Compassion & Forgiveness
by Vincent Cole
As
you begin to seek inner faith and come to trust yourself and your abilities, you
must first cross a small bridge. We call this the "bridge of
forgiveness". At this point in your journey you make the emotional decision
to evolve. You have come this far by making the intellectual decision to move
forward, but now you must make the emotional decision. Now you must step upon
this bridge of forgiveness so as not to carry the past into the future.
Put your hand on your heart, take a deep breath and relax. See yourself
standing at the foot of a bridge. Stand there quietly. Take a brief moment to
look back. See the past you leave behind. See the old disappointments and
ancient sorrows as vague shadows far in the distance. You do this so you may
release them. The way to let them go is to forgive.
Take another deep breath. Calm yourself. Even though this is a small bridge
it can be a difficult one to cross.
As you start across the bridge you will begin to call forth all those in the
past and those presently in your life who have hurt you. Allow into your
awareness the faces of those who have caused you pain. Some people will appear
suddenly before you, people you have almost forgotten, and people you remember
all too well. With each face, each name and each memory of pain, begin to
forgive.
Recall the classmates and childhood friends who laughed at you and forgive
them. Recall when your parents acted unwisely, or were insensitive and forgive
them. Recall employers who may have been unfair or caused you stress. Forgive
them. Now is the time to forgive those who died and left you alone.
Allow to come into your mind all those you loved but who rejected you, not
because of who you are, but because they could not see, could not accept,
because they were frightened. Begin now to forgive them. Bring into mind the
lovers in your life, even if they were a part of your life for only a brief
moment. Recall the pain, the difficulties, the misunderstandings, and their
final departure. Remember how it felt and begin to forgive.
Now is the time to forgive all those who hated you, who despised and
ridiculed you, those who considered themselves to be your enemy. Forgive all
enemies.
Let their faces come to mind. Let the incidents of the past be remembered no
matter how painful, no matter how much you would rather forget. Allow the images
and feelings to arise so you can release them with forgiveness.
Realize you have kept these memories and their remnant pain within you. You
have held on to them. You may have thought you had forgotten, that you shrugged
them off and turned your back against them, however, realize that each
experience is held within your memory and still effects how you walk in the
world. You have not yet released the pain through forgiveness. You have not
looked upon each experience with wisdom and love and strength.
The ego uses these memories to remember what is painful and to keep you
guarded against future pain. This keeps you from moving forward. Unless you
forgive and release the pain it will always be a part of you like a heavy chain
dragging behind you, clanking loudly and slowing your evolution. Release this
chain that binds you.
As you walk across this bridge and encounter the faces of pain and sorrow you
may feel once again the anger, the heartache of rejection and loneliness. Even
the memory of physical pain could be felt anew and cause you to retreat in fear.
Realize those old feelings stand in your way of truly forgiving. Use your inner
strength to cross this bridge, forgiving those who would stand in your way,
determined to go beyond the pain of the past.
With some memories you may see clearly and with amusement the
misunderstandings that occurred so long ago. With other memories the images may
seem quite solid, quite real as you re-experience the pain. In such a case you
may feel great reluctance to forgive. You may feel only anger towards the person
who caused you such harm. It is then you must take the staff of perseverance and
walk steadily past the offender with the simple words, "I forgive
you."
And in those relationships that were especially close to you, in those
experiences in which the pain is too deep and the heartache is too devastating,
great strength will be needed. When you resist having to look at the experience
again and you fear the anguish and torment of the open wound use the sword to
cut away the fear, to destroy the weakness, and dispel the darkness of that
memory. Use the sword to cut away the chains of that memory that darken your
life and use the power of forgiveness to end your suffering.
Yes, there are those people you would cherish hating, those you say could
never be forgiven because the hurt is too deep, the damage too great. Begin to
understand that your anger and hate, your fear and pain keep you bound to the
situation and the people involved. By holding on to such feelings you keep those
people in your life, connected to them on an emotional level. Even though the
ones who hurt you may be long gone, even dead, you remain connected to them by
your feelings. They are still with you. They are still tormenting you. With
forgiveness you let them go.
As you cross the bridge and face those who hurt you be aware of your own
feelings towards them. If you ask yourself why forgive them; why forgive those
who died and left you alone; why forgive those who rejected you; why forgive
those who were so cruel? Simply say to yourself, "They did not know what
they were doing."
If anyone of them had truly known there was another way of being in the world
they would not have acted according to the fear and desperation of their egos.
Had they known otherwise, they would not have allowed their own fear and anger
and hate to blind them. How could they act from love and goodness when they did
not know such power? They did not know there could be another way. Their actions
towards you were according to their limited understanding. Yes, there are those
in the world so lost in darkness, so ruled by their own selfishness, so much a
part of what you call evil, that their actions seem cruel beyond imagination.
