celebrates the coming to earth of one of humanity’s greatest avatars – who, additionally, lived in total poverty according to his own words.

Bullying Won't Be Curbed Until We Figure Out What Fuels It

Bullying Won't Be Curbed Until We Figure Out What Fuels It
In October 2019, a 14-year-old and an 18-year-old were charged with first-degree murder in the fatal stabbing of Devan Bracci-Selvey, who died in his mother’s arms outside his southern Ontario high school.

Completing A Karma: How Karma Repayment Works

Completing A Karma: How Karma Repayment Works
Karma usually comes with no warning even though it is essence directed. It frequently comes like a freight train rounding the bend and coming down the tracks with inexorable speed. The train is upon you before you can run away.

How Do People Make Decisions In Groups?

How People Make Decisions In Groups
Using a mathematical framework with roots in artificial intelligence and robotics, researchers have uncovered the process for how people make decisions in groups.

Why It Can Be Hard To Stop Eating Even When You're Full

Why It Can Be Hard To Stop Eating Even When You're FullAll foods are not created equal. Most are palatable, or tasty to eat, which is helpful because we need to eat to survive. For example, a fresh apple is palatable to most people and provides vital nutrients and calories.

Living With Fire and Facing Our Fears

Living With Fire And Facing Our Fears
It is only mid-November but we have to walk early to avoid the heat. A northerly wind picks up clouds of dust and pollen, sending dirty billows across the paddocks.

How To Transform Negative Events Into Loving-Kindness and Acceptance

How To Transform Negative Events and Negative People Into A Positive Spiritual Response
We have the strongest karmic connections with family members; therefore, we have a great responsibility for developing our relationships with them. If we cannot develop loving-kindness towards our family, why even talk about other being. Zen Buddhism teaches that everything we do, provided it is done with total awareness, is spiritual activity.

Are You As Grateful As You Deserve To Be?

Are You As Grateful As You Deserve To Be?
As a physician, I have helped to care for many patients and families whose lives have been turned upside down by serious illnesses and injuries.

Got Cravings? Use A Break-Your-Craving-State Technique

Got Cravings? Use A Break-Your-Craving-State Technique
When we enter a state of having intense food cravings, it is often because we are reacting to a particular trigger, such as an uncomfortable or disturbing interaction or the occurrence of a stressful event. We then go into a stressed state—perhaps our muscles in the belly, jaw, shoulders, or pelvis become clenched unconsciously or we find ourselves feeling numb or agitated.

Freedom From An Attachment to Guilt and Fear of Love

Freedom From An Attachment to Guilt & Fear of Love
'Our present thoughts and choices are the sole determiner of our present experience.' Because this statement is so foreign to how we usually approach life, I would like to give you an illustration from my own life.

Forgiving: It's Good For Your Health and Your Mind

Forgiving: It's Good For Your Health and Your Mind
As you forgive others, you are freeing yourself as well as them. As M. Scott Peck writes: 'The reason to forgive others is not for their sake .... The reason to forgive is for our own sake. For our own health. Because beyond that point needed for healing, if we hold on to our anger, we stop growing and our souls begin to shrivel.'

Choosing Gratefulness “In Spite Of”

Choosing Gratefulness “In Spite Of”
We can’t wait until everything is OK—with us or with the rest of the world—to feel thankful, or we will never experience it at all. “The world is too bent for unshadowed joy,” Lewis Smedes points out, and so we must catch and kiss our joy as it flies by, even in the midst of sorrow or suffering.

Choosing To Focus On Gratitude For Our Mistakes

Choosing To Focus On Gratitude For Our Mistakes
No one can go through this life without making mistakes. The important thing is to learn from them and feel gratitude for the learning. Some of our mistakes are financial, some educational. Some mistakes are because our actions hurt another person.

Do We Actually Grow From Adversity?

Do We Actually Grow From Adversity?
In our culture, there’s this idea that enduring a tragedy can be good for your personal growth. 

