Healing
Quadriplegia
A Miraculous True Story
by Laurel Duran, CMT
One rainy August afternoon in 1986 as I drove down the
highway alone in my car, my burdened mind
turned toward the shambles of my life. My upcoming
divorce, the financial failure of the health club I
owned,
and my recent acceptance of the fact that I had an
alcohol problem, stood accusingly before me as ample
proof of
my complete failure as a human being. I was
attending 12-step meetings and that helped get me
through each
day, but deep down I believed that the failure of my
life was all my fault, and there was no solution in
sight.
Then, in an instant, everything changed.
My car was hit from behind while simultaneously my
spirit exited the driver's side-window and traveled
up a cord of light into the loving presence of God. From above I
calmly realized that the neck of the
body that
was mine had snapped broken and the car carrying my body
was still moving forward. I thought ?There will
need to be another impact to stop the car,? and so
there was. By the time the crashing stopped, six
vehicles had
piled on top of the smashed can that used to be my car.
To top everything off, this neck-breaking crash
occurred on a road called Breakneck Hill Road!
What happened to the real me -- my spirit -- while I
visited heaven was to become the most valuable
event of my life. I had a personal experience of
God?s absolutely unconditional love. I
understood that I had
never done anything to merit being deprived of this
love, and that the only tiny, temporary mistake I
had ever
made while on earth was to have spent even a moment
believing I didn?t deserve love. I
realized that love is the
only real thing that exists in the world. And
without a moment of doubt, all the self-imposed barriers in front of
my own heart evaporated into nothing. In the
loving presence of my Creator, it was so easy to
surrender all my
earthly burdens. It was the most natural thing to do. My earthly burdens had been a result of
temporarily
forgetting the unconditional nature of God?s
love, but in a flash it all came back to me. I
became peacefully
aware that everything that had happened in my life, all
events, situations, and relationships, had been part of
God?s
plan to bring me to love. Even though I had forgotten
that goal while I was on earth, I was
remembering it
again in heaven, and that changed everything. I
understood that my soon-to-be-ex-husband really had
loved me
even though we were getting a divorce. The divorce
didn?t matter, but the love did.
Then I was given a special kind of awareness about the
nature of healing on earth. I was given to
understand that every human health problem, all
diseases, deformities, and disabilities are absolutely
within
God?s power to heal. Even though I don?t know
how it works, I do know that it?s the truth. And
as God and I
looked down upon my broken body in the mangled car
wreck, I asked a question whose answer I
already
knew: ?Can You heal even that?? The answer was wordlessly conveyed to me with such lighthearted
tenderness: ?Of course I can!?
To better help
me realize this truth, I was given this earthly analogy:
it is easier
for God to heal quadriplegia than it is for a person to
scatter the dust of a puff-ball mushroom with a single
gentle breath. I knew this was true because
I was given a finished product experience of what it
felt like to be
completely healed and whole again. The self who
experienced what this healing felt like was not my body,
but
the real me, my spirit. This brought such joy and
peace and fulfillment to me, while it brought full
mental
acceptance of the truth to my mind. All I would
need to do if I decided to return to earth would be to
apply this
finished product experience to my physical body. In heaven this seemed very easy to accomplish.
Because I had been a Certified Massage Therapist for
seven years when my near-death experience
occurred, I had already accepted the fact that real
healing takes place regardless of the imaginary limits
of
physically-focused medicine. But this heavenly
personal experience of full healing power reached
far beyond the
wholistic healing ideas I had already grasped. It
brought me into the natural realm of miracles. As
a result, I
would never again be able to see spinal cord injury
paralysis as a permanent condition in anyone, including
myself.
As I reviewed my life on earth from above, I knew that I
was not yet finished and that I still had so much
to accomplish as Laurel Duran. So I began to waver
toward returning to my physical life. I realized
that
physical death is not an actual ending for the real
self, but more like a temporary bookmark that holds your
spirit?s place in earth?s classroom until you?re
ready to finish the school work. I knew that I
would eventually
have to face the exact same issues and concerns that had
troubled me so deeply in life. It was easy
to accept all
of this because I knew that no matter what happened, I
could always rely on God?s unconditional love to see
me
through, to power my ability and willingness to face
anything on earth.
Again I asked a question of God even though I already
knew the answer: ?Will You stay with me if I go
back?? Once again the wordless reply came with
such tender compassion: ?My beloved child Laurel, I
will
always be with you, to love you, and to give you My
strength whenever you ask for it. From now on,
just ask Me
and I will help you. Then let go and trust. I will
do the rest.?
I was so heartened that I responded ?I know I can do
it, God! Now I know that I can face anything with
your Love holding me. I have to go back! I?m ready...but please stay with me,
God. Stay with me!? And in
an instant I was back inside my completely paralyzed
body.
As the jaws of life sounds of metal cutting metal
reached my ears I realized that I was surrounded by
people who were trying to reach and help me. I was
terrified! What a horror it was to be completely
unable to
command my body to get out of the car. When I was
finally out of the wreckage an EMT stood over me and
said ?We?re going to get you to a hospital!?, I
had just enough breath to answer ?Thank you for
saving my
life.? As he placed an oxygen mask over my nose
and mouth, I looked into his eyes. I saw the
presence of
God?s love in the compassionate eyes of this man that
I had never met. Just by looking into his eyes I
was
instantly reminded of God?s promise to help me.