Forgive them so you do not fear them. Forgive those who have lost their souls.
They did not know what they were doing.
Forgiveness may not heal all the pain for some people. It is to their benefit
that some pain remains during their journey on earth. It may be difficult to
understand how a painful experience can actually be a blessing. Many lives are
altered by a single, traumatic event that forced their souls to take a new
direction in life. Many are reading this because sorrow and confusion has
led them to seek answers, to seek new understandings and seek healing for the
pain in their lives. Though forgiveness may not remove all the pain, it will
remove the fear.
As fear is released with each step along the bridge of forgiveness you will
gain strength and perhaps some understanding as to why certain events have
occurred in your life. Even if you do not fully understand, even if you find it
hard to feel true forgiveness, nevertheless, continue to walk, continue to say
to all you meet, "I forgive you. Go in peace." After all, you can
never know true forgiveness unless you have someone to forgive. And, when you
begin to forgive others, you can then begin to forgive yourself.
Halfway across the bridge stop for a moment and look inward, stand alone and
seek within yourself the sadness, the shame, and the guilt of your own past
mistakes. With the power of forgiveness you can do so with clarity and courage.
You must look at your own past and begin to forgive yourself. You cannot step
off this bridge until you have learned to forgive yourself with the same love
and wisdom and strength you have given to others. You must call to mind what
should be considered not sins or flaws, but simply errors in judgment. Recall
the times you acted unwisely, and forgive yourself. Realize that through
ignorance and pain, you have hurt other people. You, too, were blind to those
who were in need of your love. Forgive yourself. You, too, rejected those who
may have been seeking your understanding and compassion. Forgive yourself
because you were limited by the ego.
You must take responsibility for your actions in the world. You must accept
the consequences. True forgiveness is to acknowledge the errors of the past,
acknowledge what was done out of ignorance, and move forward in another
direction. The errors were part of learning. There is no need to repeat what you
have already learned. To forgive yourself is to overcome the snares of the past
so errors will not be repeated. Forgiveness heals the past so the blindness, the
fear, the resentments of the ego have no hold upon you.
Forgiveness is a power. It is a force that cleanses, heals, and transforms.
The ego will have you believe that to forgive is to be weak. It interprets
forgiveness to mean condoning an action, acquiescing to the pain, and forgetting
what happened. Forgive and forget are two different words. You cannot forget the
experience. That would be foolish. The experience, though painful, has made you
wiser. If you would cleanse yourself of bitterness and hate, it will be easier
to see the wisdom you have gained. The ego, however, will hold on to anger,
hate, sorrow, and loneliness as a shield to protect you from further pain. The
ego sees itself as protecting you, but it just keeps you limited and entrapped
within the darkness of ignorance. All that has happened in your life did so for
a reason, though you may not always understand why.
Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the prison of the past. Don't linger
trying to understand why you should leave behind the limitations that bind you.
Use the power within you, use the force of your spirit to unlock the door and
forgive. It is the way of the spirit, the force of your True Personality that
can replace hate with love, exchange weakness for strength, and bring the light
of wisdom to conquer the blindness of ignorance. It does so with forgiveness.
If you are willing to forgive all those who have hurt you then you have made
the emotional decision to evolve. Let the past remain in the past. Realize those
people are gone. Realize they have no power over you. Understand that those
experiences are ancient memories and will not happen again except in your mind,
if you allow it to be so. It is only with the power of forgiveness that you
leave behind the pain and sorrow.
The amount of pain you feel during this part of your journey, the intense
feelings of resentment and revenge that arise as you cross this bridge, are in
direct correlation to the amount of resistance you have towards forgiving. If
you are hesitant you will cross the bridge slowly and increase the time spent
reliving the hate, the hurt and the disappointments. You can cross this bridge
with sure and steady steps if you allow yourself to feel the power of
forgiveness.
As you reach the part of the bridge where you begin to forgive yourself you
may be hampered by feelings of shame and guilt. Do not allow such feelings to
stop you. You may also feel the opposite and struggle for justification through
self-pity. Do not allow such self-defense to blind you.
Feel the shame, feel the guilt, feel the self-pity, if you must, then let
such feelings go and seek instead the feeling of forgiveness.
Do not be afraid to look with wisdom, strength, and gentle kindness at how
you have lived your life. The errors you made were simply because you did not
know any better. Had you known otherwise, you would have acted otherwise. You
did not have the experience to teach you that there is another way of being in
the world.
The world you came into, the people in your life, the experiences you had
were all within the limitations of the ego. So were you. This is no longer
necessary. Let this experience of forgiveness be the first of many experiences
to teach you that a new way can exist. You can feel more than what has been felt
in the past. You can be more than what you thought yourself to be. Wisdom is
yours. Strength is within you. Love awaits. Put down the shield of
self-protection and raise the banner of forgiveness. Crossing this bridge is a
battle. It may be difficult for some readers. For others it will go quite
easily. A few might think they have crossed the bridge only to find they have
fooled themselves. Their journey will take them back to the bridge so once again
they have the chance to forgive. You may have to cross this bridge many times,
each time strengthening your resolve to battle ignorance with forgiveness.