Male Imposters: The Secret Shame and Fear Of Not Being Good Enough

Male Imposters: The Secret Shame Of Not Being Good Enough
Although Imposter Syndrome (IS) has traditionally been seen as a female phenomenon, there isn’t an awful lot of hard data to confirm that women actually do experience this more than men. The reason that it is seen as a female condition is simply that the phenomenon was first discovered using research on women and it is a stereotype that seems to have stuck.

The Most Important Thing: Watching What We Say To Ourselves

Being Impeccable with Our Word and The Stories We Tell Ourselves
A few years ago, I was privileged to hear a speech by Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements. He stressed repeatedly that the most important thing for us to watch in regard to our conversation is not so much what we say to others, but what we say to ourselves...

The Proper Plate and The Right Attitude

The Proper Plate and The Right Attitude
When I heard this story, I stopped in my tracks. What a powerful model for compassion in action! I pray that I might be so sensitive to support others in their sense of well-being and transform potentially painful situations with a stroke of kindness.

How Deep Sleep Can Ease Your Anxious Brain

How Deep Sleep Can Ease Your Anxious Brain
While a full night of deep sleep stabilizes emotions, a sleepless one can trigger up to a 30% rise in anxiety levels, a new study shows.

Five Ways Rudeness Can Actually Be A Positive Experience

Five Ways Rudeness Can Actually Be A Positive Experience
From swearing to insults, most of us have experienced rudeness in some form or another at work, out in public or online. Much of the research examining rudeness has focused on its negative effects and with good reason – there are plenty of them.

This Moment Is This Moment: It Will Never Be Like This Again

This Moment Is This Moment: It Will Never Be Like This Again
The ancient Greeks spoke of two kinds of time, or two experiences of time: chronos and kairos. Chronos is what we now call clock time, objective time. In music, chronos is met­ronome time. Kairos is timeliness, the opportune moment that surges out from our experience, something that cannot happen at any time but only at this time. Educators call it the teachable moment.

Unconditional Love Is A Way Of Serving One Another, Humanity and The World

Unconditional Love: A Way Of Serving One Another, Humanity and The World
A time comes in our personal development when we realize that we are not isolated, independent individuals, but rather that we are all interdependent. We then experience genuine care and concern for others, become more aware of the larger whole and feel a deep desire to share our riches, whatever they may be, with others.

How To Awaken on Your Path and Dare To Be Yourself

How To Awaken on Your Path and Dare To Be Yourself
As individuals, nations, and a planet, we have forgotten where we have come from, who we are, and where we are going. An honest look at the troubles we have created for ourselves reveals that we have painfully lost sight of the visions that once painted our future...

Creating Personal Freedom: The Truth of Personal Power

Creating Personal Freedom: The Truth of Personal Power
Women and men have incredible personal power yet often don't realize their own multifaceted power or know how to use it appropriately. The understanding of power is often limited to behaviors that involve being controlling, aggressive, or having influence over others. Personal power has nothing to do with these traits...

Do You Have to Choose Between Being Spiritual or Practical?

Do You Have to Choose Between Being Spiritual or Practical?
Do you ever think that you're not good enough to act compassionately? Not quite holy enough, so maybe you would rather leave that sort of behavior to the saints and sages, the ministers and priests. After all, aren't these the people who are in charge of communications with God?

The Fast Track To A Life Well Lived Is Feeling Grateful

The Fast Track To A Life Well Lived Is Feeling Grateful
For the Ancient Greeks, virtue wasn’t a goal in and of itself, but rather a route to a life well lived. By being honest and generous, embodying diligence and fortitude, showing restraint and kindness, a person would flourish

How Music Therapy Can Help Anxious Children

How Music Therapy Can Help Anxious Children
According to the NHS, as many as one in eight children aged five to 19 faces a mental health challenge. And a significant number of these cases are related to some form of anxiety.

