The longer you keep your hiding places secret, the more treacherous they become. Think of the closet that you open just a crack, shove your possession in, and close as quickly as possible. Think of the junk drawer that you don’t want to reach into because you don’t know if you are going to be cut by a sharp edge or poked with a sewing needle. Think of your garage or your attic, stacked so high with boxes that one small misstep might send them tumbling down on top of you.
When you started using that hiding place, it wasn’t so treacherous. You thought, I’m not sure if I want to keep this thing or get rid of it—and even if I kept it, I don’t really have a place for it so I am just going to stick it in the attic for now. Well, “for now” has turned into years. One thing has turned into hundreds, possibly thousands, of delayed decisions.
So we have to empty out our hiding places and commit to no more hiding. There’s no easy way to do this, folks. You have to just open it up, drag out the contents, and see what’s inside.
Hiding Your Worries, Fears, Guilt, Regret, Insecurities, Grief
Just so you know—don’t get freaked out—we’re going to tell you right up front what’s in there. You’re going to find evidence of your worries, fears, guilt, regret, insecurities, and unprocessed grief. How do we know that you are going to find those things? We know that because you are hiding them. We don’t usually hide what we love. We hide what we are afraid to face and are afraid to deal with.
If it is just a drawer, dump it out. If it is a closet, pull out everything and lay it on the floor. If it is your attic, basement, or garage, you’ll need to commit to one box a day and stick with it. Whatever the box contains, you need to release it. Yes, we know it’s frightening. We know it’s the last thing you want to do. But this is about you coming clean with yourself. This is about you living openly and honestly with yourself and others. There is no relief greater than that.
How To Deal with the Big Secret Dump
This is how you are going to go through your big secret dump, now that it is out of hiding. You must tell yourself the following things:
• I am no longer going to hide my fear from myself or others.
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• I am no longer going to hide my insecurities from myself or others.
• I am no longer going to hide my worries from myself or others.
• I am no longer going to hide my guilt from myself or others.
• I am no longer going to hide my grief or sadness from myself or others.
The Decluttering Process: Donation Bag and Garbage Bag
You need to decide once and for all that you are not going to live with these things. Your hiding places are going to have lots of negative energy in them, so you’ll need to get these things out of your home, heart, and life. We don’t care if they are out of sight. They are not out of mind. They are not out of heart. Even if nobody else knows they are there, these things are consuming you.
Get yourself two big ol’ bags: a donation bag and a garbage bag. As you go through these hidden objects, you need to clearly identify what consuming emotion they represent. It is important to become aware of which consuming emotions are predominantly driving your need to hide.
Physical Clutter: A Manifestation of Emotional Clutter
Remember that all of our physical clutter is a manifestation of our emotional clutter. If you find you are primarily hiding things that make you feel guilty, then it is important to recognize that guilt has too much underlying power in your life. If you notice that you tend to hide things that make you feel worried, then perhaps worry is something you are trying to push down or away.
As you place each object in the bag, you need to say something like:
“These dress-up clothes that once belonged to my daughter bring up wistfulness for the past. I no longer want to feel wistful about the past. I want to live in the present, the only moment in which my happiness can manifest.”
You might say:
“These neckties that belong to my ex-husband bring up resentment for being betrayed by him and grief for the love I lost. I no longer want to live with resentment about the past or grief for what is gone. I want to live in the present, the only moment in which my happiness can manifest.”
Whatever you are hiding is taking away from your happiness. No more secrets. It’s time to let them go so your happiness can manifest in this present moment—the only moment you truly have.
©2014 Lauren Rosenfeld & Melva Green. All Rights Reserved.
Reprinted with permission from Atria Books/
Beyond Words Publishing. www.beyondword.com
Breathing Room: Open Your Heart by Decluttering Your Home
by Lauren Rosenfeld and Dr. Melva Green.
Click here for more info and/or to order this book on Amazon.
About the Authors
Lauren Rosenfeld, M.A., M.Ed, is a Soul Declutterer and a Spiritual Treasure Hunter. Since childhood, she has been a spiritual intuitive who is able to see spiritual lessons shining even in life's most challenging situations. She has written two books to guide readers toward finding miracles within the mundane: "Your To Be List" and "Breathing Room: Open Your Heart by Decluttering Your Home". Lauren blogs about everyday miracles and mysticism at lgrosenfeld.com.
Watch a video with Lauren Rosenfeld: When Happiness Comes Knocking
Dr. Melva Green is a board certified psychiatrist, TV personality, and spiritual healer. She is an expert doctor on the popular and critically acclaimed A&E show Hoarders. Dr. Green lives in Costa Rica with her son where she will soon be opening a center for healing arts dedicated to “Healing the Healers”, a retreat for medical professionals in need of emotion healing and spiritual renewal.
Watch a video with Dr. Melva Green: Traditional Healing Practices: One Of The Richest Resources of Africa