Building Self-Esteem

by Louise L. Hay

You'll never have good self-esteem if you have negative thoughts about yourself. Self-esteem is merely feeling good about yourself, and when you do so, you develop confidence. Confidence then builds self-esteem -- each step feeds upon the other. Once you get the rhythm going, you can accomplish almost anything.

Since self-esteem is what you think about yourself, you have the freedom to think anything you want. So why would you want to belittle yourself?

Little babies will die if they don't get love. Once we're older, we learn to live without love, but no baby will stand for that. Babies also love every inch of their bodies, even their own feces. They have no guilt, no shame, no comparisons. They know they're unique and wonderful.

You were like that. Then somewhere during your childhood, your well-meaning parents passed on their own insecure feelings and taught you feelings of inadequacy and fear. At that point, you began to deny your own magnificence. These thoughts and feelings were never true, and they certainly aren't true now. So I want to bring you back to the time when you really knew how to love yourself by talking about mirror work.

Mirror work is simple and very powerful. It simply involves looking into a mirror when you say your affirmations. Mirrors reflect our true feelings back to us. As children, we received most of our negative messages from adults, many of them looking us straight in the eye and perhaps even shaking a finger at us. Today, when most of us look into a mirror, we'll say something negative. We either criticize our looks, or berate ourselves for something else.

To look yourself in the eye and make a positive declaration is one of the quickest ways to get positive results with affirmations. I ask people to look in their eyes and say something positive about themselves every time they pass a mirror.

If something unpleasant happens to you during the day, immediately go to the mirror and say: "I love you anyway." Events come and go, but the love you have for yourself can be constant, and it's the most important quality you possess in life. If something wonderful happens, go to the mirror and say, "Thank you." Acknowledge yourself for creating this wonderful experience.

First thing in the morning and last thing in the evening, I want you to look into your eyes and say: "I love you, I really love you. And I accept you exactly as you are." It can be tough at first, but if you stick with it, in a short time this affirmation will be true for you. Won't that be fun!

You'll find that as your self-love grows, so will your self-respect, and any changes that you find yourself needing to make will be easier to accomplish when you know that they're the right ones for you. Love is never outside yourself -- it's always within you. As you're more loving, you'll be more lovable.

So choose new thoughts to think about yourself, and choose new words tell yourself -- how magnificent you are and that you deserve all the good that Life has to offer.

POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS FOR SELF-ESTEEM

* I AM TOTALLY ADEQUATE FOR ALL SITUATIONS.

* I CHOOSE TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF. I AM WORTHY OF MY OWN LOVE.

* I STAND ON MY OWN TWO FEET. I ACCEPT AND USE MY OWN POWER.

* IT IS SAFE FOR ME TO SPEAK UP FOR MYSELF.

* IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY OR DO. WHAT MATTERS IS HOW I CHOOSE TO REACT AND WHAT I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE ABOUT MYSELF.

* I TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND ALLOW MYSELF TO RELAX. MY ENTIRE BODY CALMS DOWN.

* I AM LOVED AND ACCEPTED EXACTLY AS I AM, RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW.

* I SEE THE WORLD THROUGH EYES OF LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE. ALL IS WELL IN MY WORLD.

* MY SELF-ESTEEM IS HIGH BECAUSE I HONOR WHO I AM.

* I WILLINGLY RELEASE ANY NEED FOR STRUGGLE OR SUFFERING. I DESERVE ALL THAT IS GOOD.

* MY LIFE GETS MORE FABULOUS EVERY DAY. I LOOK FORWARD TO WHAT EACH NEW HOUR BRINGS.

* I AM NEITHER TOO LITTLE NOR TOO MUCH, AND I DO NOT HAVE TO PROVE MYSELF TO ANYONE.

* TODAY, NO PERSON, PLACE, OR THING CAN IRRITATE OR ANNOY ME. I CHOOSE TO BE AT PEACE.

* FOR EVERY PROBLEM THAT I MAY CREATE, I AM CONFIDENT THAT I CAN FIND A SOLUTION.

* LIFE SUPPORTS ME IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY.

* MY CONSCIOUSNESS IS FILLED WITH HEALTHY, POSITIVE, LOVING THOUGHTS THAT REFLECT THEMSELVES IN MY EXPERIENCE.

* I MOVE THROUGH LIFE AND KNOW THAT I AM SAFE -- DIVINELY PROTECTED AND GUIDED.

* I ACCEPT OTHERS AS THEY ARE; AND THEY, IN TURN, ACCEPT ME.

* I AM WONDERFUL, AND I FEEL GREAT. I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE.

* THIS IS THE ONLY TIME I GET TO LIVE TODAY. I CHOOSE TO ENJOY IT.

* I HAVE THE SELF-ESTEEM, POWER, AND CONFIDENCE TO MOVE FORWARD IN LIFE WITH EASE.

* THE GREATEST GIFT I CAN GIVE MYSELF IS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

* I LOVE MYSELF EXACTLY AS I AM. I NO LONGER WAIT TO BE PERFECT IN ORDER TO LOVE MYSELF.

This article was excerpted from:

I Can Do It: How to Use Affirmations to Change Your Life (Book and Affirmation CD)
by Louise L. Hay.

Reprinted with permission of the publisher, Hay House, Inc. ©2004. www.hayhouse.com

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