Sing
Love Songs
to Yourself
by
Marie T. Russell
 Singing
love songs to yourself may sound like something strange
to do but it actually is therapeutic and great for
one's self-esteem — unless of course you already
have an over-inflated ego, then I would not recommend
it.
The
experience of singing love songs to myself first started
when I was listening to the radio and hearing all those
lovey-dovey songs. My "Self" started
substituting in my mind the name of Creator, God, the
Source, etc. for the word 'you'. For example: 'You
are so beautiful to me...' became 'God is so
Beautiful to me". It was a great feeling. Every
time I heard a love song, it turned into a devotional
song of praise and gratitude to the Universe. It
certainly gave a lot more depth to the songs I was
hearing. You may recall the title character in Sister
Act (played by Whoopi Goldberg) doing the same thing...
Turning everyday love songs into devotional songs to
God, or the Universe (or however you wish to portray the
Creative Force), is a wonderful way to connect with love
and feelings of bliss.
Then I
had a brain-wave. I wondered, 'how would it feel to
sing those songs to myself?' Well, my mind really went
to town on that one. You should have heard it! "Who do
you think you are? The Queen of Sheba? Don't you think
your ego is inflated enough as it is?" etcetera
etcetera. Now I know that if my mind kicks into gear
that strongly it's scared about something.
When I
reflected upon it, I realized that singing love songs to
myself would upset all that old conditioning. You know
the stuff about self-sacrifice and always putting the
other one first. The "I'm not good enough, lovable
enough" routine. Well, I bit the bullet and ignored
the rude comments the old programming, via my mind, was
making.
At first
it felt a little strange. "What if someone heard me?
What would they think?" Oops, old programming again. I
can hear my grandmother and my father worried about what
the neighbors would say. Old programming. So, I kept
affirming "I deserve the best in life", and that
includes loving myself completely and unconditionally.
The more
I substituted "me" for "you" in the lyrics, the
better I felt. My self-esteem grew in leaps and bounds.
I really started loving myself more. After all, hearing
someone (especially a famous singer) tell you over and
over that you are wonderful, that you are beautiful,
that you are the most lovable being there is, it finally
sinks in. So when I heard those words rather than direct
them mentally to the man in my life, I addressed them to
me. So, "You are so wonderful to me, can't you see.
You're everything I dreamed for, everything I
need..." became addressed to me... re-affirming
that I am wonderful...
I
started to believe that, yes, I was lovable and
beautiful and wonderful. After all, it worked with the
multiplication tables, did it not? Repeating them over
and over did sink them in to such an extent that we can
multiply those simple numbers without giving it a second
thought.
So
repetition also works with building up self-love and
self-esteem. Try it! Sing love songs to yourself. It may
feel strange at first, but it definitely boosts your
morale and makes you know that you are loved. After all,
you can't lie to yourself. Your subconscious takes at
face value everything you tell it, so your affirmations
are taken as the ultimate truth... even if you don't
really believe them yet.
"I am
so beautiful to me... I'm everything I dreamed of,
everything I need. I am so beautiful, to me..." Sing
that often enough and your self-esteem and self-love
will grow.
It's Always Make-Believe
Another
step is to "pretend" that God is singing those love
songs to you. That feels absolutely great! Makes you
feel like you're on top of the world — which you
are. You'll see that when you start using all those love
songs you hear on the radio and apply them to your
personal growth or to your spiritual growth, it will
make an immense difference on how you see yourself, and
how you view the world.
After
all, don't we feel great when we're in love? Well, what
if we were in love all the time? In love with ourselves
and with the Universe. One way to stay in that state of
mind is to sing those love songs. You'll be amazed at
what it will do... and the opportunities abound.
There
are many songs that when applied to another are
downright "codependent", such as "I'm
nothing without you", but when you sing that to the
Universe or to yourself, if puts it in a whole other
context, doesn't it? Of course you're nothing without
"you" (whether the you is yourself or the
Universe)... However, you are still yourself and a
worthy human being even is your current lover leaves
you.
Many of
the love songs when sung about a man (or woman) are
downright depressing. Again, the best example is the
"I'm nothing without you" cliché. Well,
excuse me, but even if everyone in your life left you,
you would still be "something/someone"... So turn
those songs around, and start singing them for a higher
purpose... that of raising your own self-esteem,
self-love, and/or addressing them to the Creator who
indeed we would be nothing without. (If the Creator --
in whichever form you see it -- was not in existence, we
really would be nothing...)
Go on,
"sing, sing a song, sing it loud, sing it
strong..." and you'll come out stronger yourself.
Don't worry about what others say... You don't have to
tell them that you're singing those songs to yourself or
to God... Just do it! You'll love it!
Recommended book on this topic:
52 Things You Can Do
to Raise Your Self-Esteem
by Jerry Minchinton.
Info/Order
book (reprinted edition)
 About The Author
Marie
T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also
produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from
1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal growth, and
well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own
inner source of joy and creativity.
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