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We all seem to have one habit or another from which we'd like to break free. For some it's smoking, for others eating compulsively, for other talking too much, or talking too little, for some working too much, for others... the list goes on and on. Yet between all of these there is a common link. Many of us feel helpless when faced with our habits. We feel controlled by our needs, our cravings, our habits, our addictions. How do get out of the trap? How do we break free?

While there is surely no one pat answer, there is a common thread. What makes us unable to break free? Somehow we feel we can't, that this "thing" is stronger than us, that it is ingrained in our cells, our genetics, our programming. While that may be true, who or what is this habit stronger than? Are "we" the habit? Or does it simply "live" somewhere? Where do our habits or cravings live? In our cells, in our genetics, in our memory, in our habits, in our brain? Wherever it is, it is somewhere in our body, our physical body.

It is said that the memory of everything that has ever happened to us is stored in our cells. The memory of every time you were hurt (physically or emotionally) is stored physically in a cell in your body. Every time someone told you "you couldn't do it" is stored in your cells, every time someone told you that "you weren't good enough" is stored in your body. All of it. No wonder it's difficult to get out of these patterns, habits, addictions. Not only do we have the habitual action (opening the fridge door, reaching for the pack of cigarettes, responding with anger without thinking, working late, etc.), but we also have the cells of our body responding from habit or old programming. The question is: Are we our body? Who runs the show? -- the body or us?

I like to think of my body as somewhat like my car, something outside of me or separate from me. I decide when I'll put gas into it, what type of gas it gets, when it gets washed, when it gets an oil change, etc. You get the picture. Another way to see the relationship between your body and you is that your body is like a child, or a pet. With a child or a pet, you decide what food and when it gets to eat. You decide what toys it is allowed to have, where it is allowed to go, what it is allowed to do, etc. In the same way, you are in charge (or you can be) of your body. You decide what it gets to eat, where it gets to go, etc..

The problem may lie in that we have so totally identified with our body that we don't realize that we have "ruling power" over it. We get to decide, not "it". We have somehow let our body take over, like a child who has thrown so many tantrums that the parents have given up and now let it have its own way. We have given up and let our body make decisions for us. Yet it is not capable of making "enlightened" decisions. It is so tangled up in cellular memories, genetics, programming, that it can't make a decision which is for our highest good. It decides based on cravings, old unsatisfied needs and wants (my mother never let me have sweets), and old programming (she always ruins her dinner by snacking all afternoon).

I am not my body! I reside in this body. I have a lease on it. I do not even have ownership. After this body dies (yes it will do that at some point), it's done for. But "we" are not. Whatever this "we" is. Whether it is a unique spiritual entity, or a group consciousness, or soul group... whatever the actual form of "we", we live on. Too many of us have had experiences of life after death, of people communicating with us after death, of astral travel, etc., for us to still doubt whether "our life" is separate from the life of our body. They are two distinct things. Our car may conk out and die on the side of the highway, but we get out and start walking... and eventually we get a new car. In the same way, our body may die, but we get out and keep going... somewhere, somehow.

Maybe the way out of addictions and old programming is to disassociate ourselves from our body. I am not my body! I am spirit, I am soul, I am a spiritual being residing in this body. Once we regain that perspective, we can start dealing with our body as a rebellious child... sometimes giving it treats and rewards, but definitely not letting it run the show. It is not in charge. It does not have the wisdom and knowledge to make the "proper" decisions. We do! We have learned what is best for us, for both our body and our spirit, and we have the ability to make "enlightened" decisions.

Take back control of your body. It's just a cantankerous child -- and you're letting it run your life? Maybe some clarification of roles needs to take place. You can break free once you realize who you are. You are not your body, so how can you be controlled by its needs and demands and fears? We can break free. It may take some effort to take back the reins, but we can remind ourselves (continuously) "who's the boss" and live accordingly. You've got the power! You are the power!

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Get Unstuck! The Simple Guide to Restart Your Life
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About The Author

Marie T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from 1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal growth, and well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own inner source of joy and creativity.

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