Male Imposters: The Secret Shame and Fear Of Not Being Good Enough

Male Imposters: The Secret Shame Of Not Being Good Enough
Although Imposter Syndrome (IS) has traditionally been seen as a female phenomenon, there isn’t an awful lot of hard data to confirm that women actually do experience this more than men. The reason that it is seen as a female condition is simply that the phenomenon was first discovered using research on women and it is a stereotype that seems to have stuck.

The Most Important Thing: Watching What We Say To Ourselves

Being Impeccable with Our Word and The Stories We Tell Ourselves
A few years ago, I was privileged to hear a speech by Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements. He stressed repeatedly that the most important thing for us to watch in regard to our conversation is not so much what we say to others, but what we say to ourselves...

The Proper Plate and The Right Attitude

The Proper Plate and The Right Attitude
When I heard this story, I stopped in my tracks. What a powerful model for compassion in action! I pray that I might be so sensitive to support others in their sense of well-being and transform potentially painful situations with a stroke of kindness.

How Deep Sleep Can Ease Your Anxious Brain

How Deep Sleep Can Ease Your Anxious Brain
While a full night of deep sleep stabilizes emotions, a sleepless one can trigger up to a 30% rise in anxiety levels, a new study shows.

Five Ways Rudeness Can Actually Be A Positive Experience

Five Ways Rudeness Can Actually Be A Positive Experience
From swearing to insults, most of us have experienced rudeness in some form or another at work, out in public or online. Much of the research examining rudeness has focused on its negative effects and with good reason – there are plenty of them.

This Moment Is This Moment: It Will Never Be Like This Again

This Moment Is This Moment: It Will Never Be Like This Again
The ancient Greeks spoke of two kinds of time, or two experiences of time: chronos and kairos. Chronos is what we now call clock time, objective time. In music, chronos is met­ronome time. Kairos is timeliness, the opportune moment that surges out from our experience, something that cannot happen at any time but only at this time. Educators call it the teachable moment.

Unconditional Love Is A Way Of Serving One Another, Humanity and The World

Unconditional Love: A Way Of Serving One Another, Humanity and The World
A time comes in our personal development when we realize that we are not isolated, independent individuals, but rather that we are all interdependent. We then experience genuine care and concern for others, become more aware of the larger whole and feel a deep desire to share our riches, whatever they may be, with others.

How To Awaken on Your Path and Dare To Be Yourself

How To Awaken on Your Path and Dare To Be Yourself
As individuals, nations, and a planet, we have forgotten where we have come from, who we are, and where we are going. An honest look at the troubles we have created for ourselves reveals that we have painfully lost sight of the visions that once painted our future...

Creating Personal Freedom: The Truth of Personal Power

Creating Personal Freedom: The Truth of Personal Power
Women and men have incredible personal power yet often don't realize their own multifaceted power or know how to use it appropriately. The understanding of power is often limited to behaviors that involve being controlling, aggressive, or having influence over others. Personal power has nothing to do with these traits...

Do You Have to Choose Between Being Spiritual or Practical?

Do You Have to Choose Between Being Spiritual or Practical?
Do you ever think that you're not good enough to act compassionately? Not quite holy enough, so maybe you would rather leave that sort of behavior to the saints and sages, the ministers and priests. After all, aren't these the people who are in charge of communications with God?

The Fast Track To A Life Well Lived Is Feeling Grateful

The Fast Track To A Life Well Lived Is Feeling Grateful
For the Ancient Greeks, virtue wasn’t a goal in and of itself, but rather a route to a life well lived. By being honest and generous, embodying diligence and fortitude, showing restraint and kindness, a person would flourish

How Music Therapy Can Help Anxious Children

How Music Therapy Can Help Anxious Children
According to the NHS, as many as one in eight children aged five to 19 faces a mental health challenge. And a significant number of these cases are related to some form of anxiety.

Navigating Transitions, Hurts, and Losses

Navigating Transitions, Hurts, and Losses
Have you experienced some turbulence in these last months? It seems like these recent times have presented many folks with personal unexpected life-altering struggles. Our own trials and tribulations, in addition to the surreal political situation and what's happening throughout the world is taking a toll on our emotional, physical, psychological, and mental well-being.

