Held Back By Your
Past?
by Louise L.
Hay
Many people come to me and say they cannot enjoy today
because of something that happened in the past.
Because they did not do something or do it in a certain way in
the past, they cannot live a full life today...
Because they no longer have something they had in the past,
they cannot enjoy today...
Because they were hurt in the past, they will not accept love
now...
Because something unpleasant happened when they did something
once, they are sure it will happen again today...
Because they once did something that they are sorry for, they
are sure they are bad people forever...
Because once someone did something to them, it is now all the
other person’s fault that their life is not where they want it to be...
Because they became angry over a situation in the past, they
will hold on to that self-righteousness...
Because of some very old experience where they were treated
badly, they will never forgive and forget...
Because I did not get invited to the high school prom, I
cannot enjoy life today.
Because I did poorly at my first audition, I will be
terrified of auditions forever.
Because I am no longer married, I cannot live a full life
today.
Because I was hurt by a remark once, I will never trust
anyone again.
Because I stole something once, I must punish myself
forever.
Because I was poor as a child, I will never get
anywhere.
What we often refuse to realize is that holding on to the past,
no matter what it was or how awful it was, is ONLY HURTING US. They really don’t
care. Usually, they are not even aware. We are only hurting ourselves by
refusing to live in this moment to the fullest.
The past is over and done and cannot be changed. This is the
only moment we can experience. Even when we lament about the past, we are
experiencing our memory of it in this moment, and losing the real experience of
this moment in the process.
Exercise: Releasing
Let us now clean up the past in our minds. Release the
emotional attachment to it. Allow the memories to be just memories.
If you think back to what you used to wear in the third grade,
usually there is no emotional attachment. It's just a memory.
It can be the same for all of the past events in our lives. As
we let go, we become free to use all of our mental power to enjoy this moment
and to create a great future.
List all the things you are willing to let go of. How willing
are you to do this? Notice your reactions. What will you have to do to let these
things go? How willing are you to do so? What is your resistance level?
Forgiveness
Next step, forgiveness. Forgiveness of ourselves and of
others releases us from the past. The Course in MiraclesEach one of
these states comes from a space of unforgiveness, a refusal to let go and come
into the present moment. says over and
over that forgiveness is the answer to almost everything. I know that when we
are stuck, it usually means there is some more forgiving to be done. When we do
not flow freely with life in the present moment, it usually means we are holding
on to a past moment. It can be regret, sadness, hurt, fear, or guilt, blame,
anger, resentment, and sometimes even the desire for revenge.
Love is always the answer to healing of any sort. And
the pathway to love is forgiveness. Forgiveness dissolves resentment. There are
several ways in which I approach this.
Exercise: Dissolving
Resentment
There is an old Emmet Fox exercise for dissolving resentment
that always works. He recommends that you sit quietly, close your eyes, and
allow your mind and body to relax. Then, imagine yourself sitting in a darkened
theater, and in front of you is a small stage. On that stage, place the person
you resent the most. It could be someone in the past or present, living or dead.
When you see this person clearly, visualize good things happening to this
person, things that would be meaningful to her. See her smiling and happy.
Hold this image for a few minutes, then let it fade away. I
like to add another step. As this person leaves the stage, put yourself up
there. See good things happening to you. See yourself smiling and happy. Be
aware that the abundance of the Universe is available to all of us.
The above exercise dissolves the dark clouds of resentment most
of us carry. For some, it will be very difficult to do. Each time you do it, you
may get a different person. Do it once a day for a month, and notice how much
lighter you feel.
Exercise: Revenge
Those on the spiritual pathway know the importance of
forgiveness. For some of us, there is a step that is necessary before we can
totally forgive. Sometimes the little kid in us needs to have revenge before it
is free to forgive. For that, this exercise is very helpful.
Close your eyes, sit quietly and peacefully. Think of the
people who are hardest to forgive. What would you really like to do to them?
