Options for Wisdom
by Jamie S. Walters
 There
are many books, organizations and web-site resources with information about the
wide variety of wisdom and mastery practices available to you. What follows are
some brief observations on the activities from my own repertoire, from which I
draw for my personal faith and mindset practice. I don't do all of these things
every day but, across the span of any given month, I endeavor to do some
combination of these activities or disciplines regularly.
The result? For me, greater clarity, less time feeling scattered, more
awareness of how my mind plays tricks on me, a feeling of connection to others,
and a decreased likelihood that I jump to conclusions or fall prey to someone
who's trying (purposely or not) to push my hot buttons. In general, when I'm
minding my faith practice, I feel more connected to a Source that is much wiser
and stronger than I am alone, which gives me a great sense of well-being and
helps me make better decisions, regardless of the day's chaos. When I'm not
finding time for my practice, the results are quite the opposite. Here are a few
options for your practice toolbox:
Allowing versus forcing.
If you're a control freak, I feel your pain, and know first-hand that this
practice offers both significant challenge and significant reward. Assuming you
own a business or feel competent enough to give business ownership a go, I would
guess that you're fairly (if not especially) skilled in finding your way from
blank canvas to finished painting, and have a specific vision of how, exactly,
that might happen. That means you like to have a certain amount of control over
the circumstances, and perhaps people and resources, to get things done.
Yet there are times (as in almost always) when trying to control every factor
relevant to a particular goal or need is like trying to sweep water up a hill.
And what happens then? Instead of adopting a realistic perspective -- that
sweeping water uphill is a losing proposition -- you try and try until you
become completely stressed over your inability to control the circumstances you
deem crucial to your vision and well-being. What is the reality? That very
little is actually in your control.
As the ancient Stoic philosophers knew, wise men and women that they were,
the only thing you can truly control is your own thinking and behavior.
Everything else, from the weather to the stock market to someone else's
behavior, including their love for or rejection of you, is well beyond your
control. And coming to that understanding can be intensely liberating, if not
easy.
In deciding to mind your own thoughts and behavior -- or "show up to the
party," as a friend of mine puts it -- you can then practice your ability
to allow factors outside of your control to find their own order within the
seeming chaos, or to rightfully fall to the wayside as truly unimportant to your
wellbeing. Sounds tough, doesn't it? It can be, primarily because it's
impossible for many of us to believe that such an order will arrive unforced. We
lack faith, whether in our own ability or the presence of our Guiding Force.
One way to overcome this doubt is to see the concept of "allowing"
not as a matter of being passive, because that would be a misperception, but
more as a matter of doing what's within your control and then trusting your
ability to adapt or respond to other circumstances that come your way. You can,
in the words of the Tao Te Ching, be like the valley through which the rivers
flow.
Communication Skillfulness
Interpersonal and organizational communication is an area of professional
focus for me, and yet communication can also be a sacred practice in and of
itself. Most wisdom traditions focus not on our separation from others, but on
our connection to others. What's more, faith teachings emphasize the quality of
our interactions and interconnections, whether called right relationship or
"doing unto others" as we would have them do unto us. Communication
skillfulness -- your ability to listen deeply or speak clearly and
compassionately -- requires that you align your heart and mind with the more
technical skills of interpersonal communication. That means you watch your
intentions, unclutter your mind, and focus completely on someone else for a
period of time, as might be the case in a meeting, or for a more fleeting
connection, as would be the case on the bus or in a grocery-store line.
To communicate well is to commune with others, build stronger relationships
and feel the satisfaction inherent in deeper connections. Right communication,
as we'll call it, is not specific to any one faith or mastery tradition. You can
practice skillful communication throughout your normal workday and after
(although you can also schedule times to practice more deeply).
Nature.
My parents trained me young to see fresh air and communing with nature as a
source of relaxation and inspiration. My mother, for her part, was forever
encouraging my sisters and me to "Turn off that television and go
outside." My father, who in addition to being a fellow introvert is a
renowned conservation and outdoors enthusiast, took me along on fishing trips
and hiking expeditions around his camp in the country. The lesson stuck: When I
need to clear my mind or unclog my inspiration channels, I head outdoors,
whether for a walk around the block or a trip up the coast or to the mountains.
