If you imagine each thought going through your mind as a seed destined to grow the events of your future, how do you feel about the quality of the seeds you’re planting? Are they growing success, joy, and love, or bitterness, pain, and disappointment?
Where does your attention go when you’re not actively engaged in some specific mental focus — when you’re alone driving in your car, taking a break from work, or cooking dinner? Do you tend to dwell more on everything wrong in your life: resentments, past hurts, future worries? Or do you fill your thoughts with what you love: happy successes, love that you’ve shared, gratitude in the present, and pleasant anticipation of the future?
Most of us have certain patterns of thought that are so habitual we’re not even fully aware of them. These thoughts that pop into mind when we’re not focused on anything in particular reflect learned habits, probably acquired when we were very young.
We may have habits of worry or optimism, of faith or bitterness. The areas of our lives that flow easily reflect our positive automatic thoughts. On the other hand, we may tell ourselves many times a day that life is unfair, that we’re unsafe, or that we don’t deserve to be happy. We may be so unaware of this inner conversation that we don’t even call these messages thoughts; we call them reality, and we unconsciously attract life circumstances that match them.
Monitoring every random thought can be a daunting task. However, a much more doable exercise can powerfully affect thinking. Simply monitor what we say out loud. So the next exercise is one of giving up whining.
The first time I did this exercise myself, I made a three-month commitment to it and only lasted fifteen minutes before I almost broke my commitment and “whined.” I caught myself just in the nick of time, but it made me instantly aware of how automatic complaining can be.
Interestingly, once I got the hang of not whining, I found my inner dialogue changing along with my spoken words. It just wasn’t as satisfying to whine to only myself anymore. After practicing this for several weeks, I noticed that any number of things I usually struggled with were falling into place with miraculous ease.
It also forced me to find a different way of sharing with my friends that wasn’t based on commiserating. I didn’t suddenly become an always-smiling Pollyanna but, when I did share what was painful in my life, I did it in a way that left me feeling more empowered afterward. I reached out for help, not just sympathy.
What’s more, some of my friends later reported that their words and thoughts underwent a change, too. They stopped whining to me in response to my not whining back. This enhanced the quality of our relating and had an effect on my friends that they took with them beyond our interaction.
Starting now and continuing for one month, let go of all talk and all conversations in which you present yourself as an unfortunate victim of circumstances beyond your control. If you slip and catch yourself in a whine, redirect it by acknowledging your own participation in bringing this situation about.
Share what you’re willing to do to change your experience. Or share what hidden lessons or blessings you’re receiving from this experience. Perhaps ask the person with whom you’re speaking for help. The help might be for changing your situation or just your state of mind.
In other words, it’s okay to feel bad and talk about it. When you do, however, speak as though it’s an experience you had something to do with bringing about, have the power to change, and are learning something from. Even if you don’t fully believe this, speaking as though you have power in your situation will help it to be so. The less you think and speak as a victim, the less you will be one.
To up the effectiveness of this exercise, do it for one month in an absolute way as a symbolic act, which means you will give it added power by giving it a bigger significance. Tell yourself that if you are willing to absolutely eliminate victim speech, you can manifest whatever highest good you most desire.
Assume this really is true so that when you’re tempted to cheat, your question to yourself becomes “If my most heartfelt dreams coming to fruition depend upon me choosing not to complain about my life right now, what do I choose? What do I love more, complaining or having my heart’s desires?”
The total, absolute, never-cheating-even-once aspect of this assignment is important because it strengthens your focus and will, making whatever you set your mind to easier to accomplish. So the rule of this game is that, if you slip, you need to start over again, recommitting for a new one-month period. Or if you don’t want to begin again, you can go back to the person you complained to and admit that you didn’t mean what you said. Then revise your story away from disempowered whining.
If you want to make it through a month without whining and just can’t seem to do it, consider that there may be a payoff for you in remaining in a victim role.
Making Miracles -- Creating New Realities for Your Life and Our World(previously released as: Holding a Butterfly — An Experiment in Miracle-Making)
by Lynn Woodland.
This is a book about consciousness, time, quantum science, and God, all woven into a series of practical, personal experiments in miracle-making. It goes far beyond current teachings o the law of attraction and will sweep readers up in a collaborative experiment that pushes all the boundaries of human potential.
Lynn Woodland is an award-winning author, international teacher and human potential expert. Dr. Lynn Woodland has worked at the experimental edges of the Mind/Body/Spirit, Transpersonal Psychology and New Thought movements since 1972. Her particular expertise is in what gives rise to miracles and in teaching ordinary people to live extraordinary lives so that miracles become, not just possible, but natural. Learn more at www.LynnWoodland.com.
Watch a video: Enter into a "Miracle Experiment" with Lynn Woodland