Letting Go of Fear
by Aeeshah Ababio-Clottey
and Kokomon Clottey
Your pain is the breaking of the shell
that encloses your understanding.
--
KAHLIL GIBRAN
As
we have looked deeply into the pain of racism over the years, we have come to
realize again and again that we could never heal these awesome wounds without
some kind of spiritual support. We have seen through the years that we can deal
with blatant discrimination through legal channels and receive some corrective
action, but these kinds of compensation cannot heal hearts. Our goal is deeper
healing, and this requires spiritual as well as practical and supportive
processes. We want nothing less than total release from the pain and fear that
racist conditioning breeds. This means looking deeply into the part we all play
in keeping the separation alive.
We ask you to walk with us as we
describe how we began to move through our fears. In our own lives, the
principles of attitudinal healing proved invaluable to this process. Saying to
ourselves, "Health is inner peace, and healing is letting go of fear," offers us
an important step along the path to healing. To truly start to live this basic
principle takes us to the next level-that of actualization in our world.
Sometimes we fear that if we
forgive someone we perceive has wronged us, our forgiveness will let the "bad
guy" get away with it. We are afraid to trust the law of compensation (sometimes
called the law of karma or the law of cause and effect) to work on the worldly
plane, but our task does not include judging our co-workers, our neighbors, or
those we think have wronged us. Our task rather lies in loving ourselves
unconditionally, and extending that unconditional love out to all we meet.
Healing our mind of racial overtones in a society that was formed out of the
fabric of racial categorization poses a challenge. However, as we rise to meet
this challenge, this practice frees us from the world of conflict and fear.
Transforming Fear to
Peace
Not too long ago, I (Kokomon)
worked for a delivery company as a courier. It was the month of December, and I
had on a coat to protect me from the cold. I went to Lake Merritt Plaza to
deliver a package to a business on the twenty-fourth floor of a large building.
I entered the elevator, and while I was waiting for it to take off, a young
white woman walked in. As soon as she was in, the door closed and the elevator
took off. She was also going to the twenty-fourth floor. Just as she was about
to press the button, she realized the light was already on.
At this point, she registered
that there was somebody else in the elevator and that this person happened to be
a black man -- me. Fear came over her; it was palpable. I could tell she was
very, very afraid of me. She was an attractive woman dressed in black, wearing
some type of coat over a black mini-skirt.
Because I could sense her fear,
I took a position as far away from her as I could. The inside of the elevator
ceiling was decorated with a mirror, so I could look at her just by glancing at
the ceiling. She had her head down, and she was in her corner, and I was in
mine. All kinds of thoughts were going through my head, because I had been
reading stories regarding the lynching of black men in America who for one
reason or another had been accused of raping white women. When I sensed that she
was afraid -- she was actually trembling with fear -- I got alarmed. I became
very frightened myself. What if this woman were to level an accusation against
me? How would I defend myself? This was very disturbing. I focused on the
elevator panel and the signs of progress from floor to floor. I could feel my
own fear growing.
Then, I realized that I could do
something to help me let go of my growing fear. I could make a different choice.
I took a deep breath and started repeating to myself a prayer to acknowledge
that my spirit and the woman's spirit were one, that we had one mind, and that
that mind was one of love and kindness and nothing else. I transmitted the idea
that I had no interest in who she was other than to respect her as a woman and a
human being -- that I did not know her, I didn't want money from her, and I had
no interest whatsoever.
I found it amazing that by the
time the elevator was passing the eighteenth floor, she was getting the message
-- by mental telepathy, by love, by whatever you want to call it -- that we just
happened to be in the same elevator at the same time, and that's it. I noticed
that her energy was changing. I could see in the mirror in the ceiling that she
was beginning to look at me, and she could see that I was on some important
mission, and that she just happened to be in the elevator. She turned to me, and
greeted me. All of a sudden she said out loud, "I am no longer afraid of you." I
took a deep breath and turned to her. I wanted to ask her why she'd been afraid
of me. I was very shaken by the whole experience, as she validated my perception
of her fear. What could have caused that fear, other than the fact that I was a
black man? I didn't know her.