Aside from exercise and clarifying doses of fresh air and sunshine -- which
are benefits not to be underestimated -- getting out into nature offers valuable
life and business lessons. When I take a walk or go for a hike, everywhere I
turn I see evidence of the natural cycle of life. Whether in the city or
country, some things are just sprouting, some are nearing the end of their life
cycle, and others have long since died. Some plants are vibrant in color, while
others are more subdued. Tides ebb and flow, and rivers and streams rush toward
the sea or trickle to a near stop. Creatures emerge ravenous from a period of
hibernation, or gather resources in anticipation of leaner times. Winter, like
the desert, seems cruel and stark, yet both teem with creation and life. Nature
reminds me that "for everything there is a season, a reason for everything
under the sun." Far from being impractical, these lessons are directly
applicable to the cycles that occur, like it or not, in business.
Gratitude.
Gratitude seems like something you have, not something you practice. But
practicing gratitude can have a profound effect on the quality of your day and
thus, as a practice, enrich your life. By choosing to spend some portion of your
day focusing on those things for which you're grateful, you spend that much less
time stewing over what you don't have or what didn't happen. Given that many
people, based on a multitude of philosophical and faith traditions, believe that
you attract into your life that which you spend significant time thinking about,
watching what you think about makes sense.
Yet practicing gratitude, particularly if you're openly doing so, can be more
difficult than it should be. This reality, particularly in our culture,
fascinates me. How often have you heard, for example, people apologize for
seeming "Pollyanna-ish" due to their optimism or positive thinking?
How sick are we as a culture that we feel sheepish when we're not steeped in
pessimism, negativity or feelings of victimization?
You'd be surprised at how often you encounter resistance after you speak
openly in the language of gratitude, when what you hear back from others is a
litany of "Yeah, but..." and "Well it's easy for you,
but..." But, but, but. So practicing gratitude can be unnerving for others,
particularly if it marks a change from an old habit of more negative,
scarcity-based thinking. As massage therapist Christopher Adamo said, "We
commiserate in misery, but we hoard our joy." Big-vision business owners
choose not to wallow in misery, and opt to share both their abundance and their
joy.
Many of the business owners with whom I spoke for this book said they felt
lucky to own a business, or blessed because the road rose up to meet them time
and again. A gratitude practice promotes such an overall feeling of abundance.
You can spend five minutes in the morning listing three things for which you're
grateful in that moment, or you can focus a daily prayer or meditation on the
concept or feeling of gratitude. Regardless, the reminder of the many ways in
which you're blessed, of the many things for which you can feel gratitude, can
lend buoyancy during times of challenge and momentum from the realization that
you're always in a season of plenty should you choose to see it.
Prayer and Meditation.
If I had to select one practice that is the most important to my sense of
equilibrium and well being, I'd have to choose prayer and meditation. These are
what I would call Source Practices, from which all others can flow. What's the
difference between prayer and meditation? One of the best definitions I've seen
is that prayer is when you talk to God or Highest Self, and meditation is when
you listen for the response. A balanced practice makes time for both.
Occasionally I'm asked, in true Californian fashion, what type of prayer and
meditation I practice. Asking such a thing in casual conversation would have
been considered rude in the Northeast, where I grew up. The question both amuses
and frustrates me, primarily because the person asking almost always believes
that there is only one way to do each. But that's not so. The variety of ways we
can pray and meditate is, in itself, a miracle and an inspiration.
Beyond that initial definition of talking to God and listening for a
response, prayer and meditation can take many forms other than the most obvious
or familiar. You can create a space and assign a specific time for daily prayer;
read sacred texts and reflect on their meaning in your daily life; sit in prayer
or meditation; make certain activities a kind of prayer or meditation, as
Mohandas Gandhi did with his spinning; or you can do walking prayer or
meditation. You might, as the Zen practitioners do, center your attention on
your breathing. Or you may choose centering prayer, in which you repeat a sacred
word or favorite prayer, or center your mind on a virtue such as generosity or
love.
