Overcoming Resistance
to Meditation
by Tulku Thondup
When
we start to do something meaningful and important, such as meditation,
excuses come up that prevent us from giving it our whole heart
and attention.
We can fritter away days and nights on mindless diversions, but when
it comes time to meditate, suddenly all sorts of obligations, false
expectations, or doubts arise. We might think, "I should be with my
family," or "I need to concentrate on making money," or "I should be
doing some social work." Or else we doubt the meditation: "I'm not
equipped for this. Maybe there's a better method," and so forth. The
self-deluding excuses are endless.
Obstacles like these, both in daily life and in meditation, can
start as innocent imps but turn into destructive demons if we are not
careful. A few years after arriving in India as a refugee, I began to
learn English. Whenever I picked up my English reader, my concentration
was always broken by such thoughts as, "It's more important to pray and
meditate than to study English. Before I can learn English, I might be
dead. At death, nothing but positive habits of mind will benefit me."
But then when I prayed, messages would come into my head, such as,
"Life is long, refugee life is hard, and in order to survive, I must
learn English."
I indulged in all kinds of feasts of laziness to avoid what was good
for me. It took a lot of time and effort to overcome my resistance and
to feel comfortable learning English when I was supposed to study it
and saying prayers when I was supposed to pray.
Overcoming such habitual tendencies, reprogramming my mental habits,
came as the result of long and consistent discipline through two
methods: (I) vigilant mindfulness and (2) applying the whip of right
messages.
Mindfulness is the term Buddhists use to describe the giving of
oneself to the moment. Instead of worrying about the past or planning
for the future, we learn to feel at home in the present. It is the most
wonderful guardian of our well-being if we live this way. So, no matter
whether we are cutting the lawn or meditating, we should give ourselves
completely to that. Our minds are really most at home living fully like
this, but it can take practice before we learn to be in the present
moment without chasing after cravings or worries.
If we feel resistance to something, one approach is simply to be
aware of the resistance, without judgment or guilt. Then we can ease
into the activity slowly, with an openhearted feeling that we will
simply give ourselves to doing that. It's surprising how much we can
learn to enjoy what we're doing if we are patient and open and if we
just live in the present.
It could also help to push ourselves a little, gently but firmly. We
can recognize the tricks of the wild and wandering mind and give
ourselves a positive message to get back on track. When I was growing
up in the monastery, my wise and dignified tutors knew all the tricks
of boys who could be lazy and unruly. Often teachers could be strict,
but my teachers were always loving. Sometimes the training we give our
minds is like the training loving parents give to small children, who
must be guided to keep them from wandering off into possible harm.
We need to learn a balanced approach to our minds, sometimes pushing
gently but firmly if the mind is too lazy or wandering but never being
too forceful or aggressive. When we are meditating, it can be easy to
give up at the slightest unpleasant feeling or resistance. Again, we
should simply be aware of those feelings and then ease back into the
meditation.
FEELING GOOD ABOUT MEDITATION
Many
beginning meditators have complained to me, "It isn't fair for me to
meditate in a pleasant place and experience peace while so many others
are struggling."
Although this is a beautiful thought, it is also outrageous. If we
are honestly worried about being selfish, we are to be commended for
such a wonderful attitude. If we respect and care about others more
than ourselves, that is the heart of Buddhist practice. That attitude
will naturally give us more strength and openness, and those who have
it deserve to be saluted. But most of these guilty feelings ("I should
be helping others, not meditating") are excuses to avoid making a
commitment to anything worthy. Those who dwell on the need to be
"selfless" as a substitute for nurturing peace of mind may be using
this as an excuse to remain idle.
Such guilt feelings could be a sign of shock, a reaction to having
our inner wounds poked by our new experience of meditation. The
experience might be so intense and foreign that some of us feel safer
shying away from it than bearing it.
We must understand that in order to help others, we need to improve
our own minds and allow ourselves the chance to experience peace. If we
don't have bread, how can we share a piece of bread with another hungry
person? If our minds are filled with worries, hatred, and pain, how can
we help others find peace and joy?
As the Christian contemplative Thomas à Kempis said, "Keep yourself
at peace first, and then you will be able to bring peace to others."
MAKING IT SIMPLE
Sometimes
a very simple approach to meditation is needed, either because of time
constraints or because utter simplicity suits your temperament and
background.
One of the simplest meditations of all is to follow your breathing.
Bringing your awareness to your breathing is an elemental act of
contemplation. It focuses and calms you, and while it is absolutely
appropriate for beginners, it can also lead to higher realization.
During the activities of the day, you can reconnect with your breathing
at any moment, touching calmness and peace on the inhalation and
exhalation. When you are distressed, focusing on the exhalation can
help calm you down.
