Finding Love at Work
by Alice Deville
 You
could find the relationship of your dreams right under your nose. Did you ever
think of the work place as a primary source of dating opportunities? If you are
thinking: not me; no way!, well, stop and reconsider. Coworkers may be the very
people who fill the most cherished places in your life.
Dating Do's and Don'ts
Much has been said about not dating coworkers, and there are good reasons to
follow that advice. However, your options are seriously limited if you eliminate
the place you spend most of your time from your scope. There are, however,
special considerations to take into account.
First, the work place is not the environment to try out the spiciest dating
trends. The suggestions I will offer for meeting partners relate mostly to
extracurricular activities and not to the arena where you do your work. Then,
once the two of you become an item, new rules kick in. If you use discretion you
will never give a boss or a coworker an uncomfortable moment. I do recommend
that you let others know you are dating. That way, if they see you on the street
they won't be shocked since they normally see you interacting in a professional
capacity.
Second, although your jobs may require that you collaborate in your work, be
sure neither of you lingers too long at the other's workstation. Keep the doors
open. Don't get lost at lunch either, or come back with lipstick on your cheek
or shirt collar. Coworkers have radar. When they know you are dating, you can be
sure they will look for telltale signs. So will your boss.
That brings me to rule number three, please don't date the boss unless the
two of you keep it strictly out of the work place. If you become serious about
each other, make quiet plans to relocate one of you to another position. Once
the word gets out subordinates may be looking for signs of favoritism and the
dynamics get messy.
Fourth, talk yourself out of dating a married coworker -- no matter how
magnetic the attraction! People pick up vibes on affairs. Your visible dating
space has limits and you could do something foolish, like baring your passions
on the boss' desk. (I'm not kidding.) An example of this scenario involved an
air Moon secretary and a fire Moon telephone repairman (both married) who
carried on a hot romance for years. When she knew her boss would be stepping out
for a few hours, the air sign would summon the fire sign to fix the ailing
phones. Yep, those wires went on the fritz several times a week. Within moments
of the boss' departure, the faithful fire responded to her urgent call. The real
fire was in the boss' darkened conference room where the lovebirds would retreat
for their afternoon delight. Everyone in the office knew about it except the
boss until the fateful day that he returned unexpectedly. Can you imagine his
shock when he flung open the door of his conference room to retrieve a
presentation portfolio and got an X-rated view of his secretary and her lover in
the throes of passion?
And finally, while not everyone in love takes the bare approach in the actual
work setting, other indiscretions do occur. Avoid sending love letters via
e-mail, or chain mail, or any form of communication that others may see. It
doesn't matter whether your loved one is a client or an off-site contact. You'll
stimulate the office grapevine because your unprofessional behavior wastes
company time and money. Ditto for you frequent flyers. When traveling together
for legitimate work commitments, don't book connecting rooms in your hotel. Who
are you kidding? If you meet while on a trip, remember that long-distance
romances are among the most difficult to sustain.
So, as I said, you can find the relationship of your dreams right under your
nose, so let's proceed and check it out.
The Work Scene
This dating arena, also known as your work environment, varies in tone given
the diversity of professions. Work place politics influence the climate.
Liken the possible scenarios to the many colors in the spectrum. Opportunity
is either enhanced by an open, people-friendly setting, or diminished by a
business-only outlook. Understanding the underlying philosophy will give you a
clue about how intra-company dating might be viewed. Be sure you understand
existing policies. Many companies discourage employee fraternization. What's it
like where you work? If you are clueless, check out the organizational directory
for evidence of employed couples and the grapevine for an informal read.
Larger organizations seem more open to employing bonded couples if there are
no conflicts of interest along supervisory lines. Some companies are okay with
hiring married couples, but discourage pursuit of a hot romance on company time.
Officials would rather see Mars and Venus do their thing on neutral turf, and
embarrassing moments disrupt productivity. Employee discomfort mushrooms when
they see coworkers sneaking a smooch in the hallway or necking in the parking
lot after lunch. Not all work settings involve large numbers of other employees
observing the love bug in action.
Sometimes your future partner comes to you in response to your need for help.
Employees in service industries report meeting future partners while responding
to a call to duty. Think of repair specialists who visit your home when the air
conditioning, plumbing, or electricity is on the fritz. The cop on the beat can
have fluttery heartstrings while gathering information from an attractive victim
of an office mugging. She may even call back to make sure the victim is healing
and check out the left hand for signs of a wedding band.
Consider the opportunities of personal care providers such as hair stylists,
fitness trainers, and estheticians who meet a variety of people on a daily
basis. Individuals who seek their services come to them and talk about their
lives. The client's love life is often the chief topic of discussion. Before
long a level of trust develops and you are trading notes. (They already have
your telephone number!) True to the nature of the air element (Gemini, Libra,
and Aquarius) relate favorably to one another. Likewise, the earth signs
(Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn) get along with signs in the water element
(Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces).