Living in San Francisco, I'm most fortunate to be surrounded by people taking
a variety of paths to Truth. Walking in my neighborhood, I see or hear Buddhism,
the Tao, Confucianism, Judaism, Catholicism, Orthodoxy, Protestantism, New Age,
Christian Science, Mormonism, Islam, Hinduism and other belief systems in
action. I smell the incense and see the prayer shrines, and each time am
reminded of how important it is to make a place for the sacred among my daily
activities.
Service to others.
Would it change your day if upon waking you asked, "How can I be of
service?" If, after asking, you journeyed through your day as if each
circumstance provided an answer to your question?
I have several favorite anecdotes or readings to help remind me of the
practice of service to others. One is attributed to Mother Teresa who, upon
being asked how one could change the world, responded with her trademark
directness, "If you want to change the world, pick up a broom." Like
Dorothy Day, another proponent of the value of "the little work,"
Mother Teresa reminds us that great change and great contribution finds itself
in our willingness to do the small things -- picking up a broom, answering the
phone, doing paperwork -- with an attitude of service and generosity.
In The
Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, Dr. Deepak Chopra also suggests that
being of service doesn't have to be expensive or elaborate. You can be of
service in the smallest of ways, such as holding open a door, offering a seat on
a bus or giving a smile to someone who might treasure that contact in an
otherwise lonely day. Chopra writes, "When you meet someone, you can
silently send them a blessing, wishing them happiness, joy and laughter."'
Most mornings as I ready myself to begin my workday, I reflect on one of
several prayers, such as that of St. Francis of Assisi. The Assisi prayer
orients me toward being of service to others instead of solely to myself. When I
say, "Make me an instrument of your peace" or "Grant not that I
seek to be consoled, but to console others; to be understood but to understand
others; to be loved but to love others," I shift into an awareness that,
instead of being self-centered and brusque, I can serve through my willingness
to listen or in a humble offering of even the smallest gesture of compassion or
kindness.
Support from advisers and peers.
Cultivating a support network is such a worthwhile practice that I'm always
amazed when a business owner, for whatever reason, refuses to seek counsel and
wisdom from others. I recently worked with an individual who felt the enormous
pressures of business ownership, but who refused any suggestions that he
identify peers from whom he could seek guidance and ideas. According to Larisa
Langley, who spent nearly five years with the San Antonio Chamber of Commerce
before joining a small business herself, this self-enforced isolation has a high
price.
"Pride goeth before a fall. A lot of times, that's one of the
problems," says Langley. "Some small-business owners can be very
stubborn, and that can be a very good thing. They're not going to give up. But
that stubbornness can be their downfall, because they're incapable of asking for
help or asking for assistance when they need to."
A business owner's circle might include peers with whom you meet over lunch
or coffee (or even via e-mail); an informal advisory board made up of your
attorney, accountant and another business owner or two; or a mentor who has been
in business longer than you. You can also hire a personal coach to provide
regular counsel; a person who will demand accountability from you as you
undertake the journey from living according to someone else's standards to the
more authentic reality -- and balance -- you've envisioned.
Mindfulness.
Mindfulness is a word that is often associated with Buddhism. However, the
concept and practice of mindfulness also appears in other practices, both sacred
and philosophical. Many traditions urge us to wake up and be conscious to what
we're doing at any given moment. Mindfulness -- or awareness -- is a matter of
paying attention, right now. Think about how often you're doing one thing --
meeting with someone, for instance -- but you're really not there at all.
Instead, you're thinking about something that happened yesterday or how
something will work out tomorrow. You're preoccupied with something other than
the person with whom you're meeting.
You might also walk, eat or even drive mindlessly, and find yourself tripping
or bumping into things, choking on or spilling your food, or driving into the
back of someone else's car. Lama Surya Das, teacher and author of Awakening
the Buddha Within, wrote, "Our lack of mindfulness makes us
careless: Often we hurt others without thinking or sometimes even without
noticing we've done so."