Another simple approach is to meditate on first waking in the
morning, while still in bed. When people are looking for something
"easy" but effective, this is the practice I most often recommend. Your
awareness is so open upon first awakening, it is a fertile moment to
encourage your peaceful mind. Instead of chasing after scattered
thoughts and worries, simply rest in the open feeling of waking up. Be
aware of the warmth of your body or your breathing or the light coming
in the window. Rest openly in whatever feeling you are having. You
could also think of your body as being a body of light, like the light
of a new day.
When you rise, get up mindfully, with a heart open to the new day.
Then pause during your daily routine and bring back whatever peaceful
or spacious feeling you may have experienced in the morning. Allow
yourself a few moments to rest in the openness.
You need to know enough about your mind to choose which meditation
is best suited to your needs. Your needs, as a meditator and
participant in life, can change according to the moment and the demands
of mood and circumstance. The wise counsel of others can help you. But
ultimately you are responsible for your own well-being and must look to
your inner wisdom to help guide you.
AVOIDING EXPECTATIONS
For
healing, it is important to have inspiration. A hopeful and inspired
feeling generates enthusiasm, trust, and openness and makes it easier
for us to meditate.
However, we should not obsess about the meditation experience or
have rigid expectations about what should happen. Grasping after
results will only become a tourniquet that constricts our mental and
physical energies.
We shouldn't impose mental limits of time, quality, or scope, such
as the thought, "I should be healed within such and such a time," or "I
must do an effective job of healing my problem." Such a mind-set can
limit our progress.
In a natural way, we must take every breath and every day of our
lives, no matter what it brings, as part of the process of healing,
just as people go to work every day, rain or shine.
STAYING WITH IT
Some
people who come to my workshops think that all their problems will be
cured, like magic, in one session. Unfortunately, it hardly works that
way. These days, we're conditioned to want a "quick fix" and instant
results. If we meditate with wholehearted openness, it can make a
difference even in a weekend. But we have to keep going.
Not long ago, a great Buddhist spiritual teacher gave a talk to a
Western audience, advising them to meditate a little bit every day. "It
may not make a difference in the short run," he said, "but in weeks,
months, years, or maybe decades, then you will feel something
different." People started laughing; they had wanted to hear him say
that all the benefits would be achieved immediately. But it can take
time, and that discourages a lot of us. If we resolve to practice this
week for ten hours and we're not totally changed people as a result,
we're ready to give up. We think it's not working.
For years, much of our energy has gone into worrying about problems
and about what we want. This is like negative meditation. So we've been
training ourselves in the wrong direction. Reversing this takes more
than a few hours or days.
We need to be patient and consistent. We eat food every day. We
don't question doing that. But when it comes to meditation, we
somehow think, "I did it once; I don't want to do it again."
The key is to make meditation a part of our lives, like weaving a
thread into the fabric of a tapestry. Bringing an attitude of enjoyment
to our meditation helps tremendously. It also helps for us to bring the
peaceful feelings of meditation into our daily activities. That is how
we can begin tasting the fruits of our efforts.
When the healing of mind becomes a habit, our minds become like a
great river. Although the river may not always appear to be moving, if
we look closely enough, we will see how the water is slowly, slowly
making its way to the sea.
REJOICING IN PROGRESS
It
is always important to see and recognize the progress that you have
made as the result of your meditation, even if it is small. Notice any
positive change in how you think, feel, or act. Give yourself the
opportunity to enjoy the experience of feeling good, as much and as
long as you can. Celebrate and rejoice in any progress whatsoever. When
you stumble, be glad of that, too, since struggle can be a fruitful
part of growth if you think of it that way.
Even if you have made good progress, you will diminish it by
thinking, "Oh, my meditative progress is so insignificant," or "What
can a little meditative experience do in relation to the mountains of
problems I'm facing?" Then the positive energy that you have generated
by the meditation will dissipate, and your negative energies will have
a chance to regain their foothold.
If you meditate for five minutes, don't say, "It's too bad I
couldn't have meditated for half an hour." Instead, tell yourself, "I
did five minutes. Wonderful!" Sometimes we are lazy, crazy, or wild;
then we may need to push ourselves back on the path. But beware of
always putting a negative spin on what you do. Instead, notice the
positive, expand on the feeling, and keep the healing energy flowing.
When you rejoice over the meditation that you have done, then even
if your meditation and its results are insignificant, the healing power
generated by them will become magnified. The healing of your afflicted
mind can continue day and night because of the power of rejoicing. It
is like investing a little capital in an extremely hot stock in a
booming market.
This article was excerpted from
 Boundless Healing: Meditation Exercises to Enlighten the Mind and Heal the Body
by Tulku Thondup.
Reprinted with permission of the publisher, Shambhala. ©2000. www.shambhala.com
Info/Order this book.
Another article by this author.
About the Author
Tulku Thondup was born in Tibet and studied at the Dodrupchen
Mastery. He fled to India in 1958, where he taught for many years. In
1980 he moved to the United States as a visiting scholar at Harvard
University. His many books on Tibetan Buddhism include The healing
Power of Mind, Masters of Meditation Miracles, Enlightened Journey, and
The Practice of Dzogchen.
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