Connecting to Others
by Eve A. Wood, M.D.
If you're like most people, you're working more hours
than your parents had to for a comparable lifestyle. You have less leisure
time, are more stressed, feel routinely anxious and behind on your
responsibilities, and see no end to the challenge. You go on vacation to relax
but get overwhelmed with what you need to do in order to get away. You then
come home to more pressure than you left originally. Upon returning, you may
even question the value of leaving in the first place!
Like many others, you probably grew up in a more
connected world than you now inhabit. You spent more time playing with friends
without needing the structure and entertainment that characterizes kids'
playdates today. You often made last-minute plans to eat dinner with a friend,
comparing menus and deciding which one was more appealing. You could do that
because everyone ate at home at about the same time. Very few families do that
anymore; and most kids have too much homework, participate in a bunch of
extracurricular activities, and are running just as hard as their folks.
If you're like many, you have very few real intimate
and enduring relationships and can count on one hand the number of people that
you rely on to be there in a crisis. You may feel lonely, isolated, and
disconnected more often than you'd like to admit.
You see, I know what goes on in the intimacy of
people's lives, because I hear about it all the time. Almost everyone is
feeling this pain of disconnection. And I know from my own personal life as a
wife, mom, doctor, and teacher how lonely it can be to live in our "advanced"
society. We're too busy to be there for ourselves and for one another.
To be connected to others, we must first be in touch
with ourselves, and our inner connection can only come if we make space for
solitude. We're bombarded with stimulation, and we're always running because we
can't seem to get caught up. But this frenetic life we lead is a real crisis, a
disaster, and even a potential death sentence. We crave connection; we need one
another.
We've got to take time to be with ourselves and listen
to our thoughts, bodies, and inner wisdom. We've got to shut out the
distractions, silence the background noise, and force ourselves to create and
protect be-with-myself time. We must recharge.
And then, from our place of greater wholeness, we've
got to work at building connections into our lives. We have to swim
against the current, making sure that what has healed us as a people from one
generation to the next doesn't get lost in the race to advance. The concept is
simple, but it takes a big effort to implement . . . and doing so is crucial to
our survival.
When most people are asked what they want to be
remembered for, what matters most to them in life, or how they'd spend their
remaining days if they only had a few left, the majority focus on relationship
issues. They want to matter to someone, to love and be loved, and to contribute
to making someone's life better.
We most value oneness, love, and connection, yet we
don't make these things enough of a priority in our lives. As a result, we're
unhappy and unwell. We're making ourselves sick, and we've got to stop it. We
have to change our focus and build connections. We can take charge of our love
lives, and we can heal.
This article was excerpted from:
10 Steps to Take Charge of Your Emotional Life
by Eve A. Wood, M.D.
Reprinted with permission of the publisher, Hay House Inc. ©2007. www.HayHouse.com
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About the Author
Eve A. Wood, M.D., the award-winning author of There's Always Help; There's Always
Hope, is the author of numerous articles for
medical and professional publications, is a feature columnist for Massage
Therapy Journal and is a frequent speaker at national workshops and conferences.
Dr. Wood is the host of a weekly call-in radio show, Healing Your Body,
Mind, and Spirit on HayHouseRadio.com. She has served on the faculty of the University of
Pennsylvania School of Medicine, the executive committee of The Institute of
Pennsylvania Hospital, and is Clinical Associate Professor of Medicine at the
University of Arizona Program in Integrative Medicine. Visit her website at www.DrEveWood.com.
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