Afraid
of the Past?
by Marie T. Russell
 Afraid
of the past? Now that seems like a silly concept, doesn't
it? How can one be afraid of the past when it has
already happened?
Yet when one looks closely at the
fears we have for the future, we see they are often
repetitions of old fears, or of things that have
happened to us or to others in the past.
What is
it you fear? Do you fear losing the one you love? Do you
fear losing your job, your security?
Look back at your
past and see... did you not once 'lose' someone or
something you loved? Did you not feel that your security
was 'taken' from you? Consequently, the fears that
you hold for the future are a deep rooted trauma that
the past will repeat itself.
You may even be fearing
something that happened to someone else. That also is in
the past, even if it is not directly your own.
We have
all heard of self-fulfilling prophecies. As a matter of
fact we live them every day and every moment of our
lives. We prophecize failure, then we manifest it in
some form, and the first words out of our mouth are 'I
knew this would happen'. We think we might get lost on
the way to a place we have never been, so of course we
do, and we comment 'I ALWAYS get lost when I go to new
places'. We are creating repeat performances of our
past and fulfilling our 'worst' expectations.
Conversely,
when we sincerely expect to succeed, we do. Some people
say that we get what we ask for. I would say rather that
we get what we expect, what we are willing to receive,
and what we think we deserve.
We can
stop expecting the worst. Our lives need not be a series
of reruns. Each day can be a brand new show. You may
have gone to bed feeling tired, but after a good night's
sleep, you wake up feeling refreshed.
In the same way,
even though your past may have had 'more than your
share' of trials and tribulations, you can let that
go! So what if you felt your mother didn't love you!
So what if a previous lover left you! So what if you
failed in the past! It is all in the past!
Today is a
new day, and it can be a completely new start, if we
treat it that way. Don't goad yourself into a
self-fulfilling prophecy of misery.
Arise
each day with the attitude that this is a brand new day,
a brand new life. It is more than turning a new page -- it
can be a complete new book.
Perhaps in an earlier novel
of your life, you were always left with a broken heart. Write a new scenario for yourself. In this
story,
you are the self-confident, attractive, loving, and
lovable heroine (or hero). You always get what you
choose. You choose success, wonderful loving
relationships, loving friends, a fulfilling job or
career, etc.
You can
change your script by changing your thoughts and
becoming the person you want to be. Become the kind of
person you would like around you. If you have been
crying out for love, be more loving. Never mind the
meticulous dissection of others' relationship with you
to see if by any chance, they are acting out one of your
fears (rejecting you, abandoning you, lying to you,
etc.).
Change your expectations, your
thoughts. Stop expecting disappointments and let-downs
at every corner. Start living each day joyously, like a
child that always expects wondrous surprises, and finds
them in little things like ant hills and blades of
grass, or a smile and a kind word.
Be
thankful for the good in your life. What you focus on
gains importance and expands. So focus on a joyful
expression of life. Be thankful for things we sometimes
take for granted, like flowers, butterflies, sunshine,
rain, a smiling face on the street, a roof over your
head, food to eat, etc.
Let the face that smiles be
yours because the world is a mirror. When you smile and
put love in your heart, you see and feel it reflected
all around you.
Don't
expect the world to change first. Start with yourself.
Focus on the beauty in your life, however small you may
feel it is.
Put a smile in your heart, however shaky
that smile may be. Don't be afraid of the past or of
the future. Become a child again expecting that everyone
that comes to you is bringing a gift.
Look for the
beauty that is to be found in everyone and everything.
That is the gift waiting for you. 'Seek and ye shall
find.'
Make sure you are seeking what you really
desire. It is there waiting for you.
It's up to you -- the
present is yours to discover.
Recommended
book:
Time to be Holy: Reflecting on Daily Life
by Swami Sivananda
Radha.
Info/Order
book
 About The Author
Marie
T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also
produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from
1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal growth, and
well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own
inner source of joy and creativity.
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