Questions & Answers

with
Stuart Wilde

Choosing Between Love & Spirituality?

Q: Both my relationship and my spiritual path are sacred to me, but it seems I must choose one over the other. Which is more important, a loving relationship with a partner who does not share my interest in spirituality, or a wonderful spiritual life without the partner of my dreams?

A: I think it's a terrible thing if you have to choose between your spirituality and your relationship. I certainly couldn't be in a relationship if my partner was antagonistic to my spiritual life and way of thinking. I think I could be in a relationship if they were neutral, though.

In modern relationships you often find that both parties might start out in a very Neanderthal tick-tock consciousness, then one party begins to work on themselves and really moves forward metaphysically and spiritually. This leaves the other Neanderthal member behind.

Sometimes that will work fine, because a compromise takes place, and metaphysics and spirituality are simply not discussed. Then sometimes you can evolve yourself out of a relationship because you're moving quickly and your partner isn't.

If you've grown way beyond your partner, you might have to leave. I can't imagine a relationship that was so magnificent I'd want to give up my metaphysics or spirituality or my path toward God. Somebody else might think differently, but that's my view.

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Q: I have a burning desire to explore tantric sex, but my partner is not interested. What do you suggest?

A: This is a tough one. I think tantric sex manuals and books are laced with a lot of "ooh" and "aah" that doesn't amount to much. A lot of it is the raising of the kundalini from the root to the crown chakra, and I think you can do that quietly on your own. The heat of the sexual act creates energy, which you can mentally pull up the spine to the crown chakra. Visualizing it rising unblocks the etheric channel, and the power flows up the spine to the top of the head. You can create the effect of tantric sex without the other partner really knowing what's going on.

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Q: How do you know when to persevere with a relationship and when to let go?

A: If you feel restricted or if you feel a tremendous amount of emotional pain, then you really need to see whether those knots and that restriction can be unraveled. If they can't, obviously it is the fault of the relationship and your reaction to the relationship, and you should probably let go. 

What is the level of restriction you feel? What is the level of emotional pain you feel? Are you getting out of this relationship as much as you're putting in? If there is an overdraft, an imbalance in the emotional-energy bank account, then you need to reassess the relationship.

It seems weird that people nowadays are so scared of being on their own. Being on your own somehow seems like a failure. When you think about it, being on your own actually exhibits maturity. 

Most people who think they need someone in order to feel safe and secure probably don't need anybody at all. In fact, they probably ought to live on their own for a bit and become self-sufficient.

If you enjoyed this article, purchase the book here. 
"Simply Wilde" by Stuart Wilde and Leon Nacson.