Guilt, Shame, &
Failure
by Stuart Wilde
   Q:
In step seven of your book and tape series
Infinite Self: 33 Steps to Reclaiming Your Inner Power, you
talk about guilt as a great human weakness. I was brought up in a family where I
was made to feel guilty for everything, and find it difficult to transcend this
deep-seated emotion. How would you suggest I banish guilt from my life -- not
just on an intellectual level, but on a deep emotional level?
A: I think guilt and shame are two of the hardest
emotions to go beyond because they usually come from the family of origin, and
therefore from one's upbringing. Even though they are emotions that come from an
opinion, the opinions are entrenched very deeply.
If someone was shamed as a child,
you can't just say to the person, "Let go of the shame", because the shame is a
profound part of who they are. So with shame and guilt, I think you need the
assistance of a qualified counselor who can talk you through your inner-child
experience. You can then begin to see how you took on those experiences in
childhood, and that it was part of your evolution and how you dealt with growing
up.
I believe the higher self has a
vision of what it's going to be up to each lifetime. You accepted your family
and their weaknesses. When they put guilt and shame upon you, they were usually
expressing their own insecurity. Even though they may have been bastards, they
were bastards because they were taught weakness by somebody else. It's quite a
heroic thing for you to break the chain so that this isn't handed down to your
children.
*****
Q:
I try so hard to be a success in
life, but I seem to attract more failure than success. When I am successful, I
can't accept it; and when I fail, I beat myself up about it.
A: 0ne of my favorite quotes was written by me: "Life:
never take it personally." If you can get to a point where you don't take it
personally, you are recognizing that you are a spirit, a golden light inside a
funny little physical body. And inside the physical body is a funny little
personality that really hasn't got a clue, and a funny little ego that needs
nurturing.
That's what we are, just funny
little people playing a game inside this thing called life. So, when you look at
the contrast of the ego and the spirit, you can see that it is only a matter of
controlling your personality, and the first point of your control is deciding
that you are not going to be the personality.
In other words, are you that
person? Are you your emotions? Are you your anguish? Are you your pain? Are you
your success, your failure?
You're not. And if you think you
are, I feel sorry for you.
You have a long, hard, painful
journey ahead. You are a divine spirit, don't forget that.
 This article was excerpted from the book:
Simply
Wilde
by Stuart Wilde and Leon Nacson.
Reprinted with permission of the publisher, Hay House Inc. www.hayhouse.com
For More Info or to Order This book.
About the Author
 Author and lecturer Stuart Wilde is one of the real
characters of the self-help, human potential movement. His style is humorous,
controversial, poignant, and transformational. He has written numerous books,
including those that make up the very successful Taos Quintet, which are
considered classics in their genre. They are: Affirmations, The Force,
Miracles, The Quickening, and The Trick to Money Is Having Some.
Stuart's books have been translated into 12 languages.
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