Attaining peace within can be as simple as making a conscious choice right in the moment of not taking the path of anger.
Blast Off
To Freedom
by Ellie Janow
I was aware for a long time of the miracles that resulted
from practicing forgiveness and love before I tested this practice in my daily
life.
It was easier to talk about the philosophy of changing my perception than
to actually live it, especially when living it meant interrupting myself in the
middle of emotional turmoil. I was able to forgive the people in my Personal
Inventory, but choosing peace while filled with anger was a more difficult
task.
With patience and an open mind, I listened to joyful, serene
people who were previously angry and chaotic share their miracles, so I knew
that it was also possible for me.
Each knot in my stomach that accompanied the anger and guilt
in which I still indulged reminded me that the discomfort was my choice. As my
pain increased, my awareness increased, and I slowly became ready to surrender
my self-righteous resistance.
Then one day I did it. I put my new beliefs into
action. As I trusted and listened to the loving voice within me, fear, anger
and guilt miraculously disappeared.
During a long-distance telephone
conversation, my teenage daughter came bursting into the house and demanded my
immediate attention. I whispered to her that I was on the phone (in case she
hadn't noticed) and asked her to please be patient. Totally ignoring my plea
she continued to enthusiastically describe the events of her day.
I tried to concentrate on my telephone friend, in spite of
the distraction of my daughter's chatter, to no avail.
Suddenly, my temples
began to pound, and I could feel a rage seething deep within me. I
thought:
How
dare she be so inconsiderate and so rude. She cares only about herself and her
immediate gratification. I've told her a million times that when people are on
the telephone she should give them common courtesy and not interrupt them. When
is she going to learn?
I was so filled with anger that for a moment I wanted to
strangle her.
At that instant, it occurred to me that I had another
choice -- if I didn't want to be in such pain. So for the first time while I was
in the middle of a rage, I asked the spirit of love within me for a change of
perception.
My daughter continued her monologue and my telephone friend
continued talking while I closed my eyes and acknowledged that I was
uncomfortable (to say the least). Then I thought:
Help me! I don't have to feel
these feelings. That willful child part of me tells me to get angry, but I want
to believe that I can be peaceful. Show me how! I open my mind so your loving
voice can help me to see this situation peacefully.
After about one minute, a miracle happened. I opened my eyes
and saw my grown child as a little girl crying for love. My anger dissipated as
I motioned for her to place her head on my lap and I lovingly stroked her hair,
which was unusual behavior for me.
My telephone friend continued chatting, with an occasional
acknowledgment from me, while I enjoyed a magic moment of closeness and peace
with my precious child.
I was amazed! It was so simple! No lectures or judgments
were necessary. There was only peace because I was willing to see things
differently.
After about three minutes, my daughter quietly went upstairs to
watch TV, her face beaming. I completed my conversation and danced up the steps
to ask her, "Now what did you want to tell me?" She replied, with a
big smile and a hug, "Never mind, Mom, it's not important." We both
felt wonderful.
The miracle was that I was at peace. I was free. I didn't
have to teach her a lesson. She had taught me to choose love. It works, if you
work it.
The above was excerpted with permission from:
 "A
Time To Fly: How To Feel Good About Ourselves
and Our Relationships" by Ellie Janow, ?1993 published by Celestial Arts, P.O. Box 7123, Berkeley,
CA 94707. http://tenspeed.com.
Info/Order
this book.
About The
Author
Ellie Janow is a mother, a certified eating disorders
counselor, and a licensed speech/language pathologist, specializing in
communication skills.
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