The Forgotten Benefits Of A Bad Memory

The Forgotten Benefits Of A Bad Memory
Memory is the essence of our psychological functioning, essential for every move we make – getting dressed, having breakfast, driving to work, doing a crossword, making a cup of tea.

Learning the Lesson of Trust

Learning the Lesson of Trust
I love this photo of our son-in-law Ryan and our almost three-year-old grandson Owen. Ryan is taking Owen for his first surfing lesson. Owen is holding his hand with complete trust. He knows that his father has great wisdom in this situation and will take care of him. 

Shopping Addiction Is A Real Disorder

Shopping Addiction Is A Real Disorder
UK-based healthcare group the Priory is well-known for treating gambling, sex, drug, alcohol and computing addictions – especially of the rich and famous. 

Are You Mentally Well Enough For College?


Last spring an 18-year-old college freshman who got straight A’s in high school – but was now failing several courses – came to my office on the campus where I work as a psychologist.

Loving Each Other -- and The World Around Us -- Out Loud

Loving Each Other and The World Around Us Out Loud
The phrase “loving out loud” refers to a way to live openly and without regret. It’s moving from rapid-fire emoticons to thoughtfully emoting. It’s recognizing the power of a gentler, spoken word infused with a gener­ous spirit.

The Neuroscience Of Motivation and How To Improve It

The Neuroscience Of Motivation And How To Improve It
Motivation can be a hard thing to come by. Whether at home, at school or at work, most of us have been in a situation where we know exactly what to do but lack the mental power to do it.

Can We Avoid The Changes and Challenges That Happen In This Crazy World?

Being Masterfully Human: Passing Human Mastery 101
Who said that if you lived consciously nothing bad or challenging would ever happen to you? Who told you would never get sick, have a lover leave you, have a loved one die, have a car accident, or make a bad choice, huh? Who ever said that walking the spiritual path would be a piece of cake, easy as pie?

Moving Beyond Fear: Learning How Fear Has Dominated Your Life

Moving Beyond Fear: How Does Fear Dominate Your Life?
We must understand our fears if we really want to move on because that understanding is the prerequisite to self-knowledge, which alone is the only requirement for a harmonious relationship – with ourselves. Constant fear prevents us from living our true purpose. We must learn that fear is the basis of all man’s problems...

Does Extra Testosterone Reduce Your Empathy?

Does Extra Testosterone Reduce Your Empathy?
Cognitive empathy is the ability to recognise what another person is thinking or feeling, and one way it can be assessed in the lab is by using the “reading the mind in the eyes test” – or “eyes test”, for short. 

Is Revenge Spiritual? An "I" For An "Eye"?

Is Revenge Spiritual? An "I" For An "Eye"
If you "grew up on Bible stories", you learned the "eye for an eye" concept. How is that to be put into effect in a spiritual practice that focuses on inner peace, forgiveness, and peaceful interactions with "all our relations"? Can "an eye for an eye" be interpreted in any way other than anger and revenge?

How Feelings of Security and Insecurity Develop

How Feelings of Security and Insecurity Develop
Everyone is subject to the release of stress hormones and the resulting feelings of high arousal or alarm. Some of us have neural programming that activates automatically and calms us. We go from alarm to interest or curiosity about what the amygdala is reacting to. Those of us who don’t have that software stay alarmed until the stress hormones burn off.

What Is Imposter Syndrome? Do You Have It?

What Is Imposter Syndrome? Do You Have It?
Welcome to the world of the Imposter Syndrome. It is a secret world, inhabited by successful people from all walks of life who have one thing in common – they believe that they are not really good enough. They might be men or women, young or old. And imposter beliefs are not always related to work; I have met ‘imposters’ who feel they are not good enough parents, husbands, wives, friends or even not good enough human beings.

Becoming Free of the Greatest Fear of All

Becoming Free of the Greatest Fear of All
The greatest fear in the world is of the opinions of others. And the moment you are unafraid of the crowd you are no longer a sheep. A great roar arises in your heart, the roar of freedom. What people say does not matter. Your whole and sole judge is God. And God simply means the whole universe.