This is the work of prejudice, I
thought to myself. Prejudice is an unfavorable opinion or feeling that is formed
beforehand. Because of her preconceptions, this woman feared me for no other
reason than that I was a black man. When she said, "I am no longer afraid of
you," I wanted to ask a million questions. Had she been offended by a black
person or a black man before? Had she had any altercation with a black person?
What information had she picked up from the media? But I was tongue-tied, and I
was also on my job, so when the elevator reached the twenty-fourth floor we
parted, and I went about my business.
The experience stuck with me,
though, revealing both the fear that prejudice leads to, and the healing power
of loving thoughts.
Inner Peace
and True Health
Most of the time when
we think of health, we think of our physical body.
However, our focus in this book is about our mind and
our great need for inner peace, which leads to racial
healing. Mother Teresa, who worked so devotedly during
her lifetime to uplift the poor and diseased, said that
the most serious problem facing us in this century is
spiritual deprivation.
We are inclined to
resonate with this belief, and for this reason we have
defined racism as a life-threatening illness, a
deprivation of the spirit. We have learned that racial
harmony cannot be legislated. It is not a legal issue.
It is a heart issue. Today more than ever we are torn
emotionally over the issue of race.
From the perspective
of attitudinal healing, health is not about our physical
condition; instead, health is seen as a state of being
free of fear -- a mental state. Health is a state of
being free of conflict, free of emotional pain, free of
guilt. Health is a harmonious state -- alive, energetic,
loving, and kind. In this state, we can experience a
personal transformation. This is what true health is.
You may be asking yourself right now: How can I
experience this? Our belief is that you experience
health by letting go of fear and setting a single goal
of experiencing inner peace. You learn to let go of fear
every time you intentionally keep your heart open at the
very moment that you most feel like contracting. By
breathing into the area in your chest that starts to
constrict when you are afraid, you are choosing health
and healing over fear and separation.
Putting the
Principle into Practice
"Health
is inner peace,
and healing is letting go of fear.
1. We have been
working with the principles of attitudinal healing for
some time, and we still find that we struggle with them,
especially when we are challenged with an opportunity to
let go of our fears about the "other". None of
us wants to admit that we may be feeling guilty or
victimized, or that we may be acting as an oppressor
when confronted with racial, cultural, class, or gender
issues. And, let's face it, when we are experiencing
fear, we cannot feel peaceful; we cannot experience true
health.
The key factor when
we are faced with a fearful belief is to make the choice
not to resist the feeling. We can admit to ourselves
that we are not peaceful and ask for help and express
our fears and prejudices honestly. We have learned that
it is often difficult to resolve these kinds of issues
alone. The quickest way to let go of fear is to reach
out to another human being. Many times we are
experiencing so much embarrassment with issues related
to racism that we are unable to ask for help. We bury
our feelings. Simply reaching out to a friend or family
member we trust can help us begin to change this
dynamic.
2. However, if you
find yourself experiencing the constriction of fear
around the issue of race and you are not able to reach
out to another, sit down quietly and do the following:
Take a pen and
paper and begin to list all your fearful thoughts
about race. These might include your fears of the
"other", as well as your fears about your
own prejudice.
Take several long,
deep breaths as you list your fears, imagining
yourself breathing the fears out as you list them.
Then, make a
contrasting list of loving images and breathe
deeply. As you take these deep breaths, imagine
yourself breathing in all the love from your
positive images.
3. Remember, letting
your breath flow and keeping your chest open allows you
to let go of fear, and letting go of fear will bring you
the true health of inner peace.
 This article was
excerpted from:
Beyond Fear: Twelve Spiritual Keys to Racial Healing by Aeeshah Abadio-Clottey
& Kokomon Clottey.
Excerpted with
permission from the publishers, H J Kramer, PO Box 1082,
Tiburon, California. ©1999. All rights reserved.
Info/Order
this book.
About The
Authors
Recipients
of the Jampolsky Award for Exemplary Work in Attitudinal Healing for the
Racial Healing Project and the Ghana Project, Aeeshah Abadio-Clottey
and Kokomon Clottey are internationally recognized for their
workshops on racial healing. Together they founded the Attitudinal Healing
Connection in Oakland, California, and Ghana, West Africa. The Attitudinal Healing Connection's
website is www.ancestralhealing.com.
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