Developing the
Compassionate Heart
by Sharon Salzberg
I teach one thing and one only:
that is, suffering and the end of suffering.
-- THE BUDDHA
Once
I gave a talk on the differences between aversion and compassion. Someone came
to speak to me, quite upset. He told me about his sister who was severely
brain-damaged and in a nursing home, all too often receiving substandard care.
He insisted that only his repeated, infuriated interventions were keeping her
alive in that institution. His whole body was trembling as he spoke. After some
moments, I asked him, "What is your inner reality like?" He replied, "I'm dying
inside. The anger is killing me!" Certainly there are injustices to be named in
this world, and hate-filled situations to be changed, and inequities to be
remedied. There is appropriate treatment to be demanded, without prejudice or
fear. But can we do these things without destroying ourselves through anger?
The state of compassion as the trembling of the heart arises with a quality
of equanimity. Can you imagine a mind state in which there is no bitter,
condemning judgment of oneself or of others? This mind does not see the world in
terms of good and bad, right and wrong, good and evil; it sees only "suffering
and the end of suffering." What would happen if we looked at ourselves and all
of the different things that we see and did not judge any of it? We would see
that some things bring pain and others bring happiness, but there would be no
denunciation, no guilt, no shame, no fear. How wondrous to see ourselves,
others, and the world in that way!
When we see only suffering and the end of suffering, then we feel compassion.
Then we can act in energetic and forceful ways but without the corrosive effects
of aversion. Compassion can lead to very forceful action without any anger or
aversion in it. When we see a small child reaching toward a hot burner on a
stove, we instantly take action! Our response is born out of the compassion we
feel: we move to pull the child back, away from harm. We do not reject or
condemn the child.
To be compassionate is to wish that a being or all beings be free from pain.
To be compassionate is to sense from within what it must be like to experience
someone else's experience. I had such an opening at the end of my first visit to
the Soviet Union.
In the airport, just as I was leaving, I had to go through Soviet passport
control. This inspection was done quite formally because, I imagine, they did
not want Soviet citizens leaving the country with falsified foreign passports.
So, passport control was something of an ordeal. Smiling, I handed my passport
to a uniformed Soviet official. He looked at my picture, and he looked at me,
and he looked at my picture, and he looked at me. The look he gave me was, I
think, the most hateful stare I have ever received from anybody in my life. It
was an icy rage. It was the first time in my life that I had experienced that
kind of energy so directly and personally. I just stood there, shocked. Finally,
after quite a long period of time, the official handed me back my passport and
told me to go.
I went to the transit lounge of the airport, where my traveling companions
were waiting for me. I was very upset. I felt as though the man's energy had
poisoned my being. I had absorbed his hatred, and I was reacting strongly to it.
Then, in one moment, everything shifted. I thought, "If being exposed to his
energy could make me feel so terrible after ten minutes, what would it be like
to live inside that energetic vibration all the time?" I realized that this man
might wake up, spend much of the day, and go to sleep in a state quite similar
to the one I had just experienced from him. A tremendous feeling of compassion
came into me for him. He was no longer a threatening enemy, but rather someone
in what seemed to be intense suffering.
To view life compassionately, we have to look at what is happening and at the
conditions that gave rise to it. Instead of only looking at the last point, or
the end result, we need to see all of the constituent parts. The teachings of
the Buddha can be distilled into an understanding that all things in the
conditioned universe arise due to a cause. Have you ever had the experience of
feeling resentful toward someone and then having an insight into what in their
history might have caused them to behave in a certain way? Suddenly you can see
the conditions that gave rise to that situation, not simply the end result of
those conditions.
Once I knew two people, who had both suffered from abuse in childhood. One, a
woman, grew up to be quite fearful, while the other, a man, grew up to be quite
angry. The woman found herself in a work situation with the man, disliked him
intensely, and was trying to have him fired from his job. At one point in the
process, she got a glimpse into his background and recognized how they both had
suffered in the same way. "He's a brother!" she exclaimed.
