I wish you, and all of us, a perfect new year. Yes, perfect! Of course, that begs the question: "What does perfect mean?" In the way that I (and probably you too) grew up, perfect meant making no mistakes, always "being good" (according to someone else's definition of being good), having good grades, never misbehaving, always saying and doing the right thing, and not making "too much noise", not getting in the way, and being a "model child". Whew! Tough line to follow! Impossible I would say!
So what do I mean when I wish you a perfect New Year? One where everything takes place like in a fairy tale world? While I don't "not wish you that", that is not what I mean. Is a perfect year one in which all your dreams come true? While that certainly would be wonderful, it is not necessarily perfection in the way that I've come to think of it.
Perhaps this definition of perfection will help clarify my wish for you. It is taken from the book "Strong Woman" by M. Sue Benford.
"Perfection, in God's eyes, is being incapable of choosing deeds that are not based solely in love for oneself or another human being."
That's what being perfect is! It's not about making mistakes, about getting the best grades, the best job, having the ideal weight, the ideal mate, the ideal home, the ideal anything. Perfection is about basing all of our actions on love for ourselves and for others. That's it! Basing all our actions on Love -- that's being perfect.
I Wish You A Perfect New Year!
So when I wish all of us a perfect New Year, I wish us a year where all of our actions and intentions are based on love for ourselves and others. And while that may sound like a "tall order", in reality it is not.
When one looks at the Universe in all of its wondrous expression, we realize that when we act from love, everything falls into place. It's on the occasions when we act out of fear, anger, greed, or any other unloving energy, that things fall apart. When we trust in the power of love to guide our path, then we are being perfect according to the Divine Plan.
Many times we agonize over making decisions -- this or that, this one or that one, this way or that way. Perhaps the question that would help us resolve our indecisiveness is simply: Is this the loving way? Is this the way love would have me act? Is this the path of love or the path of fear?
What Would Love Do?
Many times we choose "being safe" over "stepping out on a limb" and following our heart -- whether that choice involves a career change, a relationship choice, a move, a decision of how to handle a "touchy" situation, a loved one who is very ill, or addiction problems, or day to day interactions with the people around us. While there are many questions and many variables in life, there is always one answer -- Love is the answer.
For some of you, this may seem "pollyanna-ish", but if you think back on the many chaotic events and challenges in your life, and apply the key answer -- love -- to all of them, you can see that the answer does apply -- though sometimes we only see it in retrospect. At the time the situation took place, maybe you did not see how Love would solve the problem, but years later (or sometimes only days later) you see that Love would not only have made the "problem" mellow out, it would actually have turned a "bad" situation into a "wonder-full" one.
Love is not an "either or" situation -- love for myself or love for someone else. If love is the answer, then it is the answer for all concerned. I've noticed in my life, that when I make the choice that is the most loving for myself, it turns out to be the best for the other people concerned as well. If you're extremely tired and do not feel up to going out with a friend, the loving thing for yourself is to be "up front" and say so. And chances are, it will also turn out to be for the best for your friend as well. Perhaps she was tired also and was only going because she thought you wanted to -- or perhaps she'll have an incredible experience on her own, that would not have happened if you had been by her side. Choosing love (staying home and taking care of yourself) always turns out to be the "win-win" choice for all concerned.
We do need to differentiate between a loving choice and a selfish one. The selfish one is the one that we need to justify to ourselves later -- the choice we know is not loving for all, but simply wanting the best for ourselves and the hell with everyone else. The loving choice is the one that benefits all -- even if at the beginning it does not seem like it. Perhaps you choose to give up something you care for in order to be loving for someone else -- yet in the long run you see that you gain much more than you lose, when you choose love (not martyrdom, now).
The Perfect New Year's Resolution
I wish you a perfectly loving new year, a year full of love for yourself, for the people around you (even with their "imperfections"), for the world we live in (even with its "imperfections").
I wish us all a year where all our thoughts, our motives, our actions are directed by Love -- love for our own self, love for the people around us, and love for the greatest good for everyone on the planet.
Let us make only one New Year's resolution: to always ask first "Is this what Love would do?" and follow through with that Love.
Have a Perfect New Year!
Fearless Living: Live Without Excuses and Love Without Regret
by Rhonda Britten.
Learn to let go of indecision, gain clarity of purpose, and take life-changing risks. With true stories, self-affirmations, and exercises, Rhonda exposes the roots of our fears and gives us the tools to move beyond them. The result is a blueprint for success, happiness, and a life without fear.
Info/Order this book.
About The Author
Marie T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from 1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal growth, and well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own inner source of joy and creativity.
More articles by Marie T. Russell