When a woman and man join, the coming together of bodies is the least of the meetings taking place. While the five senses are engaging in intense sensations, the minds of the two people are merging with all of their desires, aversions and thoughts. More important and more binding, the souls of the individuals are uniting, bringing together all of their hopes, dreams, sorrows; past, present and future.
Appropriate joining is that which brings together two souls, minds and bodies which will benefit from the union and leave the union better than they were before. Selecting a partner is one of the most important decisions life has to offer. It is not a form of judgment, but an act of deep respect for the partner's soul and your own as well. To choose a partner, or to accept a partner, based only on physical attraction is the lowest of possible reasons.
The most fulfilling partner is the one whose soul is in harmony with yours: the soul that has traveled a journey that enhances yours, the soul that lives life as deeply as you do. When your soul unites with a well-matched soul, you are creating balance and depth. When each soul is giving and receiving at its fullest capacity, each soul is merging fully.
You must begin to consider your soul when joining in sexual union. The delight you may have felt in the physical realm is but a trifle compared to the splendor of consciously joining souls. True eroticism occurs on all levels: bodies, minds and souls. Unions that are based only on physical attraction leave a person with a feeling of emptiness. It leaves a longing in the mind and soul. Misunderstood, this longing leads a person on an unquenchable journey from partner to partner. Many times promiscuity is merely an ignored soul being dragged around by its body.
You must consider that all of your hopes and dreams are melding with those of your partner. You are bringing every lesson you have struggled with and every challenge you have met. You are joining in a union of souls, minds and bodies, leaving the event deeply changed. While the current culture may be trying to convince you that sexual union is only temporary physical pleasure and possible physical consequences, actually it is much, much more.
You have been sent to earth to relate to others, to learn from others and to join with others. This joining includes your total being, which is all part of the evolutionary process. You are meant to merge with others. When this is done mindfully, the two souls part from one another enriched and balanced. The composite energy is greatly enhanced. When the attraction occurs exclusively on the physical level, either from you or to you, it diminishes the union to a fraction of its potential.
Imagine inverting the current system of physical attraction in which the discovery of mind and soul occurs after all of the body parts have been assessed and identified as desirable. Imagine physical attraction occurring only after the soul, and then the mind, found genuine resonance with another. Imagine your soul gravitating toward and recognizing another soul which would compliment your own; a soul that would truly meet yours, transform yours and leave enhanced.
This is your calling. This is your right. This is the way for your soul to give and receive. This is the proper way to join with others at this stage in human evolution. You must honor the soul first, yours and the other person's as well. It is only through honoring the soul first that the soul can evolve. Leaving it to chance, or even leaving it to consider last, confines your path, diminishes your journey, insults your evolution. Where you put your attention, how you place your attention, defines who you are and who you are to become.
There is great joy and abiding fulfillment in joining with another when it is mindful, when it is total, when it is done with complete awareness. You will find it deeply erotic, wholly satisfying and heartfelt. You will be consciously participating with all of creation, evolution and the Great Way.
Sexual union is not meant to be empty. It is not meant to only lead to more desire. It is not meant to bring pain and loss. This occurs when the physical is honored first or only. Bodies are merely vehicles for expression. You are so much more. You must recognize this in yourself and others. You must begin to address your soul first and greet the souls of others. Bodies are transitory. Souls are everlasting.
Each person leaves the union with an amalgam of that union. Each mind has been deeply affected and is permanently changed. Each soul has been deeply affected and is permanently changed. Just because you do not perceive it, does not deny it. It is only the perception you do not have. The change is set and each of you lives with the consequences.
To mate with a person of compassion will leave you more compassionate. To mate with a person who hates will bring that energy into your soul. To mate with a person who considers life deeply will leave you with greater depth. To guard against sexually transmitted diseases is but a trifle compared to the danger of mating with a person who harbors dishonesty.
And what of your part? What are you bringing to the union? What have you developed in the deepest regions of your soul? You are fully accountable as well. Have you worked diligently to develop virtue? This is your gift in the union. This is your practice of mindfulness. Be it a spouse of many years, or a single union, you bring all that you are, all that you have been, all that you wish to be. You will leave transformed; responsible for any and all energy exchanged.
This article was excerpted from :
About the Author
Zoe Ann Nicholson holds a B.A. in Theology, Quincy University, 1969 and a M.A. in Religion, USC, 1975. She has led a very diverse life, from teaching high school, building and operating a bookstore, to working in high tech. Her dedication to the advancement of women began with fasting for 37 days in Springfield, Illinois, demonstrating for the Equal Rights Amendment in 1982 and continues to the current day.