So where does love come in? Just think about the amount of time spent
interacting with others in the work place. You meet people who share common
interests, educational experiences, philosophies, and maybe similar goals.
Individuals with Moons in harmonious astrological elements seem to get along
better in relationships. Communication flows from the boardroom to the lunchroom
and beyond.
Although an understanding of Moon sign compatibility gives you insight into
the possible dynamics, it is seldom enough proof that a relationship is solid.
Your astrology chart reflects your blueprint for this lifetime, and presents a
total picture of your emotional needs and passions through the expression of
your personal natal planets: Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter. If
you have these planets in the Sixth House, you automatically increase your
chances for meeting someone through your work that becomes a dating partner. The
odds go up tremendously when a prospective partner has planets in favorable
aspect to your Sixth House placements. If the natal planets make contact with
transiting planets (current movement of the planets), the relationship develops.
That means your adrenaline starts pumping every time this wonderful person comes
near you. You may not remember anything you say because the transiting planets
are generating activity. Just shake up Venus and Mars and you have a little
heart action.
Style and Substance
If you are wondering how the elements express their love in the work place,
this overview may give you the information. Fire Moons (Aries, Leo, and
Sagittarius) demonstrate their passion and responsiveness. This element has a
deep awareness of their magnetism and falls in love easily. Once attracted, fire
signs put considerable energy into getting to know you. Regardless of gender,
they facilitate private encounters to find out what makes you tick. They want to
eliminate competition, so before long you'll be sharing lunch, discussing your
favorite recreation spots, and exploring weekend plans. Leave it to fire signs
to find a way to get you to say "yes" to that first date. These high-energy
types will include you in work-related projects or social events and off-site
get-togethers with their friends. Do these qualities appeal to you? Know that
with fire ruling your Sixth House of work, you could attract this type of
partner. If you are not interested, it won't take a fire sign long to catch on
and quickly back away. Pride is a big thing with them, and they won't want
colleagues to catch them in the throes of rejection.
Members with earth Moons (Taurus, Virgo, or Capricorn) develop a work place
relationship much more slowly than their fire peers. If you are particularly
grounded and committed to your career, you'll probably catch the eye of an earth
sign when this element influences your Sixth House of work. They'll probably
start out by looking at your place in the organization and evaluating your
contributions. For earth signs, passion often begins after they've observed
outstanding performance in the work place. Earth looks for a strong work ethic,
ambition, and financial security in prospective partners. When an earth sign
discovers your charms, you may find yourself under quiet surveillance. This more
reserved type makes it a point to engage you in conversations or pick your brain
at meetings and conferences. Since they enjoy self-development, don't be
surprised if a smitten earth supervisor or colleague shows up in the same
training session as you more than once -- it is no coincidence.
Earth may also show an interest in your travel schedule and look for
opportunities to link up in distant places. Rather than meet you for lunch in
the company cafeteria, a normally discreet earth may feel more comfortable
dining with you while you are both in travel status. If you don't mind talking
shop in the early stages of the relationship, rapport with an earth type could
take you out of the dating loop and into a secure partnership.
With the air element (Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius) affecting your Sixth
House, the world of communication influences dating opportunities. For one
thing, air Moons are generally talkative and prefer intellectual rapport with
partners. Their interests are very diverse. They quickly assimilate workplace
dynamics, first out of curiosity and then to impress colleagues with their
smarts. Air signs wrote the book on networking and unless they are writers,
they'll rarely spend a workday in seclusion.
If they are interested in you, you will feel like air types are popping up
everywhere you go. And in between those physical meetings, members of this
element find every imaginable way to connect with love interests -- the
Internet, e-mail, telephone, pager, snail mail, interoffice memo, or a witty
verbal exchange over an office partition. Make eye contact with them across a
crowded room and expect a wink. Yes, they are flirts, and you may have
competition because others are attracted to their easygoing mannerisms.
You can count on air sign's sense of humor and calm facade to reduce tension
when the work place has one of those Murphy's Law days. Air signs hope you value
their intelligence and problem-solving skills. Dating a member of the air
element assures you of an active social life and a variety of mind-expanding
experiences.
When the water element (Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces) influences your work
house, you need emotional commitment and support from others. This requirement
often emerges in the form of a mentor who notices your potential and coaches
your professional development. Initially, they may show a strong protective
attitude toward you and be unaware of their growing personal interest. Water
signs, with their developed sixth sense, have the inside track on your moods and
feelings. They have excellent people skills and feel flattered when you seek
their counsel and guidance.
One or more water sign coworkers, clients, or contacts may develop a crush on
you and find reason to visit your work place frequently. Members of this element
usually sense your receptivity. They will almost surely treat you to an
impressive meal, or offer to cook one for you, when the relationship progresses.