Marianne Williamson: America Doesn’t Just Have A Gun Crisis--It Has A Culture Crisis

America Doesn’t Just Have A Gun Crisis--It Has A Culture Crisis
Another day, another mass shooting. We grieve for Odessa, Tex., and we grieve for America. The aftermath of every mass shooting follows a now-routine pattern: Feverish coverage will be followed by politicians and pundits engaging in a predictable conversation about gun-safety legislation. All of which we know by now.

What Is The Cost of Withholding Your Truth?

Taking the Risk to Speak Your Truth and Be Authentic
Take a minute to reflect on your ability or inability to tell your truth, particularly in the workplace. Notice how frequently you say things that are safe or politically correct and don't say the things that are true for you but are not necessarily as safe. It is important to recognize the cost of withholding our truth, both for ourselves and for...

Why Do People Believe In Curses?

Why Do People Believe In Curses?
Strictly Come Dancing, the TV show which pairs celebrities with professional dancers to compete in a ballroom dancing competition, has apparently been the cause of a number of divorces, break-ups, and scandals.

Saying No to Guilt: You Are Not Responsible for Others

No More Guilt
Ego does what is necessary to maintain its power. Guilt is one of the more blatant sub -personalities of ego. It performs two primary functions for ego: importance and responsibility. Both make you feel needed as described below....

How To Become A Great Impostor

How To Become A Great Impostor

Unlike other icons who have appeared on the front of Life magazine, Ferdinand Waldo Demara was not famed as an astronaut, actor, hero or politician.

Creating A Sacred Environment For Sleep

Creating A Sacred Environment For Sleep
The mastery of sleep is to know what sleeping conditions you need and recognize the sacredness of those conditions. If you are protesting that you do not have time to recognize the sacredness of sleep right now, that’s okay. See and know that. Acknowledge that right now you may be prioritizing busyness over sacredness, 

5 Effective Ways to Deal with Your Frustrations

5 Effective Ways to Deal with Your Frustrations
What transforms an irksome situation or event into frustration? It's our expectations, our "shoulds" that cause aggravation. Your wife should have an awareness about her eating habits. Drivers should be considerate of other drivers' needs. Your son should learn how to develop tidy habits.

Enjoying and Appreciating All That Is

Enjoying and Appreciating All That Is
Life can be stressful. It can and does present challenges. It also brings pleasures and laughter, as well as sadness and tears. Some of these experiences we accept with joy, others we want to run from and hide, others just plain aggravate us or bore us 'to death'...

How To Remove "The Anger Response" From Your Life

Removing Anger From Your Life
A commitment to an anger-free life involves signing up for a new journey. Deciding to actually enjoy this journey will make it much more pleasant. Learn to think of life as a process. If you focus only on goals, you are not going to be happy until you have achieved them.

How To Respond to Criticism Without Being Defensive

How To Respond to Criticism Without Being Defensive
In an actual war, to be attacked means to have our survival threatened. Thus, we might chose between surrender, withdrawal, or counterattack. When we feel attacked (criticized or judged) by others in conversation, we often move into that same...

Why Do People Cheat?

Why Do People Cheat?
When we hear that a poor person scammed others out of money, we may attribute this behavior to their poverty, rationalizing that the person violated ethics and the law because they needed the money.

From Longing for Peace to Becoming Peace and Being Peace

From Longing for Peace to Becoming Peace and Being Peace
There is no more urgent question than this: How can I make peace real? How are we to meet violence with nonviolence, to meet war with peace, to meet fear with love, to meet hatred with compassion? How are we to dismantle the attitude of militarism and install the attitude of peace, within our own minds and within the very structure of society?

Cleaning the Mind with Regular and Disciplined Practice

Cleaning the Mind with Regular and Disciplined Practice
The biggest problem with a mistake that's not forgiven is that it becomes a piece of garbage cluttering up your mind. The longer you dwell on the mistake, the more it magnifies and distracts you. Our minds become a giant toxic dumpsite. It results in perpetual unhappiness.

Bike Sharing Isn't Just For Rich Hipsters

Bike Sharing Isn't Just For Rich Hipsters
Bike and scooter sharing is booming in cities all around the world. In the United States, the number of trips through either bike or scooter sharing — modes of transportation called “micromobility” — more than doubled over one year, from 35 million trips in 2017 to 84 million in 2018.

