Becoming Fulfilled
by Deborah L. Price
The
patterns influencing our relationship with money begin when are are children,
which is also when we receive our first glimpse of fulfillment reflected in the
mirror of the material world. As children we often make unconscious agreements
about money that affect the choices we make about our personal path as adults.
By the time most children are in elementary school, they have already begun to
identify money as an important source for getting their needs met. Adults
perpetuate this belief by providing children with an endless supply of material
proof of their love and affection. And with each passing birthday and holiday,
the bar gets raised a little higher, until it becomes increasingly difficult to
meet the expectations we have created in our children. Consequently, they grow
up believing that fulfillment is an external, material reality that can be
bought with money.
We have so confused money with fulfillment that the very meaning of the word
has been lost. Fulfillment can only be truly experienced internally. It is not
something you can acquire or buy. It is not a place you can fill full enough
with stuff to take you there. Fulfillment is about completion and
self-realization. It is more a process than a destination. It is not something
anyone can give you; it is something you become.
LOSING OUR WAY
One of the ways we can experience true fulfillment comes from the deep
knowing in your soul that you are on your path and understand your life's
purpose. Unfortunately, we are often so disconnected from our own souls that we
have difficulty finding our path and often stop searching for it. We may even
stop believing that we have a soul at all. Too few of us were nurtured to become
what would fulfill us personally or spiritually. This is an unfortunate reality,
because we all need guidance and encouragement in developing our awareness and
acceptance of who we are and the gifts we possess. To know your uniqueness is
powerful indeed. To not know it leaves a hollow space that too many of us simply
attempt to fill in other ways.
As children we did not experience ourselves as separate from others; we felt
connected to everything around us. For this brief time, we all knew true
freedom. This freedom did not require money. As we grew up, we became
self-conscious as we were increasingly defined by the people around us, namely,
our parents, family, and friends. We were told who we were or were not in
relationship to others and our experience of them. We became known as "good,"
"bad," "sweet," "smart," or whatever adjectives the people we looked up to,
literally, used to describe us.
We have become unconscious of the powerful
effect that words and language have on our psyches and self-esteem. This lack of
consciousness is particularly harmful to children, who display the psychic
wounds inflicted by language so early in life. It is no small wonder that our
souls retreat so easily into the background of our lives. As our center of
truth, the soul is vulnerable to the untruths we are told and submerges into a
deeper, more protective space. This experience marks the beginning of our
disconnectedness and explains why so many of us have difficulty finding our way.
By the time we reach adulthood, many of us have lost access to the truth that
lies inside the retreated soul and have become simply what we were expected to
be. We take jobs, create careers, marry, have children, and so on largely based
on unconscious agreements with people in our daily lives and those who have
influenced us. As it turns out, living this way works for some people. But many
others yearn for something more.
FINDING OUR PATH
Somewhere along the way, the sleeping soul grows restless and longs to
finally express the truth of who we really are. It becomes the still, small
voice within that says, "Wait a minute, this isn't the life I wanted. This isn't
who I really am! How did I get here? How do I get out?" And suddenly we begin to
question our life's choices and look around at the world we've created and to
feel trapped. At a certain point, we often realize that we bought a ticket to a
life that we no longer wish to live but that there is no refund.
As a Warrior type I have fought being defined by anyone and have always felt
compelled to help others find their paths. From an early age I knew that I had a
purpose and destiny. I did not, however, have a clue what it was.
I was born
with an intuitive gift of seeing the truth in others. In my work, this gift has
frequently allowed me to "see" if someone is on his or her true path. Sometimes
I can see the obstacle blocking the person from their path. I rarely reveal this
information directly to people but work instead to facilitate their own
discovery of it by opening the door.
We are blessed when we are truly seen and appreciated for who we are. We all
need people to hold the space for our greater truth to be known until we can see
it for ourselves. Finding our way back to our path and purpose can be a lifelong
journey. Some people are lucky and discover it early in life. However, most of
us struggle with this journey and often fall down or get lost along the way. And
that's okay. There is no such thing as a mistake when you are truly working
toward finding your path. What matters is that you keep making the effort. Our
task is to simply keep moving toward the light until we can see.