Don't be surprised if they invite you to family gatherings early in the game.
Once love blossoms, the water Moon may pursue you relentlessly and smother you
with attention. With the Sixth House water emphasis, you're going to draw
partners who show compassion and a desire to cherish their beloved. Since you
need depth and intensity in your relationships, you'll soon have evidence of a
lasting commitment. Just make sure you save the bear hugs for after hours.
Formula for Work Place Dating
Do you want to know where to find single men and women? I hope you can keep a
secret so there won't be a stampede. The fire, earth, air, and water Moons are
right under your nose at the work place. All you have to do is get going, and
not necessarily out of your way.
Take an inventory of your typical workday. Where do social opportunities
occur? The best time to meet a working person is early in the morning, at
lunchtime, or after work. As you get to know more about a work colleague, the
optimal meeting time will extend to weekend activities.
First, how do you get to work? If you travel alone, consider answering an ad
to join a carpool. There may not be a single in the group, but the camaraderie
that develops usually leads to social invitations and access to members' friends
who are single. Join members for lunch occasionally. They may introduce you to
unattached colleagues who have interests you share.
If you ride public transportation, chances are you see the same people at the
same bus or subway stop. Have you ever initiated a conversation with another
rider? Travel-related exchanges, especially weather conditions, are an easy
entry. Ever notice how a snowstorm or sudden downpour serves as an icebreaker
for usually stoic passengers? Other starters cover destination, jobs, and
companies. Remember that you aren't the only single who is riding. Once you make
the right connection, you may be saving a permanent seat for your favorite
commuter. I know two couples who met this way.
Don't forget to check a potential date's reading material. You may be able to
spot a prospect with a compatible Moon sign. Fire signs read sports, politics,
and entertainment materials; earth signs look at the stock market, read
historical novels and how-to-get-rich guides; air signs go through at least two
magazines per trip and carry the current bestseller; and water signs like the
biographies and self-help manuals. "Are you enjoying that book?" is a comment
that is sure to get a response when you ask your seatmate for a reading
recommendation.
What do you do when you get to work? Do you make a quick stop at the coffee
shop before you head to your cubicle? Ever notice that employees from other
divisions besides your own stop there also? Some workers are eating breakfast,
not just running in for a cup of coffee. Many of them are single. You could
leave home a little earlier once or twice a week and have breakfast, too. You
could be looking at the sunny side of a relationship in no time. And if your
organization has a coffee break ritual, make it a point to set your work aside
and join colleagues. This way you'll pick up information on social gatherings
and learn all about company-sponsored events.
Remember your opening lines when you spot an interesting single reading in
the work place lunchroom or cafeteria. "Mind if I sit here?" seldom gets a
turndown, especially if you show an interest in the person's reading material.
If bowling, tennis, or softball interest you, find out who is on the team and
join it. Does your company have a fitness center? That's where you'll find those
fire and earth Moons working out, often over lunch. I'm not saying the airs and
waters are not fit, but they will probably use the facilities after hours, so go
there to meet new singles.
The best way to meet singles at your work place is to make yourself visible.
Volunteer to chair the charity campaign, the holiday dance, the company picnic,
or the blood drive. You'll be able to keep your thumb on the pulse beat when it
comes to spotting other singles. Do attend conventions, conferences, and
off-site meetings. Each event has built-in social opportunities like mixers,
awards banquets, and tours that offer a chance to bond. If you have a flair for
entertainment or a gift of gab, offer to emcee or present a skit. Each of the
elements has a bit of ham in them, especially the fires and airs. Don't pass up
training when it is offered either. Your water Moon classmate may be the object
of your earth sign desire.
Love in Bloom
If you have personal planets in the Sixth House you are bound to form close
ties with work contacts at sometime during your trek through the wonderful world
of work. Be open to the possibilities. Potential dates are those very
individuals who influence a part of your workday. Some common denominator binds
you together whether you share adjoining space or provide a needed service for a
client. Savor your good fortune when romance blossoms through your career
connections. Your biggest bonus is yet to come. Just make sure you check with me
to select the ideal wedding date. See you at the altar.
 This
article is excerpted from 2002 Moon Sign Book, ?2001, by Llewellyn
Worldwide. Reprinted with permission of the publisher, Llewellyn Worldwide.
www.llewellyn.com
Info/Order the 2003 edition of this book.
About the Author
Alice
DeVille, an internationally known astrologer and writer, has a busy consulting
practice in northern Virginia. She specializes in relationships, career and
change management, real estate, and business advice. She has developed nearly
seventy workshops related to astrological, metaphysical, and business themes.
Alice also writes astrology articles for the
StarIQ.com
website. Contact Alice at
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for further
information.
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