Comments for Fathers Must Face Their Fears at http://innerself.com/html , comment 0 to 1 out of 1 comments http://innerself.com/html Sat, 21 Nov 2009 21:51:49 +0100 FeedCreator 1.7.2 http://innerself.com/html/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=5882&Itemid=126#pc_425 Hello, My name is Paulina Salmon. I am a single mother. My baby's father (Peter) decided to leave me after we learned we were pregnant. At the beginning the situation wasn't as bad, but he wouldn't tell his family about Valentina (5mo old today) arguing he's the roll model at home and that it would create a big problem at home as well as putting her sister as risk (16 yr old). When he finally decided to tell his dad everything got worse. His dad is a successful oll business man who lives in Jakarta and travels to Houston very often (where he had a house after divorcing his mom when he was 9yr old).* Peter started to not talk to me and when he did he started lying and dragging any conversation and/or contact with me. He left the US and went to Australia for the great majority of my pregnancy, payed by his dad, and not even when he came back he decided to go to the hospital for the delivery. Currently we are undergoing a child support case and he requested a DNA test, not because he doubted he was the father, but because his dad (in a reunion we had all together) asked him to do it so that he could pay "the bulk sum of money he was going to pay", otherwise he wouldn't see a single penny and get disowned. Peter graduated last May. I went thinking he would like to see Valentina. I realized he had a new gf whom he took to his graduation dinner and also took her on vacation a week after that (they are still in Florida). He keeps lying and now answering emails on time. Hasn't looked for a proper health insurance for V or ever asked how was her week or her developments. I am positive his dad is controlling him but I don't know until which point. I don't think he's thinking by himself and he keeps on bringing his dad for everything and hoping that everything would be better or that I'll forget about everything if he keeps being distant, rude, uncaring... I wanted to ask you if you think there is a way for me to get to him and try to chance his mind/heart. I am scared of him coming back later and ruining V's emotional balance by just showing up one day and wanting to take over. I've tried everything in my power to make him double think about it, try not to repeat the pattern he got at home, etc but not even meeting her has made and impact. His family has insulted me, tried to write me off, humiliated me, etc. The only thing I can think is that he hasn't have the guts to stand up for neither me or V and present me as the person I really am before his family. I know I also need help since I'm really depressed and have become much more of a sober person. I don't smile as much, I can't focus on getting things done, but when it comes to learning more and more about child support due process. I don't have a job and I'm alone here regardless of my friends. I don't know if by pushing Peter to see V I'm pushing him away or it would really have a positive outcome over time. Please help me out with some thoughts that might help me thinking straight about this whole situation. Thanks in advance for your time and any advice you can give me, Paulina, TX. *I still remember when Peter's dad called him a couple of times and asked him about our relationship...he always told him not to get too too in love with me because "women are never a good company if you want to be successful" Peter always talked high of his dad and admired practically everything on him, but at the same time he knew he was a "bad" person for leaving them at such early age. - Paulina Salmon Sun, 22 Jun 2008 06:14:52 +0100