What We Need Is Each Other
by Kent M. Keith
The
power to bring about change is in our hands. That's because the most important
thing that each of us needs is each other.
Many of
our social problems stem from our lack of attention to each other -- in early
childhood, to stimulate growth; in our schools, to draw out the unique
potential of each individual; in our communities, to help our friends and
neighbors. Many of our problems have grown out of our alienation -- our
inattention to each other as individuals. And that is something we have the power
to change. One by one, person by person, we can make a difference.
Taking
care of people is not just the government's job. It's everybody's job. And it's
not just about money -- it's about giving our time and talent freely to enjoy the
uniqueness of others and attend to their needs. When we begin to give this
individual attention, one by one, as a gift to each other, our society will
begin to right itself.
It will
be like the miracle of the loaves and the fishes. Just when we think that we
have very little, we will discover that we have a nearly infinite supply of
what each of us needs the most -- love, acceptance, family, community. We will
discover that our baskets are full, and always have been, and always will be,
if we only care enough to give what is in them -- our time, our talent, our
attention, our love.
Challenging
the Status Quo
One of
the biggest obstacles to positive change is the drive for success. Since
success is usually defined in terms of the status quo, the desire for success
leads people to conform. There are exceptions, of course, but for most people,
succeeding in the world of organizations means playing the game -- not rocking the
boat but working in established ways to achieve established rewards. Depending on
how the system is structured, it may even be advantageous for individuals to
exploit problems instead of solving them.
To
challenge the whole system is to risk becoming an outcast, isolated and not
eligible for the rewards the system distributes. For that reason, people
usually stick with the traditional way of doing things, even when the
traditional way has become wrong or irrelevant. Following the accepted rules is
the way to power, wealth, and fame, even if it's not the way to solve society's
problems.
The
Paradoxical Commandments
If
you live the Paradoxical Commandments, you will change the world. You will love
people, and do good, and succeed, and be honest and frank, and think big, and
fight for underdogs, and build, and help people, and give the world your best.
When you do those things, you will have a positive impact on the people, organizations,
and communities around you. They will change, you will change, and the world
will change-for the better.
I wrote
the Paradoxical Commandments to encourage people to make the world a better
place. I wanted to help people get past their excuses, their difficult past,
their difficult present, so they could find personal meaning and make a difference anyway.
The
Paradoxical Commandments Action Checklist
1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and
self-centered. Love them anyway.
Which
illogical, unreasonable, or self-centered people am I going to love anyway?
2. If you do good, people will accuse you of
selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway.
What
good things am I going to do, even though people will accuse me of selfish
ulterior motives?
3. If you are successful, you will win false
friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.
In what
ways am I going to be successful, even though I know I will win false friends
and true enemies?
4. The good you do today will be forgotten
tomorrow. Do good anyway.
What
good things am I committed to doing, even though they will be forgotten
tomorrow?
5. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
With
whom, and about what, am I going to be honest, even though it will make me
vulnerable?
6. The biggest men and women with the biggest
ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
What
big idea am I going to pursue, even though it will be shot down by small men
and women?
7. People favor underdogs but follow only top
dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
Which
underdogs am I going to fight for?
8. What you spend years building may be
destroyed overnight. Build anyway.
What am
I going to build, even though it may be destroyed overnight?
9. People really need help but may attack you
if you do help them. Help people anyway.
Who am
I going to help, even though they may attack me?
10. Give the world the best you have and you'll
get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.
Am I
committed to always giving the world my best, even if I get kicked in the
teeth?
There
are so many things that need doing -- so many problems to solve, so many
opportunities to seize. Some of the problems and opportunities seem so big that
it may be hard to believe that one person can make a difference. The world is
just too crazy! And yet, nothing will get better unless each of us decides to
make a difference anyway.
 This article was excerpted from the book:
Do It Anyway: Finding Personal Meaning and Deep
Happiness by Living the Paradoxical Commandments by Kent M. Keith.
Reprinted with permission of the publisher, New World Library, Novato, CA. ©2008. www.newworldlibrary.com or 800-972-6657 ext. 52.
For More Info or to Order This Book.
About the Author
Kent M. Keith is the author of Do It Anyway, Jesus Did it
Anyway and Anyway: The Paradoxdical
Commandments. He has appeared in
national media from Today to the New York Times. A former attorney and university president,
he is a popular speaker on finding personal meaning in a chaotic world. His website is www.kentmkeith.com. Visit him also at www.paradoxicalcommandments.com.
More books by this author.
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