Look Within
& See
by Marie T.
Russell
 Have
you ever found yourself wanting to 'fix' people? You know... when you can
clearly see everything that's wrong with them and want to reorganize them and
their life?
It seems so easy for us to look at someone else and see everything that
they need to do to improve themselves. It seems so easy to 'fix' someone else...
to see everything they could change in their personality, relationships,
attitudes, patterns, and lives in general.
When you find yourself doing that, you can be sure that if you turned that
projection around and applied it to yourself you would discover many truths and
have some astonishing revelations.
For example, the other day I found myself in various situations in which
the old 'beast' of judgment reared its ugly head. Seemed like I would do so much
better in their situation... Yet when I applied the technique of taking whatever I was criticizing
in someone else and applying it to myself, I discovered some amazing things... I
also was 'guilty' of those same things I was judging in others.
If you desire to see where you need to do some clearing, try this... The
next time you find yourself blaming, judging, or criticizing someone, ask
yourself: "How do I exhibit this behavior also? How does this apply to my
actions and thoughts?" I would be willing to bet that if you are honest with
yourself you'll discover some amazing truths... or rather I should say, some
amazing illusions.
Someone dropped in the other day who was exhibiting strong behavior of
blame and other such energies. So I knew that if this was coming out in my
presence, then obviously I needed to look within myself to see how I was
harboring thoughts of blame. And sure enough, those thoughts were there...
If people around you are acting out anger, look within yourself and find
out what you are angry about. If you find yourself in conversations where the
'other' is judging and criticizing, ask yourself how you are being judgmental
and critical. It could be behavior that you are directing towards others or
towards yourself. Have you been judging yourself? Have you been finding yourself
wanting in certain areas?
Remember that the 'other' is always a reflection of you. So rather than
expend energy trying to 'fix' the other, use that energy where it can really
make a difference... 'fix' yourself. Look at yourself and see what needs
clearing.
A saying that I really like from Peace Pilgrim is "If the thoughts you are
thinking have not brought you peace, keep trying..."
Many times our past behavior has tended towards judging and blaming, when
those energies definitely do not bring peace. How do you feel when you are in
the middle of those energies? Definitely not peaceful and loving, right?
Not only is judging and blaming harmful to yourself, to your inner peace
and joy, but it is futile... unless you turn it around and apply it to yourself!
When you use it as a learning tool, then you can really make a difference -- in
yourself.
The next time you find yourself judging or blaming someone else, remember
to ask your Higher Self to show you how you are really judging and blaming
yourself. And please forgive yourself for all of these old patterns. This was
simply learned behavior, and it can be replaced with a more useful and loving
energy.
When you find yourself in any situation that seems to call up unloving
responses in you, remember that you have a choice. You can make yourself
miserable by staying in the judgment and blame, or you can release the other
person to Spirit. Everyone has the right to make their own 'mistakes' and to
learn in the way they choose. Rather than place your focus on them, place it on
yourself. Everything that comes to you is an opportunity for love and healing.
Everything is there to help us regain our inner peace and innate state of love
and harmony.
Make it a daily practice. Look around you (and within you) and see what
situations have been bringing up thoughts unlike Love. Then use those situations
as mirrors. Look at them and see... This is especially powerful in those
situations where we find ourselves reacting strongly to someone or to a
situation. If it's pushing your buttons, then you can be sure there is something
you need to look at. As a wise friend of mine said, "If you didn't have any
buttons, I wouldn't be able to push them!" So the next time someone pushes your
button, get rid of the button... instead of blaming the button pusher.
Recommended book:
Love Is Letting Go of Fear (25th anniversary edition)
by Gerald G. Jampolsky.
In the more than 25 years since it was
first published, LOVE IS LETTING GO OF FEAR continues to change lives with its
frank, thought-provoking, and powerful response to overcoming life's greatest
challenges.
Info/Order
this book.
 About The Author
Marie
T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also
produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from
1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal growth, and
well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own
inner source of joy and creativity.
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