Attitudes Transformed
by Geshe Sonam Rinchen
 If
we continue to cherish only ourselves, we will always be afraid. Our
self-concern makes us worry about what might happen, even when nothing is
threatening us. We are terrified by snakes and scorpions, which are, in fact,
quite minor causes of fear. To alleviate our hunger and thirst we cause the
death of many creatures.
Greed in our search for prosperity and happiness makes
us ruin forests, rivers and mountains, and even when we are not doing it
ourselves, our many needs and desires insure that others will continue to
exploit these natural resources without thinking about the long-term
consequences. When we destroy the habitat of non-humans, such as certain kinds
of celestial beings and nagas, they respond by harming us, causing disease,
conflict in the home and other troubles. Clearly a radical change in our
attitude is needed.
Attachment to our body and self makes us cling to our wealth and think, "If I
give this away, what will be left for me?" Such an attitude is responsible for
all our problems, while the thought, "If I use this, I'll have nothing to give
to others," is responsible for all joy and well being. If we strive for fame,
praise and respect, we will be reborn as some inferior creature or a person whom
others despise. If we insure that others receive praise, fame, service and
regard, it will lead to a good rebirth in which we enjoy status, a good
appearance and others' respect. If we exploit others for our own benefit, we
will be exploited and manipulated in another life, but if we use our physical
and mental resources to care for others, we will also be taken care of, not only
in future but also in this life.
Without reversing our present attitudes towards ourselves and others, we
cannot attain enlightenment. We might think, "Well, so what?" But at the same
time we don't want to remain in our present condition, experiencing unhappiness
and suffering. By considering all these points carefully, we will realize that
making this switch in our attitudes is possible. This is what "exchanging self
and others" means.
In his Great Exposition of the Stages of the Path Je Tsongkhapa first defines
what is meant by "equalizing" and then explains how to cultivate this state of
mind. He encourages us to persevere with thinking about the disadvantages of not
cherishing others and the great advantages of doing so, as a way to develop
greater enthusiasm. He defines what exchange of self and others means, describes
the main obstacles that prevent us from making this switch and how to overcome
them. As a result of deeply contemplating the faults of self-concern and the
benefits of cherishing others, this reversal will come about automatically.
However hopeless the condition of living beings may appear, they all have the
capacity to become free from suffering and to enjoy happiness because of their
inner potential and the purity of their nature. Though we may really wish to
remove their suffering and give them happiness, what we are able to do at
present is extremely limited. From this we see how important our own
enlightenment is. Our hope to become enlightened will only make us act if we are
convinced that it is really possible to overcome our faults and limitations and
to develop our full potential. We must understand what enlightenment entails,
realize that we have the ability to attain it and then resolve to do so. Others'
wellbeing is our primary reason for doing this, but enlightenment is also the
full flowering of our own potential. As long as we think it is sufficient merely
to stop our personal suffering, we will not aspire to gain the wisdom body of an
enlightened being.
What are the obstacles to exchanging self and others? At present we see our
own self, the basis for our personal happiness and suffering, and the self of
others, the basis of their happiness and suffering, as quite unrelated, rather
like blue and yellow, which can be taken to mind without reference to each
other. Because of this we are not concerned about their happiness and suffering,
while our own condition is of immense importance to us. Though we and they are
of course different, we are nevertheless connected. It is impossible to conceive
of "self" except in relation to "other," just as "this side" only makes sense in
relation to "that side" and vice versa. They are mutually dependent. "This side"
is only this side while we are here, but when we get over there, our perspective
has changed. Neither self nor other are inherently existent. What am I, self or
other? Both thoughts are valid in relation to me.
We may think others' suffering doesn't hurt us so why should we bother to
alleviate it. If this is the argument we use, there are two analogies which can
help us to change our attitude. Why should we do anything to alleviate the
suffering we will experience when we are old, such as saving money or buying
insurance policies, because that suffering doesn't affect us now? Why should our
hand do anything to help when we have a thorn in the foot? After all the thorn
isn't hurting our hand. We shouldn't be too quick to dismiss these examples.
Exploring them in meditation can help to bring about a change in our way of
thinking.
Will understanding the true nature of the self stop our longing for worldly
happiness and bring about a transformation in our attitudes? There are many
levels to understanding the true nature of the self. Even a recognition that the
self undergoes change moment by moment will dramatically decrease our
preoccupation with the things of this life. Because of our clinging to the self
as enduring and unchanging, we waste our energy on trivial concerns and neglect
what is important.
If we don't correctly identify what is poisoning our life and instead nurture
it, happiness will continue to elude us. We have it the wrong way round. If
someone asks why we are unhappy, we have a long list of people and circumstances
to blame. Very few of us will point to something within. The law recognizes the
harmful effects of the disturbing emotions only in their crudest aspects when
they lead to blatant dishonesty rape, robbery, violence and murder. Nobody but a
true spiritual practitioner will mention the need to uproot those disturbing
emotions in all their forms and yet, if we are honest, we must admit how
upsetting they are and how much misery they cause us. No matter how luxurious
our surroundings, these emotions will prevent us from enjoying comfort and from
getting a good night's sleep. And even if we do sleep, we wake up miserable in
the morning. How much happier we and those around us would be if we could stop
the grosser manifestations of these emotions.
Our self-concern makes us consider even minor discomforts unbearable.
Reversing this, our aim is to become as sensitive to others' slightest suffering
as we are to our own. To prepare the ground for this, we contemplate the faults
of selfishness and the benefits of cherishing others, so that we can develop a
real wish for change and identify the obstacles which stand in its way.
A healthy interest in our own welfare is fine, but far from accomplishing our
well-being, our exclusive concern with it has simply produced endless suffering.