What do they need to do to get your forgiveness? Imagine that happening now. Get
into the details. How long do you want them to suffer or do penance?
When you feel complete, condense time and let it be over
forever. Usually at this point you feel lighter, and it is easier to think about
forgiveness. To indulge in this every day would not be good for you. To do it
once as a closing exercise can be freeing.
Exercise: Forgiveness
Now we are ready to forgive. Do this exercise with a partner if
you can, or do it out loud if you are alone.
Again, sit quietly with your eyes closed and say, “The person I
need to forgive is ___________ and I forgive you for ___________.”
Do this over and over. You will have many things to forgive
some for and only one or two to forgive others for. If you have a partner, let
him say to you, “Thank you, I set you free now.” If you do not, then imagine the
person you are forgiving saying it to you. Do this for at least five or ten
minutes. Search your heart for the injustices you still carry. Then let them
go.
When you have cleared as much as you can for now, turn your
attention to yourself. Say out loud to yourself, “I forgive myself for
___________.” Do this for another five minutes or so. These are powerful
exercises and good to do at least once a week to clear out any remaining
rubbish. Some experiences are easy to let go and some we have to chip away at,
until suddenly one day they let go and dissolve.
Exercise:
Visualization
Another good exercise. Have someone read this one to you if you
can, or put it on tape and listen to it.
Begin to visualize yourself as a little child of five or six.
Look deeply into this little child's eyes. See the longing that is there and
realize that there is only one thing this little child wants from you, and that
is love. So reach out your arms and embrace this child. Hold it with love and
tenderness. Tell it how much you love it, how much you care. Admire everything
about this child and say that it’s okay to make mistakes while learning. Promise
that you will always be there no matter what.
Now let this little child get very small, until it is just the
size to fit into your heart. Put it there so whenever you look down, you can see
this little face looking up at you, and you can give it lots of love.
Now visualize your mother as a little girl of four or five,
frightened and looking for love and not knowing where to find it. Reach out your
arms and hold this little girl and let her know how much you love her, how much
you care. Let her know she can rely on you to always be there, no matter what.
When she quiets down and begins to feel safe, let her get very small, just the
size to fit into your heart. Put her there with your own little child. Let them
give each other lots of love.
Now imagine your father as a little boy of three or four,
frightened, crying, and looking for love. See the tears rolling down his little
face when he doesn’t know where to turn. You have become good at comforting
frightened little children, so reach out your arms and hold his trembling little
body. Comfort him. Croon to him. Let him feel how much you love him. Let him
feel that you will always be there for him.
When his tears are dry, and you feel the love and peace in his
little body, let him get very small, just the size to fit into your heart. Put
him there so those three little children can give each other lots of love and
you can love them all.
There is so much love in your heart that you could heal the
entire planet. But just for now let us use this love to heal you. Feel a warmth
beginning to glow in your heart center, a softness, a gentleness. Let this
feeling begin to change the way you think and talk about yourself.
In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect, whole,
and complete. Change is the natural law of my life. I welcome change. I am
willing to change. I choose to change my thinking. I choose to change the words
I use. I move from the old to the new with ease and with joy. It is easier for
me to forgive than I thought. Forgiving makes me feel free and light. It is with
joy that I learn to love myself more and more. The more resentment I release,
the more love I have to express. Changing my thoughts makes me feel good. I am
learning to choose to make today a pleasure to experience. All is well in my
world.
This article excerpted from
 You Can Heal Your
Life (illustrated gift edition)
by Louise L. Hay.
Excerpted with permission from You Can Heal Your Life, ©1999 by
Louise L. Hay. Published by Hay House, P.O. Box 5100,
Carlsbad, CA 92018. 800-654-5126. Visit their website at www.hayhouse.com
Info/Order this
book
About The Author
Louise L. Hay is a metaphysical teacher and bestselling author of over 20 books
including "Heal Your Body" and "Empowering Women". Her works have been translated into 25
different languages in 33 countries.
| Comments () >> |
 |
 |
