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Choosing Between Love & Spirituality?
Q:
Both my relationship and my spiritual
path are sacred to me, but it seems I must
choose one over the other. Which is more
important, a loving relationship with a partner
who does not share my interest in spirituality,
or a wonderful spiritual life without the
partner of my dreams?
A:
I think it's a terrible thing if you
have to choose between your spirituality and your relationship. I certainly
couldn't be in a relationship if my partner was antagonistic to my spiritual
life and way of thinking. I think I could be in a relationship if they were
neutral, though.
In
modern relationships you often find that both
parties might start out in a very Neanderthal
tick-tock consciousness, then one party begins
to work on themselves and really moves forward
metaphysically and spiritually. This leaves the
other Neanderthal member behind.
Sometimes
that will work fine, because a compromise takes
place, and metaphysics and spirituality are
simply not discussed. Then sometimes you can
evolve yourself out of a relationship because
you're moving quickly and your partner isn't.
If
you've grown way beyond your partner, you might
have to leave. I can't imagine a relationship
that was so magnificent I'd want to give up my
metaphysics or spirituality or my path toward
God. Somebody else might think differently, but
that's my view.
*****
Q:
I have a burning desire to explore tantric
sex, but my partner is not interested. What do
you suggest?
A:
This is a
tough one. I think tantric sex manuals and books
are laced with a lot of "ooh" and
"aah" that doesn't amount to much. A
lot of it is the raising of the kundalini from
the root to the crown chakra, and I think you
can do that quietly on your own. The heat of the
sexual act creates energy, which you can
mentally pull up the spine to the crown chakra.
Visualizing it rising unblocks the etheric channel,
and the power flows up the spine to the top of
the head. You can create the effect of tantric
sex without the other partner really knowing
what's going on.
*****
Q:
How do you know when to persevere
with a relationship and when to let go?
A:
If you feel restricted or if you feel a
tremendous amount of emotional pain, then you really need to see whether those
knots and that restriction can be unraveled. If they can't, obviously it is the
fault of the relationship and your reaction to the relationship, and you should
probably let go.
What is the level of restriction
you feel? What is the level of emotional pain you feel? Are you getting out of
this relationship as much as you're putting in? If there is an overdraft, an
imbalance in the emotional-energy bank account, then you need to reassess the
relationship.
It
seems weird that people nowadays are so scared
of being on their own. Being on your own somehow
seems like a failure. When you think about it,
being on your own actually exhibits
maturity.
Most
people who think they need someone in order to
feel safe and secure probably don't need anybody
at all. In fact, they probably ought to live on
their own for a bit and become self-sufficient.
If you enjoyed this article, purchase the book
here.
"Simply
Wilde"
by Stuart Wilde and Leon Nacson.
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