Only you will know if you have acquired the full force of forgiveness. The
power of forgiveness is not a power of the mind. Forgiveness is a power and
energy that comes from the heart. You will know it by feeling it. You will feel
its power as it heals your emotions. Do not hesitate to open your heart and
forgive the past, forgive yourself and move in a new direction.
On the other side of the bridge you enter the realm where you find the true
meaning of compassion. The concept of compassion has been so misunderstood. The
ego reduces compassion to pity. The full realization of compassion is limited to
feeling sorry for someone, feeling sorry for ourself. The ego's judgments limit
understanding and sorrow is felt for any experience it defines as bad, that is,
harmful to the ego. It looks upon such experiences with pity rather than true
compassion and spiritual understanding.
Compassion is a jewel. Pity is a rock. Understand the difference. In the past
you have used the rock of pity against yourself and against others. Yes, you
cause more harm than good when you use that rock. You hurt others. You hurt
yourself whenever pity is used. Whenever you use pity the limited judgments of
the ego are reinforced.
Pity grows from the ego's sense of helplessness in a situation. You try
shedding tears as if that would change it. You try throwing money at the
problem, as if that would change it. You may spend great lengths of time using
the intellect to analyze the cause of the problem, as if that would change it.
Still, there is suffering. Still, there is poverty. The earth in its wisdom
adjusts itself and you call the resulting floods, earthquakes, and windstorms a
pitiful tragedy. You feel pity for those who suffer, as you would feel pity for
yourself under the same circumstances.
Pity is a noose you put around your neck as you await circumstances to come
along and kick the chair out from under your feet. Pity is suicide. You are
killing yourself mentally and emotionally by feeling sorry for yourself. Realize
that pity keeps you trapped. It is a cage also for those you feel sorry for, as
you reinforce and project upon them your own fears and sorrow. When you are
trapped in pity you forget your inner strength. You lose trust and faith. You
become deaf and blind to the force of God available to you.
If in your heart you feel the need to alleviate the suffering you see in the
world then get up and do so, but not with pity. Realize that pity changes
nothing. Go forth with strength, wisdom, and true compassion, and then you will
have an effect in the world. Pity cripples, compassion strengthens.
You will need your strength to escape the trap of pity. Strength is needed so
you can lift your feet and continue on with life. If you are willing to let go
of the ego's pity you will soon discover true compassion. Therefore, put down
the rock and pick up the jewel. Seek a greater understanding than what the ego
offers.
We warn you against the limits of pity so you do not carry it any further.
You leave it behind. As you cross the bridge of forgiveness you looked upon the
experiences of your life. Once you reach the other side you begin to look upon
the circumstances affecting the world, affecting the lives of those around you,
and still playing a part in your own education. You will learn to look with
compassion.
With true compassion you will be guided towards a greater understanding and a
more expanded awareness as to the nature of both physical and spiritual reality.
Compassion will lift you to a higher level of consciousness. It will keep you
from relying on the limited judgments of the ego.
Compassion is a magical tool. It is there for you, for your journey on earth,
for your soul's evolution. You will know you possess the jewel when you
experience it working in your life. You will not have to think about it, though
you may have to remind yourself in the beginning to put away pity and learn to
see things in a different way, to look deeper than what is apparent, to see
beyond the limited judgments of the ego. Compassion is insight. It is a part of
your human consciousness that needs to be awakened by developing your spiritual
abilities. Only when you possess compassion will you truly understand its
abilities. Though you may struggle and search for it, know that compassion is
close at hand. Know it is yours.
In order to find the jewel we speak of, you must lift yourself out of the
quicksand of hate, out of the darkness of anger, out of the shackles of pain and
fear. You must throw off the yoke of pity. With the power of forgiveness, with
the power of your heart and the wisdom of your soul, the gleaming jewel is
within your reach.
 This
article is excerpted from the book:
The Next Step in Evolution
by Vincent Cole.
©2000. Reprinted with permission of the author. Published by
Writers Club Press, an imprint of iUniverse.com, Inc. http://www.iuniverse.com
Info/Order
this book (new
edition 2003).
About the Author
Vincent
Cole is a wandering monk who has been facilitating prayer and meditation groups,
as well as Women Healing Circles for the past 15 years throughout the United
States. While on a personal yearlong retreat in the desert outside Tucson, AZ,
Brother Vincent took a collection of channeled messages given to a small prayer
group many years ago, and edited them into the book "The
Next Step in Evolution -- a personal guide (first edition)."
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