Are
You Rebelling???
by Marie T. Russell
 It dawned on me one day that many of us
are still rebelling... like children, yet not
knowing why. I was surprised, almost shocked,
to find this behavior in myself. I thought I
had outgrown it... Yet, when I questioned
myself as to the ?why? of certain
behavior, the answer was that I was rebelling.
As children we rebelled against our
parents, against authority. Yet now that we
are adults and are ?in charge? of our own
lives, why are we still rebelling and whom are
we rebelling against? The answer is the same:
?authority?. Yet we are often the ?rebeller?
and the ?rebellee?. Strange concept?
Possibly, but one that we give life to many
times.
When starting a new resolution, whether
a new diet, exercise program, or a new
positive attitude, we reach the point where
rebellion steps in. Here we are, on the one
hand telling ourselves what to do, and on the
other, refusing to do as we?re told. We
embody both the authority figure and the one
who hates being told what to do.
We make agreements with ourselves, or
with others, to adhere to a certain plan or
schedule, and then find ourselves begrudging
the time and energy needed to keep our
commitment. We sometimes start feeling
unexplained resentment towards the person or
project with whom we made the agreement.
I started a vision improvement program a
few months ago. It went great for two weeks.
Everyday I followed the instructions, did the
necessary exercises and visualizations. Then
came the rebellion..."Do I have to do
this everyday? I have other things to
do..." Time and time again I have seen
myself repeat this pattern...I start something
that I decided to do, then once it becomes
something I ?have? to do, I rebel and find
some reason (excuse) not to do it.
Where does the need for rebellion come
from? Is it the need to feel that we are in
control of our own lives, that we are the
masters of our destiny? Is it the need to feel
powerful? Is it an unspoken quest for
self-esteem and self-worth? Are we really
saying to ourselves and to the world that we
count, that we are important, that our desires
need to be heard, and that we make a
difference?
Taking a look at the instances where I
rebel, I see that these manifestations often
stem from a need to assert my independence...
to make a statement that no man (or woman) is
my master. Yet, ironically, when we exhibit
this behavior, we are indeed giving up our
power to the person or thing we are rebelling
against. We are letting someone else direct
our behavior. For example: I recall that, as a
child, I had established an unspoken rule. If
my mother told me to clean my room, I would
not do so. If she could go a certain length of
time (previously set by me without her
knowing) without mentioning my messy room, I
would clean it. But beware if she dare tell me
or even suggest that I do it... the mess would
remain until I decided she had waited long
enough.
Yet, when I refused to clean my room
because she had asked me to do it, I was still
giving her the power to control my actions.
Her request ?made me? keep my room messy;
when her action was ?silence?, then I
would clean my room. Her behavior dictated the
state my room was in, not to speak of my state
of mind. Her request would elicit the response
of sullenness and guilt from me.
In the case of our rebelling against
outside circumstances in our life, we rebel
through attitudes and thoughts. We end up
giving away our inner peace and happiness in
response to another?s action or inaction.
Who?s running who?
The only way to really be powerful in
our lives is to stay in charge of our actions
and reactions. It is not by expressing anger
that we show power. Power can often be hidden
in silent understanding and compassion. Power
can be found in accepting that everyone is
acting out their own life scenario, and that
everyone, including you, writes their own
script. Nobody writes your lines for you. No
one decides whether you feel happy or
depressed. No one can force you to react
angrily or peacefully when faced with a
stressful situation.
Where does the true power lay? Within
yourself, within your choices, within your
view of yourself and your world. Where does
the victory lay for the rebel? In seeing that
anger breeds more anger, rebellion provokes
more rebellion, and peaceful awareness brings
contentment and harmony.
As for myself, I truly wish to lay down
the arms and stop fighting myself. It has been
said that we are our greatest enemy... and
also that peace begins at home. It is time to
put away the rebellious attitudes and open up
to the power of commitment to our choices, to
self-respect, self-awareness, and the
authority and power within.
We can all be winners in this game
called life. It is not a competition. It is a
path on which we are free to be true to our
highest dreams and to the beautiful, powerful
beings that we are.
 RECOMMENDED
BOOK:
"The Courage To Be Yourself"
by Sue Patton Thoele.
Info/Order
book
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