Attaining
Enlightenment
through Relationship
by Dr. Paula
Sunray
Life
is about relationship.
It is your main spiritual practice.
 Relationships
are difficult and challenging spiritual practices. They
give us the opportunity to test our skills of
communication, intimacy, authenticity, and integrity.
They also give us a chance to retrieve our soul and our
spirit.
Have you
stopped dancing with your soul? Have you stopped letting
your soul sing and express from its very heart and
being? So many people have lost their song of life and
their enchantment with life. When they learn to rekindle
their heart song and reconnect with their life tune,
they will be able to bring soul to a relationship. Two
numb and lifeless souls do not create a very fulfilling
relationship.
Everything
we do in life is a relationship. We have a relationship
with money, we have a relationship with our body, and we
even have a relationship with our car. We have a
relationship with everything!
As
humans, we are all interdependent. True rewarding
relationship is a union of two souls who connect from
their life center -- their spirit center. Staying in our
own center and listening with our deepest inner knowing,
is how we relate best.
The
beauty of relationship is that it awakens the mystery
and magic of our soul. We are like two gods creating
amazing and wonderful universes of feelings and
experiences together.
Why are
these magical relationships so difficult to attain? For
one, the element of trust is essential. We must arrive
at a place where we trust ourselves and others. We must
trust the fact that we know how to handle our life and
make important decisions. We must also trust the fact
that our mate knows how to do the same thing. Then, we
can align our words and actions with our integrity, and
expect the best. We must be reasonable in our
expectations so that we don't place unreasonable
demands on our partner.
Underneath
it all, the only thing we all basically want is to be
honored and respected exactly as we are. We want to feel
safe, nurtured, and protected. We want to be validated,
loved, and cherished. We also want to make our own
choices and have those choices honored. We do not want
to be told what to do or how to live our life.
A
relationship is a mystery that is created stroke by
stroke like a painting on a canvas. Each word we speak,
every action we take, and each choice we make, is like a
stroke on the canvas. Each day, we create a new segment
of the painting, and each day, we add color, nuance,
intensity, and energy. No two canvases are alike, just
as no two people are alike.
Relationship
is a miracle. It takes us all the way back to God who
created us as companions. Every relationship we have is
a reflection of the relationship we have with God. If we
believe that God can love us, then we will believe that
others can love us, and if we believe that we are not
good enough for God to love, how will we be able to
accept the love of others?
Let's
face it. Most people are not growing very much. They
have distanced themselves from being challenged and
stretched. They are uncomfortable with change and are
afraid to take risks. They protect their vulnerability
at all costs, and are unwilling to do healing work. They
want quick bandages, and they rush back to the world of
stress and illusions and try to carve out some basic
nutrition from a dead turkey.
The very
evolution of our society shows the insecurity and fear
of the people at large. Our relationships reflect our
insecurities. The old relationships of the past have
basically been an exchange of favors -- the wife has
exchanged sex for security, and the husband exchanged
work and being head of the household for a false sense
of fulfillment. This is a marriage of two low selves,
and this is the marriage of the average person.
The
Relationship of the Future
The
relationship of the future will be a blend of both the
low self and high self. We will no longer have spouses
and marriage certificates to make us feel safe; we will
have partners who support our growth and encourage us to
do what we love. We will have partners who encourage us
to have our own power and express ourselves
spontaneously and creatively.
This is
the relationship of the future. It is the only one that
will work. As soon as we have individuals who have
reached that level of maturity, we will have
relationships of quality and spirit. We will have true
enlightenment. Enlightenment is self-actualization. When
you are enlightened, the level of your success in life
will depend upon your ability to let go of fear and
insecurity and mistaken beliefs.
What
is Enlightenment?
Enlightenment
is not what you think. It is not about becoming
something or gaining something. It is about giving up
something. It is about losing or emptying; it is about
emptying ourselves of our fears and our personal
dragons.
We can
achieve enlightenment by becoming personally aware. We
can achieve it by peering into our inner core and
looking at the shadows and the fears. Those little inner
dragons are just unloved parts of ourselves. Once we
find them and love them, we can tap into their vitality
and energy, and use their power in our lives. When we
bring them into our heart, they are no longer dragons;
they are "spirit" entities who inspire us and
lead us on our heroic journey of life. When we empty our
low self of its fears and trepidation, there is room for
God at our core. We must be empty to be filled, and when
God fills us, we become enlightened.
 This
article was
excerpted with permission from:
Life Skills for the New
Millennium
by
Paula Sunray.
published by MDJ Inc./Petals of
Life, Jackson, TN. www.petalsoflife.com.
Info/Order
this book
About The
Author
Dr.
Paula Sunray has been teaching classes on personal growth and
metaphysical spirituality for over 17 years. She is director of the Sunray
Healing Haven and National Interfaith Seminary in St. Paul, Minnesota,
where she trains and teaches healers, ministers, counselors, and
spiritual students in addition to maintaining her own private practice.
Dr. Sunray is a leading expert in the field of mind-body-spirit
transformation and is a frequent lecturer, workshop leader, educator,
and inspirer to many. For more information on Dr. Sunray's programs, send an email to
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