Focus On Who You Can Be, Not What You Can Do

Focus On Who You Can Be, Not What You Can Do
One innovative way to face hard truths is through imagery. Rumi’s words from the opening quote echo across the centuries and present evocative symbols. “Mount the stallion of love and do not fear the path…” Consider the imagery of this verse and zero in on two significant elements: the stallion and you.

What Happens In The Brain When We Give Up?

What Happens In The Brain When We Give Up?
Inside the brain, a group of cells known as nociceptin neurons get very active before mice give up on reaching hard-to-get rewards, researchers report.

Why Do Some People Worry More Than Others?

Why Do Some People Worry More Than Others?
You might think there are some people who never worry. But that’s not true. We all worry but at different times and about different things. A bit of worrying is normal and healthy.

The Joy of Service Is the True Nature of Your Being

The Joy of Service Is the Inherent Nature of Your Being
To be 'in service' in today's world is regarded as demeaning no matter whether the service is given freely, or for hire and reward. A misconception exists that by the very act of serving someone you are placing yourself in a position of subservience to the person that is being served. Nothing could be further from the truth.

It Is Essential Now To Expand Our Awareness and Elevate Our Attitude

It Is Essential Now To Expand Our Awareness and Elevate Our Attitude
Society desperately needs the tempering and respectful energy of feminine strength. The Chi­nese proverb “When sleeping women wake, mountains move” is being affirmed by societal shifts throughout the world. We are awake and deeply aware that our strength, wisdom, and compassion are needed.

How Financial Incentives Work To Help Smokers Quit

How Financial Incentives Work To Help Smokers Quit

Smoking kills one in two regular smokers, but quitting at any point in life leads to big improvements in health, increased life expectancy and savings in healthcare costs.

Stressed At Work? How To Beat Common Traps In The Rat Race

Stressed At Work? How To Beat Common Traps In The Rat Race
Over the past two years, I’ve started working with people on applying what I know in the human world of work. And what I see in most of the workplaces I visit – everywhere from corporate office towers to government departments and blue-collar work sites – is strikingly similar to the behaviour of addicted lab rats.

How Toxic People Wage Emotional Warfare On Others

Expect emotional warfare where there are high-conflict people. High-conflict people dominate by sowing division, at all levels of society — from school boards to state governments.

How Social Narratives Stop Us From Being Happy

Many of us are trying to fit into existing roles that aren't specially crafted for us, and, as a result, we don't fit perfectly in them. This causes us a lot of stress and anxiety.

Why Everyone Should Know Their Attachment Style

Why Everyone Should Know Their Attachment Style
If you’ve suffered from anxiety, depression or relationship problems, a psychological theory called “attachment theory” can help you get to the root cause of your difficulties and give you a greater understanding of what’s going on.

The 30-Day Resilience-Builder Challenges

The 30-Day Resilience-Builder Challenges
All our fears are unique and different, born out of different experiences and often maintained through subconscious pro­gramming throughout life. Conquering such origins of fear once and for all, ultimately will allow you to meet with your life’s goals and purpose. Because at the end of the day, the only thing holding any of us back is ourselves and how we process, manifest and deal with fear.

How To Experierence Fearlessness

How To Experierence FearlessnessIn order to experience fearlessness, it is necessary to experience fear. In order to experience fearlessness, it is necessary to experience fear. True fearlessness is not the reduction of fear; but going beyond fear...

Look Within and Ask: "How Does This Also Apply To Me?"

Look Within and Ask: "How Does This Also Apply To Me?"Have you ever found yourself wanting to 'fix' people? You know... when you can clearly see everything that's wrong with them and want to reorganize them and their life? It seems so easy for us to look at someone else and see everything that they need to do to improve themselves. It seems so easy to 'fix' someone else...

Brain Scans Offer Clues To Extremist Violence

Brain Scans Offer Clues To Extremist Violence

To gain insight into the psychology of radicalization and terrorist violence, researchers scanned the brains of men who support a terrorist organization associated with Al Qaeda.

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