The Necessity of Self Esteem
by Jeri Noble
 Very little can be
accomplished in metaphysics if one doesn't have a healthy self image and
sense of self esteem. This is due to the fact that a metaphysical treatment
must have a target. Whether you're using affirmations, visualizations or
meditation, there must be a focus for the results. That means you. You, your
life, your affairs are all what is supposed to be the receiving area of your metaphysical intent (unless you're doing a treatment for someone
else).
Metaphysical treatment is as good as the beliefs which are
supporting it. If the belief includes concepts such as "I really don't
deserve this", "I'll ruin it if I get it anyway", or
"Who would care if I do well?" this will reflect in the quality of
the manifestation. If you are having difficulties with manifestation of your
metaphysical treatments, this is the most likely reason why.
We all
have the instinct of believing well of ourselves. This may be buried,
repressed, oppressed or suppressed, but it still exists. There may be gender
considerations of worthiness and both genders can have their own version of
this. We may have instigated
self-fulfilling prophecies, which ensure that
we attract humiliating or disappointing circumstances. This is the key
point; we will attract to us the circumstances which reinforce our sense of
self worth, whether it's good or bad.
The most useful technique for
increasing self esteem is to talk oneself into it. This is called the
argumentative technique. You
should come up with counter-arguments against low self esteem, just as if you were participating in a
debate. This can be a
very down and dirty process and it's pretty much no holds barred. Using
every argument at your disposal, you counter the thoughts, concepts, and emotions, which are currently
convinced that you aren't worth
much. Pull
out examples from your past when you've exhibited your value and use them in
this argument. Ridicule the opposition. Poke holes in its logic.
Use
of the argumentative technique demands that you refuse to be convinced of
the opposing side's position. It may use deep emotion in its
counter-attacks. This can include depression, despair of ever being good
enough, fear of arrogance... the list can go on and on. This is knee-jerk
conditioning fighting back. This part of the self really isn't very
intelligent. It can only repeat by rote what it's been told by you and by
others. It is also capable of translating what it's been told into emotion.
It just isn't reasonable to allow oneself to be persuaded by an automaton of
the mind. It's primarily your input which gives it information; therefore
you are quite capable of altering the programming.
Negative self
esteem is a habit, a highly addictive habit. I suspect this is because
it is accompanied by a sensation of energy plowing into the Self. When we
feel that we cannot be open to positive input of emotional sensation, any
sensation will do. The majority of this emotional energy is anger. Anger at
the Self for being worthless, stupid, incompetent, etc. This anger has a
wrong target. The Self is none of these things. However, the conditioning, which created the condition, is. In your argument, this gives you
further ammunition to break the habit of negative self esteem.
Perhaps
you can see what an enemy to your well- being this is, and have a greater
willingness to defeat it.
There is nothing good or worthwhile about
having a low opinion of oneself. In metaphysics, it can be disastrous. This
is because while one is exploring the uses of metaphysics, power automatically grows in the area. If one has a poor self image, the
power
can turn against you. For example, perhaps you are visualizing a lovely
romantic relationship. If you are not in good shape, you may very easily
attract someone who will complement these negative ideas about the Self,
reinforcing them. Your metaphysical power has increased (you did attract a
romantic relationship) but you may have
been better off without the manifestation.
Having a positive self
image is sometimes frowned upon in certain belief systems. Labels such as
pride, arrogance, and conceit can sometimes cause us to consciously impose a
more negative view of ourselves than is warranted. A handy way that I've
found to view this sort of situation is to look at our essential nature. Who
are we? As with a plant, such as a rosebush, is it concerned with other's opinions of its beauty? Or is it simply being itself? My conclusion
is
that having a positive self image is a natural function of the psyche. It
needn't inflict its "rightness" on others, nor does it have to
attempt to diminish anyone else. The Self does have the right to be itself
however, and to be it well.
I've also noticed that positive self esteem
improves one's health, sociability, and general attitude towards life. In my
opinion, this indicates that self esteem is a natural state of being, growing, and flourishing. One can notice if this is contradicted in your arguments
and pay special heed to it. If part of your psyche is demanding that
you
be unhealthy, unsociable, and negative towards life, does this really seem
reasonable? Perhaps you could take a hard look at this approach and see how
foolish it actually is. Please don't take this as an implication that you
are foolish, just that the idea is. When you examine the premise carefully,
you may see that it simply lacks validity.
Self punishment is often
the "reason" behind a poor level of self esteem. This occurs when we
attempt to hold onto guilt for a past mistake in order to avoid repeating
it. This isn't reasonable either. How much of one's life must be shattered
in order to remember to avoid a single error? Even supposing that you didn't
remember to avoid that particular situation which you're trying to avoid,
wouldn't it be advantageous to be in better shape to deal with it? With increased self esteem, the original situation is unlikely to reoccur.
Increased self esteem is an invaluable asset to productive
metaphysical work. The confidence which accompanies this
mindset enables
a more "direct line" manifestation of our goals as well as opening
us to inspiration and enlightenment. This is due to the fact that most of us
can feel that an "unworthy" individual isn't entitled to extra
good in their lives. If we place ourselves in this category, obviously we
inhibit our good. Conversely if we can deem ourselves worthy of additional
good, we can allow ourselves to have it.
 Recommended
book:
Ten Days to Self-Esteem
by David D. Burns.
Info/Order this book
About The
Author
Jeri Noble has been a professional counselor for over 25 years in a variety
of modalities. These include Past Life regression, astrology, and rebirthing. Jeri lives with her life partner Tom, (that's right, Tom and Jeri) and their dog Silky in Sedona, Arizona. She spends much
of her free time hiking and gardening. An avid bookworm and writer, Jeri
produces 4 weekly columns plus an original weekly article for her website,
Circles of Light. http://circlesoflight.com
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