This kind of understanding does not mean that we dismiss or condone a
person's negative behavior. But we can look at all of the elements that go into
making up that person's life, and can acknowledge their conditioned nature. To
see the interdependent arising of these impersonal forces that makeup our
"selves" can provide the opening for forgiveness and compassion.
Compassion means taking the time to look at the conditions, or the building
blocks, of any situation. We must be able to look at things as they are actually
arising in each moment. We must have the openness and spaciousness to see both
the conditions and the context. We may, for example, hear a statement such as
"Heroin is a very dangerous drug." This is undoubtedly true. But is it
necessarily true for someone who is terminally ill, in excruciating pain? What
is the context of the reality of the moment? If we can look in that way, we are
not held to rigid categories that may close off our compassionate understanding.
Whatever life presents to us, our response can be an expression of our
compassion. Whether someone speaks truthfully to us or deceitfully, harshly or
gently, we might respond with a loving mind. This is also an act of
compassionate service.
The Buddha himself expressed compassion in many different ways. His
compassion was measureless, reaching from the most personal level to the most
absolute. His service to beings ranged from caring for the sick to teaching a
path of liberation. To him, the two were not distinct from each other.
Once a monk in the Buddha's time came down with a terrible disease that had
some very unpleasant manifestations. He had, according to the text, oozing sores
that looked and smelled so horrible that everybody avoided him completely. This
monk lay helpless in bed, dying a grisly death with no one to care for him. When
the Buddha became aware of this situation, he himself went into the monk's hut,
bathed his wounds, cared for him, and gave him reassurance and spiritual
instruction.
Later, the Buddha addressed the monastic community, saying that if somebody
wanted to serve him, the Buddha, they should look after the sick. Those words
seem so like ones spoken nearly five hundred years later by another
compassionate spiritual teacher: "Whatsoever you do unto the least of these, so
also you do unto me."
According to the Buddha, to develop compassion it is important to consider
the human condition on every level: personal, social, and political. Once the
Buddha described a king who decided to give over his kingdom to his son. He
instructed him to be both righteous and generous in his new role as king. As
time went on, although the new king took care to be just, he neglected to be
generous. People became much poorer in his kingdom, and thievery increased. The
king tried to suppress this thievery by instituting many harsh punishments. In
commenting on this story, the Buddha pointed out how unsuccessful these
punishments were. He went on to say that in order to suppress crime, the
economic conditions of the people needed to be improved. He talked about how
grain and agricultural help should be provided for farmers, capital should be
given to traders, and adequate wages should be given to those who are employed.
Rather than responding to social problems through taxation or punishment, the
Buddha's advice was to see the conditions that have come together to create a
context in which people behave in a certain way, and then to change those
conditions. The text states that poverty is one root of theft and violence, and
that kings (or governments) must look at such causes in order to understand the
effects. It is much easier to be moral if one's life is secure in some way, and
much more difficult to refrain from stealing if one's children or parents are
hungry. Thus our commitment should be to create conditions so that people can
more easily be moral. The very pragmatism of this teaching of the Buddha
reflects the depth of his compassion.
The Buddha's teaching is never removed from a sense of humanity. He described
the motivating principle of his life as dedication to the welfare and the
happiness of all beings, out of sympathy for all that lives. He also encouraged
the same dedication in others: to see our very lives as vehicles to bring
happiness, to bring peace, for the benefit of all beings.
A compassionate act does not have to be grandiose. The very simple action of
love, of opening to people, of offering somebody some food, of saying hello, of
asking what happened, of really being present ? all are very powerful
expressions of compassion. Compassion enjoins us to respond to pain, and wisdom
guides the skillfulness of the response, telling us when and how to respond.
Through compassion our lives become an expression of all that we understand and
care about and value.