In the
thirteenth century, the great Sufi poet and philosopher Rumi wrote:
There is one thing in this world that you must never forget to do. If you
forget everything else and not this, there's nothing to worry about; but if
you remember everything else and forget this, then you will have done
nothing in your life. It is as if a king has sent you to some country do a
task, and you perform a hundred other services, but not the one he sent you
to do. So human beings come to this world to do particular work. The work is
the purpose, and each is specific to the person. [The
Illuminated Rumi, by Jalal Al-din Rumi]
Although the truth is eternal, it not easy to find if we are busy looking for
something else. If you're trying to find your path, it will be easier to
discover if you stop expecting it to be clothed in money. I often ask the people
I work with what took them off their path. They usually answer with conviction
that "there's no money in it" or that they "cannot afford to make the change." I
can only tell you what I know to be true: You cannot afford not to make the
change. The price for not changing is far higher than you'll ever know. We can
only turn away the gift of our divinity so many times before it is no longer
offered.
People come to me wanting to make changes in their lives. They feel they are
off course and want to seek a new direction but are uncertain about how to go
about it. They frequently feel trapped by their choices. More often than not
they feel their only ticket to freedom is money. If only they had enough money,
they could make that change. Most people believe that money will cure their
problems, will buy them out of the life they're living and into the life they
desire. Money is the magic wand, the solution to all our problems. Many of us
believe it is the answer to the prayers we often forget to pray.
During the course of our lives, as we have become increasingly disconnected
from Spirit, we have lost access to our power. We have become blind to the light
within us. The more we have placed our trust and faith in the outside world, the
darker and more unfamiliar our inner world has grown. Without the unrelenting
voice of the soul, which constantly seeks our attention and never stops trying
to redirect us back to our path, we would never find our way.
We all possess an
inner compass: We just have forgotten how to use it. The soul doesn't say,
"Follow me, I'll show you the way to the money." It just says, "Follow me, I'll
show you the way." Forget about money! It will show up when it is time. Our task
is to simply heed the signs and follow the directions provided by the Spirit
within.
PROSPERITY & ABUNDANCE
When we are on the right path, all our needs are met in abundance. Before I
go any further, I should say that the words abundance and prosperity are not the
same and need to be clarified. Abundance is our most natural state. To have
abundance means having plenty or more than enough. Yet the concept of "enough"
is what creates a dilemma for most of us.
Abundance is very subjective, since
what one person considers plenty is a mere pittance to another. Prosperity, on
the other hand, is a little easier to define. To be prosperous means to be
"successful or fortunate." We have come to believe that being truly prosperous
requires "having a fortune." As a result many people live in a state of
abundance without knowing it, because they were seeking the "fortune" of
prosperity.
In my experience, prosperity does not come easily to those who wait
for it or seek it out specifically. Prosperity is what happens to people while
they're busy doing other things. If our actions are connected to our path, then
we are truly fortunate, for we will know the joy of prosperity that comes from
fulfillment. The following questions will help you examine and distinguish
between prosperity and abundance as they relate to fulfillment in your life.
Do you feel abundance in your life?
If not, what do you feel is missing?
Do you feel you are prosperous?
What does prosperity look like to you?
What makes you feel fulfilled?
What remains unfulfilled within you?
What are you willing to do to change that today?
RECHOOSING YOUR PATH
Fear of moving from the known -- even if we don't like it -- into the
unknown, prevents most of us from realizing the magic and wonder of being on our
true path. Every day I encounter people who allow fear to keep them from moving
forward into the uncertainty of the path that lies before them.
It helps to keep
in mind that we are all already on a path. Not one of us is an accident. Even if
we were not all "planned" by our parents, that does not make any one of us
anything less than a miracle. We were not just created because God needed extra
people to take up space. God doesn't make mistakes. Everyone and everything has
a purpose.
We each have a gift to give -- a unique part of us that no one else can give.
When we have discovered, or, more accurately, uncovered this part of ourselves,
we truly begin to shine. I believe that we often get lost while searching for
who we really are and our true path because of the misguided belief that they
must have something to do with our occupation or vocation. What you do is not
necessarily who you are.
What you do to earn money is not always a reflection of
who you are. Those who find a connection between their path and their livelihood
are greatly blessed. I wholeheartedly believe that this is a state of grace
available to us all. It does not, however, always come easily or in the package
you might have anticipated. It often comes with great sacrifice. And sometimes
we wait too long to take the journey, only to find that the journey is over.
ANOTHER WAKE-UP CALL
Two years ago, my life's path changed dramatically. Sometimes I think that
just when you're settling into your life, you get a wake-up call and realize you
were not really settled in at all. One morning, I received a phone call
informing me that my close friend and kindred spirit, Barbara, had died.
Although she had been ill, I was not prepared for her death. I didn't even get
to say good-bye to her. Barbara had been the best friend you could ever hope
for. Her life touched me deeply, and her death changed my life immeasurably.
