Loving
Unconditionally...
What's It All
About?
by Marie T.
Russell
 One hears a lot these days about
'Unconditional Love'. The dictionary defines unconditional as 'absolute, with no
conditions or reservations'. Thus, to love unconditionally is to love with no
restrictions, no qualifications, no 'I love you... but...'.
Do you love yourself and others
unconditionally? Do you love and approve of yourself and others even when a
'foul-up' occurs or when a behavior is not one you judge 'right'? Have you
achieved that ideal state of being, even once in a while? To love yourself and
others no matter what the situation is.
There are certain states of mind
that will make it easier for you to love yourself and others with no
reservations. The first is to accept things and people (including yourself) the
way they are. This does not mean that you do not want any changes. Instead this
means that you love them the way they are now, you accept that they are 'good
enough', and desire them to become more of who they really are: their highest
self.
Another state of mind is patience
and understanding... The same patience one has with a small child that is
learning to walk, or to talk. When a child stumbles or when a child speaks in
strange incomprehensible words, we don't laugh at the child, mocking it, giving
it a hard time and making it feel bad. We have understanding and patience. We
understand that the child is learning, growing, and moving towards mastery of
the new skills they are learning.
So it is with "adult learners". We
are all learning to be masters of life and love... thus we all deserve patience
and understanding. The people in our lives, no matter how trying they may seem
at times, also deserve our patience and understanding. They too are struggling
with mastering the skills needed to be happy and fulfilled in this existence on
Planet Earth.
Thus the first steps towards
Unconditional love include patience, understanding, and acceptance of what is.
To create a world for yourself where unconditional love abounds, you can also
hold the thought that the world is a friendly place. As thought is creative, you
will indeed attract to yourself a friendly world. Your attitude will bring out
the best in people. You will be a factor in inspiring others to opt for their
highest thought.
It is sometimes difficult to love
unconditionally when some person or situation has 'pushed your button', so to
speak. You have a choice as to how to react. You can get angry, you can pout,
you can pretend that nothing is happening (ignore the person and event), or
perhaps, a better way to handle it is to deal with the situation or person in a
non-attached way. Taking care of what needs to be done, responding with patience
and understanding, and moving on.
Non-attachment does not imply
non-caring; being non-attached, emotionally, physically, psychically, and
intellectually is an active process of expressing your feelings NOW, releasing
them, being done with it, and moving on. This can be done honestly and in a
caring way.
Unconditional love has to do with
always coming from a loving, giving, and responsive viewpoint, recognizing the
value and worth of yourself and others, and thereby producing a state of
pleasure. Unconditional love is the highest truth and is not afraid to tell it.
Know that you are living in a world that loves you as much as you love it, where
you are an inspiration because you love, and you are not-attached to the
results.
Loving unconditionally is not
always easy, as it involves speaking the truth, yet doing so without withholding
love. It means acknowledging that while you may not approve of a person's
behavior, you still honor and recognize the Divine Being that they really are.
It means that even if someone doesn't behave in a way that you want them to,
you still recognize the fact that they are a Being worthy of love and respect.
No, they may not be "perfect" according to your definition of that term... Yes,
you might be able to see many ways that they could "improve" themselves and
their lives... Yes, you might think that you would do better in their
situation... Yet, unconditional love means giving people the space to make their
own choices, their own mis-takes, their own successes.
Just as we let children learn how
to walk, we need to let the people in our lives learn "how to be"... and just as
we give a child plenty of love and moral support while they're learning to walk
and talk, so with the people in our lives, whether they're family or co-workers
or friends or someone in the grocery store (or ourselves), we need to also give
them love and moral support to assist them in discovering their own path toward
Unconditional Love...
 Recommended book:
Handbook for the Heart: Original Writings on Love
edited by Richard Carlson (author of Don't Sweat the
Small Stuff).
Info/Order
book
 About The Author
Marie
T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also
produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from
1991-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal growth, and
well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own
inner source of joy and creativity.
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