As with many spiritual practices, nurturing a habit of being more aware has
very tangible results. "I'm much more conscious of trying to deal with
things as they are rather than how I want them to be. I'm more in tune with
reality, versus what I think or would want to happen," says Susan
Griffin-Black, founder of EO Products in Corte Madera, California. Griffin-Black
has seen her business through a number of typical challenges, including buying
out her original investors, regulating cash flows and presiding over an
expanding number of retail outlets. She has seen practical benefits in her
approach toward her business since beginning a meditation and mindfulness
practice nearly a decade ago.
"Everyone has two modes of behavior: times when you're paying attention
to what's happening in the moment, and times when you're on automatic,"
says Griffin-Black. "When you're on automatic, behaving as you think you
should, the possibility for being reactive is higher. When you're more mindful,
the possibility of being calm, kind and thoughtful is heightened. You make
better decisions for the long term, versus when you are reacting and are more
apt to lose your temper and make foolish decisions."
When you are mindful, you're making a decision to pay attention to what
you're doing, as you're doing it. You become more aware. For example, you might
notice things you've not seen before even though you drive past them every day,
or you'll observe yourself reacting to certain situations or personalities in an
unproductive way. Or you'll make different decisions about what you choose to
say to someone else, because you're more aware of how your words affect others.
Just try it. Make a commitment to being more aware today, and you'll notice
how often you're simply not paying attention.
Journaling.
Journals have been the tool of choice for dreamers, explorers and movement
leaders. In the past, people could save the letters received from friends and
loved ones, and the letters themselves became a type of journal. But today, in
the faster and more-crammed world that technology has allowed, people must make
a more deliberate decision to write about their experiences, challenges and
insights in a journal.
Aside from being a chronicle of your journey, as so many journals in
hindsight become, taking pen in hand to write in a notebook can produce an
unexpected bonus. The very act of writing by hand forces you to slow your
thoughts and quiet the incessant chatter that is the hallmark of the busy mind.
Liken it to driving: Imagine that you have an appointment with a wise counselor,
and are looking for a particular address in an unfamiliar place. Are you more
likely to find what you're looking for if you're speeding along at 75 miles per
hour, or if you slow down to a speed that allows distinctive buildings and signs
to emerge from the blur of what you're passing?
There are other journaling exercises that can be helpful in solving a problem
or seeing a situation differently. One that you might find interesting involves
writing out a question or issue in your nondominant hand. What's the point? As
Albert Einstein said, you won't solve problems by using the same approach that
got you where you are to begin with. When you do something differently, such as
writing with your left hand if you usually use your right, you break a pattern.
In the process, you might allow yourself a more creative way of seeing or
thinking.
You can also draw, use crayons or other colored writing tools, or glue in
words or pictures you've cut from a magazine. You might be thinking, "I
don't have time for that. Besides, that's for children." What do you think
it means that, to reach the kingdom of heaven, you must become like a child
again? Many creative activities seem childish, and yet creativity awakens
inspiration. And inspiration is exactly what you need to fuel your enthusiasm
and meet the challenges of business ownership in unusual and energizing ways. So
if your inner-adult is really that oppressive, schedule a date with a child to
journal, color and make a collage.
Wellness and Rejuvenation.
I have a confession to make. One of the excuses I loathe most is, "I
just don't have the time." I just flat out don't believe that's true. In
fact, as excuses go, I think this one is lame and uncreative. How often do you
say this? Make a promise to yourself, right now, that you'll no longer use this
excuse. You have as much time as everyone else on the planet. How you spend that
time is your choice, so you choose not to do something.
Why does this come up in a section about wellness and rejuvenation? Because
many people claim not to have the time for activities that will renew them, and
then complain about how exhausted they are. Maybe you've said this yourself. Do
you say you're too busy to eat a decent lunch, and do it in a civil timeframe
that doesn't require you to choke down your food? Do you complain about your
aching back, shoulders, neck or arms, but say you're too busy to schedule an
appointment with a neuromuscular massage professional? Do you lament the degree
to which your business has taken over your life, while insisting that you don't
have the time to see a movie, read a non-business book or go to the park? Can
you see that an alternative is just one decision away?
