Buddy, Can You Spare A Dime?
by Stuart Wilde
Q: lf people ask you for money, should you give it to them, and why?
 A: In my book The Force, I suggest giving people the things they ask for. However, I've found myself getting into a lot of trouble with this over the years because I didn't mean you had to give your whole life away. What I meant was, if somebody asks to borrow the lawnmower, lend it to them. In other words, don't be a tight ass -- be open, loving, and free, and share your abundance.
When people ask you for money, what they're really asking for is energy, and they shouldn't do it because we're each responsible for generating our own energy. I must say I don't like lending people money. I've found that when you do so, eight times out of ten that's the last you see of them and the money. What you have to do is either say no, or just give them the money. Then there is no energy around 'who owes whom'.
Generally speaking, I think it's good to be open and to share. However, if somebody comes along and they want your trousers, you don't have to take them off and walk around in your underwear. There is a natural balance between being generous and not allowing people to use you.
Q: If you are a generous person and allow your money to flow, is it then okay to ask other people for money if you hit a rough patch?
A: Yes, I don't think it is a problem asking people for money if you hit a rough patch. The important thing is you're not going to make other people responsible for your energy.
One of the big problems in Western societies is that somehow people are becoming convinced that somebody else owes them a living, medical care, and welfare -- "I'm a single mother, I'm entitled to a free home and money," "I'm a divorced father," "I'm unemployed." Of course, metaphysically speaking, that isn't correct. There is definitely a place for charity and kindness, but the idea that you can just underwrite someone's energy forever is absolute rubbish metaphysically, and it creates a warped, somewhat sick society.
I lay the blame for the disease of our societies partly on television and partly on the idea that, because you are a citizen, you are automatically owed enough energy to sustain yourself. When there is no call for you to sustain the energy yourself, the ego kicks back and becomes self-indulgent and lazy. Our societies suffer enormously from the projections of these characteristics.
Asking for money is fine if you need to, as long as you give it back when you're in the flow and don't make a habit of it. In the end, you have to believe in yourself and create your own energy.
This column is excerpted from the book:
 Simply Wilde
by Stuart Wilde with Leon Nacson,
Reprinted with permission. Published by Hay House www.hayhouse.com.
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About The Author
Author and lecturer Stuart Wilde is one of the real characters of the self-help, human potential movement. His style is humorous, controversial, poignant, and transformational. He has written 11 books, including those that make up the very successful Taos Quintet, which are considered classics in their genre. They are: Affirmations, The Force, Miracles, The Quickening, and The Trick to Money Is Having Some. Stuart's books have been translated into 12 languages.
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