Navigating Transitions, Hurts, and Losses

Navigating Transitions, Hurts, and Losses
Have you experienced some turbulence in these last months? It seems like these recent times have presented many folks with personal unexpected life-altering struggles. Our own trials and tribulations, in addition to the surreal political situation and what's happening throughout the world is taking a toll on our emotional, physical, psychological, and mental well-being.

The Forgotten Benefits Of A Bad Memory

The Forgotten Benefits Of A Bad Memory
Memory is the essence of our psychological functioning, essential for every move we make – getting dressed, having breakfast, driving to work, doing a crossword, making a cup of tea.

Learning the Lesson of Trust

Learning the Lesson of Trust
I love this photo of our son-in-law Ryan and our almost three-year-old grandson Owen. Ryan is taking Owen for his first surfing lesson. Owen is holding his hand with complete trust. He knows that his father has great wisdom in this situation and will take care of him. 

Shopping Addiction Is A Real Disorder

Shopping Addiction Is A Real Disorder
UK-based healthcare group the Priory is well-known for treating gambling, sex, drug, alcohol and computing addictions – especially of the rich and famous. 

Are You Mentally Well Enough For College?


Last spring an 18-year-old college freshman who got straight A’s in high school – but was now failing several courses – came to my office on the campus where I work as a psychologist.

Loving Each Other -- and The World Around Us -- Out Loud

Loving Each Other and The World Around Us Out Loud
The phrase “loving out loud” refers to a way to live openly and without regret. It’s moving from rapid-fire emoticons to thoughtfully emoting. It’s recognizing the power of a gentler, spoken word infused with a gener­ous spirit.

The Neuroscience Of Motivation and How To Improve It

The Neuroscience Of Motivation And How To Improve It
Motivation can be a hard thing to come by. Whether at home, at school or at work, most of us have been in a situation where we know exactly what to do but lack the mental power to do it.

Can We Avoid The Changes and Challenges That Happen In This Crazy World?

Being Masterfully Human: Passing Human Mastery 101
Who said that if you lived consciously nothing bad or challenging would ever happen to you? Who told you would never get sick, have a lover leave you, have a loved one die, have a car accident, or make a bad choice, huh? Who ever said that walking the spiritual path would be a piece of cake, easy as pie?

Moving Beyond Fear: Learning How Fear Has Dominated Your Life

Moving Beyond Fear: How Does Fear Dominate Your Life?
We must understand our fears if we really want to move on because that understanding is the prerequisite to self-knowledge, which alone is the only requirement for a harmonious relationship – with ourselves. Constant fear prevents us from living our true purpose. We must learn that fear is the basis of all man’s problems...

Does Extra Testosterone Reduce Your Empathy?

Does Extra Testosterone Reduce Your Empathy?
Cognitive empathy is the ability to recognise what another person is thinking or feeling, and one way it can be assessed in the lab is by using the “reading the mind in the eyes test” – or “eyes test”, for short. 

Is Revenge Spiritual? An "I" For An "Eye"?

Is Revenge Spiritual? An "I" For An "Eye"
If you "grew up on Bible stories", you learned the "eye for an eye" concept. How is that to be put into effect in a spiritual practice that focuses on inner peace, forgiveness, and peaceful interactions with "all our relations"? Can "an eye for an eye" be interpreted in any way other than anger and revenge?

How Feelings of Security and Insecurity Develop

How Feelings of Security and Insecurity Develop
Everyone is subject to the release of stress hormones and the resulting feelings of high arousal or alarm. Some of us have neural programming that activates automatically and calms us. We go from alarm to interest or curiosity about what the amygdala is reacting to. Those of us who don’t have that software stay alarmed until the stress hormones burn off.

What Is Imposter Syndrome? Do You Have It?

What Is Imposter Syndrome? Do You Have It?
Welcome to the world of the Imposter Syndrome. It is a secret world, inhabited by successful people from all walks of life who have one thing in common – they believe that they are not really good enough. They might be men or women, young or old. And imposter beliefs are not always related to work; I have met ‘imposters’ who feel they are not good enough parents, husbands, wives, friends or even not good enough human beings.

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