Heavenly love on earth had already begun to happen!
In between moments of believing that my body?s terrible
condition was real, I closed my eyes and re-experienced the real love of
heaven. I went back
and forth inside myself, realizing what had happened to
my
body, then just as quickly, I surrendered to the comfort
of God?s love that had been firmly planted inside my
heart. Over and over, as each second that passed
seemed to go on forever, I chose to trust heaven?s
love instead
of earth?s pain. And it was heaven?s love that
carried me to the hospital.
Over the next 2 months I remained hospitalized, first in
critical condition in intensive care, then in a
regular hospital ward, until I finally arrived at a
rehabilitation hospital. From the moment I came
back into my
body, I began talking to God (praying) and listening to
God (meditating).This became my full-time
occupation.
Before the crash, I had been thoroughly focused on the
world outside me, and because of guilt feelings I had
been terrified of being still and looking within. I believe that God lovingly swept clean the table of my
life?s
activities so that I would be absolutely still, unable
to do anything but receive the love I needed to heal.
Once I
began to converse with God, I discovered that our
relationship was just wonderful! My friends and
family
fervently prayed for me too.
Because the hospitals did not provide the Massage
Therapy I so desperately needed, a dear friend came
to massage me daily after she finished her own full day
at work. Together we verbally affirmed the
healing
changes that were taking place in the cells of my spinal
cord, and we visualized healing success as she
compassionately massaged me. ( I later learned that she
had drawn a completely healed picture of my spinal cord
on a whiteboard in her office. Every day she would
look at this healed picture and reaffirm that the
healing was
true.)
While in the hospital there were many days that
contained frustration, sorrow, and eventually, intense
physical pain, all of which would bring me to tears. I refused to suppress my tears, and along with that, I
also
refused to ingest any of the emotional or physical
pain-suppressing drugs that were routinely prescribed to
spinal
cord injury patients. Instead, I allowed myself to
cry so that I would release the honest feelings out of
my
system, thereby clearing the inner pathways to full
healing. I would imagine that every tear fell upon
a silver
platter that I would send up to God. I truly
believed that God was patiently waiting for me to send
up these
sorrowful troubles. In return I imagined that God
responded with ?That?s good, Laurel. Here?s
our trade: you
send me your tears, and I?ll send you miracles.?
I also refused to absorb any of the medical staff?s limiting beliefs about the permanence of
paralysis from spinal cord injuries. My feisty,
strong-willed spirit frequently encountered disdain or
outright
hostility from some medical staff who perceived my
individual strength to be a threat to their
institutional order.
But because I received my information and support from
the ultimate Source of the universe, I held fast to my
private self-healing plan. These challenges to my
will merely strengthened it. I must confess that
they spiced up
my often dreary hospital days! Everything that
happened to me was a perfect part of the plan.
After 2 months in hospitals, I was able to return home
on my body?s own power. In 3 months, my
neurosurgeon expressed concern that it was too dangerous
for me to dance while wearing the ?halo? that held
my neck rigidly in place. I certainly wasn?t
about to give up dancing, so he removed the halo!
Just 4 months after the crash, I began taking
Massage patients again, but my therapeutic approach had
completely changed. Even though I had not yet regained
all my finer muscular function, patients still flocked
to
my door. I found myself extending faith to folks
whose greatest needs seemed to be for spiritual
encouragement.
I believe that my unconditional faith in God?s healing
power became my greatest Massage Therapy tool.
Within 6 months I was driving a car, and at 8 months I
began running every day. Throughout my initial
self-healing process and until today, more than 13 years
after breaking my neck, I still begin and end each day
of
my life with a private conversation with God. The gratitude I still feel today has not diminished, and
I am even
more grateful to be honored with every opportunity to
extend inspiration, courage, and healing to each hopeful
person I encounter.
Today my life is about sharing
the hope and spiritual inspiration that my healing story
conveys, and I utilize my terrific physical vitality to
serve as a living example of God?s unlimited
benevolent power. I have shared my miraculous healing story
with thousands of people, and the most frequently asked
question has been ?How did you do it?? Very
simply I answer ?I used all the love that came to me
and fed it to
myself and to my cells. Equally important,
anything unloving that came to me, I would not
feed to myself or to
my cells.?
I believe it is essential that each
individual patient discern for herself who and what has
loving value
to her. Each of us has the ability to sense loving
value in each situation, for that is the mark of God?s
hand on earth. Regardless of a patient?s physical
condition, within each of us is a seed of unlimited
self-healing potential.
No matter what our personal healing struggles may be,
the truth is that God holds us in the hands of
compassion -- always!
To read more of this author's experience:
"The Blue Cord" by
Laurel Duran, CMT
Info/Order this book
About The
Author
Laurel Duran,
CMT, is the author of ?The
Blue Cord?,
the miraculous story of how she healed from
quadriplegia; ?I Remember Heaven: Learning to Heal Myself?, an
inspirational audio tape; and ?WISHNotes:
The Workbook of Self-Healing?. A certified Massage
Therapist since 1979, Ms. Duranteaches the WISHNet
Workshop for Self-Healing, and WISHNet for Women. Call
1-800-OAK-SOUL or email
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
to
order books, tapes, and to inquire about Ms. Duran?s audience-interactive
inspirational
presentations. Visit her website at:
http://www2.amigo.net/bluecord
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