Attending to your wellness is another Source Practice that, if tended
carefully, allows you to fulfill your obligations more healthfully and
skillfully. When you make sure your mind, body and spirit are well fed, you
become less tired, harried, scattered and reactive. You find that you do,
indeed, have the time for everything that's most important to you, including
your wellness practice. Taking care of yourself might mean eating healthfully
(and not rushing through your meals); getting physical exercise, whether taking
a short walk or running a marathon; spending time in prayer or meditation to
quiet your mind and ease your physical and mental stress; playing with children
or animal companions; nurturing a hobby; scheduling regularly at a spa; or any
number of other activities that suit your interests and are therefore things
you'll do regularly.
Baseball.
This list wouldn't be complete for me without baseball, which may seem an
unlikely candidate for a wisdom- and mastery-practice list. But any baseball
lover will understand why it's included here. To me, as to other lovers of the
diamond sport, baseball is a great metaphor for life. Endeavor to appreciate
baseball, and many things become clear.
I followed the New York Yankees as a young girl growing up in upstate New
York, and then lost interest in the sport for more than a decade. When I tuned
in to watch the Florida Marlins play the Cleveland Indians in the 1997 World
Series, I became a baseball fan again. That was a great series, with long games
played well beyond the usual nine innings. The players were putting everything
they had on the line, out by out, inning by inning, game by game. The teams were
well-matched in skill, mindset and heart, and winning a division, and certainly
the Series, requires all three. Therein you find the most important lessons.
Take the psychology of the closer, for example. For non-baseball fans, the
closer is the hard-throwing pitcher who finishes the game, usually coming out in
the last inning to maintain the lead or prevent the other team from scoring.
Three outs, a matter of minutes; that's all the time the closer has to do his
job. When he's in flow and everything goes well, his team wins the game and he's
a hero. If he has a bad night, which for a closer might amount to just one bad
pitch, he makes his mistake in front of the 50,000 fans in attendance and
thousands more watching the game on television. Instead of saving the win, his
one mistake costs his team the game. As a result, the closer must be
particularly adept at managing his mindset, staying in the moment, clearing out
the noise and relying on his experience and skill to do what's needed right
then. After a bad night, or even several horrendous outings, he must still come
to the pitcher's mound thinking of nothing but what he has to pull off: Forget
yesterday's loss and that he's been in a slump, and do what it takes to get the
next three batters out. And you think you have pressure?
Similarly, a baseball player is cheered for his .334 batting average -- which
means that he's hit the ball one time out of every three chances, or failed
two-thirds of the time. That 33-percent success ratio makes for a great year at
the plate. Or a player might spend hours perfecting his mechanics -- the
smallest of details that most people don't notice but which make all the
difference in the highest levels of performance. The great players and teams go
further still. In the most recent division playoffs, players interviewed before
the game seemed uncertain and unconfident. They and their team would inevitably
lose the game that night. Individually and as a team, they weren't together in
mind, body and spirit. Watching them on the field, in contrast to other outings,
they didn't seem altogether there. In their minds and hearts, they'd already
lost the game. In a field where everyone is skilled, attending to mind and
spirit, and doing it more often than not, becomes a distinguishing factor.
The game is full of such lessons, of examples of peak-performance psychology
and of the cyclical nature of things. And many people find the same lessons, or
just relaxation, in their sport of choice, be it football, soccer, hockey or
professional wrestling. But from April through October, you can be certain that
I'm making the time to watch the San Francisco Giants, regardless of how busy
the day looks. I'm always amazed at how it parallels my life, and how its
lessons can be easily adapted when I head into the office the day after a great
game.
 This
article is excerpted from:
Big Vision, Small Business
by Jamie S.
Walters.
Reprinted with permission of the publisher, Ivy Sea Publishing. ©2001. www.ivysea.com
Info/Order
this book
About the Author
Jamie
S. Walters is the founder and CEO of Ivy Sea, Inc., an organizational consulting
firm based in San Francisco. The firm's award-winning public-service web site (www.ivysea.com)
was chosen as a content partner for Inc.com; and was recognized by About.com,
Entrepreneur's Edge and other business website portals as one of the best sites
for leaders and entrepreneurs on the Internet. Walters is the author of Big
Vision, Small Business: The Four Keys to Success & Satisfaction as a
Lifestyle Entrepreneur.
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