To develop a compassionate heart is not just an idealistic overlay. It arises
from seeing the truth of suffering and opening to it. Out of this arises a sense
of purpose, a sense of meaning so strong in our lives that no matter what the
circumstances, no matter what the situation, our goal or our greatest desire at
any moment is to express genuine love. Our inherent capacity for love can never
be destroyed. Just as the whole earth cannot be destroyed by someone repeatedly
hurling themselves against it, so too a compassionate heart will not be
destroyed in an onslaught of adversity. Through practicing compassion, we
develop a mind that is vast and free from enmity. This is boundless,
unconditioned love.
EXERCISE: Meditation on Compassion
In doing meditation specifically designed to nurture compassion, we usually
use just one or two phrases, such as "May you be free of your pain and sorrow"
or "May you find peace." It is important that the phrase be meaningful to you.
Sometimes people feel more comfortable using a phrase that implies the wish for
a more loving acceptance of pain, rather than freedom from pain. You should
experiment with different phrases, seeing which ones support a compassionate
opening to pain and which ones seem to lead you more in the direction of
aversion or grief.
The first object of the compassion meditation is someone with great physical
or mental suffering. The texts state that this should be a real person, not just
a symbolic aggregate of all suffering beings. Spend some time directing the
compassion phrase toward this person, remaining cognizant of their difficulties
and heartaches.
You can progress from there through the same sequence that unfolds in the
metta practice: self, benefactor, friend, neutral person, difficult person, all
beings, all living beings, ... all females, all males ... all beings in the ten
directions.
Take up the compassion practice at your own pace ? move from category to
category as you feel ready. Remember that all beings face great potential
suffering, no matter how fortunate their immediate circumstance might be. This
is simply the nature of change in the course of life's unfolding.
If you feel yourself moving from the trembling of the heart that is
compassion into states of fear, despair, or sorrow, first of all accept that
this is natural. Breathe softly, and use your awareness of the breath to anchor
yourself in this moment. Reach underneath the fear or rejection of pain to the
sense of oneness with all beings that underlies it. You can reflect on that
sense of oneness and rejoice in it. Suffering is an intrinsic part of life and
will certainly not disappear from the lives of beings no matter how earnestly we
wish for it to. What we are doing in the compassion meditation is purifying and
transforming our relationship to suffering, whether it is our own or that of
others. Being able to acknowledge suffering, open to it, and respond to it with
a tenderness of heart allows us to join with all beings, and to realize that we
are never alone.
EXERCISE: Compassion for Those Who Cause Pain
A further compassion meditation begins with using the phrase "May you be free
of your pain and sorrow," directed toward someone who is causing harm in the
world. This is based on the understanding that causing harm to others inevitably
means creating harm for oneself, both now and in the future. Seeing someone lie,
steal, or hurt beings in some other way is therefore the ground out of which
compassion for them can arise. When I've taught this meditation on retreats,
people often choose their least favorite political leader as the object. It is
not necessarily an easy practice, but it can revolutionize our understanding.
If you are filled with judgment or condemnation of yourself or others, can
you revise your perceptions to see the world in terms of suffering and the end
of suffering, instead of good and bad? To see the world in terms of suffering
and the end of suffering is buddha-mind, and will lead us away from
righteousness and anger. Get in touch with your own buddha-mind, and you will
uncover a healing force of compassion.
You can move from directing compassion to someone creating harm, through the
cycle of beings (self, benefactor, etc.). Notice particularly whether this
meditation, over time, creates a different relationship to yourself, and to your
enemy. Remember that compassion doesn't need to justify itself ? it is its own
reason for being.
 This
article was excerpted from:
Loving Kindness
by Sharon Salzberg.
Reprinted with permission of the publisher, Shambhala Publications, Inc.
©1995. www.shambhala.com
Info/Order this book.
About the Author
SHARON
SALZBERG has been practicing Buddhist meditation for twenty-five years. She is a
cofounder of the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts, and teaches
meditation around the country. Visit her website at www.sharonsalzberg.com
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