Courage
by Tracie Ann Robinson
When I hear
the word courage I quickly see someone battling a deadly
disease, overcoming great odds, or as the hero in a
life-saving event. But there are so many ways that we can
apply courage in our own lives. Courage to speak one's
opinion, to stand up for what is right, to face tough issues
head on, to pick oneself up after an injustice, and to not
necessarily do as everyone else does. Courage to be true to
oneself.
I've never
really thought of myself as a courageous person. But looking
back on my life I must be. It's taken courage to overcome a
father that committed suicide when I was a child and the
gossip that followed. To survive a mother that was afflicted
with depression and loneliness, and growing up the oldest of
three where I was often placed in the position of raising my
siblings when I too was just a child.
And as an
adult I've faced the failure of my marriage. My divorce -- that truly took courage. It took courage to stand up for my
beliefs, to what I knew was wrong and now the obvious fact --
I deserved better. Not because I'm some "catch"
but because I'm a good person which can be taken advantage
by the wrong person.
It took
courage to help me see my way clear to what was really wrong
in my life and recognize that it was never going to be right
unless I made some changes. So courage gave me the strength to
admit what I had to do and helped me follow through on what in
my heart and mind I knew was right.
We think
having courage means sticking with someone or seeing something
to the end. Well, I think true courage, and often the most
difficult kind of courage, is knowing when to give up. To
recognize that while our efforts are noble the inevitable will
prevail -- it's not meant to be. We can take our wants and
truly mold or manipulate our situations but that doesn't
make it foolproof.
Did you know
that it takes as much energy to stay stagnant as it does to
take a step forward? As people with busy lives we sometimes
literally live 24 hours a day just to see our way clear to the
next twenty-four. Or perhaps it's that we are so caught up
in our miserable sad state to see what often ends up quite
obvious, after the fact. Depression can be very limiting. It's
amazing how healing it is when we recognize we should stop
trying to make something work when it's not meant to.
It's tough
having courage sometimes. I'm someone who now knows what I
want and don't want out of life. Yet people who aren't as
clear surround me. I consider myself lucky -- lucky in many
ways. But mainly that I'm facing a new beginning. It's
exciting and scary at the same time. Being on my own and
having only myself to answer to is a good feeling; it's
liberating. I can realize the good things in my life and be
proud of my accomplishments and recognize my contributions. I
also comprehend just how little my life is in the grand
scheme; yet I'm a part of a much bigger picture than I ever
acknowledged. It can be scary because it's all so new,
sometimes overwhelming and lonely at times. This is where
courage, my courage, needs to take a more predominant role in
my life.
Have you ever
picked up a book and read the last chapter to see how it ends
before reading the book in its entirety? I haven't, but my
life is one I'd sure love to get a hold of the last chapter.
I'd hope that it read something like this: And she
lived happily ever after.
If I was as
courageous as I'd like to be, I'd accept that I can write
my last chapter, we all can, for we hold the key.
 Recommended
book:
Feel
the Fear and Do It Anyway
by Susan
Jeffers.
Info/Order book
About The
Author
Tracie Ann Robinson is a
woman on a mission of self discovery. She was recently divorced having
been married her whole adult life (at the time this article was written she was 31). She is a professional
woman and writes part-time with the goal of sharing her relationship
experience and insights. She has written several
other articles
for InnerSelf Magazine.
She can be reached at:
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