Dealing with Strong Emotions
by Osho
When a
mood against someone or for someone arises, do not place
it on the person in questions, but remain centered.
If hate
arises for someone or against someone, or love arises
for someone, what do we do? We project it on the person.
If you feel hate toward me, you forget yourself
completely in your hate; only I become your object. If
you feel love toward me, you forget yourself completely;
only I become the object. You project your love or hate
or whatsoever upon me. You forget completely the inner
center of your being; the other becomes the center.
This
sutra says when hate arises or love arises, or any mood
for or against anyone, do not project it on the person
in question. Remember, you are the source of it.
I love
you -- the ordinary feeling is that you are the source
of my love. That is not really so. I am the source, you
are just a screen on which I project my love.
You are
just a screen; I project my love on you and I say that
you are the source of my love. This is not fact, this is
fiction. I draw my love energy and project it onto you.
In that love energy projected onto you, you become
loveable. You may not be loveable to someone else, you
may be absolutely repulsive to someone else. Why?
If you
are the source of love then everyone will feel loving
toward you, but you are not the source.
I
project love, then you become loveable; someone projects
hate, then you become repulsive. And someone else
doesn't project anything, he is indifferent; he may not
even have looked at you.
What is
happening? We are projecting our own moods upon others.
That is why, if you are on your honeymoon, the moon
looks beautiful, miraculous, wonderful. It seems that
the whole world is different. And on the same night,
just for your neighbor, this miraculous night may not be
in existence at all. His child has died -- then the same
moon is just sad, intolerable. But for you it is
enchanting, fascinating; it creates passion. Why? Is the
moon the source or is the moon just a screen and you are
projecting yourself?
This
sutra says, when a mood against someone or for someone
arises, do not place it on the person in question -- or
on the object in question. Remain centered.
Remember
that you are the source, so do not move to the other,
move to the source. When you feel hate, do not go to the
object. Go to the point from where the hate is coming.
Go not to the person to whom it is going, but to the
center from where it is coming.
Move to
the center, go within. Use your hate or love or anger or
anything as a journey toward your inner center, to the
source. Move to the source and remain centered there.
Try it! This is a very, very scientific, psychological
technique.
Someone
has insulted you -- anger suddenly erupts, you are
feverish. Anger is flowing toward the person who has
insulted you. Now you will project this whole anger onto
him. He has not done anything. If he has insulted you,
what has he done? He has just pricked you, he has helped
your anger to arise -- but the anger is yours. If he
goes to Buddha and insults him, he will not be able to
create any anger in him. Or if he goes to Jesus, Jesus
will give him the other cheek. Or if he goes to
Bodhidharma, he will roar with laughter. So it depends.
The
other is not the source, the source is always within
you. The other is hitting the source, but if there is no
anger within you it cannot come out. If you hit a
Buddha, only compassion will come out because only
compassion is there. Anger will not come out because
anger is not there.
If you
throw a bucket into a dry well, nothing comes out. In a
water-filled well, you throw a bucket and water comes
out, but the water is from the well. The bucket only
helps to bring it out. So one who is insulting you is
just throwing a bucket in you, and then the bucket will
come out filled with the anger, hate, or fire that was
within you.
You are
the source, remember.
For this
technique, remember that you are the source of
everything that you go on projecting onto others. And
whenever there is a mood against or for, immediately
move within and go to the source from where this hate is
coming.
Remain
centered there; do not move to the object. Someone has
given you a chance to be aware of your own anger --
thank him immediately and forget him. Close your eyes,
move within, and now look at the source from where this
love or anger is coming. From where?
Go
within, move within. You will find the source there
because the anger is coming from your source. Hate or
love or anything is coming from your source. And it is
easy to go to the source at the moment you are angry or
in love or in hate, because then you are hot. It is easy
to move in then. The wire is hot and you can take it in,
you can move inward with that hotness. And when you
reach a cool point within, you will suddenly realize a
different dimension, a different world opening before
you.
Use
anger, use hate, use love to go within. We use it always
to move to the other, and we feel very much frustrated
if no one is there to project upon. Then we go on
projecting even on inanimate objects. I have seen
persons being angry at their shoes, throwing them in
anger. What are they doing? I have seen angry persons
pushing a door in anger, throwing their anger on the
door, abusing the door, using dirty language against the
door. What are they doing?
I will
end with one Zen insight about this. One of the greatest
of Zen masters, Lin Chi, used to say, "While I was
young I was very fascinated by boating. I had one small
boat, and I would go on the lake alone. For hours
together I would remain there." Once it happened
that with closed eyes I was in my boat meditating on the
beautiful night. One empty boat came floating downstream
and struck my boat. My eyes were closed, so I thought,
'Someone is here with his boat, and he has struck my
boat.' Anger arose. I opened my eyes and I was just
going to say something to that man in anger, then I
realized that the boat was empty. Then there was no way
to move. To whom could I express the anger? The boat was
empty. It was just floating downstream, and it had come
and struck my boat. So there was nothing to do. There
was no possibility to project the anger on an empty
boat."
So Lin
Chi said, "I closed my eyes. The anger was there,
but finding no way out, I closed my eyes and just
floated backward with the anger. And that empty boat
became my realization. I came to a point within myself
in that silent night. That empty boat was my master. And
now if someone comes and insults me, I laugh and I say,
'This boat is also empty.' I close my eyes and I go
within."
Use this
technique. It may work miracles for you.
This
meditation is excerted with permission from:
 The
Book of Secrets:
An underground classic on meditation - 112 techniques.
by Osho.
© Osho
International Foundation. All rights
reserved.
Info/Order
this book
Or
order: The
Book of Secrets
in cassette format (abridged).
About The
Author
This
meditation is excerpted from The Book of
Secrets by Osho who is one of the best-known and most provocative spiritual teachers of
the 20th century. Even since his death in 1990, the influence of
his teachings continues to expand, reaching seekers of all ages in virtually
every country of the world. For more information, visit www.osho.org
where these is an "Ask Osho"
section where people can write their
question and the web editors will find the
nearest answer to the question from Osho,
who has answered thousands of questions
from seekers over the years.
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