We can observe how hard humans and animals try to find happiness and yet they
all experience suffering. We fail to find happiness because we use the wrong
methods. Our selfishness cuts us off from present and future happiness but we
don't recognize this as the real obstacle. We don't blame our misconceptions and
egoism but instead blame others.
We magnify the importance of the self and our own happiness and have
unrealistic expectations. Our reputation means a lot to us. We may want to be
known as a good meditator, a fine scholar, or as someone who is always kind,
generous and helpful to others. To accomplish this we are often prepared to act
negatively and emotions like pride, envy, disdain and competitiveness arise
easily. We cannot bear to see others doing well in any way and a single word or
look can make us burn with rage.
We are most reluctant to admit our faults, but until we can face our own
imperfections, our study and practice of the teachings will not bear fruit
because egoism is in conflict with the teachings and with decent human conduct.
We easily observe such behavior in others but think we are fine just the way we
are. Unless we recognize the same pattern in ourselves, we will not benefit from
the teachings nor from the presence and care of our teachers. When friends offer
us useful advice and point out our faults, we see their criticism as
interference and refuse to accept advice. Our response antagonizes others and we
soon find ourselves at odds with those around us. Before very long it seems as
if the whole world is hostile. We feel more and more isolated and friendless.
All this happens because we do not value others and think only of ourselves.
We all know the kind of people who are so preoccupied with themselves that
they talk of nothing else. They don't purposely ignore one, but their minds are
totally taken up with their own experiences and activities. Between countries,
between members of a community, within the family, between teachers and
students, mutual respect and consideration are of greatest importance.
If we had invested as much energy in alleviating others' suffering and giving
them happiness as we have in the pursuit of personal happiness, we would have
accomplished our own and others' well-being long ago. There isn't a shred of
doubt about this. Instead all our effort has been wasted and futile.
Now resolve not to continue like this. Think, "May I be clear now and in
future about the true identity of my enemy. May I always bear it in mind. May I
prevent all future selfish thoughts and actions and may I stop all my present
selfishness now." Only by expelling our misconception of the self and our
selfishness can we truly fulfill our human potential. We should take pride in
combating our selfishness. Once we get rid of it, it will automatically be
replaced by concern for others.
There are two parts to our minds: the part responsible for all our troubles
and disasters and the part which brings all happiness. To transform we must
distinguish clearly between them. Acting to prevent self-concern from arising,
stopping any manifestations of it as quickly as possible, cultivating new forms
of concern for others and strengthening our present expressions of it will bring
about the change we desire. If we are bored by this list of the faults of
selfishness, it is because we have no real desire to change our ways, but
instead want to hear something new and exotic.
The crux of these instructions is constantly to try not to be influenced by
attachment to "our own side." We are training ourselves to give everything --
our property, body and positive energy -- without any hope of reward or return.
If we hope for anything in return, even a good rebirth or enlightenment, it is
just like a business transaction. Making a small outlay we hope for large
returns. If we could learn to be as generous as Bodhisattvas, we would find that
all our needs are met.
As beginners we must practice in imagination sincerely giving everything to
others and dedicating our physical, verbal and mental actions to their service.
In practice we shouldn't overreach ourselves but do what is within our capacity.
Nor need we feel compelled to do everything others ask of us. It is important to
protect ourselves, for if we are weakened, we can help nobody. At present we are
as fragile as a bubble and don't have much stamina.
Having promised everything to others, we must serve them faithfully and must
not wrong them by looking at or speaking to them in a hurtful way, nor by
thinking harmful thoughts. Any self-serving impulses we notice, we should try to
stop at once, for these are the cause of all our troubles.
Who can criticize this practice? We may feel it is too difficult for us, but
if we make an effort to begin, gradually we will be able to do more and more.
Admiration for such conduct, feeling inspired by it and making prayers that one
day we will be able to act like this ourselves is the first step. Do we learn
about such things in school? Most of us think we are quite clever and capable.
This is a good way to use our intelligence and aptitudes.
By seeing the enormous drawbacks of self-centeredness, we will develop the
ability to see all beings as lovable. As soon as concern for others becomes
constant and spontaneous we have made the switch.
Although our aim is to see all living beings as lovable, it is undeniable
that at present we do not see them in this way.
We have so many different fears, all of which are rooted in self-concern. If
we can let go of that, our fears will diminish. To overcome this self-concern
and our misconception of the self we need to develop the conventional and
ultimate altruistic intention. This is the best way of overcoming all fears, for
if we appeal to some external force, we may find ourselves even more frightened
and in a greater tangle.
How to develop altruistic intention.
There are eleven steps: equanimity, recognizing all beings as our mothers,
remembering their kindness, repaying their kindness, equalizing self and others,
recognizing selfishness as the enemy, seeing the benefits of cherishing others,
giving to strengthen love and taking to strengthen compassion, both of which are
combined with the thought of exchanging self and others, the special wish and
the altruistic intention.
This
article is excerpted from:
 The Bodhisattva Vow
by Geshe Sonam Rinchen
(edited and translated by Ruth Sonam)
Reprinted with permission of the publisher, Snow Lion Publications. ©2000. www.snowlionpub.com
Info/Order this book
About the Author
GESHE
SONAM RINCHEN was born in Tibet in 1933. He studied at Sera Je Monastery and in
1980 received the Lharampa Geshe degree. He is currently resident scholar at the
Library of Tibetan Works and Archives in Dharamsala, India, where he teaches
Buddhist philosophy and practice, mainly to westerners. He has also taught in Japan, Australia, Great
Britain, South Korea, Ireland, New Zealand and Switzerland. He is the author of several books.
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