Let Someone Into Your Heart
by Alan H. Cohen
 Everyone has experienced a broken heart. Most of us have at some
time thought or said, "I will never love again." In the wake of
emotional pain, it is natural to want to protect yourself. And in many
situations it's a good idea to retreat into a cocoon for a period of
time while you regroup.
The problem is that when you keep your heart sheltered, you do not
emerge from the cocoon. You end up as a sleeping caterpillar and never
enjoy the exhilarating flight of the butterfly. In your self-protection
you numb yourself to your passion, which is the key to the happiness
you seek. You did not find love by giving yourself away, but neither
will you find it by hiding. You were not born to live in the cold and
dark. You were born to know the love you seek.
There are two ways you can respond to a broken heart: 1) Stop loving; or 2) Love more.
If your heart has been broken, let it be broken open.
Do not use your breakup or betrayal as an excuse to shut down
your heart; instead, practice loving more, beginning with yourself.
Praise yourself for the strides you made rather than condemning
yourself for your errors. Appreciate your partner for their
contribution to your life rather than crucifying them for what they
took away. They do not have the power to take away your good; only you
can remove it by pandering to fear. And only you can restore it by
generating the love you thought you needed from someone else. Your
former partner assisted you to learn a major lesson in loving: you cannot afford to stop.
When you turn off the faucet of your joy, you are the one who loses.
And when you keep it open, you win big time. Use every experience as
rocket fuel to take you where you want to go.
Take what you have and make what you want.
It doesn't matter what avenue through which you let love into
your life; you can practice on anyone or anything. In a seminar I led,
I discovered a common theme among the participants: they had all shut
down on people, but had great relationships with their pets. They found
their relationships with their dogs, cats, birds, and horses safer than
relationships with people. It makes perfect sense. Animals, especially
dogs, lavish upon us unconditional love, for which we deeply long. A
study showed that when patients in several nursing homes were allowed
to keep small lap pets, their medication need was reduced by 70 percent
and their mortality rate slowed by 50 percent. It is not medication
that keeps us alive or lack of it that kills us. It is giving and
receiving love that sustains us.
When you have learned the power of love from your pet, work yourself
up to a human being. Certainly people are more complex, yet the
principles of loving are the same. Just think of your man as a big
Golden Retriever or your woman as a saucy Lhasa Apso. Feed them good
stuff, take them out to play, scratch their belly regularly, and tell
them how wonderful they are. Don't keep their collar too tight or their
leash too short. Don't beat them (with words) to get what you want;
they will only become paranoid and turn on you or run away. When
mating, just go with your natural instincts. Everybody innately knows
how to mate, and if you don't stifle yourself with other people's
opinions, you will have a bunch of fun.
Loving another person is a gift you give yourself. The love you give
flows through you, so no matter how they respond, you receive the
benefit of loving. True love never requires a response. If you are
frustrated because you are not being loved in return, you are not
really loving. Be a lover and you will find all the love you seek. As
D.H. Lawrence eloquently noted,
Those who go searching for love
only find their own lovelessness.
But the loveless never find love;
only the loving find love,
And they never have to search for it.
This article was excerpted from the book:
Why Your Llife Sucks
by Alan H. Cohen.
Reprinted with permission of the publisher, Jodere Group, Inc. ©2002. www.joderegroup.com
Info/Order this book.
About The Author
Alan
Cohen is the author of numerous popular inspirational books, including the
award-winning A
Deep Breath of Life. To request a free catalog of Alan's books,
tapes, and seminars, call 1-800-462-3013 or visit Alan's web site at www.alancohen.com.
For info on upcoming events, contact 455A Kukuna Road, Haiku, HI 96708,
(800) 568-3079, email:
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