For months before Barbara's death, my own health had not been very good. The
long-term effects of stress and fatigue had worn me down. I knew I was fighting
a battle I could not win. Just two years earlier, I had told Barbara that her
business was killing her and that she needed to change her life. She was
beginning to fade, and I saw it. She cried when I told her this and said that
she felt trapped and afraid. She was paralyzed by financial fear and did not
know how she would survive if she gave up her business.
I advised her to have
faith and trust that everything would work out. All the signs indicated that she
was meant to move on. I told her, "God will support your decision to make this
change. But you must find the courage and faith within to take the first step
and let go. Holding on no longer serves you." Together we worked on finding a
way to change her life's direction. Eventually she agreed to put her business
and her home up for sale. Although she was afraid and did not know what her
future held, she knew she could not continue her life as it was.
Unfortunately, almost two years had passed before Barbara was able to free
herself of her financial burdens. Shortly thereafter, she was diagnosed with
leukemia. Now, two years later, I was beginning to see the same signs in my own
reflection in the mirror. I had known for a long time that I needed to make a
change. I knew I needed to write. I also knew that we only get so many chances
to follow our path and do the work we were brought here to do. I could feel
Barbara's spirit: She was my messenger. I knew that I needed to let go of the
life I was leading and my business to change my life's course. I had put off
living the life I really wanted for too long.
One morning I woke up and said, "I'm selling my business and I'm going to
write my book. I've been doing my work and helping other people to live their
dreams, and now it is time that I do the same for myself." In other words, it
was time to walk my talk. It wasn't that I didn't like what I was doing. To the
contrary, I enjoyed being a financial consultant, and I was good at it. However,
I knew there was a deeper purpose to my work that I had been putting off
discovering. I was waiting until I had more money and more time, until my
daughter was older... all excuses that stemmed from a lack of faith.
Intuitively, I knew that I was meant to take this leap of faith. I could no
longer delay making this choice.
Exactly one month later, I sold my business and began writing this book. I
surrendered to my faith completely, and my faith was rewarded. In the months
that followed, all the doors opened, and my life became flooded with miracles.
My every prayer was answered. I asked for help and received it beyond my
greatest hope. Friends and strangers offered their guidance and support. Before
I knew it, I had an agent. All the money I needed to facilitate my decision came
to me more easily than ever. In less than one year, I signed my first book
contract. Shortly thereafter the publisher I had envisioned publishing this book
bought it.
There are no accidents or coincidences. When you are on your true
path, the universe conspires and collaborates with you in the most magical way.
People have told me many times how my story is the exception and not the rule. I
choose to see it differently. I think that miracles are happening all the time,
all around us. They are simply waiting for us to become available to them. All
we need to do is step into them with faith and surrender.
When you can freely express the gift of who you are, you are in direct
connection with Spirit. For here you have access to your higher self, the part
of you that holds the key to manifesting your highest dreams. In this place, the
possibilities are truly infinite.
EXERCISE
To determine where you are in relationship to your true path, answer the
following questions:
1. Do you feel you are on the right path?
2. If not, do you think you know what that path is?
3. What gifts or special talents do you have?
4. What brings you joy?
5. What aspect of you brings the most joy to others?
6. Is there something you have always wanted to do that you have yet to
choose for yourself?
7. What would that be?
8. Why aren't you doing it?
When you have finished answering these questions, take time to check in with
yourself, internally, and experience any emotions you might be feeling. What did
the previous exercise bring up for you? What feelings of pain, loss, or grief
did you experience? It is important to acknowledge and work through these
feelings. Write them down in your journal while they are still fresh in your
emotional body. This process will help you release and heal any residual pain
and clear the way for the creative flow to come into your life.
This
article is excerpted from:
Money Therapy by Deborah L. Price.
Reprinted with permission of the publisher, New World Library. ©2000.
www.newworldlibrary.com.
 RECOMMENDED
BOOK:
Money Magic: Unleashing Your True Potential for Prosperity and Fulfillment
(2003)
by Deborah L. Price.
Info/Order this book.
All Books by this author.
About the Author
Deborah
Price has been in the financial services industry for fifteen years. She
conducts Money Therapy seminars for both individuals and corporations. She is
also the author of
Start Investing Online Today.
Deborah lives on a vineyard in Healdsburg, California, with her daughter. For
information regarding Money Coaching or Money Therapy seminars, contact Deborah
Price at (800) 639-0977 or visit her website at www.money-therapy.com.
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