I Am Not My Mother

by Marie T. Russell

Marie T. Russell Some people feel that they are limited by their genes, by what is encoded in their DNA. While studies show that identical twins raised in different environments have some strikingly similar tastes and behaviors, one must be careful not to use genetics as an excuse. "My family is prone to heart attacks" or "My mother was overweight" can be an excuse to live and eat in unhealthy patterns. While those unhealthy patterns were probably learnt from our mothers and grandmothers (and fathers and grandfathers), they are not necessarily inherited. Now of course, there are genetics involved, yet we must also give credence to all the studies about the power of the mind.

It has been shown that what people believe about themselves becomes true. We have all heard of self-fulfilling prophecies. In many instances we apply those to others, not seeing that we fulfill our own self-prophecies daily. Statements such as "migraines run in my family" may be true, but that does not necessarily make us victims. We have choices we can make. There is a lot of new information as to how to not only alleviate migraines, but also prevent them. Some of the answers lie in nutrition, others in fitness regimens, and others in alleviating stressful situations in our lives. So even though migraines might be hereditary, there is something that we can do. We do not have to bow our heads and say "There's nothing I can do. It's in my genes."

We need to look at ourselves realistically, using what we know of our family background and patterns, and then decide where we want to go from there. In some areas of our life, that's easy. Just because your parents grew up in a city (or a farm) doesn't mean that you have to live there. That's obvious. But is it just as obvious that because our parents were alcoholics (or cigarette smokers, or overweight, or workaholics, or died of a heart attack or cancer, etc.) that we don't have to follow in their footsteps? Yes, we may have the tendency to do so. We may have inherited some genetic patterns that predispose us to certain diseases, we may have absorbed their behavior as a child learns from their role model - but we have the benefit of research and advanced technology. We also have the advantage of knowing the power of mind over matter.

Patients who are told by their doctors that they have 3 months to live, often do exactly that. Is it because the doctor was right, or is it because the patient believed the doctor was "omnipotent" and thus fell into self-fulfilling prophecy manifestation. On the other hand, patients who refuse to believe the doctor, often go out and find alternative ways to regain their health, and not only live the 3 months " prescribed" by the doctor, but go on to live 10, 20 and sometimes 30 years.

I know a man who was told by the doctor over 30 years ago that he had one year to live. Why? Because he had cirrhosis of the liver. The doctor told him that unless he quit drinking, he'd be a goner in one year. Well, that was thirty years ago. The man is still alive. No, he didn't quit drinking, yet he refused to believe the verdict of the doctor, and 30 years later, he's still alive. Now, that's the power of the mind. Sometimes stubbornness is enough to get you through. Refusing to die, or refusing to let the doctor be "right", can be a powerful manifestation tool.

So are we locked in to our genetics? If we want to, yes. But if we want to be stubborn about it, take charge of our life, and use the power of our mind along with the tools of knowledge, we can bypass the programming and we can rise above the limitations of our cells. We are not this body. This body is our vehicle, the "car" that carries our soul or spirit. In the same way that your car may have certain weaknesses, we also know that taking care of it extremely well will allow you to drive your vehicle without having it break down (or at least it will delay that occurrence).

So am I my mother? No! I may have certain inherited similarities. I may have certain tendencies. I certainly grew up being taught her beliefs. But, I can now rise above the patterning and know that I am not she. I am my own person, and can choose my own beliefs, my own illness or health, and my own future. Knowing that we are not "stuck" in our ancestral patterns is the first step in the direction of freedom and liberation from pain and fear.

Freedom: The Courage to Be Yoruself
Recommended book:

Freedom: The Courage to Be Yourself
by Osho.

Info/Order this book

About The Author

Marie T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from 1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal growth, and well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own inner source of joy and creativity.

 

Comments

Tracey said: _

  Thank you so much for this article!! I refuse with everything in me to be like my Mother! As a matter of fact I am nothing like my family. Yes genetics has played a small role in my health, at age 28 they implanted a dual chamber pacemaker in me. If I could turn back time, with the knowledge I have now, they would not have done that surgery to me. I have recently discovered, through reading, the power of the mind. And most importantly Holistic Health Care. Through nutrition, the right supplements and a positive attitude I can and will live a long and vibrant life full of joy.nI am so thankful I found this site where I can have these inspirations sent to me daily. Thankyou so much InnerSelf, keep up the good work!!!!!!!!!! smilies/smiley.gif
May 02, 2007

Karen said: _

  I love this article all my life i have been told oh you have poor health just like so and so in the family had this and someone else had that as a child i believed it. Well you tend to but here i am in my forties and my family are still telling me... i've wanted to say to them get real I am me yes i may be similar to the person they mention but i am me so get over it. I can choose to make my own choices about nutrition and health and do not have to believe that what you say will make any difference whether good or bad to an outcome of a health challenge, and looking back they have been wrong time and again from advice given, yes sometimes the advice our parents relatives make is good and sound but we don't have to believe in the oldwives tales either..
May 08, 2007

Jami B said: _

  My niece is 18 next month (thank your for your condolences) and she is sooooo like her mother, it makes me and my mom crazy! She doesn't want to hear that she's 'just like her mother', just like her mother doesn't want to hear it! Me? I'm OK being like my mother-She's witty, intelligent and has good skin. She tends to get angry quick, but apologize even quicker. I am like my mother in that respect and Im like my father in physical looks, tall, thin, premature gray. My sister and neice are like my mother in the physical sence-short, big hips and rear, small waist (that emphisizes that big rear) very overweight... I can understand why you wouldn't want to be like someone who is overweight, its unhealthy, unattractive but as this article says, you dont have to BE like that. MInd over matter and hard work can help you be like anyone you want to be!
December 12, 2007

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